Oh my goodness, Madison is actually going to finish this story. What a shocker :p.
Yes, hi I am FINALLY back after what has felt like forever. I will sincerely apologize for the delay in posting this chapter. I was/still am so motivated to write this story, but unfortunately hit one of the biggest roadblocks I have ever encountered. I hated how OOC everything has to be for the first little while, I hated every word of my writing, and I was just convinced that this whole thing would just be an utter failure. So for weeks I refused to write. But now, my motivation is back and I've chosen to just have faith in my work. Plus, I missed writing for you all so, so much.
Alright, well most of you said that you like the long ANs so there's going to be a doozy of a one at the bottom. A lot is introduced in this chapter, but I do want to clarify some things before you read. 1) There is the slightest hint of slut-shaming that occurs in this chapter. Please note that this belief SHOULD be considered misguided and wrong and you should feel sorry for the character that expresses those views. This is not something I believe in at all and you should be able to pick up why this character feels that way. I promise that Elena will soon learn that it is wrong to think this way and I hope I never write something that comes off like that again. 2) There is some religion talk in this chapter. I highly suggest you read through the whole thing and then read my more thorough author's note at the bottom where I can help you understand why it's necessary. I will point out that this chapter, given its location, will be the only chapter that discusses it to this high of a degree, but just a fair warning. I really hope that doesn't deter you in any way.
Okay, after all that seriousness, I really hope you enjoy this chapter. Please leave your reviews regardless!
September 2006, Part Two:
"Facing it, always facing it, that's the way to get through. Face it." – Joseph Conrad
Elena nervously tugged on her skirt as she scurried up the steep steps of the church. She desperately wanted to swear as her new routine of makeup and hair was causing her to be incredibly late, but she was on holy ground now. Flinging open the heavy wooden door, she immediately regretted wearing heels. She hadn't considered the tiled floors and after only two steps into the sanctuary, all heads had already whipped around to her.
Elena flushed instantly, whispering an apology under her breath that only she could hear, and grabbed a nearby bulletin. Thankfully, it was only the prelude, but from the ill-amused faces of the congregation, she'd seriously disturbed whatever moment of peace they were having with their Lord. Your Lord, she corrected. Stop thinking like your parents for once.
It might have been late September, but the Southern heat was still in full effect and her rush to get to the service in time had caused beads of sweat to drip from her hairline. She clearly didn't have time to check her reflection in the mirror, but she was fairly sure the shoddy makeup job was for naught. Elena, trying to make as little noise as possible, sat down in the first available seat she could find. The church must have been popular given that the last two pews were the only places available.
Thankfully, the older woman sitting next to her gave her a smile rather than a glare as she clumsily settled into her seat. Elena brushed her long hair out of her face and smoothed the full skirt of her white dress down on her thighs, making the best effort to sit properly and only crossing her ankles. She took a deep breath and finally allowed herself her first real view of the room.
The sanctuary was much larger than she'd expected, with two side wings near the front hosting even more seating. It was clear that exorbitant amounts of money had been invested in the upkeep of the older building. Personal wealth must have been something valued amongst the church members.
Different. Everything was just so different.
Although the whole point of Elena leaving home was to get away from a crippling religion, she'd learned over the past month or so that she couldn't just quit cold turkey. She knew enough about Christianity to like its message, or at least the message the "real world" followed. And with the severe amount of loneliness she'd been facing lately, she needed something comforting, something grounding. And so, much to the disgruntled chagrin of her roommate, Elena had woken up early, gotten as pretty as she possibly could, and made her way to the closest church near her dorm.
The sweat was becoming uncomfortable and noticeable as her body took its sweet time adjusting to the air-conditioned building. Elena fidgeted, already cringing at the idea of the sweat stains more than likely forming on her yellow cardigan. Every part of her wanted to remove the offending garment, but the cotton eyelet fabric of her dress only covered part of her shoulders. And it may have had a high, full neckline that rose to her collarbone, but it was stylized with only two straps to show off her back. It wouldn't be appropriate to expose that much skin in a church.
