Gaara
The couch was uncomfortable. I lay face down in my pillow unwilling to move. I don't know when or how I fell asleep, but I was too depressed to care about anything. I spent all night calling myself stupid and every name in the book that fit what a disgusting creature I could possibly fit the description of. All I could think of was that line from grease, " Men are rats, listen to me, they're fleas on rats, worse than that, they're amoebas on fleas on rats. I mean, they're too low for even the dogs to bite." that quote was one of my top 10 that fit how I felt.
In the morning, I was awoken by the faint sound of my alarm clock in the room over. Man naruto probably doesn't want to see my face in there. He can turn it off.
"Um...G-Gaara?"
"Mmmm?" I didn't get much sleep at all. Every time I closed my eyes I would see nightmares. Just like when I was little.
"I can't figure out your alarm." he whispered. I stood up and walked in to turn it off. "Did I wake you?" he asked small, not liking the silence between us. It was the second morning in a row I didn't wake him up with a kiss and an "I love you"
"No I heard the alarm clock."
"Why didn't you come in and stop it?"
"I thought you could get it."
"I knew it." Naruto sat on the bed brining his knees to his chest and hugging them. "You didn't want to come in here and see me." he buried his head in his knees and started crying.
"Naruto where did this come from?"
"I dreamed about it last night." he said, "and it was right!"
"No Naruto, that's not it at all. I messed up, I did something stupid..."
"It's not you it's me, yeah no one's ever heard THAT one before." he said his voice cracking.
"No, I'm serious you did, nothing wrong."
"What did you do wrong then? Hm? I don't even have a clue! Not until you started treating me like a piece of shit! I thought you were different... I thought you cared about me, you're just turning into everyone else." he was crying, he grabbed some clothes and locked himself in the bathroom. "And I'm walking to school!" he shouted, but it was muffled through the door.
While he was getting ready, I made him some breakfast, French toast, and left. Leaving it on the counter for him to find. I knew he would smell it, but I didn't want to be there when he came out of the shower. I had to do something to make him feel better!
Naruto
I felt like shit. Just horrible for more reasons than just one. I just...yelled at Gaara. Because I was pissed, but I still yelled at him. Plus I didn't have that good enough sleep. If I wasn't crying I was having a bad dream. One on how he's sick of me. How I'm not good enough anymore and that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. And maybe he doesn't...
I shook my head under the warm water. I don't want to think about it. Gaara not loving me. Because I know he does. Or I think he does. God I feel like shit.
"Dammit!" I screamed out my frustrations. I was so confused.
Ringing out my tail I turned off the water, knowing if I wanted to walk that I was going to have to leave earlier than I normally do.
I lazily got dressed in a pair of dark blue jeans and a pale yellow long sleeved shirt grabbed my bag and the phone, and placed it in my pocket. Ready, after putting on a jacket, to storm out of the apartment and go through the hellish day. But...then I smelled it.
It smelled good. Really good. Dammit Gaara! How am I supposed to be mad at you if you make something as good as French toast!
I sighed and looked at the clock. Maybe I was being a bit stubborn about all of this. Maybe I was blowing this out of proportion. I had time to at least eat a little...not to make Gaara madder than I think he already was.
After eating quickly I walked to school, totally ignoring everyone and almost everything that even had to do with myself being an anthro or a fox. I don't care anymore! I think I'm going nuts.
Gaara
Work sucks. The only thing I texted Naruto all day was if he was gonna walk home or if he wanted me to pick him up. Sadly he said he'll walk, and Deidara was reading it over my shoulder, so I had no excuse to leave early, so he kept me there. Sai left early. The bastard had no clue what was going on, as Deidara took me back into his office. Three times yesterday, and twice today. I was drained. I can only come so many times in one sitting; thank god we had customers, not that I got to see them. Dei-Dei took care of them while I was "tied up" in his office, pun intended.
