Karkat laid on the bed he and Dave shared every night. The bed that they first started their relationship on. The bed that the confided and protected each other every night on. And he thought. He thought about his reaction and to Dave's emotional distance. He didn't like the distance, but he hated the way he treated the human. It wasn't unreasonable for him to want space and to work things out before he talked to Karkat. The troll had just gotten impatient and wanted to fix things. Instead, he probably just fucked up royally and poor Dave was most likely still crying. Only this time because his matesprit was a shouty jack-ass that trampled on his feelings. God, he really was an asshole sometimes. He failed as a leader and now he failed as a boyfriend.
He played with the chain around his neck absentmindedly looking at it with an unfocused gaze. This lovely brass locket, it was even shaped like a heart. Dave was so sweet during matesprit day…and that was how Karkat treated him. He should make it right…but how? Apple juice was a given, but after the mess that whole fight was, Karkat owed Dave something more. The human wasn't one for flowers, maybe chocolate? Karkat was the one to eat almost that entire box; Dave didn't even really seem interested. He hadn't been reading much lately either, said he just wasn't feeling it. So, what then?
Even if Karkat could think of something to give the time player, should he really bother him again? Is that really the answer? Isn't that just forcing on his unwanted presence on Dave again? Just for his own peace of mind? Not really fair. Hmmm…..
After about ten minutes, Dave was able to calm down enough from the argument to cry again…if that can really be called calming down. He didn't like crying, but he felt so overwhelmed by his emotions that he didn't really have a choice at the moment. Crying only seemed to increase his anxiety though, most likely due to the reaction it always got from Bro, anger. Like he didn't know how to handle a crying child. If Dave was lucky, Bro would just storm off to his room and Dave would cry himself out, curl up into his bed and sleep. If he wasn't, well, varying degrees of outbursts were what happened. Sometimes smashing a few plates, sometimes he would toss Dave a sword and make him strife. That was just the way he always dealt with it. Dave didn't want to strife anymore though, in all actuality that was the last thing he ever wanted to do again. In fact, when the game is over he wants to destroy every sword he owned and would never touch one of the god awful things again.
He was calming down again. He uncaptchalogged his sword. He can't stand the sight of it anymore. They still have a good year left on the meteor, he didn't want to carry it with him everywhere anymore. It was like the physical embodiment of his emotional baggage. He would deal with it in his own time, in his own way. Wringing his brain of the noxious fluid that it had been soaking in for thirteen years. That same fluid that had only festered and became more grotesque now that his brain wasn't immersed in that violent tank. Trying to remove everything at once was too much; too big a job for a fifteen year old or anyone for that matter. No, he would work on it bit by bit during the rest of his time here and continue after the game had ended. Any maybe, if he works hard enough, his brain will be clean at some point; the stains removed…like it never happened. This would be his first step. He placed the sword under bed in the corner. Funny how he had been scared of the monsters that stalked in the shadows and dark places; and now those very places are where he chooses to put them. He would expunge them little by little; but right now, he needed away from them.
Now, for Karkat. What should he do? He'll be ready to talk to the troll someday, but he wanted to get to a place where he didn't feel so fragile first. He didn't like the feeling that he could break with a feather's touch. It's too sensitive a subject right now…maybe after the game…if their still together….God, please don't let Karkat hate him. Dave took a few deep breaths calming himself as best he could; he didn't even have his shades for protection. This sucks. He prepared himself as best he could and went into their bedroom.
Karkat was on the bed, holding a bottle of apple juice; looking at it intensely when Dave entered. "Hey….kit…kat.." The words felt awkward in his mouth. Was he even allowed to use the pet name anymore? Karkat looked up at him, eyes quickly growing wide. He stood up marched up to Dave and threw his arms around the boy.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I was an ass, please forgive me. You're right, you've been so understanding with my bullshit and I pushed too hard. I'm so sorry…Davey." Karkat was testing his limits too. Would Dave still be okay with the name? If he was, then maybe they were still matesprits?
Dave returned the hug. Hugging him so tight that it almost hurt, Karkat didn't mind though. Dave still loved him. "No, I'm sorry Kitkat. I shouldn't have yelled. I should have talked to you…it's just-"
"Shh Shh, No, you tell me when you're ready. I'll be right here and ready to listen." Karkat stroked the boy's cheek; small smiles appearing on both their faces. A brief kiss to solidify their reconciliation. Karkat handed the juice to Dave. "I…um…." A dusting of red covering his face. "I think we should finally have that anatomy talk."
"Kitkat, no I shouldn't have-"
"No, this is something I want to do….just…" Karkat looked away, his voice becoming infinitesimally small, "Just try to keep an open mind and …and try not to be too disgusted by it" Dave's lips were on Karkat's in an instant; filled with tenderness, affection, and as much comfort as he could possibly convey.
"Is that what that was all about?" Another peck for reassurance. "I could never find my Kitkat's body disgusting. Ever. EVER. I don't care what you have going on down there, I love you."
The dusting now a thick coat of paint that covered the troll's entire face. A deep breath "Okay, I trust you Dave, I love you too."
So, the boys sat and talked. Karkat attempted to start the conversation, but was still so nervous that he tripped over his own words; rolling down a hill clumsily and landing face first in embarrassment pond. Dave took pity on his poor, yet completely adorable boyfriend and took the initiative; explaining human anatomy to him. He chose to explain female anatomy first as it was easier for him; he could just recite the health class explanation. A nice detachment that could pave the way for a more intimate elucidation. He then went into describing his own anatomy; unable to conceal his own nervousness as butterflies took control of his stomach and bashfulness stained his face a raspberry hue. Karkat listened attentively and with a surprising degree of poise. No incarnadine ink coloring his face; just an earnest look that said he wanted to understand.
When it was Karkat's turn, the roles reversed. He was calmer than before, but the talk itself was so personal he couldn't help but flush as he spoke. He explained that troll anatomy was a mix of both human sexes…and the…erm…male equivalent was a little different. When Dave pressed for clarification Karkat's face imitated that of a tomato; still he pressed on. His explanation received a small blush from Dave; "I see, I think I know what you're talking about…there was something like that on a hentai video cover I found on the floor of Bro's room once, I think." Both boys completely red. The talk was enough for one day. Maybe sometime they could actually show each other, but they had had enough uncomfortable situations for today.
Notes: Because I live on fluff and awkward moments.
Marna21: Thank you! I'm so glad you are enjoying it!
Linda065cliva: I've never listen to Steampunk Giraffe, I'll have to check them out! Also, I'm the same way, I have a few pieces of jewelry that's steampunk, but that's about it. I love the aesthetic, but it's too much work for me to replicate.
Guest: I know you said not to respond, but I just want to say I freaking LOVE owls..so thank you for the owl. ^-^