So, for anyone following this story, you would know that I decided to stop writing, since I was bored with the story. Well, we all have the wonderful ElianLuna to thank for this whole chapter. Not only did she give me the idea (and therefore the encouragement) to write this chapter, but she also said nice things to stroke my delicate author's ego, and beta'd it for me as well. So everyone go say think you to her and her awesomeness, and check out her fanfics while you're there, because she's amazing.

Um, also, I write Dean's voice as it would sound. It's not because I'm stupid and can't spell. Just throwing that out there. Oh, and..enjoy.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Castiel was a person who could appreciate structure. In fact, he loved it. Having routines and plans made him feel safe and secure. To be told what he needed to do was good for him. He would never think of rebelling against a plan, like Lucifer did, or grumbling and complaining, like Gabriel. He took what he was supposed to do and held it close to him, like a security blanket. It gave him a purpose- a meaning even, and that was what he needed.

The thing about Anna was that she was a variable he never anticipated. He never even thought to anticipate her, or make a plan B. So when she barged in on his life and asked him to do things, he couldn't do anything but follow along, stunned, and hope to return to the ways of his fixed course soon.

He found that Dean had the same quality.

-x-x-x-x-x-

His father told him to stay home and study, because his tutor was supposed to check his lessons the next day. This plan, of course, was ruined by Anna, who demanded his accompaniment to town. She wanted to buy a new dress, and according to her he had to come along- it was the only way she could go.

He didn't argue, just put on presentable clothes (white shirt, black vest, black pants) and followed behind her as she walked. She was chattering away, talking about how the newest fashions were in from France, and how much she'd been looking forward to them reaching their town. He nodded when it seemed appropriate, trying to keep up, but ending up lost anyways.

She turned an eye on him, and frowned. "Are you paying attention, Castiel?"

"Yes, of course, Anna." He answered, trying to be convincing. She sighed, rolling her eyes, but kept walking.

"So have you seen any more of your new cowboy friend?" She asked, in a voice he recognised as her 'gossip voice'.

He paused, his heart skipping a beat at the simple mention of Dean. Of course, there were also the images of the cowboy that his brain helpfully supplied him with to speed his pulse. Castiel raised a hand to his chest, breathing slowly, trying to calm his heart down. He really couldn't deal with this happening every time he thought of Dean. It was stupid. He wasn't attracted to Dean. That wasn't how it worked. He couldn't be- Dean was a man, one who was not only unattainable, but also not allowed. His father would be furious if he even thought to pursue some sort of romantic relationship with the cowboy.

So Dean could take his freckles, his beautiful green eyes, his perfect masculine features and his soft-looking hair and leave town, for all Castiel cared. Which wasn't a true statement at all, of course, because the thought of Dean leaving made his heart ache a little, but he had to tell himselfthat it would be better for him if he did.

He shook his head, lowering his hand and schooling his features, which were stormy at best. She noticed it, though, because she's Anna and she noticed everything.

"Maybe we'll see him in town today, Cassy. Don't worry about it." She said, smiling and ruffling his hair.

"Father says I am not allowed to talk to Dean anymore. He said that Dean is a bad influence." He answered, pushing her hand away from his head.

"Who cares what Dad says, Castiel? You should do whatever makes you happy." She said, then stopped, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the side as a group of men on horses went past them.

"Listen Cassy. I know you like to listen to everything Dad says, and that's great and all, but you need to be your own person. If you want to talk to Cowboy Bar Guy, then do it. I promise not to tell. You need a friend." She smiled a little, lifting her eyebrows, and he nodded, looking down. Content, she linked their arms together and continued walking.

-x-x-x-x-x-

"Castiel, what do you think of this one?" Anna asked, holding a dress in front of herself and twirling around. Castiel glanced up, then shrugged. Dress shopping was something he may never understand.

"It is just like the other eight pink ones you showed me, Anna." He answered, and she glared at him.

