"We accept the love we think we deserve."
Everlark
(Peeta is a little OOC)
I walk to my locker after a rough night at home. It's my senior year of high school and its supposed to be my best year yet. But it's not, it's the same as every other year. Nothing special is happening in my life, but then again when is anything ever?
The only interesting thing about me is that I have an abusive father and a mother who doesn't give a damn and still loves my abuser. They love each other, but they both hate me. Last night wasn't so bad, all my dad did was slap me a few times before sending me off to bed. I've had much, much worse. So that was almost nothing...
Although he did step up the verbal abuse, all my life he's called me worthless. A whore, a slut, a bitch, and any other word you could think of. He says I should just die, that no one wants me. I believe all he says, it's all true. He's said it ever since I could walk, it's been embedded into my brain. I can't help but believe ever last letter.
As I reach my locker, I see my boyfriend, Gloss, waiting for me. Gloss is a lot like my father; he abuses me as well, but not to the extent of my dad. Gloss will throw in a few slaps and a few kicks here and there, but nothing life threatening or hospital like. The only thing he does that's worse than my father is verbally abuse me. He treats me as if I'm a piece of trash, always breaking me down. But I guess I deserve it in a way, after all I am worthless, right?
Gloss is terrible, but he's the only one who's ever going to want me. So... I stay with him. Because out of everyone, he's the one that's actually wasting his time with me. He's the one with the whore that no one else would even dare talking to.
"Why are you so late?" He snaps, grabbing my arm and pulling me up to him. "And why do you look like shit?"
I flinch, "I'm sorry Gloss, my car broke down so I had to walk the rest of the way. It was two miles, and my hair got caught in a low hanging tree branch, so it got a little tangled." I mumble.
He rolls his eyes, "I don't really care, now come on. We are going to be late, and if I'm late again then I get Saturday school. You wouldn't want that to be your fault, would you?"
I know it's a rhetorical question, so I don't answer. I just look down at my shoes and hear his annoyed sigh before she starts dragging me to class. We have every class together, Gloss made me get my schedule changed when we first started dating.
The day goes by quickly, Gloss only yells at me during lunch and once when I go to the bathroom. He says the usual, that I'm worthless and I'm lucky he's with me at all, that he could do so much better, anyone could.
At the end of the day, he drives me home since my car is still sitting on the side of the road. We even pass it as he takes me to my house, and I see that there are parking tickets covering the cracked windshield.
When we pull into my drive way and I start to get out, Gloss grabs my arm painfully.
"Go get your money, we are going out to dinner and you're paying." He growls, "And hurry back."
I nod and rush inside only to be met with the gagging smell of cigarettes and beer. Of course the smell is wafting off of my drunk father, who is stumbling into the room.
"Where've you been?" Thread, my father, slurs, supporting himself on the staircase.I forgot to mention he's my adopted father.
"School." I answer shortly, trying to get past him and up to my room so that I don't keep Gloss waiting. He doesn't like that.
My dad grabs my arm tightly and forcefully pulls me back down so that I fly off the stairs and land squarely on my back. Sending a jolting pain up my spine, making my body tingle with aches and pains.
He hovers over me and snarls, sending spit on my face. "Don't back talk me girl."
"I-I was only answering your question, sir." I say quickly, hiding my fear as best I can.
Thankfully he stands straight up and stalks away, falling into the wall many times as he does so. I peer around the corner to make sure he isn't coming back with a knife or something, and I see him going straight into the living room. He sits on the couch, another beer in his hand. I don't watch as he chugs it and takes another, instead I run to my room and grab my wallet. I also grab my coat to hide any bruises the two caused on my wrists, they both gripped them pretty tightly.
I run back outside and hop into the running car.
"What the hell took you so long?" He growls, forcing me to look at him.
"M-my father," I say, avoiding his gaze.
He smirks and leans back into his seat, "I should have let you stay longer, given him some more time to finish up what he was starting."
I look down at my lap, not daring to respond. Gloss chuckles darkly and begins to drive to the cafe.
"Weak; you can't even stand up for yourself." He mutters, glaring at the road ahead.
"Why are we going out to eat?" I ask quietly.
He lets out a groan, as if having to answer my simple question was too much work for him. "Because we are, now would you please shut up?"