Later I drove home, Naruto was dosing lightly on our bed. I guess he didn't get a good sleep last night either. I was physically exhausted from all the harsh sex, the uncomfortable couch and the fact I had bad dreams when I did get sleep last night. Judging by the bowls in the sink that were not there earlier he already ate. I haven't eaten anything in two days.
Would Naruto hate me if I slept with him? I walked up to him and stared at his sleeping face as I decided. To sleep with him and risk him being mad at that, or to sleep on the couch and risk him claiming I don't love him anymore again? I decided to sleep with him, going to the bedside dresser to plug in my phone. I got a text from Kankuro telling me to check out something on YouTube. Seeing my laptop there and realizing I haven't been on in a while, I picked it up, but low and behold word was on. Naruto must have been using the laptop and just shut it instead of turning it off. I didn't have intentions on reading it, but... words caught my eye. I read everything he was feeling, about how confused he was, what he thought it was what he hoped it wasn't. I knew from reading it that he still loved me, but could he still forgive me? I have to tell him... I have to tell him tomorrow! Maybe after school, so I can think of what to say.
Naruto
I had gone to school and only one text from Gaara. Not the word or anything close to love. But maybe he thought I was really mad at him. Even if I was. But I couldn't stoop thinking that I was over reacting. That I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. And tomorrows our anniversary and were fighting? That's not a good sign is it? I sighed.
Shikamaru and Choji kept asking me what was wrong, and Shikamaru being the unknown genius that I met and became friends with, seemed to always know that something was wrong. And he's only known me for like 3 days!
Oh and I swear I'm getting sick of it all. I know I'm trying to stay calm but all those people and their crappy attitudes cased me to almost snap out at them. The key word almost. I was this close. And next time I swear that I might actually do it. Flip out at someone.
Anyway Haku let me sit out in class and I got to work on Gaara's present. Maybe it would make him feel better. Maybe this was my entire fault.
Along with me actually finishing it, yes I finished the bracelet and to me it was probably the best one I made ever. It made me want to smile a bit. But I didn't. Still slightly depressed. Now how to give it to him tomorrow...I'll think of that later.
I walked home, and didn't get lost. I wasn't surprised to find the door locked. Gaara was probably still at work. This only made me more depressed as I went into the kitchen and made some ramen. Yes ramen. The ultimate comfort food.
I made two bowls, I could have had three but I didn't want to eat it all, then got into my pj's and went to bed...even if it was early. Yet every time I fell asleep I would have bad dream. So I woke up and started writing on that story I wrote yesterday. Adding more feelings and thoughts to it.
But soon I got tired and felt my eyes drooping after crying a bit more.
I fell asleep. Having the same dream of Gaara leaving me. I felt bad. I felt like shit for the way my mind replayed what I had yelled at him for the past two days. I regretted it. But I didn't wake up again. Afraid that if I did I would have to be face to face with Gaara.
Sometime in the middle of the night my dreams turned soft. They were the dreams that made me think that everything was okay.
It wasn't till morning that I realized that I was cuddling up to Gaara's back. Gaara almost on the edge of the bed as if he wasn't trying to wake me or be close to me. Either because he hated me or because he didn't know if I would want him in bed. But since he was in bed with me I would think it was the other one.
I cried again at the feeling of losing him as I held him tighter.
Gaara
I woke up to the feeling of two arms around the front of my waist. I turned slightly to see Naruto, his eye squeezed tight to try and not let out the noises that would go with the tears streaking along his face. I pet his hair and ears; he opened his big blue orbs to stare at me. I looked down apologetically. "I love you." was all I could say at the moment and not screw up. I felt like an ass.
"R-really?" he said, not as if he disbelieved it, but wanted confirmation that he wasn't dreaming.
"No matter what, I love you. I care about you, and I want the best for you. Please try to consider that every choice I make I take into consideration how it will affect you in the long run. Remember if I ever do anything for you to hate me, I'll still love you and that if that happens or not you will always have me to come back to. No matter what I will lend you a shoulder to cry on or a hand in times of need. It doesn't matter if we stay together or by some act of the devil I end up with someone else or you do, I don't care if I have wife and kids and I live in a box, I will still be there for you. I will always love you and I have loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you."