"This one is peach Cassy. It's a different color entirely." She huffed and went back to looking.

"I am going to go out and get some air, Anna. Maybe visit my tutor and see if he has any new books. I will be back in a few hours, okay?" He said, and Anna poked her head out from behind all the racks of dresses and eyed him suspiciously.

"You won't abandon me again, will you?" She asked, and he shook his head, smiling faintly. "Fine, fine. Go and have fun. See you in a few hours."

The fresh, dress-free air was a blessing, indeed. He loved his sister, got along with her better than any of their other siblings, and he would follow her anywhere- but spending time shopping with her was one thing he dreaded more than anything.

Looking around, he set a course for his tutor's house, hoping that the man had new books. He enjoyed good books, and was thankful that his tutor got such a frequent shipment of them to keep up with Castiel's hunger for reading. The words fascinated him, and the stories kept him enthralled. Getting a new book was the best possible feeling in the world.

His excitement is interrupted, though, when his eyes drift over and catch those of Dean Winchester. His heart seemed to migrate and find its new home in his throat as he stared, unable to look away. A smile stretched slowly across Dean's face, and Castiel focused his eyes on the ground, walking quicker towards his tutor's house pretending he hadn't seen the cowboy. He couldn't talk to Dean- couldn't even afford to pay him any attention. His dad told him specifically not to associate with Dean, and he wouldn't.

He heard a voice cry out his name behind him, and he continued walking, determined to pretend Dean didn't exist. If he ignored Dean, he would go away. It was simple logic.

Logic that was quickly defeated as a large hand landed on his shoulder, holding him back. He quickly jerked his shoulder out of Dean's grip, walking as if nothing happened.

"Cas! What's wrong with you? Why're you actin' like I'm not here?" Dean asked, his voice making Castiel's skin prickle.

Castiel continued walking as if Dean wasn't there, his tutor's street in view. Behind him, Dean made a frustrated noise and grabbed at his wrist, which Castiel was quick to jerk out of Dean's grip.

"Dammit, Cas! What is it? I haven't seen you in a coupl'a weeks, and you're ignorin' me? Come on!" Dean sounded upset, and that tugged at something in Castiel's chest.

"Dean, I am not allowed to talk to you. You are a bad influence." Castiel answered, and Dean snorted. Castiel silently cursed himself for giving into Dean, but quickly resolved that talking to him couldn't do much damage (right?).

"An' who told'ya that, Cas? I'm a great influence! I'm real' nice, and I work really hard, and I always treat a lady right!" Dean said, and looked over at Castiel with a giant grin on his face. Castiel fought back his own smile and shook his head.

"Dean, I do not have time to talk to you. I have things to do. Go and finish whatever task you came into town to accomplish." He waved Dean off, then stopped at the road he knew was his tutors, turning to look at Dean. The cowboy frowned, eyebrows knitted.

"I think I'm just gonna stick with you, Cas. I don't have much'ta do anyways." Dean said, huffing, and followed Castiel as he walked towards his tutor's house.

"Dean, you cannot come with me. You should leave." He answered, then stopped, pointing to the house that belonged to his tutor. "I am going to go into this house. When I come back out, I want you to be gone."

"And if I'm not?" Dean asked stubbornly, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I suppose we will figure that out if we come to that." Castiel responded.

They came upon the quaint house that belonged to the man who tutored Castiel, and he knocked on the door, hoping Dean would leave as soon as he stepped inside.

"You know, Cas, I don't really wanna leave you alone. You're an interestin' little fella, y'know? I travel a lot, but I've never met someone just like you." Dean said, and Castiel felt his pulse rise once again, because how could Dean say something like that to him? How could Dean be totally okay with doing what he was doing to Castiel? It really wasn't fair. In fact, it probably wasn't legal, and Castiel could probably talk to his dad about this, or in the least to one of his brothers-

The door in front of him opened, and his tutor stood there, combed over black hair, stomach bulge, creepy mustache, and all.