I do as I'm told and we soon arrive. We get seated in the small place, and Gloss has his arm around my waist so tightly it hurts. as we walk to our table. His hand is pressing into the bruise my dad gave me a few days ago, causing me to bite my lip from the pain. It's all I can do not to groan in agony, the bruise is still somewhat fresh, it hasn't had time to heal properly. He sits across from me, opening his menu.
Our waitress soon comes, and she's drop dead gorgeous. She has long wavy blonde hair, bright blue eyes, and the largest boobs I've ever seen. So naturally Gloss starts to flirt with her, even though I'm sitting not even a foot away.
At least now I know why we came here...
Our waitress, which I learn is named Glimmer, takes our orders while basically shoving her boobs in Gloss' face. She walks off after taking only his order, smirking at me as her high heels click away.
I don't want to get mad, he's done this before. He's not the most loyal boyfriend ever, but he's the best I'll ever find, the only one I'll ever find. I try my best to conceal the anger boiling inside of me, because I know it will just come back to bite me in the ass later if I don't. It always does, whether it's from a beating, or something he forces me to do in bed.
This time, I'm having trouble tucking my anger away though.
"Gloss? Really?" I ask, trying to hide my annoyance.
His eyes gradually leave Glimmer's butt and meet mine, once they do he rolls them. "What?" He asks.
"You were flirting with her, and I'm right here!" I exclaim quietly, I should know better than to get angry. It will only result in a beating later.
"Yeah? So what's the big deal? She's hot, better than you. That's for sure!" He says, leaning back in his seat. His eyes go behind me and I follow his gaze, sure enough it ends back on the blondes butt as she waits on another table.
Gloss bites his lip, and I even think I hear him suppress a groan. I just stare at him, I don't know why I'm acting so surprised. This isn't a first for him, but it still hurts.
"Besides, I bet she's amazing in bed." He says lowly, his eyes already lustful.
"Unbelievable." I mutter, "No. I take that back. Totally believable."
"What did you say? You know I hate it when you mumble, Katniss, or do we need to leave for a little so that I can remind you?" He asks venomously, his eyes blazing.
"I didn't say anything," I whisper, looking at the sticky table.
"Bullshit," He growls.
"It's not, I didn't say anything," I repeat, avoiding his gaze at all costs.
"Don't lie to me, Kat. I'm going to ask you again; What. Did. You. Say?" He asks, and I can tell his attempt to control his own anger is failing.
Last time I mumbled something or lied it resulted in a backhand slap to the face and a knee in the stomach. The time before that, it was straight to the bedroom for his pleasure and my torture...
"It was nothing!" I say louder, instantly regretting it. Gloss' eyes are blazing with a rage I thought only Satan could hold, and I think I'm only adding to the fire.
"I know you're lying to me, so just wait. You're going to regret lying, I'm going to make sure you can barely walk." He growls, not loud enough for anyone to hear but loud enough to scare me into silence. "Since I'm feeling nice today, I'll give you one more change to tell me what you said," he snarls lowly.
"All I said was it believable that you would do that." I say, being sure not to be too rude.
"Do what?" He asks, narrowing his eyes.
"Basically cheat on me." I say, keeping my eyes trained on the table.
He scoffs. "What? Are you jealous or something?"
"Not jealous."
He laughs darkly, "Are you trying to tell me you're mad?"
I nod once, my eyes slowly lifting to meet his brown ones.
"What makes you think you have the right to be mad at me? You haven't the right to even have feelings, you haven't the right to anything." He says slowly, making sure I hear every word, I'm getting worried someone may hear him.
My eyes quickly go back to the table.
"Just be quiet," I say softly. I don't want anyone to hear him.
"Oh, and now you're telling me what to do? What the hell makes you think any of this behavior is okay? Jesus, Katniss, that's two strikes in only fifteen minutes. I have a feeling tonight's going to be fun." I can hear the smirk in his voice.
I clench my jaw to avoid crying, the stinging sensation is pricking at my eyes. Could today get any worse? Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?
Luckily Glimmer comes back and seems to get Gloss back in a good mood as she flirts with him. She hands him his drink, and even hands me my water. I reach for it, and she 'accidentally' spills it all over me, Gloss, and herself.
Getting her white t-shirt soaked.
Gloss' eyes snap to me and he glares, his eyes almost turning red. I think I can even see smoke coming out of his ears he is so pissed at me.
"Can you stop being such a screw-up? You're such a klutz!" He hollers as he stands, getting the attention of everyone in the restaurant. I don't think he cares right now though. I just signed my own death wish.