But maybe not. Of course, it's what Elena had always been taught, but after glancing at the rest of the girls her age in the congregation, she realized her dress wouldn't even be close to the most scandalous. She noted countless strapless necklines, many of which were low-cut enough to push the girls' cleavages out for display. One girl at the end of one of the rows closer to the pulpit had a hemline so short that Elena was convinced she couldn't bend over in it. While Elena had tried to look good for the occasion because it was respectable to show your best, these girls seemed to treat church as if it were a fashion show. Elena felt terrible for the men in the congregation. They must have been fighting so much sin when they only came to praise God.
Elena took a deep breath and her muscles tensed as she slowly slid the cardigan off of her shoulders and down her arms. She folded the fabric neatly in her lap and then placed it on top of her purse on the floor. Elena dared to look at the older woman next to her, expecting a judgmental glare, but the woman had barely seemed to notice. Or she must not have cared.
Elena felt her pulse race as it finally sunk in. What she'd been raised in, what she had always been told was right… it was the complete antithesis of this church. She'd always known that her childhood religion had been wrong or at least misguided. But the more she sat in this normal church, the more she began to recognize her entire childhood as a lie. Elena swallowed, her throat unnaturally dry, as the intrinsic guilt began to kick in. How dare you think that, a voice in the back of her head spoke up (one that sounded oddly like her mother). Your family's faith protected you from a cold, cruel world. Your ungratefulness and sin will only destroy you.
The congregation suddenly stood around her as one of the leaders had instructed. Elena weakly rose to her feet, her knees trembling as the pit of her stomach tightened. She had to get out of there. The idea of comfort she'd been so desperately seeking was never going to come from here. Religion had never been comfortable. It had only made her feel weak and worthless, ashamed of every last thought that had run through her head. The air-conditioning blasting on her exposed back felt taunting as words like whore returned to her memory. All of the hate she'd been surrounded with filled her lungs, imagining all of the cruel things her father would insinuate about this group of privileged people. They're worshipping the devil and they don't even know it, he'd say in his gravely voice. Satan had led them to believe that they can go on living as scum on the earth as long as they sing a few songs every Sunday.
Elena scrunched her eyes shut, trying to regain her breath. She was bending down to grab her belongings, prepared to race back to her dorm as fast as possible, when suddenly the aisle next to her was filled with a processing choir. The words of a familiar joyous hymn rang out amongst the lofted ceilings and stained glass windows. Elena gulped, knowing her exit plan was ruined. Her shaking hands and body made her wish she could just disappear.
"Would you like to share?"
Elena's head whipped around to the woman next to her. The words had come out as a whisper and she was raising the book like an offering. She had to be at least seventy-five years old, but her gentle eyes and kind smile were nothing like the elders from Elena's old church.
Elena took a shaky breath, delicately tugging on her skirt again as she reached with trembling fingers to grasp the left side of the hymnal. "Thank you," she whispered back. The woman winked at her, but her eyes quickly shifted back to the lines of music, almost immediately finding their place in the song. The woman's voice rang out loud and clear amidst the hundreds in the room. She wasn't very gifted, but the genuine effort she placed forward was vibrant.
Elena scanned the text, her eyes taking a bit more time to find the current position. She cleared her throat once she did locate the proper lyrics and, nervously, began to sing along. As she noticed before, the words were familiar. She was positive she'd sung them before back home. So their hymns are the same, Elena thought. What does that even mean?
As the service continued, Elena was able to find more similarities amidst all that was brand new. Those speaking were a bit more colloquial in tone, the pastor greeting the congregation with a big smile and offerings of peace and hope in the Lord, but his message wasn't too far off. There was God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit, but it lacked the hellfire and brimstone she was far too familiar with. Sin was bad and so was the devil, but those with good intentions and good hearts were going to be okay.
And although Elena was still wholly convinced that her religious beliefs had been ripped apart and she was only left with smoldering remains, she finally found that comfort which she'd been seeking. It was tenuous and fragile, but for just an hour, Elena could finally feel safe. She didn't feel so alone.
"Can you please look like you actually want to be here?" Rose whined, adjusting her headband in the mirror hung up in the parlor. Damon nursed the watered down lemonade she'd brought to him earlier, wishing they hadn't run out of coffee on a day like today. He made a mental note to grab Starbucks after they were done being "respectable members of the community."
"I'm not that good of an actor," Damon whispered mockingly, leaning over so that old Mrs. Washington wouldn't hear the blasphemous sarcasm.
