Author's Note: I am completely ashamed that the song "Trouble" by Pink reminded me of Chell. So sorry for that mental image, folks. LOL.

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18

Chell and the cores spent the morning in the cafeteria.

She had managed to find herself something in a can that had no label, but it tasted a lot like tuna fish. It was surprisingly delicious, actually.

Wheatley sat across from her while she ate. "Um...hm..." he said, obviously attempting to stir up conversation with her. When Chell glanced up at him through a mouthful of food, he grinned painfully. "So, I can see you and that maniac are getting along."

Chell shrugged her shoulders and swallowed her food. "Yeah, I guess we are."

Rick laughed and leaned to her side of the table. "Yeah! Live and let live!" he said, elbowing her in the shoulder playfully. "You were asleep for a long time - fifty years worth. Nice to get a little something-something every once in a while. Right?"

Chell blushed a little.

"You know, if I was a human, I'd probably throw up right now..." Wheatley muttered.

Chell frowned at him now. She suddenly felt a little insulted. "What's your problem?"

"My problem?" Wheatley snapped, "My problem should be bloody obvious! You and her! She was our enemy and all of a sudden, you're just rolling over and exposing your belly to her like a good little dog and - " He cut himself off and his eyes widened when he noticed Chell's glare. "Oh, I've just done it again. I shouldn't have said that. That was pretty ugly of me. Monstrous." He laughed weakly. "I guess I don't have much place to talk given the way I acted before."

Chell shrugged her shoulders, the tension melting from her body. Now, she felt confused by Wheatley's retort. "I don't understand why you have an issue with it." she said. "She's not trying to kill you."

"True. And believe me, I am QUITE grateful for that," Wheatley laughed. Then, he looked serious again. "True, it's not my business - "

"It really isn't." Chell interrupted with an impatient sigh.

Wheatley paused once at the interruption, grimacing before he continued. "Look, I know what a monster I was. Really, I do. I'm making up for that," he assured her. "You're my friend. Well - eheh - I'd hope so, anyway. After all the saving, rescuing and stuff. I hope we could put all our misunderstandings behind us. No, no, that came out wrong. Grr, sorry, that was just - hm - no. No. I mean that I...I mean -

Just then, GLaDOS walked into the cafeteria, covered head to toe in dirt. Yet she seemed to be in unusually high spirits, which caused all of them to stare at her strangely. "Well, good morning morons, lunatics and fanatics!" she sighed, in an oddly cheerful mood.

Chell arched her eyebrows. "GLaDOS, are you okay?"

"Oh yes, indeed I am, my ever inquiring test subject! The best I've felt since my activation!" the AI said, with a smile. "I've brought you something."

That "something" consisted of an animal carcass that she slapped onto the table, making everyone jump. Closer inspection revealed it to be a gray and white rabbit with its neck broken.

"Yes. Orange and Blue were completing a task for me. So that left just me to find something for my little killers and out hops this Leporidae in my path," GLaDOS told the human. "I thought you'd be quite thrilled to have some fresh meat for a change. Though I can't imagine why you'd need more of it. You have enough fatty deposits to last many winters to come." She grinned triumphantly down at Chell, who looked a little sickly by the sight of the animal. "Anyway, eat up. Fresh food doesn't just grow on trees down here. Well, it does but...oh, just eat it."

Chell picked up the rabbit by the ears and stood up, studying the corpse with a wince.

"Oh, you'll make her sick, you will!" Wheatley snapped at the AI. "It might be filled with worms!"

GLaDOS glared at him. "The use of any eukaryote organisms is anything BUT efficient in the murder of anyone, even lunatics for test subjects," she snapped. She looked at Chell and smiled at her. "I can assure you, the creature is fine to consume. And you had better eat it because I went through dirt to catch it."

Chell curled her lip somewhat before staring down at the rabbit. Then, a smile lit her lips. "Okay, I have an idea."

After much work on Chell's part, GLaDOS watched the human as she stood over a cooking pot where the chopped up pieces of rabbit meat were being stewed in water mixed with various other canned vegetables Chell had pilfered from the pantry. She had no idea the human could cook.

"That looks rather strange," the AI commented, leaning forward to stare through the steam at the mixture within. "Are you sure you're doing it right?"

Chell laughed. "I know what I'm doing."

"That would be a first."

"Oh? Even after all the help I've given after the mess we've gotten into?"