"That's so sweet... I love you too Gaara."
Naruto
I know we were supposed to get up but I felt completely calm at this moment and didn't want to get away from it. A weight lifted off of my heart just a little. It didn't even click to me the order of his words. Only that what he said was sweet. And it was on today. Our one month anniversary. I hugged him closer to me, not wanting to let go.
"I love you. I love you so much Naru. Don't ever forget that please?"
"I promise. I love you too..." I closed my eyes again trying to stop the tears still going down my face. Now that Gaara and I wasn't talking, and thank god that the song on Gaara's alarm was actually a softer song that went off this morning not stopping the moment, I really took his words to heart. Other than being sweet they also...sort of sounded like breaking up words. And just for a moment I freaked out. What if everything the past few days was Gaara deciding if he wanted to be with me!
I wiped my eyes as Gaara took the opportunity to sneak away and turn off the alarm, as well as going into the kitchen probably to make something.
"Gaara...I hope you will like at least the small thing I made you..." I whispered to myself getting out of bed and getting dressed. I felt better.
I heard Gaara muttering things to himself as he made some eggs and I cooked some toast. I realized Gaara wasn't making anything for himself but I didn't want to ask him. I didn't want a risk of a fight.
Gaara
going on day three. My guilt is making my appetite horrible. I'm telling him tonight, so just a few bites. Nope I can't do it. This food is making me feel about to puke. Naruto watched me as I placed the food in front of him and he started eating. It smelled so good...
"This is good Gaara."
"I believe you." I said staring it down. My stomach throbbed at the thought of accepting food at the moment and I had to look away in disgust. Naruto thought I was looking at him.
"Gaara?" he said, and had that look like he was trying not to freak out.
"It's not you, it's the food."
"The food? Gaara what's wrong? Why are you acting so strange?"
"I used to have an eating disorder. I don't remember if I told you or not, but I feel hints of it coming back. nothing for you to worry about though, when I feel like its ruining my life I'll get rid of it." yeah as soon as I tell you, as soon as you forgive me.
"Is it that easy?"
"Tsunade has stuff..." oh stop lying to him and tell him! I cheated on you by accident with Deidara; I was drunk and stupid... I can't start with I cheated, he wouldn't stay to hear the rest. Deidara raped me, I could have stopped him but I was drunk and not thinking... it wasn't rape, I gave him permission, but I was drunk does that count? Gah!
"Oh, well, do something soon. I hate seeing you like this."
"You're so good to me. I don't deserve this..." I said, my face falling into my hands. He deserves so much better than a sleaze ball like me. Everyone was worried about me hurting him, and I thought I could never lay a hand on him, so I brushed it away without worry, but here I go not hurting Naruto physically, but mentally. Hurt is hurt. Maybe in not the best for naruto. I can't think of breaking up with him though, I'm too selfish, and id crush him. The only logical thing is to be cautious from now until the day that I die.
"Gaara... stop saying that. Your acting really depressed all of a sudden. Saying things like that, not eating properly, cutting yourself... please tell me what is wrong. I-if you want to." he added as if trying not to start an argument.
"I have to think of how to say it." I told him honestly. I couldn't lie anymore. "I'll think of how to tell you all day and tell it to you tonight ok? But one I don't know what to say yet, and two, I don't want you to fret about it at school... ok? Everything will be back to normal by tonight. I promise..."
Naruto
Would everything really be back to normal? By the sound of his voice he didn't seem so sure. Gaara's seriously freaking me out though. As if he's holding something in. And by his tone...it had to be about us. I will admit that I sort of freaked out. Gaara's behavior and what he's been saying...something was defiantly wrong with him. And he didn't want to fret over it during the day? Now I can't stop thinking of what Gaara has to say.
I pushed around the rest of the eggs that were left on my plate. I ate most of them but as of now I sort of lost my appetite.
"W-will it really be normal again?" I asked softly but I knew Gaara heard it. He didn't answer right away.
