Jennifer wearily opened her eyes, Anders turned from the desk in her room as she groaned. "Ah! You're awake." He smiled moving closer towards her and sitting just on the side of the bed. Jennifer turned her head away a frown twisting her normally bright features. Anders reached for her taking her hand in his, she gently pulled it from him, not bothering to look his way. "Don't. Don't turn away."
"You should have just left well enough alone." She whispered quietly as she looked down upon her bandage wrapped wrist.
"That's awfully selfish, I didn't think you had a selfish bone in your body." Anders pulled away but did not leave the bed, instead he looked back at the desk with a sigh.
"There's quite a lot you don't know about me."
"Is he really worth it? Worth killing yourself over?" Anders whispered angrily.
"He left me. Just like everyone else. He left me." Large tears spilled down to Jennifer's temples, dampening her hair. She folded her arms covering her eyes and sobbed quietly. "I didn't think I could be so stupid as to fall for it all over again. Yet here I am." She laughed bitterly to herself.
"You are a stronger woman than this. Don't let him bring you down!" Anders hugged onto Jennifer tightly, pulling her to him and digging his fingers into her shoulders. "There are so many who would miss you, please don't just walk away." He nuzzled gently into her hair.
Jennifer slowly brought her hands to his arms, what was she doing? It's been years since she has just given up, not fought back. How could I give up without a fight now? and for the first time in weeks smiled genuinely. "You are the greatest friend anyone could ever hope to have. Do you believe me now when I say you are a good man?"
Anders chuckled but released Jennifer to arm's length looking at her. "It's his loss. I would be mad to give you up." He smirked and took her injured wrist in his hands. "You'll need to be careful for the next week. It was a deep cut and the muscles need time to heal, so only light work, no escapades with Hawke.
"You are absolutely no fun, you know that right?" She wiped gently at her eyes before giving him another smile.
"So I've been told. I think Isabela put it as a 'stick in the mud.' Others have dubbed me as a pretentious prick, but that was in my younger years." He smirked again before standing and stretching his stiff muscles. "C'mon, Lady Amell said she was making a nice broth for you, think you can hold some of it down?"
At Jennifer's nod he lead the way through the estate towards the kitchens where she was greeted by Orana and Leandra as they fussed about the kitchen, Hawke had left earlier and were very vague on where he'd gone. Jennifer only had to guess, but she would wallop him for it later. Till then she sat at the counter, sipping carefully at the warm broth.
-ooo-
That night, Hawke finally returned home and checked in on Jennifer, the relief he saw at her smile was palpable and he gathered her in a fierce hug before she pushed back and glared at him, "What did you say to him?" When she looked down at his clothes, noticing she had never seen them before she quirked a brow. "And what are you wearing?"
Hawke, obviously, chose the safest question first. "I had to change clothes from earlier. Your 'mishap' was a bit messy."
"And? The answer to my other question?" She tapped her foot expectantly.
Hawke frowned but relayed what he had said.
"You called him a what? Hawke! How could you?!" She stared at him incredulously.
"What would you have me do? Because of him, your heart was broken, something I thought would never happen. You were so upset, it became harder and harder to watch you ever day that passed, I would have almost rather you be Tranquil!" He yelled, his voice booming as he gestured wildly. "You are loved, and you are such a bright light, and-" He faltered, breathing heavily. "And after losing Bethany… I couldn't lose you too. You are the only sibling I have left."
Jennifer stood on her tippy toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. "You know you are going to have to apologize."
"I'd rather gargle darkspawn blood." He grimaced.
"Do, it or I'll never speak to you again." Jennifer firmly set her jaw and looked at him seriously.
"Promise?" Jennifer gasped, smacking Hawke upon the shoulder before smirking reluctantly.
"Please, Garrett. Fenris, is not a bad person, if he left me, if for reasons of his own and he shouldn't be judged because of that." Hawke nodded reluctantly, but held fiercely to Jennifer's hand.
"Not that I'm complaining, but why are you in such a chipper mood?" He asked cautiously.
Jennifer smiled, "Because, I'm evil and I have a plan."
Hawke groaned. "A plan?"
Jennifer merely nodded as she pulled him along to the kitchens for food.
-ooo-
Slowly, she had recovered as the week went by, Hawke and Isabela visited her regularly. Jennifer knew they were keeping an eye on her, just being cautious. Jennifer's heart swelled at their actions, at everyone. Even Fenris came by to make sure she was alright, though he didn't visit her directly. Hawke apologized, and their strenuous friendship was restored for the moment. Jennifer graciously refrained from talking about what had happened and why she had almost taken her life when they were asked to come to resolve the jobs Hawke was asked to do.
Jennifer made good on her plan too. She had spoken with Isabela about certain things, maybe not the best person to talk of relationships, but the best to talk about armor to catch a man's eye, and what was important to cover and what could be 'shown off.' So they made their merry way to the armorer in Hightown and on more than one occasion did she catch Isabela pilfering shinies and trinkets, though where she hid them Jennifer had no idea.
After much bartering with the merchant, Jennifer was her measurements and in three days' time she would have a new armor set. She also decided on new weapons, her maces becoming warped and unbalanced. When Fenris would appear at the Hanged Man, Jennifer upped her game, flashing brilliant smiles, salacious winks and reminding Fenris of who she was, but at the same time, giving him his space to think.
She didn't know his specific reasons, that night he was vague, though she figured it had something to do with his past. He was still troubled, and if she didn't know any better, she would say the poor lyrium lined elf hated himself, so Jennifer never excluded him, letting him make his own choice when they went on excursions and the like.
Sebastian was a great ally, on several occasions Fenris and the Chantry brother would have evening conversations over a simple meal, and slowly Sebastian was getting the elf to open up. If Jennifer didn't know of the brother's vows and his sexual preference, Jennifer would have been jealous. He would come by often and they would work the garden, preparing it for spring when the flowers would bloom with life, and they would talk. When he had heard about Jennifer's attempt he hugged her tightly, and Jennifer found herself crying quietly in his arms before pushing back with a grin and a thanks.
"If you didn't have your vows I would kiss you right now." She blushed going back to her plotter and aerating the soil by hand.
"If I didn't have my vows, I would be the same rake as when I left Starkhaven." Sebastian smirked.
"What's Starkhaven like?" She had tucked her knees under her chin as she worked and watched as a little earthworm slowly crawled across the apex of her kneecap.
Sebastian smiled as he diligently pulled weeds from the plotters setting them into the handy bucket nearby. "It's a beautiful area with rolling hills and a clear blue Minater River. Marble fountains and granite paved streets, unlike the harsh grey stone of Kirkwall."
Jennifer smiled and placed her hand upon the crook of Sebastian's arm. "You miss it don't you?"
At Sebastian's nod she removed her arm and looked around the garden, "Why don't you return? Reclaim your birthright?"
"After taking my vows, I gave up my position to reclaim the throne, but it is an interesting thought. Though, I'm not sure if I would make a good prince, my reputation far exceeds me at my homeland." Sebastian smirked, before moving to stand. He offered his hand to Jennifer and she accepted, he pulled her to stand and she awkwardly collided with his brilliant white armor.
She blushed deeply pulling back slightly, "Merril and Isabela were right."
At Sebastian's questioning glance she continued. "Your armor is shiny." Sebastian laughed heartily and wrapped his arm about Jennifer as they walked inside.