Dear FanFic,

I didn't delete my private messages for a reason, so I definitely didn't appreciate you deleting them for me. If you choose to do so again I'll have no choice than to kick your ass. :/

XOXO
Crystal AKA LoveKe$ha4eva :)

Okay, so now that that's out the way... Sorry for the long wait. My iPod finally died and won't turn back on, so I'm waiting for my parents to buy me a new one. Then, the hardware on my computer went out so the only way I could write this chapter was to LITERALLY WRITE IT! Ugh!

Okay, I'll admit, I've been really lazy lately and haven't been in the writing mood. Really all I've been doing is reading. I wanted to catch up on that. FanFic stories of course. ;)

So love you and your reviews, I'm continuing with more drama & more chapters since that's what most people want.

Here goes...

Bella's POV

"I just... I made a mistake and I want to apologize-" I stopped him right there.

"I don't care Edward! I really don't!" I screamed. "You can say you're sorry all you want but I'm not forgiving you."

It hurt me so much to yell at him like this, but I know he deserved it. This was what I needed to do to keep from crying, and to keep from running into his arms and telling him how much I missed him and needed him. But no. I couldn't do that yet. Not until he knew just how it felt to think the love of your life hated you for no apparent reason. Trust me... He would find out soon.

He sighed.

"I know." Was all he said.

"What you did to me was cruel!" I shouted, getting angry that he was nodding his head, agreeing with me. This was good. Anger was what I needed if I was going to get through this. Of course, I expected him to agree that he was a jackass and take full blame, but I was still hoping for him to feel broken like he broke me.

I loved Edward... still, and it killed me to know that I wanted to hurt that way. But this is what I felt had to be done. He was still Adonis; so much more beautiful than I. Who knows if this might happen again, he had to know how it felt. If he really loved me, as he claimed ti have so many times, he wouldn't hurt me like this again once he knew how it felt.

"I don't even know why you showed your face again," I spat. Now I was being cruel, but I tired to appear as if I didn't care.

"Why do I even matter to you? Your little fuck doll is much better looking than I am!"

I continued to scream as his eyes grew wide once again at my words. What, did he think I was stupid? Like I didn't know he was fucking that slut. The real question is how long had he been doing it.

"Bella, I don't know what you thought was going on between Tanya and I but-"

"I know what was going on between you two. She made that quite clear," I stated crossing my arms, as I replayed that moment in my head. I remembered it clearly because that was the day Alice slapped me cross the face, and the day I really died.

"She lied, Bella." he tried to convince me. "Your the only one I would ever be willing to give my virginity to."

My eyes must have been as wide as saucers. I hadn't even known he was a virgin. He had been on the earth for this long and he hasn't done... it.

The word seemed so dirty now. Worst than a cuss word. He had a chance to be with Tanya. I'm sure there were several chances when that slut threw herself at him. Why wouldn't he take them... Unless he was lying about being a virgin.

"Bella," I heard my name being called from the doorway. I turned to see Kyle standing there with his arms crossed staring daggers at Edward. I felt a tear roll down my cheek that I never even felt coming. I quickly wiped it away. Damn! I know Edward saw that, and now he would know that I wasn't as strong as I appeared to be. Damn!

I tried my hardest to contain my sigh of relief. I didn't want Edward to hear how desperate I had been to get away from him.

"I'm coming." I walked out the door without a backwards glance. He shouldn't deserve even that much.

Kyle waited until we were almost to the gym to bombard me with the questions I had been waiting for.

"You okay? What happened?" I smiled at how he got just a nosy as me when it came to each others lives. Felt good to know I wasn't annoying him when I got that way... At least I hoped not...

"I'm fine. We just talked for a bit." I tried to sound as casual as possible. I didn't want him to know how much it hurt to walk away from Edward. He would forever hate me if he knew that. I was supposed to hate him. I told Kyle I hated him, but only because I wanted to. He didn't deserve my love, but I couldn't help but love him. He's everything I ever wanted and more. I tried to convince myself numerous times that I didn't love him; that what we had wasn't love. Of course, it didn't work. Maybe I was in love alone.

"What did you talk about?"

"Just... stuff."

"What kinda shit, Bella?" He was getting aggravated.

"Nothing. I just told him that I would never forgive him for what he did." He opened his mouth again to say something, but I had already opened the gym door and walk inside.

There were more people than I expected, and though it should've, it didn't make me nervous. Luckily, I arrived just as my name was being called to go up.

I felt this huge wave of courage crash over me, so I followed it before I changed my mind and chickened out. The fact that people were cheering for me made me smile. I hoped they would afterward too. I worked really hard on my routines.

Ah! I didn't even pick which routine I would perform! Oh God, how could I be so stupid? Sigh. It was too late now. I would have to wing it and go with whatever song they picked for me. Sounded lame, but I would have to let my body do the talking and feel the music. Ugh, I sound like Reneé.

Rude Boy by Rihanna came on and I froze. What was I supposed to do with this song? Everyone was staring and out the corner of my eye I could see Lauren laughing. I looked around once more and my eyes landed on Edward just as he was walking in. His eyes were glued to mine as he walked to the bleaches to join the rest of his siblings. Shit... They were all here. They were here to laugh at me. Watch me choke. Was I scared? Yes. Was I going to back out? Hell no!

So I moved to the music, and instead of trying to woo the boys by dancing like a stripper like most of the girls, I dance the way I danced in my bedroom every night. (A/N: If you want to see how she danced, go to YouTube and search: iDejance Rihanna Rude Boy. Katherine & Dejance are the first two. Watch Katherine!)

I stopped almost half way through the song, but no one was clapping or cheering. Everyone stood mouth agape. Was I that horrible?

As I walked towards him, I realized Kyle was smirking. What the hell? I thought he was supposed to comfort me when I fail, not laugh at me.

I was about ready to scream my ass off at him, when everyone burst into applause. I looked around the room then to the center of the floor. No one was there... so they were cheering for me. Me!

I smiled from ear to ear as I ran to the center of the room again, and bowed to the audience in the lamest way I knew how. Best to look stupid already in case someone told you that you did. That way you could say, "Duh! That was the point!" Then they'd be the one looking stupid.

Another song came on, Take It Off by Ke$ha. (A/N: YouTube search: iDejance Take it Off. Click on the first one. The first three people, and since they don't give there names the girl thats supposed to be Bella is the the one in black skinny jeans.)

Another two encores, Outta Your Mind by Lil Jon ft. LMFAO and Whip My Hair By Willow Smith. (A/N: Search YouTube: iDejance Outta your mind. The one you should looking for in that vid is Melissa. You can catch he in the second performance. And then search iDejance Whip my hair. It's the girl in the first performance.)

This new Bella was brave, didn't care what people said or thought about her. She was courageous and fearless and tough when she needed to be. She was completely kick ass... I liked this new Bella.

I kinda liked the way that ended. :) it was a kinda spur of the moment thing. Anywho... Is this chapter confusing? I think it is even for me. You have any questions on the YouTube videos and iDejance don't be afraid to ask! Their really good! They work with the best celebrities. :)

IMPORTANT: TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF THE DANCES BY iDeJance! :)

Please Review!