Chapter 11
Arielle did not like having to come here, but when her Dad called to say he might've upset her mother and couldn't get her on the phone, if she had any ideas where Jasina might've gone, she knew she had too. At first, she didn't even think Jasina would come HERE and had called Trish. Trish hadn't seen hide nor hair of her, didn't even hear from her.
She had gone to the Emerald City, knowing that was her Mom's favorite bar, nothing. She had gone to dozens of other places and finally...here. Arielle let herself in with the key she had never given back and took a deep breath, stepping into the living room. After her eyes adjusted to the dim light that came in from the covered windows, she spotted her mom laying on the couch, sound asleep, clutching a book to her.
When the book tried being pulled from Jasina's grasp, her eyes snapped open and clutched it tighter against her. Both girls let out screams of both fright and surprise. It took several moments before Jasina could clearly tell who was in the apartment with her, breathing heavily.
"Arie?" She set the album down on the couch, standing up. "What are you doing here sweetheart?" She pulled her daughter against her, hugging her tightly. "Sorry, you scared the hell out of me. Are you okay? Where's Gary?"
"Lord almighty mom, you SCARED me! And Dad! And everyone else! We've all been playin' round robin trying to get a hold of you!" Arielle hugged her again, squeezing tightly. "Dad said you left last night and he thought he upset you, but he didn't say what he did. When you didn't come back, he called me, figuring you might've come to my place." She pulled Jasina down onto the couch with her, taking her hand. "Mom, what's going on? Why'd you come...here?"
The sun barely peeking through the window curtain told Jasina she'd slept through the entire night and then some. "What time is it?" She cringed when Arielle said three in the afternoon, cursing. "Damn, I didn't mean to sleep THAT long." Jasina let out a yawn and was thankful she'd kicked her heels off sometime during the night while sleeping, otherwise her feet would be throbbing. "Your father kissed me last night after we ate dinner and...I sort of freaked out and ran out of the house." She couldn't meet Arielle's eyes, staring down at her lap, tears stinging her eyes. "I know it's been four months, but...I didn't think he felt that way about me still. I thought we were just friends and he was helping me because he felt bad or whatever. I felt guilty and that's why I came here, but that was definitely a mistake."
It took Arielle a few moments to process all that, trying to wrap her mind around her Dad kissing her Mom, which did not seem so weird all things considered. They were married and obviously were attracted to each other at one point. She was living proof of that.
"Dad probably isn't ever going to stop feelin' that way about you, Mom." Arielle said finally. "I have no idea why he kissed you though because he knows you don't feel the same anymore. Do you?"
"I-I don't know." Jasina was so confused and knew that wasn't the answer her daughter was expecting to hear, but it was all she could offer right now, standing up from the couch. "He was my first love, Arie, so of course I'm always going to feel something for him. But we don't work. We tried that for four years and all it resulted in was both of us heartbroken and Randy..." She still had a hard time saying his name, turning away as a few tears slipped down her cheeks. "Randy gave me everything your Dad didn't. He gave me hope for the future, promised me he would always be there and stitched the pieces of my heart back together that your father broke." She tossed her hands up in the air, laughing ruefully. "Your mother has officially lost her mind."
"No, not yet." Arielle said, sounding very serious and very grave, two things not normal for her.
Well, it had been after Randy's death but over the past few months, she had begun returning to normal. She would always love and miss Randy, but she also knew he would kick her ass for mourning her entire life away. Her Mom, on the other hand, that had been an entirely different sort of bond, one that couldn't heal overnight.
"Are you going to move out of the ranch?"
"I've been trying like hell to find a place and I'm coming up empty. There's nothing out there, I've looked everywhere. This apartment has a curse of some sort or something I don't know." Jasina knew she wasn't making sense and looked around her living room at all the boxes, all with Randy's name etched on them in black marker. "Your Dad even offered to knock down the wall between your room and the guest room I'm staying in, but I told him no. I wouldn't feel right. You're still his baby girl and you need a room at the ranch in case you need a place to stay. Did your Dad say anything about what he did or did he simply send you out looking for me?"
