Author's Note: I'm going to try and answer every review I can in the following chapters that come. I'm...still not quite sure about this chapter. Bah. You can just see for yourself. LOL.

Enderman117 (Guest): And you shall have more. ;D

Latham: Well if you think about it, every machine in Aperture is terrified of birds. Wheatley, Atlas, P-Body... I see what you're saying though.

goatcancer: Shit dude, don't do that. LOL.

ultima-owner: Aperture, remember?

BlackFireBird: Oh! Well thank you! ^.^

~~0~~

16

"You're tilting it."

"I'm not tilting it! It looks fine!"

"I possess the means for proper calculations and measurements and I say you're tilting it."

Chell had spent a good fifteen minutes attempting to hang up a framed photo of kittens at play in her room - and GLaDOS had spent a good fifteen minutes trying to correct her in the proper means of hanging it. She knew that the supercomputer possessed those specific means, but she didn't see what the big deal was. Eventually, the two women backed away from the portrait and tilted their heads in unison like a pair of curious cats, studying it hanging there. Visually, it looked fine without a flaw.

"Do I even want to know why you could possibly want a picture of of infant felines hanging in this room?" GLaDOS quipped.

"Probably not." Chell said, chuckling.

"I swear in the name of Science, if you bring up one more visually ungodly thing up here from Old Aperture, I'm tossing it into the Incinerator..."

The AI's sharp, scrutinizing gaze surveyed the sight of Chell's lair; she had accumulated several objects that could have never been of use to anyone, but where obviously of interest to the lunatic. These things involved various ungodly objects from a time long since passed. Oh my God, it looked like the entire Woodstock Music and Art Fair had exploded in this room. She was definitely going to have to discuss her testing associate's lack of order and cleanliness. Among other things.

Chell smiled broadly at her. "Then why don't you come down with me and decide for yourself?"

"What?!" GLaDOS exclaimed. The thought of going down there, again, made her internal components freeze up.

"Sure. I mean, it might be fun."

"I am NOT going to get filthy in those testing shafts! And I refuse to allow that moron out of my sight."

"Then let's bring the cores with us."

"Give me a good reason why I should even consider this."

Actually, Chell did have a good reason now that she thought about it. She remembered the other testing shaft where she had felt that strange sensation of being watched. She held up a finger at the AI and moved across the room to look for that map she had found in the main lobby of the old facility below. She held it out to GLaDOS and opened it.

"I found this map in the old lobby we were in when Wheatley...well, you know..." Chell explained, much to the AI's dismay. "It shows on here that there isn't nine testing shafts like we thought. There's eleven. That's where I found the humanoid robotics lab."

GLaDOS snorted and looked magnificently bored. "That's impossible. If there were eleven testing shafts, I would have known about it."

"Impossible?" Chell pointed out. "The place was built before you were."

GLaDOS pursed her lips thoughtfully as she considered the human's words. She was curious to see for herself why there were eleven testing shafts when she KNEW that there were only nine. Maybe her test subject was simply looking for an excuse to drag her off somewhere to be exposed to horrible trace amounts of excessive boredom. She didn't see the reason for going down there, but the possibility did nag away at her central processor just a little bit. Maybe it was worth looking into.

"Fine." GLaDOS snapped, turning. "Let it never be said that I don't indulge in your ridiculous assumptions."

Once the cores were gathered, Rick let out a glorious whoop at the concept of "adventuring" again below. GLaDOS kept Atlas and P-Body on watch above, though with much reluctance. She could trust them much more than the thought of the corrupted cores, her little menace or that moron running about in her absence.

The group ventured below to the abandoned mines of Old Aperture. Chell led the way toward the eleventh testing shaft with GLaDOS and the others lingering behind her while she explained having that strange feeling of being watched below.

Rick looked up at GLaDOS, noticing the mild conflict in her yellow gaze. She looked like she was considering something about the human - at least, that's what HE got the gist of anyway. He was silent for a moment, his eye wandering from her to Chell's back. He had a thought and chuckled softly.

"Try talking to her..." he whispered.

"What?" GLaDOS had snapped out of her reverie and glared down at him.

Rick's optic tilted in a manner that looked like he was smiling. "Say something humans wanna hear, boss lady." he offered. "They like it when you're nice to them. This way, they're willing to meet you halfway whenever you want something. A little give and take, know what I'm saying?"

The idea was tempting, especially if satisfying her testing parameters was on the line. "What do I say to the fatty?" GLaDOS whispered back with irritation.

