Chapter 22

"Sure."

Jasina knew what Mark was doing and kept the smile on her face, even though it didn't reach her eyes, slipping her hand into his as he guided her to the dance floor. Just as his arm looped around her waist, 'Four Seasons of Loneliness' by Boyz II Men came floating out of the speakers. It was one of Jasina's favorites and she wondered if it was coincidental.

"I know what you're doing, Calaway." She murmured softly, reaching up to grip his arm lightly while he took her other hand, their eyes meeting as they began dancing, the song speaking volumes of its own.

His luminescent green eyes were innocent as he stared down at her. "Dancin' with the Matron of Honor?" Mark asked, the corner of his mouth quirking in just the barest hint of a grin, the grin fading as he began listening to the song.

More specifically, the words of the song.

Part of Jasina wanted to run as far away from this dance as possible, but the more she listened to the song, the more it told her and Mark's story. He had tried so hard to be there for her during the hard months after Randy's death. Jasina thought at first he was doing it to reap the benefits and take advantage of her vulnerability, which is why she fought so hard against it.

Teasing him was very wrong, Jasina didn't even know why she did it other than to get a rise out of him purposefully or maybe she did it for a different reason. Maybe she was hoping deep down that he still held some kind of feeling for her and he did because of that simple kiss in the kitchen those months ago. Jasina finally knew why she'd been so adamant about finding her own place to live and it was because she was afraid of falling in love with Mark again, falling in love again period.

Trish had turned her attention from John and was now watching the pair dance, sighing softly as she took them in. "You know who it should be out there?" She murmured, all too easily picturing another man with Jasina in his arms.

"Who?" Steve asked his newlywed bride and frowned when a few tears slipped down her cheeks, reaching over to wipe them away.

Arielle sniffled a little because she knew exactly who Trish referred to, feeling Gary's arm wrap around her shoulders, comforting her.

"Randy Orton."

John had been watching Jasina and Mark dance thoughtfully, only half-listening to the conversation from the newlyweds, Gary and Arielle, idly wondering if Trish had a problem with him or something. His attention was fully on Gary though, standing up from the table so fast his chair fell backward. They did not just mention his friend, the guy he'd been searching for since coming to Houston…had they?

"Did you say Randy Orton?" John demanded, almost smiling with relief when Gary nodded. "Man, I've been looking for him for a LONG time and he's been under my nose? You guys know him?"

"Um...we...knew him…"

John didn't catch the past tense, shaking his head at his own dumbass self. He could have asked Jasina any time if she knew a Randy Orton and hadn't, not even thinking about it. Why would she know him? Showed what he knew.

"Wait Jas and Randy are a thing?" John demanded, blue eyes wide. "Were a thing?"

Arielle's eyes were getting wider and wider, swallowing hard.

Trish swallowed hard, remembering Jasina saying that John was here to look for a friend and looked over at her newlywed husband, more tears filling her brown eyes. "Oh my god..."

"He doesn't know."

Arielle couldn't even speak, knowing her mother was about to get a rude awakening, her parents dancing no longer the center of attention. "Uhhh..."

Steve wondered what the hell they were supposed to say to John, sorrow filling his blue eyes, clearing his throat. "Come with me, son." He stood up from the table, which caught Mark's eye and John went with him outside of the reception hall.

Trish locked eyes with Mark, silently telling him not to let Jasina out of his sight until John returned, covering her mouth with her hand. "He knew Randy...and it sounds like it was personal..." She hoped Steve broke the news gently to John, excusing herself to use the restroom to clean herself up.

"Mark, what's wrong?" Jasina asked, looking up at him and had noticed a worried expression cross his face.

"Nothin' darlin'."

Mark smiled down at her, unsure of what the hell was going on over there but from the looks of it, nothing pleasant. He had seen Steve take John off and away, knowing from the incredibly sad look on his friend's face that it wasn't for a beat-down or a game of twenty-one questions. He could not think of anything that would pierce the happiness of this day for Steve or Trish unless someone had died. But all their friends and family were here and this somehow involved John.

"You're lying to me." She didn't stop dancing with him though, refusing to be rude and cause a scene at Trish and Steve's wedding, eyes narrowing slightly. "I can tell when you're lying to me. I know you better than you know yourself. What's going on?" Jasina turned her head briefly when Mark twirled her, noticing Arielle and Gary were alone at the table, wondering where John had gone.