"Mom, if he wants to take down that wall, he can. I rarely stay over anymore and I'm officially moved out, it is his house." Arielle chided gently, having a feeling her Dad had been doing it to make Jasina more comfortable since the guest room as miniscule and her Mom would have probably felt weird about sleeping in HER old bedroom. "And no, he just said he upset you, I think he knew if he told me about the kissin' thing, I'd of sent Trish that way to smack him silly. He asked if I had seen you, told me he couldn't get a hold of you and I sent myself out lookin'."
"No, your Dad doesn't need to do that." Jasina waved her off dismissively, trying to wake up and knew she would need some java...at three in the afternoon. Then again, maybe not. "Arie, with me staying there, he can't mingle with other women. It would look pretty stupid for him to bring home a woman and have his ex-wife living there, don't you think?" When Arielle reluctantly nodded, Jasina was glad someone understood her point of view. "I will find my own place. I have to, especially after what happened last night between us..." It was a kiss, only a kiss, but...Jasina simply wasn't ready.
"Mom, just... out of curiosity..." Arielle began slowly, knowing her Mom wouldn't like hearing this and probably didn't need to hear it, but she was about to say it anyway. "What if dad doesn't WANT to bring home another woman? Whether you're there or not? I mean, even though you two aren't together, he could still go out on a date or somethin' or go back to some woman's place. And I don't think he has."
"It's none of my business if he does or not. You're right, I suppose he could go on a date if he wanted to..." So why hadn't Mark gone out to find another woman? Shayla was the only woman that he tried having any kind of relationship with and after the blowup at Arielle's graduation party, it was almost as if he'd given up. "I'm sorry I worried all of you, the kiss just...caught me off guard, I wasn't expecting it..." Jasina also didn't expect the intense feelings that came with that kiss, all the feelings and love rushing back combined with the guilt she felt over Randy's death.
Definitely wasn't a good combination.
"So, if it was just a kiss, why'd you run Mom?" Arielle asked curiously. She knew her Mom still thought of Randy, but running because of a kiss seemed a bit...stupid to her. So she figured she was either just really young or totally missing something here. "Why not just co-cock him one? Or did you feel bad? Or maybe you liked it and that makes you feel guilty?" Arielle also might have been watching Dr. Phil again too much.
"Stop watching those stupid programs that fill your head with false notions of what a relationship is supposed to be." Jasina ordered, rolling her eyes when Arielle waved her off, sighing heavily as she walked into the kitchen to get some water. "I was shocked, Arie. I was legitimately shocked and had to get out for just a little while. I suppose I felt guilty because Randy has only been gone for four months. We were together for only four months, which doesn't compare to the four years I was with your father, not including before you were born either." Jasina knew she had to stop rattling, closing her eyes and gulped down some much needed water, her throat suddenly dry.
"Sure it compares Mom, you can love more than one person and you can love them differently but just as intensely." Arielle said, not quoting her daytime shows, but actually speaking directly from herself. "Are you still going to move out of the ranch?" She asked next, knowing if Jasina would, that kiss would probably ensure she somehow found a new place within the next week or two. "You're not...movin' back here, are you?"
"I don't know what I'm going to do right now. I'm gonna still keep looking because I can't live with your father forever. It's just...weird." She didn't know what other word to use, rubbing the back of her neck to try to ease some of the tension from sleeping on her old couch. "It just doesn't feel like home, you know? I want a place that feels like home with my taste and style. I don't feel that at the ranch and I don't think I ever did, even when I moved in for that week." The only question Jasina really wanted answered was why Mark had kissed her in the first place.
What was going through that stubborn bull-headed brain of his?
"You and Dad are so good together though, it's like you're married, but you're not, you know?" Arielle shook her head, flipping her hair back behind her shoulders. "You two should just rent a house in town and split it down the middle. He doesn't like livin' alone and I don't think you do either." This would explain why her Mom couldn't find a place to live because, honestly, with the money Jasina had, finding a suitable new apartment or even a house shouldn't have been a problem.
"Rent a house in town and split it down the middle?"
Jasina actually contemplated that, knowing Mark loved his ranch because of all the property. She suddenly remembered the patch of land he'd shown her four years ago on their first date. He was thinking of building something out that way, though Mark never had, for what reason Jasina didn't know.