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!" I stutter, standing as well. I risk a glance around to see everyone staring at us.
Gloss' nostrils flare as his anger comes out. "I don't know if I can't wait until we get back, I'm real tempted just to slap you here and now." He says quietly, only so that I can hear and not the watching eyes.
I gulp, I feel like he actually would. I've pissed him off pretty badly, even if it wasn't my fault for spilling the drink.
He then turns to Glimmer and gives her a sickly sweet smile, "I'm so sorry baby, let me get that for you." He says, grabbing a napkin. He then proceeds to dab it on her breasts, claiming he's only trying to dry her shirt.
"Can you pass me a napkin as well?" I ask quietly, staring at the floor as I shiver, the cold water freezing my body. It doesn't help that it is only 20 degrees outside and this place's heater isn't the strongest, not to mention the door keeps opening and closing.
He stops what he's doing and rolls his eyes, "You have two arms and two legs, get it yourself. This is your fault anyways."
I don't know why I'm all of the sudden being so bold, and I'm not exactly liking it.
"You're right there! Just get the damn napkin!" I exclaim, immediately covering my mouth after.
Oh no.
Not at good idea. Not a good idea at all.
Gloss' eyes light up in rage and he walks to me. I step back but he grabs my already bruised wrists and cuts off the circulation from his iron grip.
"How many times do I have to warn you, you're getting very out of hand. I may just have to mention this to your father," he threatens. I can tell he's trying his hardest not to slap me right here, right now.
I whimper as he grips my wrists tighter than before, "I'm sorry, don't tell my dad. Please." I have to hold back my tears from how hard he is gripping me.
Why isn't anyone helping me?
Then again, when do they ever?
"Sometimes I question why I stay with you, apparently I love you. I don't know how, you're pathetic." He whispers harshly. "You're worthless."
Now my tears are flowing freely.
"Just let me go," I request in fear. I don't know how far he will go in public, but I know I will pay greatly for this later. After all I just used up my third strike.
"What if I don't, what are you going to do about it?" He asks in anger and amusement.
All of the sudden I feel a strong figure behind me and I hear a deep and angered voice.
"Then I will make you. It was an accident, she said sorry, and all she did was ask you for a napkin. Let her go." The gruff voice demands.
To my utmost surprise, Gloss does release me. I pull my wrists to my chest and begin to lightly massage them, they are already a gross purplish blue color. The mystery man steps in front of me in a protective way, completely shocking me. He's tall, much taller than Gloss. Which may be why he let go of me.
"And who the hell are you?" Gloss snarls.
"Peeta," he replies shortly.
Peeta. I recognize that name from somewhere, and I recognize his voice.
Before Gloss has a chance to respond, Peeta turns around and I look up to meet his eyes. When I do, a gasp escapes my lips.
I'm expecting his eyes to be hard and cold like his voice had been when he was addressing Gloss, but they aren't. They aren't at all... They are a soft blue, and are looking at me softly, the only thing filling them is concern. Not anger like I assumed.
"Are you alright?" He asks, and I'm surprised when his voice is as soft as his eyes. Nothing like how he had spoken to Gloss.
I don't answer, I'm still slightly in a daze. No one has ever defended me when Gloss does these things. Especially no one this attractive.
"She's fine!" Gloss snaps, walking around Peeta to grab my arm.
Peeta's soft and gentle blue eyes immediately turn cold and icy as soon as Gloss touches me. His grip back on my wrists, I have to try my hardest to keep in my groan of pain.
"I asked her, not you."
His voice changed back to how it had before too.
"Well I'm answering." Gloss retorts.
"Look, just leave Katniss alone. She hasn't done anything wrong." Peeta says somewhat calmly.
Wait, how does he know my name?
"Yes she did! She spilled water everywhere!" Gloss exclaims, glaring at me.
Peeta narrows his eyes, "It was an accident, and she said she was sorry, didn't she?"
"I guess." Gloss mutters.
"Then let her go." Peeta growls in a menacing tone.
And again, Gloss let's me go, shocking me to no end and bringing back the circulation in my arm. I look down at it and see yet another bruise, this one isn't as bad as my wrists though.
Peeta then walks closer to me. "Katniss, do you want to leave? I can take you home or wherever." He asks me softly.
How does he know my name? And why do I feel like I recognize him?