"Anything nice."

Wheatley rolled his eyes with a murmur of disgust, but remained silent.

GLaDOS made a throat-clearing sound before addressing Chell ahead of the group. "I should offer my congratulations, lunatic," she told her, "You are looking less hideous than I would have expected from a human. Well done on your efforts considering the circumstances."

Rick slapped himself on the forehead with a groan - well, if he had one.

Chell glanced back halfway with an odd look, partially confused. "Uh...thanks?"

GLaDOS looked down at Rick for approval and the core gestured with two hands for her to continue.

"You're not...fat...at...all?" the AI tried slowly, watching Rick's gestures to see if what she was saying the right thing. "You would...be the...envy of..." She stopped, watching Rick make a gesture with his hands that looked like he was forming a circle. Naturally, she misinterpreted this completely. "...oh, beached whales!"

Chell made a face, staring at her like she'd grown a third eye out of her ass. "What the hell are you talking about?" She was distracted by trying to find the eleventh testing shaft and found GLaDOS' little words to be pretty damn strange right now. She wasn't even completely paying them any mind because that weird feeling of being watched was coming back again. However, the others hadn't seemed to take notice to this sort of feeling themselves. And even if they did, they didn't voice it.

"No, no, no!" Rick hissed at the AI. "Tell her she looks thin."

"Oh." GLaDOS immediately corrected herself and addressed the human in front of her. "You appear to be rather malnourished. This physical trait of yours must be the cause of substantial internal collapse of all your excess fat or you must surely be suffering from organic parasitic worms."

Rick processed this. "That's...better?"

Chell groaned softly and rolled her eyes. "Could you just come on?" she muttered, gesturing to the AI.

Wheatley nodded in agreement. His eyes warily scanned the dark mines for signs of trouble. "She's right. I don't like it here. Bloody creepy."

"Whoooooo!" GLaDOS made a sound light and airy like a ghost. Though it wasn't as effective given her synthesized vocal patterns.

Chell stopped at the end of the tracks that led deeper into the mines where she had been before. The others stopped and Rick squinted into the dark.

"Yeah, I remember passing this place," he said. "Pretty lady kinda looked like a spooked horse."

Chell gave him a look. "I did not."

GLaDOS started forward without so much as a single moment of hesitation. She didn't consider the fact that Chell was correct. Nope. The little menace wasn't getting any satisfaction out of that. "Well, don't get used to being right [Subject Name Here]," she quipped. "Now let's go and see just what we can find down here."

"Let's find space!" Space Core cried, running into the darkness with his hands in the air.

"Hey! Get back here, mate!" Wheatley yelled, chasing after him.

"Fact: Bodies in motion tend to STAY in motion." Fact Core said, giving chase.

Rick rolled his optic with a grumble when the rest of them walked slowly behind the cores. "One of these days, I'm gonna put my big ass foot - " He paused once so that he raised his spindly leg into the air and pointed at his foot for emphasis, " - into that idiot's big ass." Then, he shrugged. "Well, if he had one, that is. You ladies get the idea."

GLaDOS sighed. "I'm starting to think giving them legs was a bad idea." she quipped, glancing at Chell.

Rick lingered behind them and pushed Chell a bit so that she knocked into GLaDOS. They grunted and he chuckled, moving ahead. "Sorry. That was mighty rude of me. I'll go on ahead and see what those idiots are doing." he told them. "I'll leave you two alone."

The way he had said that made Chell suspect something was up, but she didn't say anything about it. Instead, she took a quiet moment to look around the enormous caverns, studying the dampened rocks, shimmering colors that bounced off from the dim lights of GLaDOS' eyes and she quickly retrieved her flashlight from her jumpsuit so that she could see better. It wasn't a big help, but at least it was much more efficient than yellow optic light from the AI walking beside her.

"So where do you think these tracks go?" Chell asked.

"Possibly to the outside." GLaDOS replied. "During the earlier stages of the facility's development, this tunnel was probably used to transport construction materials in and out of the mines."

Chell murmured with agreement, nodding her head once. That made sense.

There was an extensive moment of awkward silence. Chell made a few breathing sounds that led to irritating popping noises. GLaDOS exhaled impatiently and gave her an annoyed stare. "Mind not doing that?"

"Sorry."

They were quiet again before Chell finally spoke.

"Don't you want to talk about it?" she asked, her voice somewhat hesitant.