"Yes. But as I recall, it was mess that could have been avoided hadn't it NOT been because of you..."

Chell waved a hand in the air. "Semantics."

GLaDOS rolled her eyes with a murmur of dismay, but said nothing more as the human switched off the stove burner with a pleased sound. "Ah! It's done!"

Chell retrieved a bowl and poured some of the stew into it before she sat down at the tables. GLaDOS sat across from her with an expectant look and when Chell took a sip of the food, her features brightened and she murmured with pleasure. GLaDOS seemed satisfied with her response and leaned back.

"When you're finished eating, I want you to go down into Old Aperture and - " she began.

"Let me stop you right there," Chell interrupted, raising her spoon. "I don't think I should go back to Old Aperture right now."

GLaDOS arched her brows. "Oh? And why not?"

"I went down there earlier today," Chell explained, through a mouthful of food. Her features seemed distant and thoughtful now. "I know it sounds weird and a little paranoid, but I could swear I was being watched. Not like when you're watching me over the cameras since - well, you can't really given the fact there aren't any cameras down there. The point is, I had this feeling someone was watching me."

GLaDOS seemed amused by her paranoia. "Was the moron with you?"

"Well...yes. Rick was there too."

"No one but us travel to the lower facilities," GLaDOS assured her, though her voice still carried an air of mockery to it. "Perhaps it's The Bird seeking out its revenge."

Chell seemed to be a little bit annoyed by that remark, but her annoyance lessened a degree and she let out a guffaw. "Yeah, you might be right."

"Of course I am."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Maybe she's back for those eggs you took."

GLaDOS looked uneasy now. "Do you think so?"

The way she looked around the room warily - as if The Bird could come out at any moment from behind those walls with talons flashing - Chell had forgotten why she had felt paranoid about Old Aperture to begin with and laughed hysterically.

Much later, GLaDOS had decided to place several turrets down into Old Aperture anyway. But not for Chell's sake.

For fear of The Bird coming for its revenge.

There were two turrets placed on a catwalk, their lasers shining into the darkness.

Something moved.

"Hello?" one of the turrets called. "Who's there?"

There was a shadow that passed along the abandoned office nearby and the turret's optics followed its path. It seemed to blur by rapidly, easily missed by them. The Sentry Turrets knew no fear as far as humans experienced, but were programmed to have it simulated.

And there was fear.

A rumbling sound filled the air.

The deep growling noise of a beast.

The turrets took aim at the shadow in the darkness, their weapon systems activated...

It wasn't enough.

In a flash, the first turret was shredded in a spray of black fluid across the catwalk. The second was engulfed by the towering shadow and opened fire on it, seconds before it took was obliterated in a mess of shredded metal and fluids.

O

Testing in the shower proved to be quite effective.

GLaDOS was pleased with how much more vocal Chell was during their next "testing session" as they moved together under the warmth of the water. It seemed to help ease things along and the AI was certainly enjoying herself. The human could apply herself quite thoroughly when she wanted to. Hopefully, GLaDOS could count on many repeat sessions like this to follow. And Chell obviously couldn't complain about having their naked bodies entangled together on the shower floor.

Chell wriggled a little beneath GLaDOS, smiling rather happily. Her damp hair was stuck to her face and she pushed it aside a bit. "Wow. You really know what you're doing, huh?"

GLaDOS smirked down at her, laying on top of the human like a contented lioness. "I always do."

Chell chuckled and shook her head. Mating with the lunatic certainly helped put her in a much more pleasant mood, which was good for GLaDOS anyway. It meant that thoughts of murdering her person weren't swimming about in her brain.

"That was really good..." Chell sighed.

GLaDOS smiled and for the first time, she looked a little more happy than usual. "Yes. It really was, wasn't it?"

"Um...yeah."

The AI shifted a little before raising herself up and Chell followed, feeling a little wobbly in her thighs. "Now then, are you going to go down to Old Aperture and retrieve more files for me?"

Chell scoffed and put her hands on her hips. "Are you kidding?" she growled. "Did you just give me several mind-blowing orgasms just to get your way?"

GLaDOS grinned at her. "Did it work?"

"Well...I wouldn't say it DIDN'T but - "

"Then yes, I did."

Chell scoffed and let out a snort. It was difficult to get angry at the supercomputer after what they had just done. Damn her for that, by the way. Then, she smirked slyly when GLaDOS turned around to shut off the water, getting a rather sneaky idea.

