Chapter 24 – I Don't Want To Be Like Him

Sighing, Sasuke pulled out his phone as Mebuki and Tsunade left the waiting room. It was only fair that he gave the former some time alone with her own daughter and part of him… Part of him was wary of seeing Sakura. According to the doctor, she was awake now though wasn't able to talk due to the pain of her throat.

He'd failed her. It was plain and simple. Instead of protecting her like he should have done, Sasuke had instead left her with that man and returned to find her–

Those thoughts were shut down as he found the name of the person he needed to contact.

It only rang twice.

"Hello?"

Even on the phone, she sounded anxious. "I just called to tell you Sakura's awake, but will have to stay here for a couple of days."

There was a sigh of relief. "Thank you for letting me know, Sasuke-kun. Is there anything Sakura-san needs?"

He thought about it and remembering what she had told him last night, when he had made a move, the tips of Sasuke's ears began to burn. Would the hospital provide her with those things? Or did she have to get her own? Did Mebuki know and had she anything Sakura could use?

"Sasuke-kun?"

Sasuke took a deep breath. "Aside from the obvious, Sakura also needs tampons, Hinata."

Silence.

It dragged on for quite a while, leading him to believe that Hinata had possibly fainted, that his mentioning of Sakura's menstrual cycle was too much for her. Thankfully, she replied moments later.

"O-Okay. I'll try to be there as soon as possible."

"Do you know where to find her things?"

"Yes. Gaara-kun will have Sakura's keys to the apartment for now, since he is temporarily staying there. If I can't find something, I will just purchase some for her on the way to the hospital. I can remember what type she needs."

Girls had a type of tampon they needed? Sasuke's face threatened to scrunch up. And Hinata knew Sakura's type? Why? Did girls talk about stuff like that? There had been hesitancy in Sakura's eyes when she told him she was on her period, but other than that, she'd been comfortable. Maybe periods just didn't bother either of them? Or maybe there'd been circumstances before when one of them needed supplies, and the other had spares or purchased some for them? Sasuke slapped down that train of thought. It wasn't something he wanted or needed to think about.

"How does she seem?"

Not for the first time, Sasuke sighed and glanced at the door. It had been left open. "I haven't seen her yet. Tsunade said that she can't talk for a few days due to…"

When he trailed off, he heard Hinata's shaky breathing on the other line. It sounded like she was crying. "Please tell her that I'm thinking of her and I'll be there as soon as possible. Would you like me to inform the others?"

"Yes. But you need to rest, too," he argued quietly, though wishing Hinata would be there for Sakura. His girlfriend would need her friends around her. "Neji–"

"I-I don't care about any orders," came her stuttered reply, like she was forcing those words out. "Not from my doctor or my family, Sasuke-kun. Sakura-san is very dear to me."

Sasuke didn't bother to argue with her. Even though he knew how forceful Hyuuga Hiashi could be, due to the man's clashes with his own father, it would mean a lot for Sakura to have Hinata there.

"I'm sure she's anxious to see how you are."

"I'll be there soon."

And then she hung up, completely surprising Sasuke.

Like back in the apartment, her voice had been serious and her words had been blunt and to the point. No doubt it was because he mentioned Sakura could be feeling anxious. Sakura had once told him that Hinata was very protective of her friends and would do anything to ease their pain or worry. Maybe anxious had been the wrong word to use?

He shoved the phone back into his pocket after switching it off. Itachi had already told him that he would tell their parents about what happened, so Sasuke was expecting them to come bursting into the hospital soon. No doubt his mother would be the one waving pools of anger and hatred much more strongly than his father and not only because her youngest son had been in danger. It would be for Sakura, especially if Itachi told them what had been done to her.

Taking a deep breath, he left the waiting room and followed the directions Tsunade had given him, going straight to the ward Sakura was on.

And when he arrived onto the ward, Sasuke had to swallow back his distaste. They'd placed her with a load of other people instead of giving Sakura her own private room. Why? Sure, it cost more, but…

The colour of her hair caught his eyes and all thoughts evaporated.