"We get along better apart than we ever did together, which is crazy because everyone assumes we are a couple." That didn't make a lick of sense and Jasina felt like bashing her head against a wall, sighing. "I'll figure it out, but the first thing I need to do is talk to your Dad."
"Uh yeah, that would be great because he hasn't stopped texting me the entire time I've been here. My ass is going numb from the constant vibratin'." Arielle said, reaching into her back pocket to pull out her cell phone, her confidence that it was her Dad proven right by his name on every text. "Oh wait, one is from Trish, just one though. You want me to call them and let them know everything is kosher?"
"Call your Dad and tell him I'll be there shortly. I'll call Trish, kill two birds with one stone."
She hugged Arielle again, kissing the top of her head before stepping outside, needing some fresh air. Jasina wasn't surprised when Trish answered on the first ring, cringing when she began screaming and had to hold the phone away from her ear. All Jasina could hear was something about thinking her maid of honor was dead -the wedding was just a few months away- and missing work without any explanation. When Jasina was sure Trish had blown all of her stack, she slowly put the phone back to her ear.
"I'm sorry Trish, I didn't mean to worry anyone. It was a complete accident..."
"You running off in the night and not taking anyone's phone calls, worrying us all half to death, was an accident?" Trish echoed, the anger draining from her tone since she had pretty much gotten it all out already. "Jas, why didn't you come here or something? Where ARE you anyway? I'm assuming Arielle found you or you seen that I tried to blow up your cell."
"I'm at my old apartment. I came here last night because...something happened and I had to leave the ranch for a few hours. I was only planning on being gone for a few hours and...Something lead me here..." Jasina knew it was the guilt of Randy's death that consumed her day and night, but wasn't about to admit that to anyone. "I did bring my phone with me, but I forgot to take it off of vibrate and...Ended up falling asleep on the couch."
"Why did you have to leave the ranch?" Trish demanded, sometimes too observant for her own good. "What happened? Did Mark bring a woman home or something?"
Jasina sighed heavily and closed her eyes, her lips still tingling from Mark's kiss. "Mark kissed me...and I freaked out, left the ranch and came here..."
"WHAT?" Trish actually kind of wished Mark had brought home another woman because that would have probably been a little bit easier for Jasina to deal with -not to mention more expected- than a kiss. After taking a deep breath, she apologized for screaming, again. "So, he...kissed you. WHY did he kiss you?"
"How the hell should I know?" Jasina shot back, the frustration built up ever since the kiss happened. "I didn't even know he still felt anything romantic for me. I mean we do have a daughter together, so there's bound to be some feelings left over along with love. I will always love him, but..." Jasina looked back over her shoulder, seeing Arielle was still on the phone with Mark. "I can't get hurt again, Trish. I physically, emotionally and mentally can't handle anymore hurt and pain. I've been contemplating going celibate actually..."
"You have absolutely NO idea why he kissed? It just happened right out of the blue?"
"We were talking and teasing each other like always, all in good fun. We ate dinner and I stood up to put my plate in the sink, only for him to follow, turn me around and kiss me."
The conversation they had and things mentioned might've had something to do with it, but there was no way Jasina was telling anyone that...EVER. Maybe she had egged Mark on a little, but again she never expected him to actually kiss her! Maybe a slap on the ass or something teasing like that, but a kiss...Jasina had been totally shocked and bolted, that was the bottom line.
"I really need to get my own place before I end up in another bad situation. Mark and I are finally getting along and not ripping each other's throats out. I don't want to go back to hating him again, Trish."
Trish could read between the lines pretty well and knew there was a lot Jasina wasn't saying, but not about to even contemplate what kind of talking and teasing they were getting up to in order for Mark to decide a kiss was a pretty good idea. "Well..." She coughed, clearing her throat. "Maybe it wouldn't be like that again, Jasina. You've both changed." Obviously.
"Now I know you've lost your mind and I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that."
Had Trish really forgotten how much pain and hurt Jasina and Mark caused each other?
Mark didn't want to get married and settle down, she'd been with him for four years and absolutely nothing happened. Jasina had fought not to let it bother her, but then Randy came along and completely turned her world upside down in a good way. She thought she would end up marrying Randy, but that wasn't in the cards for them.