"Darlin', if I had any idea, I would tell you, as it stands, my honest answer is: Nothin'."

Mark had no idea what was happening, therefore he could say nothing and mean it, pulling her back against him. He frowned when he saw Arielle gesturing towards the reception hall. He cleared the frown quickly, not wanting to upset Jasina anymore; she seemed to already be getting...peaky. As soon as the song was over with, she was going in search for John, knowing Trish and Steve must've said something to him to make him leave, frowning.

Don't go too deep into the flood
Don't wade too long, you'll poison my love
Don't shut me out, don't hold it all in
Don't let my venom get under your skin

Steve had no idea how to even begin other than blurting it out, taking a long, deep breath. Very carefully and slowly, Steve began explaining what happened to Randy. Including his involvement with Jasina and how their relationship came crashing down because of the plane crash. It was very hard for Steve to relive and reiterate, but John deserved that much considering how far he'd come to find his friend.

"There were no survivors, son...I'm so sorry. We tried contactin' everyone and anyone who knew Randy, but the man didn't give us much to go on." Steve explained solemnly. "He never once mentioned you or we would've contacted you immediately."

"I would have KNOWN if something happened to Randy, we were practically family." John said after a long moment of silence, his blue eyes impossibly large, his face pale. "You must...you must have the wrong Randy Orton. My buddy was about this high with brown hair and-" He trailed off when Steve began shaking his head, his hand, which was now in the air, demonstrating the height, beginning to shake.

Steve nodded solemnly, placing a heavy hand on John's shoulder, feeling the man's body trembling violently. "He was an undercover investigator for the local newspaper here in Houston. He worked for my wife, Trish. He had blue eyes, stood over six foot tall and...Jasina was in a relationship with him for four months. They loved each other deeply. Randy took a trip overseas to Australia and ended up in a plane crash." Steve had to reiterate the awful memory because John wasn't understanding, seeing the tears suddenly burn in John's eyes. "His grave is in the local cemetery here in town."

'Cause every word and every turn
Every sign points to your hurt
With every hour you're drifting further away
Come make your peace, come find your way
Come lay your wreath at the altar of change
Don't lose your step, don't break the bones
Don't shoulder your burden out there on your own

John snorted at that, not bothering to hide the tears that were flooding his eyes and down his cheeks, not ashamed of crying. Randy had been his best friend since college. Yes, they hadn't seen so much of each other over the past few years due to Randy's constant traveling and John flying back and forth from LA to Boston for talks of expanding his gym and fitness programs. However, every month at least, they spoke at least once and now, it had never crossed John's mind Randy might be dead. Not Randy.

"His ashes you mean?" John demanded bitterly, struggling to fight down the pain, the panic, the overwhelming sadness that was threatening to engulf him.

Steve could only nod, removing his hand from John's shoulder, seeing how truly broken up the man was over Randy's death. "I'm gonna head back inside, give ya sometime by yerself, son. I really am sorry...He was a really good man and Jasina loved him a lot." He left John with those thoughts and headed back inside the reception to be with his wife, stopping when Jasina came flying at him and stopped her. "Honey, you don't want to go out there right now."

"Where's John?" Jasina demanded, yanking her arm out of Steve's grasp angrily, having ran away from Mark as soon as the dance ended. "I don't know who the hell-"

"Jasina, listen to me." Steve ordered in a plea, his tone of voice grave, which immediately shocked her out of her anger. "John was searchin' for his friend, Randy...Orton."

Jasina paled instantly and felt her eyes nearly bug out of her head, staring at Steve bewildered. "W-What?"

"Jas...John was here lookin' for a friend and that friend was...it was Randy." Steve said gently, reaching out to steady her when it looked like she was about to fall heads over heels from shock. "He overheard us talkin' about Randy and...Well...he didn't know."

Steve knew he probably wasn't the right person to have told John all this, but he didn't want a bit scene either, this was a wedding. His wedding. Trish's wedding.

Jasina couldn't believe what Steve was telling her, tears filling her eyes. John was looking for HER Randy the whole time they were screwing around and having sex? Randy and John were best friends; John had missed Randy's funeral services and everything because Randy hadn't told anyone about his family and friends, including John. He never once mentioned a John Cena or else Jasina would've contacted him immediately for Randy's services.

"I-I didn't know..." Jasina stammered out, blinking as huge tears slid down her face, seeing all the sorrow in Steve's eyes. "Go back to your wedding reception, Steve. I'll find him. This is your big day, don't let this ruin it." She had to be the stronger person, wiping her tears away without musing her makeup too much and headed out to find John.