Sasuke bit the inside of his cheek harshly at the sight of her. Sakura was laying back on the hospital bed, listening to what her mother was saying to her. It hurt him seeing her like that. So pale and fragile. She had never looked more breakable than she did at that moment and it hurt him. His girlfriend was not a weak woman. She was not fragile. You were more likely to be crushed by her than it being the other way around, even if you were twice the size of her (considering how dainty she was, pretty much everyone was bigger than her).

The guilt that had been swirling in his chest felt like it exploded to new heights and he had an awful urge to turn around and leave.

But no.

He would not run.

Not when Sakura needed him.

He strode forward without focusing on anyone or anything and as soon as there was movement out of the corner of her eye, he saw Sakura's eyes snap to his, widening a fraction before softening. The look of relief on her face was so strong that it stung him. Why had she been worried about him? She was the one laying in a hospital bed!

Instead of coming to a stop at the end of her bed, Sasuke walked over to her and leaned down, kissing the top of her head. And then her cheek. The other cheek. Her nose. Her forehead. Her chin. Her lips. He didn't stop until every inch of her beautiful, beautiful face had been kissed.

When he pulled away, she smiled up at him tiredly. "Hey–"

"No talking, Sakura," her mother warned her, making Sasuke's cheeks burn when he remembered belatedly that she was sat there. Of course he'd seen her before making his way over to Sakura, but it was like everything else faded away the second those stunning apple green eyes met his. "Remember what Tsunade-sama said."

She looked reluctant while very faintly nodding at Mebuki's warning, making Sasuke smile. His girlfriend had always been so stubborn.

"You're not in any pain, are you?" asked Sasuke quietly, only barely leaning back so that he wasn't crowding her.

All she could do was smile sadly at him and he cursed himself. Of course. She wouldn't be able to properly shake her head or anything with that neck brace on. Why was she even wearing one? Surely Kizashi's attack on her hadn't been that strong? Had he caused damage to her spine?

"It's–"

"Sakura," Mebuki's voice was sharp, serious. "Stop talking." Then, she sighed, looking up at Sasuke. "Tsunade-sama said that it looks worse than it actually is. It's all just a precaution until all of the results return."

Relief almost overwhelmed him.

Looking behind himself for a second, Sasuke sat down in a chair and took Sakura's left hand. It was difficult blocking out the moaning and groaning of the other patients, who were suffering just as much. Perhaps he should have a word with his father, especially if Sakura would be staying in the hospital for a couple of days. She needed her sleep and with the racket coming from the others, he knew that she wouldn't get much of it.

"Hinata will be coming by later with some of your things." Sakura's eyes widened at his words and he knew what was bothering her. "She's fine. Broken wrist and a concussion, but they released her as soon as she was treated."

Mebuki gasped at his words, paling horribly and raising a shaking hand to her mouth. "Hinata-chan's wrist…?"

Sasuke shut his eyes, trying to ignore her horrified expression. He knew that the look on his own face mirrored Sakura's too. That crack… It was still playing in his mind. Over and over again. It was such a sickening sound and then her cry of pain… He opened his eyes again, but they didn't move from Sakura's bed. "Kizashi snapped it when she fought back."

Realising that her pain was adding to Sakura's, Mebuki quickly stood up and excused herself, dashing out of the ward.

In her absence, Sasuke tightened his hold on Sakura's hand, his thumb stroking her knuckles. "Shisui's going to be the one who takes your statement," he informed her, the silence bugging him for some reason. "But that won't be until you can talk again." A pause. Her eyes saddened on him when Sasuke's eyebrows mashed together. "I miss your voice," he breathed. "Sakura–"

She tugged on his hand and noticing that Sakura was wordlessly telling him to come closer, he did so, giving her a small, painful smile when she reached up for his head with her other hand. When she cupped his cheek gently, Sakura pulled his face down to hers, kissing him softly before turning Sasuke's head to the side, so that his ear was against her lips.