GLaDOS frowned down at her. "Talk about what - oh. You mean...that."

"Yeah."

The AI wasn't too familiar with a sensation of discomfort, but the way Chell looked at her brought a certain feeling of such through her circuits. It was as if she expected a certain response, but any one the AI would give would surely be destined to fail. So she attempted to pacify the little menace. GLaDOS didn't expect her voice to come out the way it did - filled with uncertainty and a weakness she hated, but couldn't prevent. How pathetic! She wasn't a human school girl shying away from an intimate touch, for God's sake.

"It was nice..." she said, quietly. "It felt...quite good to do that."

Chell smiled hopefully. "Even if it was from me?"

GLaDOS rolled her eyes. "Does your poor posture and fatty deposits affect your hearing? I said it did."

Chell seemed quite satisfied with that response, much to the AI's irritation. "Nope. That was good."

"...You're hopeless."

There was a loud crashing sound in the distance - like metal colliding with metal that drew the attention of the two women. They quickly rushed in the direction of the sound, only to find Space Core lying on his "back" in a daze. The others were crowded around him and there was a towering metal wall and a dent where the core had run directly into it.

"What happened?" Chell exclaimed.

"The damn fool was running and ran right into it!" Rick said, laughing heartily. He leaned down to Space Core, who sparked a little from the collision. "Are you okay, little buddy?"

Space Core chirped happily. "Space! Space - hurts space - space hurts!"

Chell grimaced and approached the towering steel wall that seemed to go on forever into the mine roof. GLaDOS joined her and ran her hand across its surface. "Well congratulations. You've found a great big scary wall." Her voice oozed with playful mockery. "How does it feel to confront your terrifying nemesis, Mr. Metal Door?"

The human gave her a look. "Ha-ha, I forgot how to laugh..." she grumbled.

GLaDOS just smirked before she studied the vast wall before them. "This appears to be where they sealed off the exit after the facility had been complete," she observed. "It's just a wall. There would be no point in wasting valuable energy reserves attempting to understand what it is. Let's go back."

Chell sighed and considered that GLaDOS was probably right. It must have just been a bad case of nerves.

They wandered back the way that they had come with the cores chatting the entire time.

Of course, neither one of them saw the very top of the wall where the metal had been violently peeled away, shredded by something sharp.

O

"Oh wow!"

GLaDOS wasn't as nearly impressed with the room as Chell was.

It was filled with old gaming machines from forgotten times. For the life of her, she couldn't imagine what these things were doing in Aperture. Chell seemed eager enough to explore it though and because of her delight, the AI couldn't resist her curiosity. After all, anything that captured the interest in her test subject was worth studying in case she found "useful data" for later.

"Ooh! GLaDOS, come here!"

The AI was in the middle of studying a poster of a yellow sphere eating crudely drawn ghosts when Chell called her from across the room. She rolled her eyes with a grumble and walked up to the human. Chell was standing over a gaming machine with a broad grin on her face. Overall, the machine was dusty and hardly looked to be useful, but somehow she had managed to switch it on and dug out the coin slot machine for quarters. GLaDOS made a face and leaned to one side, reading the title.

"Street Fighter X-L'?" she read.

"Yeah! This used to be my favorite!" Chell said, grinning. "You just put a quarter in and grab these sticks."

GLaDOS made a face, pointing at the joysticks. "You touch those?"

"Yeah. You touch those and you press these buttons here...and, uh...And then you just go."

GLaDOS watched her as she cycled through a few game fighters. She stopped at one with messy brown hair and a tattered suit and an amused smile lit her lips at the sight. "It looks like Cave Johnson's cousin from New Jersey." she remarked.

Chell laughed. "Wanna try?"

"What? Absolutely not. I will not resort to engaging in such childish games!"

"I bet you just can't." Chell teased.

Oh. That devious little monster.

"Move over tubby." GLaDOS snapped, pushing Chell to the side so that she could grip one of the joysticks and position her hands over her buttons.

As it turned out, GLaDOS was amazingly skilled for someone who never played a video game in her life. She had defeated Chell numerous times in under ten minutes. The AI didn't the point in such an inane victory, but Chell was actually quite happy.

"You enjoy the defeat?" GLaDOS queried skeptically.

Chell laughed. "It's just a game." she said. "Come on. Give me five."

She held her hand up and GLaDOS stared up at it with confusion. "What am I supposed to do with that?"

"Five."

"Five?"

"Yeah. High five."