I nod, and he smiles. I think I just swooned, oh my gosh this boy is attractive. He begins to usher me towards the door by placing his hand on my lower back very gently and not at all how Gloss has done before. Before we exit though, he takes off his leather jacket and gives it to me, most likely noticing me shivering and my chattering teeth.
Gloss hollers after me, "We'll deal with this later." He doesn't come after me, that's a first. But his words scare me, i's never a good thing when he said that.
The amount of relief I feel when we exit the cafe is the most I've ever felt in my life.
Peeta leads me to his car but before we reach it I stop. This guy may be super attractive, and he may have defended me, but he's a stranger nonetheless.
He stops with me and gives me a confused look, then realization seeps into his face.
"Oh, you don't remember me, do you?" He asks, putting his hands in his pockets sheepishly.
"I recognize you a little, I just don't know from where..." I say, "I'm sorry."
He chuckles, "Well we haven't met formally so I guess I can't blame you... I used to go to your school, I graduated last year. Now I'm going to a community college." He says, smiling at me. "I was in your gym."
That's where I recognize him from! "Oh! Now I remember you!" I say, a smile forming on my lips for the first time in a few months. I do really remember him, I remember having a crush on him last year before I got with Gloss.
He looks down at his shoes with a shy smile, and then his eyes darken. They turn into a shade close to the color of the night sky as opposed to their previous baby blue. My eyebrows knit together in confusion and I follow his gaze to see that he is looking at my wrists.
"I didn't realize he was gripping you that hard," he says quietly, his jaw clenched.
I lift them up, and his eyes stay trained on them.
"It's not that bad, it's been wors-" I shut myself up before I say anymore.
Peeta's eyes snap to mine.
"I mean it doesn't hurt much," I mutter, looking down.
"Well..." Peeta says quietly, "Let's get some ice on it."
We get in his car, but he doesn't ask me for my address. We end up going to his apartment, which is definitely fine by me. Anything is better than going to my house where my drunk father awaits my arrival, his fist clenched and ready to unleash his fury on me.
When we get to Peeta's apartment, he leads me into the living room. I stay silent as he gets the two ice packs, he walks back and kneels in front of me before setting them gently on my wrists. I wince, causing him to flinch.
"I'm sorry, I'm being as gentle as I can." He says.
"Don't be sorry, you're helping me." I say. "I never did say thank you, did I?" I ask, looking at him.
"You don't need to, I'm only doing what needed to be done. I didn't like seeing him treat you that way." He says, his eyes narrowed as he focuses his attention on trying to get the ice packs to stay.
"But you barely know me."
He pauses for a second, "I know you better than you think." He says softly under his breath, I don't think I was supposed to hear him. So I don't say anything. Then louder he says, "Well, still. I'm sure I'm not the only person who would have helped you."
"Thank you."
He finally manages to get the ice packs to stay and sits next to me. He's quiet for a few moments before he turns to me, all of the sudden serious.
"I'm sorry, but I have to ask; is he your boyfriend?"
I look down at my lap, "Sadly yes."
Peeta cocks a perfect eyebrow, "Sadly?" He echoes.
I shake my head, "Yeah, sadly." I repeat.
"You don't want to be with him?"
I turn my head to look at Peeta, who seems... hopeful?
"What do you think?" I ask him quietly.
His eyes soften and then flick to my wrists. "Why do I get the feeling this isn't the only thing he's done to you?" He asks me sadly and quietly as his eyes look back into mine.
"Because it isn't," I whisper, and his face takes on a solemn look.
I can't believe I just said that.
Gloss is going to kill me! He made me promise never to tell anyone or else.
Peeta must see the panic in my eyes because he takes my hand.
"Kat, don't worry. He can't hurt you here." He reassures.
"Maybe not now, but what happens when I go home? When I see him tomorrow at school? Oh my gosh, I never should have even come here! I should have just taken my punishment as usual." I say, burying my face in my hands. Then realization seeps into me, I did it again.
"Punishment?" Peeta asks, I peek at him through my fingers and see his eyebrows narrowed and knitted together.
"Forget I said anything," I mumble, running my hands through my hair.
He stays quiet for some time, and I slowly calm down. I'm okay for now, if I'm lucky I won't see Gloss tonight and my dad will give me a break.