Rose glanced over at him, unable to keep the smirk off of her face. She rolled her eyes, deciding instead to yank the headband out of her short hair and shove it into her large designer tote bag. "Look, when your mother's happy, everyone's happy. Just remember that the next time you decide to continuously sigh through Elizabeth's physical therapy stories."
Damon smirked, leaning over to peck his fiancée on the lips, but before he could come even a few inches near her face, her head shot back.
"Not in church, Damon!" she clucked. Her head whipped around, checking for anyone who might be eavesdropping. When her gaze was focused back on him, she had a mischievous glint in her eye. "Save it for later." She punctuated her provocative words with a wink.
Damon gave a mocking glance, even though her words had left him affected. "Naughty girl," he shot back, eliciting a giggle.
Damon could finally find a reason to smile during this boring mandatory meet-and-greet. Rose had become the perfect partner-in-crime for these ridiculous societal standards he was required to partake in. It was partly because they'd had such similar backgrounds growing up and her family expected much of the same from her. But there were a million women from his hometown who had been shoved into charity dinners and family reunions at the country club. Yet Rose had managed to escape without becoming an uptight bitch.
Yes, her early pleas for him to maintain a semblance of polite interest had seemed nagging, but she'd only done them to avoid the long-term consequences. She spent most of these sorts of things whispering snide comments about the other women or dirty innuendos into his ear, making the events far more entertaining than they should be. She was a free spirit at heart, the frilled jacket and modest shift dress she was sporting for church a complete 180 from her typical wardrobe of jeans and thermals at home. She kept Damon in check enough to appease his parents while also satisfying his rebellious side, keeping him from wanting to jump off a cliff during boring galas and brunches. Rose kept him stable and, in turn, he let her be herself.
"Damon, Rose." Damon immediately felt the gentlemanly smile form on his face as Mrs. Parker approached them. Thankfully, this was an elderly woman who Damon actually liked. She didn't bore him to tears with stories about her grandchildren or squeeze his cheeks to tell him how cute he was and what a fine young man he'd grown up to be. In fact, she was childless and had been living primarily on her own since her husband had died eight years ago. She was a sweetheart and Damon was actually happy she'd approached.
"Louise, you look wonderful this morning," he affirmed, leaning over to peck her wrinkled cheek.
"Oh hush you," she grumbled defiantly, allowing Rose to greet her in a similar fashion. "I don't need another young Southern gentleman complimenting me on my good looks. It becomes overwhelming." Damon and Rose both let out genuine laughs.
"I apologize. It must just sound like drivel at this point."
"Well of course, Mr. Salvatore. Next time, call me foxy. I'll remember it then."
"Your wish is my command," Damon replied with a wink.
"Well, in that case, I need you to be welcoming to someone I met this morning. She seems incredibly shy and out of place, but I think you two would make her feel more at ease. I can tell she has the same spunk deep down inside. Someone just needs to get it out of her."
"Certainly," Rose acquiesced, shooting a glance at Damon. "We'd be happy to welcome a visitor."
"Perfect." Mrs. Parker grinned. "Elena!"
Damon's eyes widened as the familiar brunette turned from her place at the snack table across the room. Her brown eyes were filled with the same shock as his were as she, too, made the connection. Nervously, she tucked her long brown hair behind one ear and rapidly approached the trio. As she got closer, Damon took in the delicate white dress that highlighted her olive skin and lithe figure as well as the crumpled up cardigan, purse, and flimsy cup of water in her hands.
"Oh, sweetheart, you can put your things down. Nobody's going to steal them," Mrs. Parker cajoled casually. Elena shot a weak smile, still completely unsure of what to do in such an awkward situation. She gracelessly plopped the sweater and bag on a nearby chair and placed the sweating cup on the end table.
"Damon, Rose, this is Elena Gilbert. She's a first-year student at the university. Elena, this is Damon Salvatore and his fiancée Rose Abington. Damon is a lawyer at a local firm and Rose is an event planner at the club."
Elena looked hesitant to admit what was glaringly uncomfortable about the situation so Damon quickly cut in to help her out. "Well, well, well. If it isn't my midnight savior from the library…"
Both Rose and Mrs. Parker crinkled their eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean? You two have met?" Rose asked, thankfully without a hint of possessive suspicion.