"I-I'm… sorry." Just as Sasuke was about to snap at her to stop talking, for her voice was so raspy and quiet that it was better not to hear it at all, Sakura continued, "I… I antagonised him. I p-pushed him and–"

"It wasn't your fault," he snarled in return, turning his head to the side to glare angrily at her. Their noses brushed due to their proximity, but it didn't bother him. It made his words more serious. "That bastard is a monster. He's–"

"Messed up," she croaked, wincing ever so slightly. "A-Anger issues… like–"

"Don't even finish that sentence. Your anger is nothing like his!" growled Sasuke, his eyes narrowing dangerously. "You–" He was pained when tears filled her eyes, making him lose all anger he felt towards her immediately. Instead, Sasuke once again kissed her, trying to take that pain away. "You're nothing like him, Sakura," he murmured quietly. "You can control yourself, unlike him."

"I love you," Sakura managed to whisper, swallowing as gently as she possibly could.

But her words seem to open some kind of dam, because tears were suddenly filling his eyes and there was raw pain written all over his features. Seeing him in such a way, the way it made her chest feel, made the pain of her neck seem so pathetic in comparison.

"You nearly died," his voice was also nothing but a whisper and Sakura was stunned when a single tear dropped onto her cheek. "I-Itachi… He had to… He had to do CPR on you a-and you–" The agony on his features increased. "You were just… You were just laying there. You weren't moving. Weren't breathing. You–"

"Shush," hushed Sakura and her hand raised, entangling itself into the back of Sasuke's hair as she brought his head down to rest on her chest. Her voice sounded even worse with his ear pressed against her chest, but he could also hear the strong beating of her heart. It soothed him. "Please… D-Don't cry." Sakura stared up at the ceiling, harshly biting her lip to try and rein in her emotions. "Crying isn't going…" She attempted to swallow again. It hurt. "Isn't going to get us anywhere."

His breathing was shaky, but he was no longer sucking in large breaths of air, which somewhat comforted her. And even though she could feel the wetness of his tears soaking through her hospital gown, she knew he was calming down.

"I'm sorry." Sasuke gritted his teeth together and his eyes squeezed shut. "I'm sorry for not protecting you."

There was no stopping her own tears as Sakura continued to lovingly stroke his hair, to stare up at the ceiling. "Not… your fault."

"I love you, too," whispered Sasuke, wanting nothing more than to hold her against him, to kiss her until they were both dizzy from lack of oxygen, but he knew that he couldn't. Not until all of Sakura's scans and test results had returned and they knew it was safe to move her neck and spine. "I love you."

Mebuki's eyes saddened as Sakura lifted the covers and climbed in, silently snuggling up to her. And, just as silently, the older woman turned around and held her daughter tightly, comfortingly.

It had been two weeks since the attack and to allow Sakura the recovery time she so clearly needed, Mebuki took time off of work whenever possible and took care of everything and anything she possibly could. Unfortunately, that did not include the statement that Uchiha Shisui and Hatake Kakashi came to collect while she was still in hospital.

They had turned up only a day after she was put in there and Mebuki had fought so hard to make them back off, to give Sakura time to recover first. However, she did not win the battle since Sakura was able to speak much more easily. Her results had come back clear, also. To give them both credit, they'd been very professional and as quick as possible, understanding that Sakura was still in pain despite being given the all clear for any permanent damage.

The thing that stayed with Mebuki the most, however, was how Sasuke had acted with Sakura. He refused to leave her side for more than five minutes at a time and tended to her every need. If Sakura needed a drink, he got her a drink. If she was hungry, then he personally fed her. If Sakura needed help to the bathroom, he was the one to walk her there.

It was heart warming and made Mebuki so very happy for her daughter.

"Another nightmare?"

Shakily, Sakura nodded.

She sighed in response. The nightmares hadn't started until Sakura left the hospital, until Sasuke no longer stayed with her for pretty much every minute of every day. He had such a calming effect on Sakura and was able to soothe her worries with just a simple gesture, such as holding her hand or kissing her forehead. It hurt Mebuki that she couldn't comfort her own daughter.

"Would you like for me to make you some tea?"

Sakura shook her head. "Gaara's sleeping. I don't want to wake him up, too."

Ah, Gaara. His apartment was ready and the furniture had all been delivered and set up, but he refused to leave just yet. Not until he knew for sure that Kizashi wasn't coming back. He was just as jumpy as Sakura could be and whenever there was a loud noise, his eyes never failed to go straight to his best friend, checking on her.