"Come in, Mister Novak." The man said, and Castiel spared once glance at Dean before stepping inside, half hoping Dean wouldn't be there when he left but also half praying that he would be.

-x-x-x-x-x-

When he left his tutor's, he had four new books, plus a whole new lesson to study, and a message to give to his father. He was trying to juggle all these things when he came across Dean again, who was standing at the end of the street, waiting.

"Need some help, Cas?" He asked, smiling. Castiel managed a glare over his stack of books.

"No, Dean, I do not need any help from you. Why are you not gone?" Instead of answering his question, Dean grabbed three books off of Castiel's pile, ignoring his protests.

"I told you to leave. I still willnot be your friend." Castiel said, and Dean shrugged in response, walking alongside him.

"I don't care if you're not my friend, Cas. I'm gonna be your friend, though." Castiel sighed, clenching his jaw and deciding to ignore Dean again. Town was only a little while away- all he'd have to do was ignore Dean until he found Anna. Easy enough.

Except of course there was Dean walking beside him, talking his ear off. It seemed there wasn't even a need for him to talk, as long as Dean talked to him. That was bothersome.

He turned, facing Dean, cutting the cowboy off in the middle of a sentence.

"Dean, I am politely asking you to stop talking to me." Castiel told him, but this just made Dean laugh.

"Not gonna happen, Cas. Sorry." He replied.

"This is not a laughing matter, Dean. My father will be very disappointed if he knows I have been talking to you."

Dean rolled his eyes, huffing a little. "I don't much care 'bout what your dad wants, Cas. Y'know, it's okay to break the rules every once and a while. Rebellion is good for the soul."

"You do not understand, Dean." Castiel responds, because Dean doesn't- not really. Castiel's father has been a guiding force for himhis whole life. Someone who would tell him what to do and when to do it. His father made him into the person he was. He couldn't simply ignore his orders. It didn't work that way, no matter what his siblings or Dean said.

"Explain it to me, then. Explain to me how it is." Dean said, his voice taking on an angry tone that made Castiel bristle as well. It wasn't fair that Dean was mad at him, because this wasn't his fault.

"I do not need to associate with people that might be bad for me, Dean! And you are bad for me!" Castiel knew his own voice was sounding angry, raising in volume, which would only spur a fight on. He had experience, he saw how his brothers' arguments escalated. He tried to calm down, but it was difficult, with Dean just standing there, and his hormones doing strange things, and his heart speeding. He couldn't deal with this.

"How am I bad for you? That doesn't even make sense, Cas! I haven't done anything to make you think that!"

"I will not argue with you Dean. It is stupid to rebel against rules put down for my own safety."

Dean makes a scoffing sound, rolling his eyes. "Oh, so now I'm unsafe too? Whatever, Cas. You have fun with that bullshit."

"Castiel! Who's that?" Both men turned towards the source of the voice, which happened to be Anna. Castiel sighed, because he definitely didn't want Anna to meet Dean. He knew it wouldn't go well for him. Before he could say anything, though, Dean stepped forwards, holding out his hand to Anna.

"Howdy, ma'am. My name is Dean Winchester. It's nice to meetcha." Dean said, and Anna took his hand, shaking it and smiling sweetly.

"How do you know my little brother, Dean?" She asked, and Castiel stepped between them, grabbing Anna's shoulder and trying to steer her away from Dean.

"It is not of import, Anna. We should go." He said, but she resisted him, giving him a glare that could probably kill those weaker of spirit than he was.

"Cassy, don't be rude! I want to know why you two were arguing!"

Castiel leaned over, saying under his breath, "This is the man from the bar, Anna."

She smiled gleefully grabbing Castiel's arm tightly.

"You know what I think? We should all go and drink!" She said, turning and raising an eyebrow at Dean. The cowboy smiled as well, laughing.

"You, ma'am, are a woman that's after my own heart."