Elena again seemed to be fumbling for the right words so Damon clarified. "Yes, we have. Remember that night a few weeks ago where I was forced to do that absurd assignment from my boss?" Rose nodded in agreement and Mrs. Parker went along with it. "Well, Miss Elena here helped me not rip my hair out in frustration and miraculously put me at ease. I got the work done in half the time. I think she's part angel." He shot a wink at Elena as she flushed, Louise and Rose both laughing politely.
Damon had decided not to reveal her near-meltdown to the women, assuming it would only embarrass her. Nobody wanted to be introduced as the girl who could barely handle remedial math problems and needed some stranger in the library to put her on the right track. Damon knew she was smart and he hoped the other women would assume the same if they couldn't judge her.
"Well, clearly, my work here is done," Louise interjected. "Elena, dear. It was such a pleasure to meet you. I hope to see you next Sunday. If you'd like, I can save you a seat."
Elena nodded, still seemingly overwhelmed with the situation at hand. "Yes, that would be lovely," she replied courteously. "Thank you so much for your hospitality this morning."
"Of course, dear. You made it too easy." Louise then nodded at the couple in front of her. "Have a good week, you two. And don't scare the poor girl away."
After she had left, the newly formed trio stood there uncomfortably for a few seconds of awkward silence. Elena finally interjected, unable to handle it any longer.
"Rose, I love your outfit. Those pearls are incredible."
Rose's eyes instantly lit up, finally at ease with a topic she knew well. "Oh my gosh, thank you. I was just about to compliment you on your dress. Where did you get it?"
Elena faltered a bit, but it was easily unnoticeable. "Uh, it was a present from my aunt actually. I'm sorry. I don't remember what the tags say."
"Oh here, let me check," Rose replied, placing her own things down on another chair to come around behind Elena. Before she could examine the tag, Damon cut in.
"Well, this is clearly not talk for my manly self. Elena, would you like me to get you a refill?" His eyes were practically pleading her not to force him to stay there and listen to them discuss shopping.
Elena let out a slight giggle. "Of course, thank you."
"Rose?" Damon inquired.
"I'm fine. Thank you though, sweetheart." Her hands were already delicately slipping beneath the white eyelet fabric of Elena's dress.
Damon grabbed Elena's nearly empty cup from the table and crossed the room.
Elena's eyes followed him as he walked, still in complete disbelief over what had occurred. The odds had not been in her favor to ever see Damon again and yet here he was, getting her water in a cheap cup for the second time that month. Her gaze immediately flipped back to Rose who had come around from her back to face her again.
"Well, you're a lucky niece. Those dresses are obscenely expensive," Rose noted, without a hint of jealousy or judgment. Not surprising given that Rose's ensemble looked like something off of a runway.
Elena politely smiled. She liked Rose. Not that she'd been ever given any reason to dislike her. She seemed very self-aware how stilted and formal this event was and she watched her cast a glare or two at a girl with a large slit in her dress. "You know, your fiancé is too modest." Rose turned her attention back to Elena, an eyebrow quirked in confusion. "He was the one helping me. I was about to have a breakdown before he sat down next to me and walked me through something."
Rose smiled, her eyes lighting up. Elena had seen enough contraband movies and television shows that continually painted the significant others as overly jealous and possessive, but she seemed genuinely happy for Elena. "Yeah, well he's something special," Rose replied sincerely. Elena did notice a flicker of something in her eyes as her gaze drifted over to her fiancé, but it was gone too quickly for Elena to determine what it was. "This university's hard though. Don't put yourself down too much if you struggle, especially as a first-year."
Elena grimaced and, by the look on Rose's face, it hadn't been subtle. "Yeah, well, I think the whole 'homeschooling' thing screwed me over. I feel like I'm drowning in every subject. I'm surprised they even let me in."
"Overprotective parents?" Rose asked knowingly.
Elena almost spilled her guts, but thought better of it. Rose was just starting to like her and Elena feared what she'd think of her once that glaringly sketchy detail came out. "Uh, yeah. You could say that."
Rose nodded and Elena could see the wheels turning in her head. "Have you thought about getting a tutor?"
Elena scoffed. "My aunt may buy me an expensive dress occasionally, but that doesn't mean I have nearly enough money to be tutored."
"Does the school not offer free help?" Rose questioned.