"Maybe…" Mebuki sighed, pressing her cheek to the top of Sakura's head. "Maybe we should think about Sasuke staying with us for a while. Just until you're feeling better."

Slowly, hesitantly, Sakura turned in her mother's arms so that she was facing her and thanks to the light outside that was shining through the window, she could see Mebuki's features.

"I don't think that will work, Mom," whispered Sakura.

There was an awful sinking feeling in her stomach. "Why do you think that?"

"Because…" Her voice went even quieter, to the point where Mebuki could barely hear her. "The nightmares… They aren't about what he did to me. They're…" At the obvious difficulty with saying the words, Mebuki reached up and brushed her daughter's soft hair behind her ear. "They're about me. They're about our similarities."

That sinking feeling became much worse. "You're nothing like that man, Sakura. You're intelligent, passionate and caring. You wouldn't hurt a fly–"

But Sakura was shaking her head, choking back a sob. "I nearly broke Sasuke's hand one time, Mom." At her mother's gasp of shock, at the freezing of her hand, she continued, "Back before we were together. T-There was a-a debate and… And the pressure was all too much. He was… He was t-teasing me and everyone was watching and I…" This time, the sob could not be stopped. "I nearly broke his hand… when we had to shake hands." She shook her head, her features scrunching up with pain. "I don't want to hurt him. I don't want to hurt anyone!"

"And you won't," Mebuki hushed her, about to bring her daughter closer.

However, Sakura shook her head again, quickly trying to wipe away her tears. "Sasuke asked me to move in with him when we start college."

Silence.

"Because of our schedules, because we'd hardly get to see each other otherwise. But what if… What if I say yes and the pressure gets to be too much again? What if I lash out again?" Sakura gripped at the sheets between them with trembling hands, her knuckles turning white under the strain. "I… I love him, Mom. I don't want to hurt him like Dad hurt you."

Mebuki closed her eyes and seemed to take a deep breath, thinking something over. And when her eyes reopened and she looked at Sakura, there was a seriousness about her.

"You don't need my permission to move out, you know that," she stated slowly, carefully. It was like she was almost wary. "But before I have my say, or before you tell me what you told Sasuke-kun, I want you to do something for me."

Sakura frowned at her mother's serious and solemn features. Something was bothering her and had been since her father's latest attack. Maybe even before then. And it seemed she was finally about to find out what. She'd been too unsure to actually ask her. That and still slightly traumatised by what had happened. "What is it?"

"I want you to go and get some help," Mebuki told her and the seriousness never left her features for a second. "Professional help. I know I can't force you–"

"Okay."

When tears filled Sakura's eyes once more, her mother took her hand gently, kissing the back of it. "You know that you need the help."

She nodded, swallowing hard and whispering, "I don't want to be like him, Mom. I don't want to be angry all of the time."

Without another word Mebuki shifted forward and pulled her daughter into a comforting embrace, allowing her a few minutes to try and calm herself. "Not only for your anger, Sakura," she murmured once she felt Sakura calming. "I don't want you to be scarred by that man like I am. You're going to grow from this and not be held back by him any longer. I'll make sure of it."

"And… You're okay with it?" Sakura asked quietly, hesitantly. "You're okay with me moving out?"

"If Sasuke-kun makes you happy, if he somehow manages to comfort you and take away your pain, then yes. A thousand times yes. I don't want you to be suffering and it's hurting me so much that I can't be the one to help you heal." Mebuki took a deep breath, releasing it shakily. "Just promise that you'll visit me. And call. And text. Let me know how you're doing and whether or not you need me. The second you need me, I'll be there. I promise."

Sakura nodded, forcing back her tears. "What do I do?"

"About getting help?" replied Mebuki softly. Another nod. "We'll go and see your doctor tomorrow, unless you'd rather speak to somebody you know?"

An image of Tsunade flashed through her mind. Tall, proud and beautiful, radiating strength and superiority. Could Sakura really speak to such a woman? Could she really speak to the woman who was her shishou? Tsunade was no psychiatrist, but after speaking with her, Sakura knew she would be referred to one. Maybe she should speak to Tsunade? That way, there'd be no secrets between them and the blonde would know all about her anger issues.

