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Chapter 35
Hollow
Bella felt him go.
The sensation was like a sharp tugging that pulled at her whole body, and yet held no physical force.
She stopped, bewildered for a moment, and then realization flooded in like a dark tide.
Tan and Alice were looking at her in confusion, but Bella could not see them, could not see anything except blackness before her eyes.
She felt Edward's presence – so established within her that she had ceased even to notice it – dwindling, blinking out of existence.
She felt her knees unhinge, and the gravel by the side of the road they had been following bit into her legs.
She didn't notice. Didn't care.
Bella tilted her head back and cried out denial to the uncaring stars.
Wailing, weeping, she fell to her side, curled up like a baby, uncontrollable shuddering wracking her body.
Edward was gone, gone from her and gone from the world. Gone.
Bella wept, and screamed, and it was some time before Tan could do anything more than watch.
At last, Bella's grief subsided enough for her to hear Tanya's voice calling her name, asking what was wrong.
She fought against her tears, fought against the despair threatening to engulf her completely.
Already she felt weaker, colder, more human, though she knew that she had not yet begun to revert to humanity.
How long would it be before the various gifts Edward had bestowed upon her withered away? A week? A month?
There was no time to contemplate this now. She had to get Tanya and Alice away from Carlisle. The destroyer. The dark god. The most evil being that she would ever encounter.
Edward's life for hers, but had Bella ever truly believed it would come to that? Now she knew it had indeed, and she knew as well that by staying so close to Carlisle, she was putting them all in great danger. They had to get away. She stood up, brushing herself off and sniffling.
"What is it, Bella?" Tan asked.
"It's over. He's gone." Bella's voice was hollow. Dead.
"Carlisle?" Bella laughed. The sound was without humour. She took a breath and shuddered.
"No. Didn't you listen? Carlisle is indestructible. He's a god. It would be s—stupid to even fight him." Tan looked at her, uncomprehending, and Bella felt her grief turn to anger before she could stop it.
"He's dead, don't you get it? Edward's dead, and you don't even know what that means! You don't even know what your life cost!" Tan blanched, stepped back, frightened by this sudden mood swing.
Bella saw this, felt despair well up inside her again, and covered her eyes. She could find nothing there in the darkness, no sense of Edward, nothing to comfort her. After a moment, she looked up again.
"I'm sorry, Tan. We have to go. Now. While we still can."
"Are you going to be okay, Bella?"
"It doesn't matter. Nothing matters. He's gone I owe it to Edward to make sure you and Alice are safe. After that? Nothing matters. Let's go."
They began a hurried dash along the road, glancing frequently behind them, expecting that Carlisle would show up at any moment to finish them all.
Eventually they realized that he was not coming, that he would indeed honour his bargain with Edward and let them go, and so they slowed to a walk, waiting for headlights, waiting for someone who would pull over. Someone Alice could make short work of.
Someone with a car.