When GLaDOS didn't move, Chell took her hand and slapped it against hers in demonstration. GLaDOS finally got it and rolled her eyes. "Lunatic."

Upon returning to the upper facility, GLaDOS had made it clear that Chell's room required organizing. The human agreed to this only if she could play music. GLaDOS had exceptions to that as well and would not allow her audio sensors to be subject to what humans considered to be music, only to have it resemble a "chorus of dying rats drowning in acid". Chell went through various CD's, cassettes and vinyl records that she had found and the AI would give simple responses while she went through some boxes as well.

"What about Metallica?"

"No."

"Guns N' Roses."

"No - Wait, what year?"

Chell turned the vinyl over. "Um...1987."

"...Fine."

Chell smiled and set it in the "keep it" pile. She resumed her search.

"Asia?"

"Fine."

"The Batman soundtrack."

"Definitely not."

Chell giggled, as if she had expected that response from her. She picked up a tape, studying the crude label. "Uh...Fleetwood Mac?"

"No."

"Dire Straits?"

"No."

"Def Leppard?"

"No."

"Depeche Mode?"

"Yes."

"Nazareth?"

"Mmm...no."

"Pantera."

"No."

"Queen?"

"...Fine. But only because their 1978 song 'Fat Bottom Girls' is surprisingly droll. It reminds me of you."

Chell tossed a rolled up ball of paper at the AI's head from one of the boxes. It rebounded and landed in her lap and GLaDOS glared at her. "What if that had been important?" she snapped, unraveling the wad of paper. She stared down at it and her eyes widened in amazement. "I don't believe it..."

Chell caught the mystified tone and frowned curiously. "What is it?"

GLaDOS couldn't believe her luck. She held up the picture to the human and Chell noticed it was a crude, child-like drawing of the AI when she had a massive chassis body, surrounded by scientists who seemed to be lavishing love on her. Chell didn't understand the reasoning behind the AI's shock and leaned back.

"Huh. I guess a kid had a bit of a liking to you or something." she remarked.

GLaDOS shook her head. "This...was yours."

To prove it, she turned the picture around, revealing Chell's name written in pencil on the back, along with various other writings as well. She didn't bother looking at those just yet as she couldn't fathom the idea that she would make something involving the AI in her childhood. Chell blinked slowly, stunned by the sight. She reached out and took the picture from GLaDOS' hands, studying it for the longest time. She had no memory of ever drawing something like this before.

"Wait...I drew this?" Chell gasped.

"I suppose you did."

Chell turned the picture back around to read the writing out loud. "'I drew Miss GLaDOS today. I got to see her too. She's sad because the humans don't like her. She doesn't like them either. So now, they love her'." she read. Chell glanced up at the AI, who seemed a bit shaken by that. "Does that mean anything to you? I don't remember writing this."

"No...you wouldn't remember." GLaDOS said, resuming a professional voice, though there was some strain behind it. "Why? Because it was Aperture who made you forget ever meeting me. That was the memories were? Somehow that virus that had afflicted me allowed me to witness the forgotten memories in my system. I don't understand how or why, but we were never supposed to remember meeting each other. That drawing alone is surely the proof that you require."

Chell squinted at the drawing and then looked back at the supercomputer with confusion. "But why would they have to do that?"

"They were threatened by possibility, that's why," GLaDOS pointed out. "We both possessed a fixation on the idea of escaping their control. With a tenacious human like yourself, they constantly tested you to see what you were capable of. They knew that if you were ever made a test subject full time, you'd figure out a way to escape them with my help. It's why Douglas Rattman had your name placed on the top of the test subject roster. He believed you could escape from me. This was all after our mind wipe, of course."

Chell still looked totally thrown by this new knowledge. GLaDOS gleefully chuckled and leaned back. "Well then. I suppose killing them worked out for all of us, didn't it?"

O

After having Orange and Blue test for a little while, GLaDOS felt that familiar, unfortunate itch through her systems. However, it was an itch that didn't simply go away with her androids testing. Not since Chell had done so well - she'd never tell her that, though - during their latest "test" had she felt unfulfilled with any other normal testing measures. Well, that was rather inconvenient. She couldn't very well end the test right in the middle of it. But then again, this was the perfect opportunity to "get back at her little human".

Oh, but what to do?

It had to be particularly special for her. Not that the little menace deserved anything special per se, but it would make their next test rather interesting.

GLaDOS called Orange and Blue back to the reassembly machines before going to work on research, running delicious plans through her head.