"Can we see Tsunade-sama?" Sakura asked after a few minutes. "I'd feel more comfortable with her."

Mebuki nodded and brought Sakura closer, kissing the top of her head. "Sleep, now. You need to rest."

"But–"

"I'll be here," she murmured and rubbed her daughter's back soothingly. "I'll do my best to fight away the nightmares for you."

Her sleep had been anything but peaceful, but Sakura did her best not to let it show, as Mebuki had tried so hard last night to comfort her, to help her.

The nightmares had returned but thankfully, during the night, she and Mebuki had tossed and turned, eventually ending up on different sides of the bed, so her mother hadn't noticed when Sakura woke up and got out of bed, shaking and sweating.

After that, she had refused to go back to sleep and had instead stayed up the rest of the night playing an old video game. Funnily enough, it was the one she'd met Avenger–S on, though neither of them had been on the game in quite a while. Also, due to how late it was, Sasuke was not online and there was no denying that her heart had sunk when she realised that.

Around five in the morning, there was a quiet knock on her bedroom door and only after an equally as quiet "come in" did the door open, revealing Gaara.

"I saw that your light was on."

She offered him a small smile and pulled her legs up, allowing him a seat at the bottom of her bed. "I couldn't sleep."

Without thinking twice about it, Gaara sat down, rubbing his eyes tiredly as he did so and the smile on Sakura's face softened. Seeing him when he was tired always brought a smile to her face because of how young and vulnerable he looked.

"Gaara?"

"Hm?"

After setting her laptop aside and sitting up, she frowned softly. "When you spoke to your doctor about being depressed, how did you… How did you bring it up?"

Instantly, she had his full attention. Gaara's eyes were on hers, his brow creasing ever so slightly and all exhaustion seemed to slip away. "You're getting help?" She nodded. "Just tell your doctor how you're feeling. They're there to help and I'm sure they've heard worse things before." Just as Sakura went to argue, he cut her off. "I know it's… daunting. I was reluctant to open up at all the first few times I went, but with Temari's pushing, I eventually explained to my doctor how I was feeling." There was a pause, one where he regarded her. "You'll feel better for it, Sakura."

"So you think I need help, too?" It wasn't an accusation. It was a question, one that was spoken softly and quietly.

Gaara sighed and leaned back against the wall. "Honestly? Yes, I do. Your anger is much worse than it was when we were thirteen, Sakura. I don't want you to end up doing something you'll regret all because of your anger taking over you."

Only a few seconds later and Sakura was shifting forward, laying her head on Gaara's lap and shutting her eyes tiredly when he began to run his fingers through her hair distractedly.

Their friendship had always been like this: comfortable. They could be themselves around each other without worrying about judgement or anything else of the sort. Hell, Sakura could ask Gaara to grab her a tampon or ask him something about sex and he wouldn't care. It was like that with Hinata, too – minus the sex question, of course. More than once, the two girls had been in a position such as the one Sakura and Gaara were currently in. It was just so relaxing and comforting, having your best friend there with you when you needed your friends the most.

"Thank you for staying longer."

Grabbing the pillow at the top of the bed, Gaara put it against the wall and leaned against it, resting his head back and shutting his eyes. "You would do the same and more if our roles were reversed."

That was true. She didn't even have to think about being there for him or any of her friends. It would just happen. "You could probably move into your apartment soon, though."

"Are you sure?" he asked after a beat of silence, opening his eyes and frowning down at her hesitant features. "I don't have to until you're feeling more comfortable being home."

She smiled and grabbed his free hand. "Sasuke's getting his own apartment when we start college–"

"And he's asked you to move in with him?" Sakura nodded. Gaara returned her gentle smile and continued running his fingers through her hair. "I'm happy for you, Sakura. It gives you the chance to start over – it'll be a place with no bad memories."

Again, she nodded and smiled. "I broke the news to my mom earlier. She's agreed that it's a good idea, but only if I get help before moving out."

The smile vanished from Gaara's features as he realised the meaning behind getting help. It was so she didn't end up harming Sasuke in the way Kizashi harmed Mebuki. He knew that just by the dimming smile on his best friend's face and it angered him that she thought she was anything like that bastard. But no matter how many times Sakura had been told they were not the same, he knew that that fear remained within her. It probably always would, as sad as that was to admit.