-x-x-x-x-x-

Castiel wished he wasn't so helpless against his Anna's wishes. He could hardly stand sitting at the bar with his sister and Dean, listening to them talk and laugh together, getting along better than Castiel had ever gotten along with either of them. He looked over at them, and felt something in his chest twinge.

He knew it was selfish, wishing Anna and Dean hadn't met. It wasn't really rational, either. He had been pushing Dean away, so it wasn't fair that he wanted to keep Dean to himself.

That didn't stop him from wishing, though.

"Hey, Cassy, remember that time Gabe hit Michael in the back of the head with a baseball, and Mike threw that massive tantrum?" Anna asked him, giggling, and Castiel nodded. This seemed to be all the input Anna needed from him, because they go on talking, not paying another bit of attention to him.

He looked at Dean, eyes training on the flash of teeth as he smiled, or the bob of his adam's apple as he drank and laughed. From an objective standpoint, Castiel thought Dean was a very handsome man. He thought that many women would be attracted to someone like Dean, just as Anna was.

From a subjective standpoint, though, he knew Dean was handsome. He knew that he, even, was attracted to him. He also knew that admitting that attraction to someone else was something he could never do. He decided, then, in that bar, watching Dean laugh and smile and flirt with his sister, that he would hold whatever he felt for Dean close to himself and never, ever act on it.

That being said, he still hated watching Anna and Dean together. He felt the tendrils of jealousy wrapping themselves around his heart, and he couldn't help it. To know he wanted who he wanted, and to know that person wanted someone else hurt.

He curled a hand around the edge of his seat, their laughter like nails pounding into his heart.

He couldn't do this.

"I have to go." He said loudly, getting up and practically running out the door.

The cold night air hit him in the face, and he didn't stop walking until he was home.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Dean watched as Castiel left, getting up from his seat, ready to follow him out. Before he could go, though, Anna's hand came to rest on his shoulder, holding him back. He looked at her, frowning.

"What's wrong with Cas?" He asked, and Anna sighed, shaking her head.

"Cassy is very conflicted about you, Dean. He doesn't know what to do." She answered. Dean didn't understand, not really, because what was there to be conflicted about when it came to him?

Before he could ask her, she held up a hand. "Let me tell you about my little brother, Dean. Maybe then you'll understand." Dean nodded and sat back down.

"We have four older siblings, Castiel and I. All of them are boys, and all of them are wonderful in their own ways. But as our brothers grew, they all failed our father in one way or another. Michael was too prideful, Lucifer was too rebellious, Raphael too violent, and Gabriel wasn't serious enough. None of them lived up to what our father wanted out of his son. He wanted a smart, level-headed child who wasn't corrupted by other people, or his own downfalls. When I was born, I was useless, of course. I'm a girl- I can't do much. So he tried once more, and he got Castiel."

"Cassy was always...special to our father. Dad held him closest, trying to keep the rest of us away from him. Our father payed for tutors to make him smarter, and gave him the harshest punishments any of us ever had. So Castiel was to be the obedient, perfect son our father wanted. That being said, it should be obvious that Cassy hasn't had very many friends. Our father wouldn't let him talk to people that came through town, and Castiel never really wanted to. He preferred to stay away from other people. It was only recently that I even got him to come out and about with me. "

"Meeting you must have really shocked him, Dean. He doesn't usually make friends. In fact, I'm surprised he even talked to you at all. Normally he ignores anyone who tries to get his attention."

"He's doin' an awful good job of ignorin' me now." Dean interrupted, to which Anna rolled her eyes.

"That's not his fault, Dean. Our father is very protective of Cassy. He told him to avoid you. Our dad think cowboys are mostly bad, and that it's best to avoid them. Personally, I think it's ridiculous, but Castiel would listen to anything our dad told him. You just have to prove that you're not bad. Make him think our dad's wrong." She said, smiling and resting a hand on his arm.

"How do I do that?" Dean asked, confused once again.

"That's something you've got to figure out for yourself."