"Mark and I don't work and we don't belong together. Not to mention it's only been four months since Randy..." Jasina forced his name out, taking a deep breath. "I'm not ready and I don't know if I'll ever be."
"So...it stands to reason then, that talking and teasing, with Mark, might be a bad idea then?" Trish suggested, coming back in a roundabout way to the reason Jasina had taken off like a bat out of hell. "Because either he got caught up in what he thought was a heated moment or he thinks you're ready to start...um, well, he thinks you're ready."
"That's why I need to get my own place immediately."
Jasina knew Trish was right and knew she definitely wasn't ready to be in another relationship with any man, whether it was Mark or not. Ted had actually asked her out and Jasina declined. He turned his attention to Eve and they both hit it off well thankfully.
"I did tease him, I'm not going to deny it, but it was only because he was teasing me..." She groaned, hearing Trish laughing and knew that was the WRONG thing to say. "Never mind, I need my own place so please keep your eyes and ears open."
"Oh sure, I'll do that." Trish clucked her tongue, the amusement in her tone very clear. "So he was teasing you and you decided to get a little revenge, hmm?" She couldn't help poking a little fun at her friend, hearing Jasina growl and decided to save it for later. "Alright, alright I'm done, I'll behave."
Meanwhile, Arielle was giving her Dad the third degree, or trying to at least…
"Why did you kiss her?"
"At the time, it seemed like a damn good idea."
"Well, Dad, your damn good idea wasn't such a damn good idea." Arielle scolded, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "You confused Mom to hell and back!"
Mark blew into the phone. Great.
"So, new rule, if she moves back...no more kissing her. Got me? It's not good for her emotionally."
"You've been watchin' Dr. Phil again, haven't you?"
"Why'd you kiss her?" Arielle tried asking again.
"I can't tell you." Mark was NOT about to tell Arielle about the conversation they had or the mutual teasing they had put each other through before he jumped the gun.
"So I'm to assume you kissed her because you're a moron then, Daddy dearest?"
"Arielle Marie, why don't you come out here and visit me awhile?" Mark suggested through gritted teeth. She wasn't too old to get her ass whooped. "I'll give you an ass paddlin' that'll make you think twice before talkin' to me like ya are now."
"Mom, I'm going to KILL Dad!" Arielle shrieked, storming back inside. "He thinks it's okay to give me an ass paddlin'!"
"Did you forget you're still on the damn phone with me girl?!"
"Oops!" Arielle hung up.
"I'm going to kill Trish too for making fun of me." Jasina smirked when Trish scoffed over the phone, promising to call later and hung up, mother and daughter looking at each other flabbergasted. "Your father won't touch you, but I wouldn't go back to the ranch right away." She suggested, walking back inside the apartment to grab her purse and car keys, wondering what the hell she was going to say Mark when she got to the ranch. "What did your Dad have to say?"
"Besides a whole lotta nothin' and threatening to bust my behind? Mostly nothing. He was just worried about you, wanted to know you were alright, if you were coming back, that sort of thing." Arielle rolled her eyes, scooping her SUV keys out of her front pocket, jingling them thoughtfully. "What'd Trish say? I seen you holdin' the phone away from your ear, she did the screaming thing, didn't she?"
"She screamed at me and then some." Jasina muttered, though she knew she deserved it, both of them walking out locking the door behind them. She did grab the album that Randy made with her and Arielle's pictures, one of his final gifts, refusing to leave it behind. "Well your Dad won't need to worry long because I'm on my way to go see him." They hugged, Arielle needing to get back home to Gary, knowing he must've been worried too. "Tell Gary I'm sorry, okay?"
"I will. Try not to have anymore panic attacks, okay? Because if Dad calls me again, I'm going to tell him to go out huntin' you himself." Arielle was only half-kidding as she pulled away. "I actually need to get to work, Gary is probably still waitin' on me, unless he took his car...Alright Mom, I gotta go, I love you, be good!" Laughing, she waved and then jogged to her SUV, wondering just what her parents were going to do with themselves. "Probably have a bunch of awkward moments." She muttered, pulling out on the road.