"I'm not stupid, Katniss. I know what goes on." Peeta says tightly, causing me to snap my eyes to him. He's staring intently at the table in front of us, his eyes unwavering as he looks at the piece of wood. "I'm sure you were wondering how I remembered you, considering we only had gym together, and that's nothing at all. Not to mention the fact it's been a whole year... Well, I know more about you than you think. I watched you last year, you caught my eye. I noticed every little thing you did, and I noticed every little bruise on you."
No... I hid those. I've hidden every one of them.
"I noticed that every time someone came up to you, you would look down at the floor as if you weren't worthy of being in their presence. Whenever you heard yelling it seemed as if you wanted to just shrink away, even if the yelling wasn't towards you. Every time a ball was thrown anywhere around you, you would flinch and close your eyes tight, your jaw clenched so tightly as if you were awaiting a blow... That's when I began to watch you very closely, and I started to see the bruises. Yeah you covered them up along your arms, but I could see the makeup littering them. I could see right through your attempt to conceal the truth. The times you lifted your hands above your head to stretch, your shirt would come up, revealing the dark purple and blue blotches." His voice is tight and hard.
I turn to look at him and see his jaw clenched, his eyes even look a little glassy. His eyes don't waver from his strict gaze.
"I always wanted to talk to you, see what was wrong. Ask how you got injured, although I think I knew why from the beginning. Every day, every day I was so very tempted to walk over to you. But I knew you were dating that Gloss guy... I don't know, I should have gone up to you. I could have been your friend at least, I could have helped. I could have prevented another year of your abuse..." He ends quietly and slowly.
I gulp, my eyes wide.
He knows.
"I could have ended the cruelty you are receiving from your so called boyfriend. I could have ended you two, so that you would be free of him. I would have helped break those chains that hold you to his darkness and anger. I would have been the friend that you needed." His voice is almost at a whisper now, "I don't know about your life at home, but I'm willing to bet my life that the same shit goes on there. I'm bet you get beaten at home as well."
I don't answer him, I'm too shocked to say anything right now. This is a lot to take in. Then Peeta abruptly turns to me, his eyes meeting mine. His are still light, but they are serious and hopeful.
"I didn't help you then, but I'm going to help you now. I saw you in that cafe with him, and my heart skipped a beat. Just because I graduated already doesn't mean I forgot about the special girl in my gym, oh no. I haven't gone a day without thinking about you, like I said before, you're captivating. You've grabbed my attention and haven't let go. When I saw you two quarrel, I knew that was it. No more watching you from afar, watching you take the abuse I had always assumed you endured. No, I've made my decision. I honestly think I made it long ago, I'm going to help you, Katniss, I'm going to get you out of the mess you're in." He concludes strongly.
I'm speechless, the breath has been knocked out of me. He wants to help me? He wants to be my friend?
"Why would you want to help someone like me? Why would you waste your time?" I finally manage I ask.
His eyes soften, and takes my hand gently in his. "Why would I want to help you? Because I find you pretty amazing as a matter of fact, and because I'm attracted to you. It wouldn't be wasting my time, wasting my time would be not helping you."
I'm so confused, I'm amazing? He's attracted to me?
"You... you actually want to help me?"
He smiles softly and takes my hand, "Of course, all I ask is that you let me. That you give me the chance to protect you, to be your friend."
I can't get any words out from pure shock, so I nod.
Peeta POV
I wish so badly just to tell her now, tell her how I feel about her. But I know now is not the time, she hasn't healed yet. My journey to save this wonderful soul, this angel, has only just begun, she isn't ready for my feelings. To admit anything to her would only result in scaring her. She's confused, I can tell.
She hasn't been complemented this way before, hasn't been spoken to like an equal. I know only from her reactions and the way Gloss talked to her today. She wouldn't understand anyways, the idea of how I feel is foreign to her. She's only ever experienced hate, but in her mind, hate is love.
She doesn't even know what love is. I can't admit anything to her until I help her find out, until I save her.
Katniss POV
That night he didn't take me home, we stayed at his apartment. To prevent overwhelming me, he told me we would talk more about just how he was going to help me in the morning. He gives me his bed and he takes the couch to give me my privacy.
Before he walked down the hall to the living room, he gave me some old sweats and a baggy t-shirt. That night, I slept with no nightmares. It was the only full nights rest I've had in who knows how long.
xxx
It's been only two weeks, and already Peeta convinced me to file a police complain about my parents. That resulted in a two day investigation that soon ended in the both of them going to jail. Since I'm already 18, I have the permission to live where ever. Peeta, being the saint he is, immediately offered for me to stay with him. I humbly agreed, after a lot of convincing on his part that it was more than okay and that he wanted me to stay with him.