Elena flushed. "Well yeah. But it's a little embarrassing to be tutored by your peers. I went to a help center once and the guy they assigned me nearly laughed me out of the room."
The glint was back in Rose's eye and a knowing smirk formed on her face. "Well, then I know just the thing. Something that will benefit both of us." Rose winked as confusion settled over Elena's own features.
"What do you mean?" Elena asked. Right at that moment, Damon returned with Elena's drink and handed it to her with a grin.
"Elena, meet your new tutor," Rose cried, patting her hand on Damon's shoulder.
"What?!" Elena held back a small giggle at the fact that she and Damon had both replied in unison to Rose's insane statement, mostly because she was still in shock.
"Look, you need a tutor and Damon's genius is clearly not being tapped into enough at work. You said he was super helpful last time and he's not going to humiliate you if you give the wrong answer." The woman then turned to Damon. "And remember how your mother was forcing me to drag you to a soup kitchen every week? This can replace her psychotic need to make you do community service all of the time. Tutoring a girl at the local college? She gets to brag about your benevolent soul and your superior intelligence to all the women at the club. It's a win-win for everybody." Rose's grin lit up her whole face.
"Wait, how do you win in this situation?" Damon inquired dubiously.
"Um, I don't have to hear you bitch about serving stew to homeless men whose only job is to masturbate publicly!" Suddenly a gasp sounded from an elderly woman walking by and Rose's entire face lit up in alarm. "Um, okay. Why don't you two talk it out while I go convince Mrs. Lancaster I'm not a complete disgrace to society?"
Abruptly, Rose was halfway across the room, desperately pleading for forgiveness and Elena and Damon were stuck to deal with the aftermath of Rose's "genius" idea.
Elena took one look at Damon's uncomfortable expression and realized he had zero to no desire to actually do what his fiancée suggested. She decided to take him out of his misery. "Look, Damon. It's very sweet for Rose to suggest that, but clearly you owe me nothing. I'll be fine."
"Why did she offer it?" Damon asked. "You didn't have to say what really happened in the library. I was trying to make it less awkward for you."
"And I appreciate it!" Elena's hand shot out to grab Damon's forearm. "Really, Damon. You're too kind."
Damon's eyes shot down to where Elena's fingers were lightly latched into his skin and then back into her imploring eyes. "Are you really not doing well?" His voice was filled with genuine concern as though she'd just revealed she'd been diagnosed with some horrible disease.
"I'm fine," Elena replied too quickly. Damon's eyebrow immediately quirked in disbelief. Elena let out a sigh, her voice lowering naturally as she removed her shaky hand from his arm. "Okay, well maybe I'm failing a little."
"Failing?!" Damon shot back and Elena's eyes pleaded with him to lower his voice as well. "Sorry, I just… I didn't realize you were doing that horribly."
Elena crossed her arms over her chest, her defensive side flaring. "Hey, I'm trying to give you an out. You looked like you were more willing to gouge your eyeballs out than help me when your future wife offered you up."
Damon's eyes widened at her abrupt turn-about. Yeah, polite little miss Elena was gone in a heartbeat and she was back to the spitfire he'd encountered in the library. "I wasn't irritated with the offer. I was just… surprised."
"Yeah, well. It's not really either of you two's concern whether I'm doing well in school so I'd appreciate if the both of you chose not to be so nosy about it."
"Hey, Rose was just being polite. You said yourself five seconds ago that she was sweet for suggesting it. Just because you're insecure about your grades doesn't mean you have to be rude to her."
Elena balked. "Insecure?! This isn't insecurity! It's me wondering why the heck some strange grown man that I barely know is so invested in what's going on in my life especially after he tried to… hit on me in the library!"
"Hit on you?!" Damon let out a disbelieving laugh. "I already told you I was just being nice! Why do you have such a problem-"
"Woah, guys," Rose hissed as she returned back to the dueling pair, her expression half pleasant as to ward off their nosy witnesses and half frustrated with their display. "Your little quarrel is starting to gain some attention. What in the world is going on?!"
Elena huffed, suddenly grabbing her things from the chair and smashing down her cup of nearly full water and sloshing some down on the wooden table. "Nothing is going on. Thank you for the offer, but I don't need anybody's charity." Elena pivoted on her heel and exited the parlor, anger rushing through her veins.
Clearly, she'd walked into the wrong church.