"I hope so..." he whispered but still hadn't looked up at me. I sighed to myself as I stood up from the table and stalked into the bed room, placing Gaara's present in my pocket. I found out how I was going to give it to him. I was going to make two cards. One saying that I have something for him, and another one that I'm going to give with the gift. Talking about how much I love him and care for him and how he changed my life. Even if we had our fight for the past few days that hopefully we would continue going strong. Well that's close to what it will say. I haven't really made it yet. Going to work on it at school today to keep my mind off of things. Plus since I was going to try and draw a little thing in the card I knew it was going to take me longer than it would for me to write something.
I put my hand in my pocket and clutched the bracelet tightly. I just wish it will be alright.
"N-Naru?" Gaara stuttered, his voice slightly crackly.
"Hm? Gaara I'm in here." he didn't see me, or hear me leave?
"Oh...I was just worried that you left." I had a feeling that he was going to add a 'me' to the end of that sentence
"No. I was...just getting something." I whispered as I put on my jacket and walked back out of the room. Gaara was standing up now, his keys in his hands but I snatched them out for two reasons.
"Why you take them?" He asked me confused.
"One you need to change clothes. Your still in pj's and two you're not in any condition to drive right now." I sighed while he looked down at himself.
"I can drive fine," He snatched the keys back from me, "Plus I need it...to get to work." He sighed and I raised an eyebrow.
"Okay..." I whispered while he went into the bedroom to change. He came out and we walked to the car, a little slowly. And you know what's even better? The silence in the car was horrible.
Gaara
Dropped Naruto off at school feeling like a zombie. Today was not my day. I refused Deidara sex today, he threatened to show naruto the video, but I told him I had every intention to confessing to Naruto after school. Deidara raised his nose at me, and business went on as normal.
"Why'd you do it?" I asked when Sai left for a bathroom break.
"I haven't had sex in a while. I need a steady relationship, but. I'm not too good at those. I envied you and Naruto... how long has it been now?"
"About a month." I wonder when our month mark will be? It's got to be soon.
"That little? You guys look like you've been together for longer. I can't be talking. Most of mine last under 2 months." Deidara said, turning his head in shame.
"You're too demanding. Try being nicer. More understanding of you partner, and not just in sex but especially with sex. That's why Sasuke and I didn't work out." I looked down at my hands.
"You're ex?"
"And a sadistic bastard."
"I might have to try that out."
"Not with me. Try someone who's single."
Only one more hour until I can leave for home. One more stinken hour before I had to talk with Naruto.
Naruto
I sat through all my classes actually feeling better than I had been. Choji and Shikamaru seemed to not be as worried about me and for once I actually talked back to them when they talked to me. Thanks to them I wasn't so occupied in my head coming up with ideas that Gaara might have to tell me. Like the thought that he didn't love me anymore or even worst. He loved someone else like Sasuke.
I had to stop myself of these thoughts with different little things. And one of those little things were the cards to make today work. On one I wrote "I got something important to give you! Meet me in the living room!" This way I didn't have to do have to really explain anything.
On the other one I wrote, in very sappy cheesy or corny words: I love you. I know that we have been sort of fighting for the last few days but I do love you and hope to help you through whatever you're going through. I want us to keep going strong. So because I wanted to get you something, or make you something, and you not get me anything in return is because you do too much for me. So I kept today a secret.
I love you. Happy One Month Anniversary!
And then I drew a real crappy picture of me and Gaara holding hands. It wasn't gonna impress Gaara that much, I know, but I want this to make him feel better. That I do love him and he can trust me.
Haku told me during today's class that I looked better and that my dancing was getting better. I couldn't help but smile at that. And then...the bell rang and the end of the day was here. Time to know what was wrong with my Gaara. So instead of waiting for the rush to be over I rushed out the doors myself, not surprised some people scooted away from me or roughly bumped into me. I just sighed as I saw Gaara's car. Him waiting patiently in the front seat.