Peeta even helped me break up with Gloss. No, he didn't do it for me, but he had asked me if I wanted to stay with Gloss. When I answered with a no, he helped me gain the confidence to break the poisonous relationship off. The day I finally ended it with him is a day I'm always going to remember.
Gloss came to me at school when Peeta dropped me off, so I had put my training into action.
"Alright, there he is. I want you to walk over there, more than likely he will stop you. And do what we have rehearsed, and don't worry, if he even puts a hand on you, I'm right here. I'll be over there busting his jaw in the blink of an eye." Peeta told me as we pulled up. "Are you sure this is what you want to do? I don't want to pressure you into anything, don't do this for me. Do it for you, only if you want." He said seriously.
I nodded, "This is something I need and want to do, and I would never have had the courage to do it without you. Thank you." I took a deep breath, "I can do this."
He smiled and gave me a hug, "Of course you can."
As soon as I exited the car, Gloss was there. Even though Peeta was only a few feet away, I was still petrified. I had the right to, he's made my life a living hell.
"W-what do you want." I had asked, trying to sound at least a little confident.
He smirked, the same smirk that has woken me up night after night in a cold sweat, tears streaming down my cheeks.
"You. I wasn't very happy when you left me at the cafe like that, babe. I mean I love you, which means you have to stay with me." He said cockily and darkly, his eyes narrowed as he took a step closer.
I didn't flinch, I was expecting him to.
"You don't love me, Gloss. We both know it." I said, if I can get through this without yelling then I will be very grateful.
"No, I love you. Which is why you can't go around whoring it up with just any guy you meet. Especially that Peter dude." He said in disgust.
"Peeta." I said louder, then quieter. "...His name is Peeta."
"I don't give a shit what his name is, because you won't be seeing him anymore. Need I remind you, you're mine?" He snarled, grabbing my arm and making me whimper in pain.
Behind me I heard the car door burst open, but with my free arm I motioned to Peeta to stay back. This was something I needed to do without him.
"No Gloss, I don't belong to you. Whatever we had, is over. I'm done, I'm moving in with Peeta. He's offered me his home, so that I don't have to put up with you and your abuse. Yes, he knows. No, I didn't tell him. He's smart, he figured it out." I said, my body stiffened as I saw the rage build in Gloss' eyes.
"We'll be over when I say we're over. Now come on, I don't want to be late. Worthless slut..." He muttered the last part, gripping my arm tighter as he began to drag me towards the school and farther away from Peeta.
No.
"No. I meant what I said. We're done." I said firmly, ripping my arm from his grasp.
He whipped to me, surprised I ever spoke back.
"That's it, I've been waiting to be able to do this again. My fists have been begging to meet your face once again." He growled, and before I knew it he was lifting his hand and began to swing it down. Hard.
I closed my eyes and flinched, waiting for the blow that was bound to happen. But to my surprise it never came.
I slowly opened my eyes to see Peeta standing over me, gripping Gloss' wrist as tight as Gloss once held mine.
"You heard her. Now leave." He snarls, the angriest I've ever heard him.
Gloss eyes Peeta up, and then they embark on a long staring match. Peeta's eyes show anger and venom for Gloss, while Gloss' show fear and uncertainty.
Then after forever, Gloss breaks the gaze and looks to the side in anger and defeat.
"Fine, I was getting tired of her anyways." He muttered, stalking away and onto his next victim.
Peeta then turned to me and hugged me, "Are you alright?" He asked.
I nodded against his chest. "Thank you."
Then it hit me, I was free. I wasn't bound to Gloss anymore, he couldn't hurt me any longer. And it was all because of Peeta.
Peeta... Over the last two weeks we have grown closer and he's managed to help me feel a little more confident. He's managed to help me believe a little more that I'm not worthless, and then maybe I'm beautiful. It's going to take a long time for me to be completely confident in myself, but this is definitely a start.
I've sort of regained a crush on him, the feelings I had for him last year have returned. Only this time they have returned much, much stronger. I won't go so far as to say I'm in love with him, because I've only personally known him for around two weeks. I will say though that I feel very strongly of him, and my feelings aren't far from those of love. I have a feeling it's just around the corner.
Right now I'm sitting in my room with Peeta, watching a movie. He bought a new bed just three days after I moved in and we pulled it into the room next to his that was previously vacant.
