A/N: As always, this story is also to be found at yourfanfiction . com (no spaces, same author name - bloodsoakedleather) so if I do end up being deleted from here you can still continue reading.

Nasir could not sleep, although he feigned it well. His thought's were full of the man snoring softly beside him, his heart raced, his breaths quickened, his skin tingled and his body trembled just from his presence. He had felt this way before, in the beginning, when he had first become aware of his growing attraction to Agron, when he had feared that the gladiator saw him as nothing more than a wild dog to be put down before it could again bare teeth and his only relief had been in his fantasies. Oh what fantasies they had been though, how they had made him ache for more.

He felt himself grow warm at the memory, his flesh swelling slightly as it filled with blood and he bit his lip to keep from groaning out loud. He glanced over at Agron, still sleeping, and balled his hands into fists at his side to keep from touching, afraid that even the simplest of touches might stir his desires beyond what he already felt.

How could this be happening? He did not understand. After all he had been through, how was it possible that his body could still be stirred to passion by a simple kiss. Sedullus had broken him, shattered him into a thousand tiny pieces. He had believed himself beyond repair until Agron had shown him otherwise. With Agron's love and patience he had been able to put those pieces back together but the chips and cracks remained, he was still damaged. He would never be as before.

And yet here he lay, beside the man who so confused and enflamed his senses, desire spreading through his body like a fire that would not be doused, wanting and not wanting in equal measure. It was agony.

He glanced once more at the man who shared his bed, his eyes ghosting over the familiar curves and planes of his muscular back and wondered what would happen if he were to reach out and touch him right now. Would Agron simply mumble wordlessly and pull him into a comforting, sleepy embrace or would he wake and share in this reawakening ardour, taking him to the very edge of sanity with slow, practised strokes until he could hardly remember his own name as he had done so many times in the past? Was that even what Nasir wanted? Would he be able to truly let his fears go and allow himself to be claimed by pleasure or would his memories intrude and break him down all over again? And even if he was able, would Agron still want him that way. The gladiator had not responded to the kiss last night. Maybe he had just been caught by surprise, maybe he was as afraid as Nasir was and holding back… Maybe he no longer thought of him in that way. He knew that Agron still loved him, unconditionally, but perhaps the passion had died, perhaps the love that remained now between them was nothing more than the love of a treasured friend.

He needed to think, to clear his head and try to make sense of what was happening to him but that was not possible with Agron so close. Quietly and carefully so as not to awake the sleeping gladiator, Nasir slipped from their bed and crept away.

Time alone did little to help Nasir clear his head. His thoughts were as jumbled and confused as they had been and no matter what he did they always drifted back to Agron.

Naevia. He would talk with Naevia, she of all people would understand what he was going through. Maybe she would be able to help him make sense of his feelings.

He did not find Naevia as he had hoped he would.

"You have just missed her. She went to gather fruit for breakfast." Crixus told him as he oiled his sword.

"Oh." Nasir bit his lip, unsure what to do now.

"But I will tell her that you seek her upon her return."

Nasir gave a small nod and an equally small smile.

"Gratitude." He said softly as he turned to leave. He took barely two full steps before the Gaul called out to him.

"Wait." He set his sword upon the ground with a clanking sound. "Naevia and you… you share a bond I know but, perhaps there is something I can help you with in her absence?"

For a moment Nasir was silent.

"I do not think so." He said eventually looking back over his shoulder. "It regards a matter of an… intimate nature." Crixus nodded his understanding. "But the offer is well received."

Once again he turned to leave and once again he had taken barely two steps before he was stopped. This time it was not Crixus voice but his own, inside his head, that halted his departure. Maybe Crixus understood more than Nasir might have presumed, maybe he could help, at least in some part. He hesitated briefly before slowly turning back.

"Uhm…"

Crixus' hand was on the handle of his sword now but he dropped it again when he saw that Nasir yet remained.

"There is something?"

Nasir shuffled from foot to foot, his gaze fixed upon the ground in front of him.

"Perhaps... When Naevia was returned to you, and you learned of the wrongs that had been done to her, did it change the way you felt about her?"

"Naevia is my heart. The love of my life. Nothing could ever change the way I feel about her, not even that. Why do you ask?"

"No reason." He lied, his eyes still on the ground. He stayed silent for some time, feet still shuffling but making no move to leave. "But love can take many different forms. Do you… is she… when you look at her do you still see a beautiful woman or…"

"Nasir." Crixus interrupted taking pity on the young man and his obvious discomfort. "If you are trying to ask do I still desire her then the answer is yes, very much. Sometimes so much that it hurts. But she has suffered and I have no wish to add to her suffering so I keep my desires to myself until those times when she seeks them out." Nasir nodded silently, his thoughts beginning to clear now. Crixus watched him intently for several seconds, just now understanding the concerns that had given rise to Nasir's question. "I am no reader of minds but my guess would be that Agron feels the same way." Nasir looked up then, surprised that the Gaul had been able to read him so easily when he hadn't been trully sure himself of what he was really asking. "Talk to him." Crixus continued. "Until you do you will never be sure."

Nasir let out the breath that he had been holding and gave another nod.

"I will." He said as he took his leave. "And gratitude Crixus, you have helped more than you know."

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