GLaDOS' eyes widened when she felt a dull slap at her behind. She turned and glared back at the too-innocent-looking human who stood there with a grin on her face. She dared her with her eyes to retaliate. Why that sneaky, grabby little monkey!

"What?" Chell asked.

GLaDOS' eyes narrowed and she took a step forward, causing the human to sprint out of the shower room naked with a shriek. She gave chase.

"The Enrichment Center would like to remind you that blatantly slapping the Vital Testing Apparatus on the backside - " she began.

But Chell couldn't even hear the rest of what she was saying - she was laughing too hard. The floor on her bare feet was cold as all hell, but this was fun. The most fun she'd had in a long time. How had it ever come to this anyway? Running butt-naked through Aperture for one thing. They had definitely changed since they had made attempts to kill one another. Well, Chell doing most of the attempting by GLaDOS' reasoning. But still...something nagged away in the back of her mind -

Well, that was enough thinking about it.

Meanwhile, Wheatley and Rick emerged from one of the rooms with the blue-eyed former sphere looking rather stunned down at a tattered old book he was reading. "Can humans truly do those things?" he asked. "I don't recall bones being quite that flexible."

"You'd be surprised." Rick joked, chuckling.

Wheatley sighed and slapped the book shut. "I don't know about you, but I think I'm quite done looking at naked bottom for one day."

And at that precise moment when those words left his lips, Chell blurred passed him and GLaDOS followed, leaving Wheatley standing there, frozen with wide eyes at what he had just seen. Rick watched them go and waved after them.

"Yeah! Live free, ladies!" he called, laughing.

O

After much persuasion, Chell was finally convinced to enter the lower facilities with Wheatley, Fact Core, Space and Rick tagging along. They ventured into Test Shaft Ten where testing of a fourth gel had begun, but was ultimately scrapped. While Chell was going through the offices, the cores were digging around in a storage room nearby, pulling out boxes and setting them on the catwalk for Chell to go through when she was finished.

"I just don't understand how this could have happened..." Wheatley was saying.

Rick looked at him skeptically - as much as he could with his optic. "Do you want me to draw you a picture, son?" he quipped.

"No!" Wheatley grimaced. "You know what I mean. The human and that maniac were enemies. Now they're...they're... you know - "

"Doing the do?" Rick shrugged.

"Yeah."

"What are you, jealous?"

"No!"

Of course, Wheatley's response wasn't nearly as convincing to Rick as he wanted it to be.

Fact and Space Core didn't prove to be much use to the other two as they simply engaged in conversation while strolling back and forth along the catwalk. Rick and Wheatley started arguing a little while they continued pushing boxes out of the storage room.

"...Why do you listen to me then?" Wheatley snapped.

"Well, your voice is a little hard to tune out..." Rick muttered.

Space and Fact Core glanced up toward the towers in the distance of the testing shaft where something seemed to watch them.

Red eyes.

It seemed to scuttle away.

"Space! Saw something - space!" Space Core cried.

Wheatley sighed and glanced over at them. "What are you on about?" he asked, wearily.

"The Fact Sphere has detected movement." Fact Core stated simply. "Movement and noise."

Rick and Wheatley seemed highly attentive now and glanced in the direction that Fact Core pointed. They didn't see anything out of sorts and Rick gave the pink-eyed core an irritated look. "You're defective, you know that?" he snapped, "I don't see anything."

"The Fact Sphere is not defective. The facts are wholly accurate and very interesting!" Fact Core shot back.

"Noise - Space heard noise!" Space Core added with a mild tremble of fear. "Adventure Sphere heard it - space?"

Rick rolled his optic. Then, he pretended to think about it. "You know what, I think I did hear it!" he drawled, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Oh yeah, I remember it now. It must have slipped my mind. Now that I think about it, it sounded a lot like a duo of bugs making up crap." He paused for emphasis and let out a relieved sigh. "Oh good. It stopped." Then, he held up a finger and gestured warningly to the two cores. "Pretty lady's been on guard. So keep this to yourselves and don't go freaking her out. Get me?"

Fact Core seemed affronted and folded his spindly arms in a manner similar to a human. "The Fact Sphere is a good person, whose insights are relevant." He seemed to attempt to goad Rick with his next words. "The Adventure Sphere is a blowhard and a coward."

"That's it!" Rick shouted. "Now you're gonna get it!"