So how would I give him the first card? Would I put it on our bed? Well that might actually work. I'll put it on the bed and I'll wait in the living room. I'll tell him that there's something in the bed room. Yep that will work!
I sat down next to him, a small smile almost played on my lips as the bracelet in my pocket almost burned a hole through my pants.
Gaara
"Naru... I'm home." I said. I felt nervous, but I gulped and heard him say something from the kitchen.
"Check the bedroom, there is something I want you to see." he had a giggle in his voice.
I walked into the bedroom flashing him a fake smile on my lips. I clenched my chest when I got in the confines of my room, and I read a card sitting on the bed. I had to read it a few times because my brain wasn't processing things right, all it could think about was Naruto's reaction.
Something important? Like a gift?
Why would he do that? I don't deserve gifts; I deserve a gun a head, not a gift. Naruto was really trying to make me feel guilty.
"Naruto... what is this? Please tell me you didn't get me a gift." I said. His ears drooped; he looked at me for a second with big eyes and then looked away as if trying to hide the shock.
"W-what do you mean?"
"I have something to tell you, it's been eating at me for the past few days, I really don't want to be... wasting my time with something as not important as this." I said talking about the gift.
"Not important?... wasting? What do you not have time for me? Is that it? Am I not important enough for you?" he said, sounding hurt and offended by what I said.
"What? No Naru that's not it..."
"Is it so wrong for someone to bring home a special gift for their lover? And on a special day, one that IS important... at least in my book. I don't know what you demons consider important." he said to me, tears threatening to break loose.
"Naruto, that's not what I meant at all, why are you taking this so-"
"Because your acting so stupid. What is it you've done to treat me so... so... unloving? Whatever it is, it's turned you into a monster! Tell me now, what's gotten into you!"
"Maybe it's because I cheated on you OK?" I shouted. I gasped... that was not supposed to come out that way... he turned his head away from me as the words registered in his mind. I saw a tear hit the floor. He stood up as if to leave...
"No Naru wait, I didn't mean that..."
"Tell me it's not true!" he shouted, his body shaking with each breath he took. "Tell me to my face you didn't." he looked dead serious.
"It is, I won't lie but-"
"I'm leaving.' he whispered, looking so fragile and broken. He turned to leave once more.
"Naru let me explain..." I reached out to grab his arm.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" he shouted, swatting my arm away, I gripped tighter, I couldn't let him out of my grip, I couldn't let him walk away... "Ouch. Gaara, stop let me go..." I was hurting him? My mind was so muddled I couldn't find the trigger to release my grip. He turned his head, it all happened so fast, but his teeth sunk into my arm above me wrist.
I yelped and pulled away, as he ran out of the house... "Naru... Naru wait..." I held my head low, staring at the ground as I noticed a folded piece of paper, with some string sticking out of it.
Sniffling and wiping my eyes and nose on the sleeve of my shirt not caring to wipe away the blood dripping down my arm. I wish he'd hurt me more, taught me my lesson... anything but leave.
I read the note and gasped, my heart nearly pushing out my chest. I ran to the bathroom and puked into the toilet. It was our one month? Today? God I'm even more stupid than I thought... no wonder he was being really nice about the present. And I told him it was unimportant? How could I miss something like this? Deidara asked me about it today too.
I looked at the bracelet, it was beautiful, and it must have taken a lot of time. I cried, puking more stomach acid into the toilet. No food was in my stomach to puke up. I called Tsunade, to see if he was there, she asked what had happened but I promised id explain later once I found him. I called my sister and brother too. Who else did he know? Deidara?
I guess I could try there...
Technically if Gaara wasn't such an effing drama queen and he would of have told naruto in the when it first happened none of this would of happened! Gaara you dumbass!
And FYI Gaara picked Naruto up from school drove him home then went back to work! Yep…that's how it went! And the whole complicated thing with the note's and gift was the only way we could come up with. So sue us.
And last thing! We didnt just randomly say "hey lets make it the one month mark!" it actully is the one month mark and i know this becuase im keeping track. Seriously lol