Mark arched an eyebrow at Steve when he seen Jasina taking off, having also seen her doing something to her face, frowning slightly. He wanted to ask his friend just what the hell was going on, but refrained because Steve looked troubled enough and this was a wedding, Steve and Trish' wedding. They didn't need to look anything except happy. Instead, he went for Arielle, since she was also sporting a stunned expression.

John was sitting on the ground with his back against the building, his knees drawn up and his face buried in his hands, not caring who seen him crying.

'Cause every word and every turn
Every sign points to your hurt
With every hour you're drifting further away
Don't banish me then bid me home
Don't tell me where I came undone
Don't harbor love like it's all your own
Don't linger over what you've done
Don't sink underneath the weight of when you're trying to carry way too much

When she found John, Jasina didn't go to him right away, not exactly sure what to say to him. How was she supposed to know the Randy he was referring to was the same one she had a four month relationship with and still grieved for on occasion? Jasina took her heels off and set them on the grass before making her way toward a crying John Cena, her heart breaking at the sight and could already feel tears falling of her own.

"I'm sorry, John." She finally murmured, watching his head slowly lift as tear-filled blue eyes met sorrow-filled teal.

"You knew him...all this time, he was your dead boyfriend..." John whispered raggedly, not bothering to brush away the tears that flowed down his face, knowing it wouldn't do any good as he would only cry even more. "And I never once thought of asking you if you might know him..."

Staring at her, he realized full on that this was the woman Randy had loved. The one he had said he was going to marry in one of their previous phone calls. John had never even known her name because Randy had teased him mercilessly with it, telling him to come meet her and find out himself. He had always put it off or something had come up. This was HER and John had been running around with her having one hell of a time.

Now he was paying for it.

"I know..." She lowered her eyes from his and closed them briefly, knowing Randy hated them both at that moment.

No, he was dead. He was nothing more than a spirit and spirits didn't have emotions. Jasina slowly moved until she was kneeling before John on the grass, scooting between his legs and wiped his tears away with the pad of her thumbs.

"I'm sorry, John. Randy never once mentioned anything about you because if he had, I would've called you the second I found out about the plane crash." Jasina sniffled, trying to stay strong. "Even if I did know you were a part of Randy's life...what we've been doing...I wouldn't change it, John. I wouldn't change it for anything because...he's gone and I've had a great time with you. I'll understand if you regret it because Randy was your best friend..."

"No...I don't regret it...it's...I don't know..."

John looked away from her, struggling to understand what he was feeling besides the overwhelming grief, and maybe even a hint of guilt. Definitely guilt. He knew Randy well enough to know that his friend wouldn't have wanted either him or Jasina to grieve or feel bad for what had happened between them, but that didn't stop him from feeling that way regardless.

"He loved you, really loved you...and I knew about it. I mean...I didn't know who you were at the time, but...he wanted to marry you, Jasina...and we-" He shook his head, knowing dimly that this wasn't the time to spill everything he was thinking because a lot of it was grief-induced.

"Don't say anything else, please." Jasina held her hand up to stop John from opening his mouth, taking a deep breath, knowing this was the end of their fling. He found his friend and now it was time for him to go back to Boston while she stayed here to once again pick up the pieces of her abused heart. "I understand perfectly." She leaned forward, brushing her lips against his without preamble and pulled back to stand up in front of him. "The cemetery is about fifteen minutes from here, if you want to visit his grave. It's near the back with a huge black and green mixed tombstone. Take care of yourself, John."

That was her way of saying goodbye.

And you never should have let go
You could have joined in the whole show
I never should have let go
You never should have let go
'Cause every word and every turn
Every sign points to your hurt
With every hour you're drifting further away
Now you're drifting further away
'Cause you're drifting further away
And you're drifting further away

Jasina watched him slowly nod, cracking a hesitant smile before turning and heading back inside, picking her heels up in the process. John watched her walk away and knew he should probably stop her, say something to let her know he wasn't trying to say goodbye, but...he couldn't. Everything was still too fresh and, honestly, he needed to be alone right now.

Pushing himself to his feet, John stuffed his hands in the pockets of his slacks and headed for the parking lot. Eventually he would see her again, maybe, and then they could try this conversation again. But he was hurting and had a feeling that learning who he was in relation to Randy had hurt her all over again.