Damon finally found Elena near the middle of the empty campus about fifteen minutes later. The second she'd walked out of the parlor, Rose had dragged him outside to the empty courtyard, demanding he tell her what had happened. After he'd explained, Rose had groaned, convinced that she was to blame for Elena's sudden outburst.
"Go find her!"
"Um, clearly she doesn't want our help. Just let it go, Rose."
"We made her feel like a charity case after knowing her for five minutes. Of course she didn't want to be a part of it. People like us are the reason why people hate churches so much. Mrs. Parker will kill us if we tell her Elena's never coming back to church after a three minute conversation!"
"Really? Mrs. Parker will kill us?" Rose delivered a hard slap to his chest at his condescension and Damon gasped. "Did you just hit me in church?!"
"We're not in church," she replied back haughtily. "We're in the courtyard of a church." Damon was ready to spit back a retort, but she called him out. "Damon, I swear to… just go get her. She couldn't have gotten that far and she's more than likely just heading to the freshmen housing on the southern part of campus! Tell her how sorry we are and make her believe it, or else I will force you to go that soup kitchen every other day." Damon groaned at her pestering and her voice softened in response. "Look, I'm sorry to become that kind of girlfriend, but your parents have both of us on a tight leash right now. We're not exactly in their good graces and it will be better for both of us if we don't screw up church, too. So please-"
"Fine." Damon didn't completely agree with his fiancée. He still thought Elena's abrupt anger was uncalled for and that she should have been far more grateful for their help, but if it made Rose and his parents happy, he would acquiesce.
So he'd found himself driving through all of the streets that led up to the area where he'd remember the freshmen housing being located. It hadn't taken too long to locate her thankfully but by the look on her face, she wouldn't be thrilled to see him. Not that he expected anything less than her most vile.
Damon pulled over into a nearby service driveway and parked the car, hoping that he wouldn't get towed given the odd hour. "Elena," he called out, willing his voice to not come out impatiently. The brunette's head whipped around to where he was standing, her feet halting in their rushed pace. Damon swore under his breath as he noticed the one or two tears that escaped her eyes.
"Hey, I just wanted to apologize for what happened back there. Rose, too. Sometimes…" Damon faltered for the right words. "Sometimes, our best intentions come out completely wrong. We never wanted you to feel like a charity case. We just wanted to help." Damon tried a smile. "Remember… 'nice guy syndrome?'"
Elena shook her head rapidly. "No, Damon. I'm sorry. I treated you two horribly when you were being way too nice to me. It's not an excuse but it was just a really… new day. I mean, your church is so different from the one I attended back home and then you were being so nice to me and I took out my frustrations on you. I got so worked up and just embarrassed you in front of all of those people… You were fine. It was all me."
Damon wasn't exactly sure what to say, especially now that most of his previous irritation was gone after her honest explanation. Elena just looked sad and confused, like a typical freshman that was overwhelmed by life. He remembered it clearly, and better yet, he remembered a sobbing Rose at three in the morning a few weeks into college who was begging Damon to make her "not a grown-up anymore." Sure, it would have been a lot better if Elena hadn't decided to ream him out in front of a good percentage of his congregation but he felt the need to comfort her… again.
"Your home church is really that different, huh?" He asked, coming a bit closer to her.
Elena scoffed. "You have no idea."
Damon took a deep breath as he prepared himself for his next words. "Look, Elena. I promise I'm not pitying you." Elena gave him a doubtful look. "Okay, I'm pitying you a little," Damon conceded. "Come on, you look like a damn puppy dog right now." Elena let out a laugh at his meek attempt of humor. "But I am genuinely offering my help if you want it. I can walk you through most of your subjects, help you study, explain some concepts…" He noticed her face grow weary at his suggestions. "Or… I could just sit next to you and make sure you don't have a stage 4 breakdown. I wouldn't say a word, I swear."
Elena laughed again, sniffling back some tears. "Are you telling me you don't enjoy comforting me while I cry? I thought we had formed a new tradition given that I've cried both times I've been in your presence."
Damon laughed. "And she's back." He replied sarcastically, but he couldn't help but sport a matching grin. "Look, all I'm saying is that I'd be honored to be your 'library buddy.' Even if it's just for a few weeks or so."
