Sorry for the long wait... again. I've been lazy and haven't been in the writing mood... again. Anyways, I started writing this two days before so if i start writing a chapter now then maybe I can have it posted two or three days from now. Much better than a month later right?

Bella's POV

Kyle and I walked out the school doors laughing.

"I don't care what you say! I'm taking you out to celebrate!" Kyle told me with the biggest smile on his face. He was actually proud of me!

"You were amazing!" he continued. I blushed and murmured a thank you. Somethings just never changed.

"She was, wasn't she?" a familiar voice called out behind us. It wasn't like the one I had talked to earlier today. This one was much more feminine. Kyle and I turned our heads at the same time. I sighed. They followed us; Edward and Alice.

"What do you want Alice?" I asked annoyed. I was getting tired of them cornering me, but I honestly wanted to hear what they had to say.

"We want to apologize Bella. I saw things wrong, but that still gave me no right to treat you that way." she looked down at her expensive shoes. "Especially me. I was supposed to be the one to help you though tough times. I'm a horrible best friend, and I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I really hope you will. I miss you, we all do."

She looked up at me, and if I hadn't have felt bad about hurting her feelings I would've laughed. She was so short. How had I gone so long without laughing before? Focus Bella, focus.

"I miss you, too, Alice. And yes, you were a horrible friend to me... and I hope you know that's why I can't accept your apology."

She looked at me with sincere eyes and I knew that if she could cry, she would've been.

"Bella... please. I miss you so much..." she said walking closer. Kyle tugged on my hand, but I didn't budge.

"Bella," Edward started. "I know it'll be a long time before you forgive me, and I deserve it, but Alice has beaten herself up over this. Believe it or not, worst than I have. Your her first best friend in a long time. If your not going to forgive me... please, at least do it for her." he pleaded.

I stared at him before looking back to her. I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. Was I really that much to her? I wanted to believe yes, and know that my best friend was still somewhere down there, but that was what I wanted to believe; fantasy. And I had to face reality. I lived in fantasy before. Thinking everything was great and nothing could ruin my time with Edward and we would live happily ever after forever. And unfortunately, everyone has to come out of reality at some point. Reality came knocking on my door the night I was raped. Reality told me that my best friend didn't give a shit about me, because if she did, she would've never hurt me. Reality sucks ass.

"I love Rose and Esme, but I couldn't relate to them like I could to you. Don't you miss playing Bella Barbie?" she asked.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that question. I absolutely hated playing Bella Barbie, but I never had the heart to tell her that. Mostly because she loved doing it, and I actually wanted to look at least a little like I belonged in their family. I loved that I looked like a model afterwards, but I hated the torture that came with it. But then again what was the point of dressing up when Rosalie was around? I always thought that until I would see Edward and the expression on his face when he saw me. It was the look of genuine love. He made me feel beautiful. Prettier than any model, prettier than Rosalie even. I especially missed that.

"Yeah right," I said sarcastically, "I hated when you did that. Your so controlling. Put our own husband in women's clothes for your own selfish amusement." I blurted out, too distracted by my thoughts to realize what I was saying. I froze, instantly regretting the words that came out my mouth and held my breath as I looked into her eyes. What I said wasn't at all much, and nothing compared to what I could've said when I was angry, but I knew how fragile her feelings were. She looked sad still, and almost heartbroken. I felt bad that I did that to her. I never meant to hurt her feelings, even if she was a terrible friend to me.

"I'm sorry," I blurted out again, and I resisted the urge to hit myself on the head. Why the hell was I apologizing? And by the look on Kyle's face he was thinking the same. Yeah, the old me was still somewhere under there. Clumsy and careful of others feelings. I hated that they brought out this side of me.

"No, don't apologize. I deserved that." I could honestly say that she did, but that didn't ease the guilt that I felt. I hated being mean, and I really hated these mood swings. One minute, I could care less about how people felt or were affected by my harsh words, and the next thing I know I'm either carefully wording my sentence, or putting my big foot in my mouth for saying something stupid. With my words sometimes getting mixed up or making incoherent sentences, I was beginning to think I had a speech disorder. Or maybe it's just my hypochondria.

Everyone was silent for a few moments until Kyle tugged on my hand again. I nodded and started to make my way to my car when Alice said something.

"I know you still hate us," she said sadly. "But please come by the house sometime soon. We all want to talk to you and apologize properly. Mom and Dad miss you too..."

I nodded. I should at least visit Carlisle and Esme. After all, they were the ones that helped me though my hard times... Or maybe it was just an excuse to see them. To see if they really missed me as much as I missed them. I didn't want to admit that I did, but what was the point in hiding your feelings from yourself? I couldn't even convince myself that I was okay. I knew I wasn't. After... the rape... I should've been thrown into therapy. I probably would've been progressing by now, or even as if it never happened. But this was Charlie I was living with. He was a father who was afraid of emotions and tears. He hated talking about feelings, and I could tell they made him uncomfortable. With Renée, on the other hand, there would've been unwanted attention, and unnecessary talks and doctor visits. I was always the parent in our relationship, but she was always protective.

I drove quickly. Hardly being able to contain my happiness. I felt like I haven't talk to my parents in ages, and just thinking of them made me miss them. I even couldn't recall the last time I had spoken to Renée. They would be so proud that I had made the team! Renée, because she had always wanted me to do something normal for my age and spontaneous for once, and Charlie would just be glad I was acting like a teenager.

"What are you smiling about?" Kyle asked once we pulled up to my house. " You're not actually buying their crap, are you?"

Is shrugged my shoulders, my smile never disappearing. I wasn't thinking about the Cullens right now and I wasn't trying to. I had enough worrying over them and enough drama, now I just wanted to spend a little time with my family. I wonder if I could get Renée to come down to Forks for the weekend.

As I expected, Renée was ecstatic and Charlie was smiling the biggest smile I'd seen in awhile. While the Cullens were on the back burner for now, I thought only once of Alice's request to come see them. I missed our shopping sprees, and sleepovers where I would later just fall asleep in Edward's arms even though we told Charlie that the boys wouldn't be there. I laughed out loud at that... I missed my best friend, my boyfriend... and my family.

So what do you think? Should she forgive Alice?