"Get the help you need," he encouraged quietly. "Prove to him and yourself that you're nothing like him. You're better than him, so much better."

"I will."

"Try to sleep," murmured Gaara when Sakura yawned tiredly.

"I can't."

"Do you want me to contact Uchiha for you?"

As much as Gaara hated to admit it: he'd been wrong about Uchiha Sasuke. He truly had changed since the days where he ruthlessly ripped everything away from Sakura. Now, Sasuke did everything he could to protect Sakura, to make her happy and feel loved. It was still rather strange seeing them together and so in love, but Gaara could not deny that it made him happy seeing such happiness in Sakura's eyes.

"It's too late–"

"He told you to message him any time you need him."

"But–"

Instead of listening to her, Gaara reached forward and grabbed her phone, inwardly smirking at the fact that Sakura didn't even try to stop him.

The phone only rang twice.

"Is something wrong, Sakura?"

He sounded just as exhausted as they did, like he hadn't gotten any sleep and as he noticed that, Gaara bit the inside of his cheek. Would Sasuke be able to drive safely in such a state of exhaustion? It would destroy Sakura if anything happened to him.

"It's Gaara. Are you able to come over?"

"Why? Has something happened?" Thankfully, it sounded like Sasuke was getting out of bed. "Where's Sakura?"

"With me and no, nothing has happened. She just…" Gaara looked down at her, trying his best to mask his sadness at the state of her. "She needs you."

"I'll text her when I've arrived. That way I won't wake Mebuki up using the buzzer."

Half an hour later and Sasuke was snuggling up to her in her bed, much to Sakura's happiness.

Gaara had been the one to let him in, nodding his thanks to the Uchiha for driving so early in the morning, when he was clearly so tired. After watching Sasuke entering Sakura's bedroom and silently shutting the door behind himself, Gaara got dressed and was out the door, jogging to the dojo for an early morning workout.

"Nightmares," was all Sakura had to whisper as she felt Sasuke's arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her back to his front.

"I'm here now," murmured Sasuke in return, kissing the back of her head affectionately.

Sakura smiled softly and stroked one of his arms, wanting to return his loving hold somehow, though was too tired to turn around. "I spoke to my mom."

All exhaustion was immediately forgotten about. "About…?"

"Yeah." Her smile warmed when Sasuke turned her so that Sakura was laying on her back with him leaning over her. "She said she's fine with it, but on one condition."

Sasuke frowned and gently cupped his girlfriend's cheek. The troubled expression didn't suit her in the least. She was supposed to be smiling and happy. "What's the condition?"

"I need to speak to someone about my anger."

There was a second of silence. And then another. And another. Then, Sasuke couldn't help but grin down at Sakura. "I'll support you," he told her suddenly. "Every step of the way." Sakura smiled brightly at his enthusiasm. "I'm glad your mother's agreed to this."

"So am I," she replied honestly.

A/N - So, I had a job interview this morning. I arrived half an hour before I was supposed to and they weren't ready for me, so I had to stand around awkwardly in the shop while they set up. Then, to make things so much better, when they asked me about myself and what motivates me, I went on a huge rant about tidying, of all things, because my mind had gone blank and I couldn't think of anything to say! I really liked my outfit, though. I should hear back tomorrow, the manager said.

Oh and we've taken in a kitten, too. She's like ten weeks old and was found on the streets, starving, has worms and is riddled with fleas. We're still trying to get rid of the worms and fleas, but we'd rather have our pets catch the fleas than let the kitten stay out on the streets. Right now, we're trying to decide whether or not we should have her. Our pets have accepted her (well most of them) and she seems really comfortable with us, so my mum's leaning more on the 'keeping' her side.

And I get my exam results on Thursday! I was supposed to get them last week, but college screwed up by trying to make us all get our results online. Just like I knew it would: the site crashed and nobody could see their results. They emailed us all with our results, but only gave me three of mine. Distinction star, pass and another pass. I get the rest of them on Thursday and I hope they're just as good!

Anyway, I hope you liked the chapter.