Elena bit her lip, her wary eyes examining him as if she was verifying his sincerity. After about twenty seconds, she finally gave her answer.
"Why not?"
So, what are we thinking? Honesty is best, I promise. Like I said above, I have a lot to talk about. Personally, I think it's important if you're considering continuing with this fic, but I obviously can't force you to read it all. But I do want to clarify, warn, prepare, etc. you all so that you can have the best reading experience possible.
1) Angst. Clearly right now there's not much going on plot-wise. (This would be why I struggled so much with writer's block.) I like lots of action and lots of drama and believe me, there's PLENTY of it coming. But we obviously have to set up the characters and their backgrounds so that they have a reason to be on a journey together. So if you feel like you're falling asleep, please remember that the drama is coming. I guarantee it.
On that note, for those of you that don't like angst, I suggest you run. Not that I'm trying to shove any of my readers away, but I have to tell you now that there is going to be an exorbitant amount of angst in this fic. Like way more than YBR. The only thing I can compare it to is The Story of Us. PLEASE NOTE THAT I DO NOT THINK I HAVE ANYWHERE NEAR THE SAME WRITING CAPABILITIES AS THAT BEAUTIFUL FIC. I'm just saying on the angst-o-meter, this is around where that story would rank. You all have seen part of the endgame of this story (the prologue) but we will return and continue on from that moment after we get through the nearly six years that pass in this story. So know that there will be a lot of imperfect characters screwing up, both accidentally and on purpose, and Damon and Elena will be the cause of each other's happiness and each other's hurt.
So, once again, don't be fooled by the "fluffiness" that is occurring right now. We still haven't even gotten, plot-wise, to the summary of the story yet ;)
2) OOC-ness. This is kind of along the same lines as what I mentioned above. Damon and Elena probably seem pretty out of character at the moment and that's okay. I swear on my life that they will become what they are on the show at some point. Right now, Elena is totally clouded by her very naive, very sheltered and misguided upbringing and Damon is, in my mind, very much like 1864 Damon is. He's planning a perfect future and trying to do his best to please his family, but he still has that same spunk and "naughtiness" that's inherent to the Damon Salvatore character. But the entire plotline of this fic revolves around Damon and Elena losing their innocences, so to speak, and how as they grow up and become more realistic and experienced, their personalities evolve. In a sense, the characters kind of have to be OOC in order for them to grow and develop into what they truly are.
(Also, I don't know about you, but I was getting tired of reading the same old fics where Damon and Elena continually follow the same tropes and stay in their same stereotypical character types. But maybe that's just me.)
3) Religion. As I said in the beginning, this will more than likely be the chapter with the largest amount of religious dialogue. I, personally, am really intrigued by religion and all of its technicalities, so I was really interested to see what a very strict religion would do to a character like Elena. I mean, these characters are in the South. It's almost unavoidable. So for those you that are already turned off by the religion talk, the good news is is that the worst is over. Bad news is that it is something that will affect Elena throughout the course of the story. It's part of her basic character background and will cause a minor amount of conflict in the future. I really don't intend to alienate believers and I don't intend to alienate non-believers, but I did want to explore this topic as a writer. So will you never see religion discussed again? No. Is this the worst of it? Definitely.
(Also, these are not necessarily my personal beliefs nor do I expect they are any of yours. Much of what Elena expressed above is meant to make the reader feel uncomfortable and realize that she has been brought up in a very strict, very misguided upbringing. This is where Elena's innocence and naivety stem from.)
OKAY SO I'M FINALLY DONE TALKING WOO. But in all seriousness, I really think the above needed to be expressed so that you all can understand. I feel like all of that was a big downer so let me just reaffirm how FLIPPING EXCITED I am for this story. I promise, I'm not going to try to make this really deep and metaphorical and all that. I just really wanted to stretch myself as a writer. I can guarantee you lots of Damon and Elena cuteness, Damon and Elena fights, Damon and Elena sexy times, Damon and Elena love, and Damon and Elena with A CHILD. (Guys, I'm so excited for the introduction of Henry you have NO idea.)
If you need more motivation to read, I'm going back to weekly updates! Well, for a little while. I'm on a social media fast until the end of March so I have a lot more time to be writing!
So leave me a review letting me know if you plan to stick with me or not and OF COURSE what you thought of the chapter.
I love you all so much and hope you have a great week!