He tackled Fact Core and the two began rolling around along the catwalk in a full-out brawl. Space Core was knocked off of his feet and Wheatley attempted to restore order. The sound of their quarrel alerted Chell from the office and she quickly rushed out to put a stop to it.

"Hey!" she yelled, "Will the two of you stop fighting and help me?"

Fact Core looked at her. "The Adventure Sphere hit me."

"What'd I do?" Rick snapped, glaring at him.

"Hit me." Fact Core answered.

With that, Rick slapped Fact Core so hard, his entire head rolled around on his limbs. It took a moment before Chell helped steady his head before giving Rick a look. The Adventure Sphere looked at her innocently and shrugged his spindly shoulders.

"He's the boss."

Chell rolled her eyes and helped Fact Core stand. His positioning was a little wobbly, but he didn't seem to object to it. Rick soon followed after and the human stared down at him with confusion and mild irritation. "Why can't you two ever put it on hold?" she insisted. "What were you even fighting about THIS time?"

Wheatley opened his mouth to talk, but Rick stomped down on his foot quickly to keep him from doing it. Wheatley's face pinched in pain and he struggled to keep it into a forced grin. Chell didn't really get what was up with them, so she simply shrugged and returned to the office.

"Okay, don't tell me." she muttered. "Just help me with these boxes. I'm not taking them all up myself."

"Space!" Space Core yelled, rushing up to her with his hands in the air.

"No space. Boxes." Chell corrected.

"Space boxes!"

"Suit yourself, just carry them."

The others took her demonstration and carried a few boxes, following her back up to the modern facility. However, Rick couldn't help but hesitate and glance back toward the same location that Fact Core had indicated. Yeah, he didn't believe the little idiot, but he couldn't help staring anyway.

Once they returned to the upper facility, Chell had found something that would make GLaDOS' "little killer" much more frightening. Before the AI could question what it was, she was already fitting a bright red hood over Mr. Chubby Beak's head. The bird didn't seem to be all that offended by it and let out a loud chirp in response. GLaDOS stared at Chell skeptically before reaching into the compartment and allowing the bird to crawl up onto her arm. The other two did the same when Chell reached in, allowing them to move up onto her shoulders.

"Hm, it does make him appear to be much more frightening." GLaDOS mused. She grinned at Mr. Chubby Beak. "You are mommy's little killer. Yes, you are! Yes, you are!"

The gushy syrupy sweet voice made Chell stare at her and GLaDOS caught it. She narrowed her eyes. "Don't speak of this to anyone."

"I wasn't gonna say anything." Chell interjected with an amused chuckle.

GLaDOS seemed satisfied with that response.

"They're getting pretty big." Chell pointed out. "It must be all that food you're giving them."

"Yes. Soon they will be fully matured killers." GLaDOS said, smiling with glee.

"And Mr. Chubby Beak will lead the charge, I assume?"

"You would assume correctly."

Chell was amused by how serious GLaDOS looked, even though she herself had been joking.

"Did you name the other two birds yet?" she asked.

"No."

"How about we call this one - " She gestured to the bird on her right arm. " - She-Beast and the other one Lady Killer?"

GLaDOS arched her brows skeptically. "Those are absolutely terrible names... Wait, are they both even female?"

"Yes." Chell stated. Then, her smile deflated somewhat and she looked a little confused. "Uh, wait. I don't know. How do you check for that in birds?"

"Give them to me."

It took a few seconds before GLaDOS allowed the two birds on Chell to climb up onto her arms. She studied them for a few more seconds before nodding her head with a clinical murmur. "Yes, they are both female," she stated. "And no, we are not calling them what you offered. I will call this one - " She moved her right arm where one bird was sitting, nibbling away at the cloth of her lab coat. "Cara. And the other one will be named Mia. That seems suitable to me."

"Cara and Mia?" Chell repeated, arching a brow. She shrugged her shoulders. "Okay, they're YOUR kids." Then, she flashed her a teasing grin. "Okay, so if they're your children and you're the mommy, does that mean I get to be the 'fun parent'?"

"It means you get to leave my chamber immediately before I throw you into the Incinerator for that horrible comparison."

Chell let out a cackle and walked away.

GLaDOS watched her go before a smirk lit her lips. She stared down at her birds with a mischievous grin on her face now.

"What do you say we test the 'fun parent' tomorrow, my little killers?" she purred.

The birds simply let out a collection of chirps in response.