We are on the bed, under the covers on this blustery day. I didn't have school since it was so cold, 8 degrees and with the wind it's -3. Peeta has his arm around my shoulders to keep me even warmer than the toasty blankets are doing. And I have my head resting on his shoulder, cuddled up to him. We are each still in our pajamas, him wearing long pants and a wife beater, while I sport girl boxers and one of his t-shirts that fits me much too large. And there's a bowl of popcorn on my lap. It couldn't get any better than this.
Our movie ends and the popcorn runs out. I don't move though, and neither does Peeta.
"Kat, are you happy here?" He asks, looking down at me. Only now do I lift my head to look at him.
"Of course, this is 100x better from the way I was living before." I say, smiling at him.
He sighs and looks away, shaking his head. "I mean with me, are you happy here with me?" His eyes wander back to mine, and he looks to be scared and hopeful of my reply.
"Is that even a question? You're like my savior, my angel, of course I love it here! I'm the happiest I've ever been when I'm with you."
He smiles, revealing a set of perfect teeth. "I am too, you bring out my best side and keep the bad away."
I stay quiet, a small blush forming on my cheeks. He chuckles, but all too soon he gets very serious.
"Listen Katniss, I know I said that I wanted to be your friend that night after the whole café incident... And truth is, I don't." He says after a few minutes of silence.
I feel my heart break, I know this was too good to be true. Gloss probably set this whole thing up, it was his idea all along. He wanted me to have a taste of happiness, a taste of freedom before he-
"I want to be much more than friends." Peeta says, snapping me out of my horrific thoughts.
His words result in me snapping my head to him, only to see him smiling gently at me.
"Even though we have only formally known each other for two weeks, I've always wanted to be more than friends with you. I just never had the courage to talk to you, now that I have, you're even more amazing than I ever imagined. The way I feel around you is indescribable, the only word I know how to describe it is love. So yes, I love you. I have since forever, I didn't tell you sooner because I didn't want to overwhelm you. Maybe I still am, but I just couldn't keep my feelings locked in my heart any longer." He says, watching my reaction very closely.
I don't know how to react. My whole life 'love' has meant nothing but beatings and screaming matches. Not once has it meant the kindness Peeta treats me with, the tenderness of his touches or the sincerity in his eyes.
"I'm not expecting you to say anything back, I just needed to tell you. And to ask you something," he says, reaching in his pocket for something. He pulls out a long black box, and uses the arm still around my shoulders to open it. "Kat, will you do me the honors of letting me call you mine?"
I gasp, not only at his words but at the necklace in front of my eyes. It's sapphire, my birthstone, and it's in the shape of a heart. I turn it in my fingers and see in very small print, a small love quote. 'Love will shine through any darkness.'
"Peeta..." I breath, taking the necklace carefully in my hands and looking at him. His kind blue eyes, awaiting my answer. "Yes, yes a million times!" I say, throwing my arms around his neck to hug him.
I can practically hear the smile lighting up his lips as he hugs me back, he buries his face in my neck and breathes in my scent. I admit I do the same. We pull apart and he takes the necklace. Without words I turn my head and pull up my hair for him to place it on me.
"Peeta, it's gorgeous. How much did this cost you?" I ask, holding the stone in my fingers.
"You don't need to worry about that, I'm just glad you like it." He says, relief evident in his voice.
"I don't like it though, I love it." I say, grinning from ear to ear as I turn back around to look at him.
"And I love you," he whispers, his eyes trained on my lips. He begins to lean in, and so do I. Our lips meet and bombs go off, the kiss has an indescribable amount of love, passion, tenderness, and happiness. It's like nothing I've ever felt before, certainly not what I could have felt with Gloss. My hands play with the hairs on the base of his neck, and his go around my waist.
When we pull apart a smile sticks to our swollen lips.
"I'll treat you right, Katniss, I'll treat you like a queen, I'll give you all the love you deserve." He whispers, pecking my lips again.
I smile softly and play with his short blonde hair, "I don't doubt that, but all I really need is you. You're more than enough."
Instead of responding, I find his lips reattaching to my own. Once we pull apart I snuggle back up to his side as the blustery day outside continues, but in the arms of Peeta I couldn't be warmer. Whether that's from his body against mine or the contentment of being with him, I don't know.
All I know is this is the happiest I've ever been, and Peeta is the reason.
Aww, yay for Everlark!
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