Hey everybody! It's me, the AWESOME Prussia!

Kesese so I felt like picking on Specs today, see. Perhaps raping him again and taking another piece off of him for my own. The weak pussy.

So I peek through the window - fool hasn't learned by now not to leave the curtains open, but noooo, he wants the sunlight to come in and make his entire fancy ass house all sparkly and pretty! What kind of man would live in such a house? A man without a dick, that's what kind!

And, to my surprise, I found that Specs DID have a dick when I invaded his vital regions. A long and skinny one, with a little mole on it just like the one on his face, which he said represented the village of Fucking.

FUCKING! I understood enough English to know what THAT means! I laughed and I laughed at the irony and he very nearly got away, but my soldiers managed to stop him just in time.

Oh, and he has erectile dysfunction. Not fun when you want to play the uke.

Anyway, so I was peeking through the window at him - and who should be there but HUNGARY! Talk about a cock block.

And so I cannot hear what they are saying through the glass that he hand-polishes to sparkling perfection every day, but I can sort of tell what they are up to because they go upstairs together to the master bedroom. Kesese hope Specs remembered to take Viagra!

So I screamed and rubbed my greasy hands all over his window. Kesese that ought to make for a tough cleanup!

I wanted so badly for him to fuck me in the ass. Even if he can't do it with his dick at least use a musical instrument or something. Kesese it would actually be kind of sexy if he jammed an oboe up my ass and started playing it up there. Ohhh, his prissy little girl music would make me SING! And he would probably never use his oboe again...

So I go to Spencer's to get myself an inflatable boyfriend.

Very generic-looking. That just won't cut it. Needs hair.

So I went to the wig shop and got him a messy brown wig, the cheapest I could find. Verdammt if I'm not becoming stingy like HIM!

Oh and I also needed specs - after all, he wouldn't be Specs without them.

Hmm, my AWESOME pair of sunglasses might do - if I punched the lenses out - there.

Oh and he needs clothing. Yeah I know but that makes him all the more fun to strip.

So I went to Party City, and I lucked out - they were having a Renny Fair sale! So I picked a fancy blue jacket and a nice corset - come on now, he MUST be wearing a corset to have such a girlish figure, especially considering how much cake and other shit he eats!

Oh and some fancy fluffy pants too, and some shiny boots.

I couldn't find that frilly Kleenexy-looking thing that he always has tied around his neck no matter what he's wearing, even if it's pajamas. So, I decided that I could just use a Kleenex. I stole one from the box at the counter that they have for the employees because it's flu season - kesese!

So all I needed was a musical instrument of some sort. It would have to be a real instrument because a fake one just wouldn't be sexy. So I go to the music store to look for the sexiest instrument.

Piano is his favorite, but those are too big. The flutes and clarinets and other kinds of instruments that people blow spit into look nice, but what REALLY catches my eye is a pretty little violin.

Aww, she is just so curvy and sexy! I swear, I was getting hard just looking at the thing! I could just imagine Roddy's tender little girl fingers rubbing the stick with the horsehairs on it over the cat guts stringed down her belly. Ohh, with thoughts like that I had better leave the store soon!

So I go home and dress my little Roddy up. And awww, you should have seen how cute he looked in the stuff I bought him!

But not quite boner-ready yet. Time to bring out the Magic Markers!

I colored in his eyes, made them look a pretty sparkly shade of purple, drew them like the eyes of a pretty anime girl. I drew the mole on his chin - oh mein Gott! That mole just kills me! I then pulled down his pants to draw a little Fucking on little Roddy's little Roddy.

But there was something missing... oh that's right! His HAIR needed a fixing!

I put the wig on and took a shower with it. I put some of my awesome shampoo and some of my awesome conditioner on it to clean it and straighten it out. Then I got out of the shower and dried it and started combing it.

Damn it was hard to get his hairstyle just right! Man I had to use loads of my AWESOME hair gel, the same kind that I use to keep my hair looking AWESOME. I use the extra-hold stuff to make that stupid little curl of his stick up.

OK so I put the wig on my Roddy doll, now the image was complete.

Oh I wanted to fuck its ass! But I knew I couldn't because I would probably blow its ass and then there would be no more little Roddy.

But I wanted him to fuck ME in the ass! I took his little violin and rubbed the stick over the cat entrails, and it sounded AWFUL, screechy, not at ALL awesome, like the music that Roddy plays. How does he manage that?

No matter all I wanted right now was for Roddy to rub that stick over MY entrails!

I opened my ass with my fingers just wide enough for me to make Roddy stick the violin stick thingy, whatever it's called, inside. I didn't want to lube it because I wanted to feel it ROUGH... oh how BADLY I wished it were Roddy playing me with his skilled hands instead of this clumsy muppet!

"Gilbird!"

Yup, that's right, I called my awesome and sweet little birdie over so that he could lend me a hand - well actually a beak - with the violin stick. He fluttered back and forth with the stick in his beak and it felt sweeter, just as a tickle actually feels like a tickle when you're not tickling yourself but having somebody else doing it for you, plus there is not the pain of having to reach down to do it yourself.

I held my body over little Roddy as I growled and moaned at him, being heaved back and forth by my little birdie. I poked him in the mole, knowing how much that secretly pleasures him.

"Ohhh, Gilbert, zat vas qvite zee orgasm, if I do say myself. Vould you please be a dear and touch it again, love?" Yeah, that's right, I mimicked his sissy prissy voice, right down to his snooty Viennese accent.

I then tugged at his curl. I know how much this annoys him. Strange, because the other countries I have raped like it. Or maybe he's just really good at hiding it, the prude bastard?"

"Hey, Gilbert, qvit tveaking my precious Mariazell! She doesn't like to be molested anymore zan Fuckingk does! I svear she is not an erogenous zone!"

Damn, it was taking so long to orgasm! Gilbird is too weak to really drive it in there!

And then, you know what? My intestines started to feel queasy. Urp. I thought maybe I was allergic to horsehair, or maybe I really punctured something up there.

Then I realized, with a SQUIRT! I had diarrhea! Dang, served me right for eating all of that crappy stale leftover Strudel and Linzertorte that Specs threw out!

Aaaugh... the pain of having the squirts was causing me to... oh Gott for the first time in my life diarrhea pain actually felt good!

I CLIMAXED! And it was AWESOME! Feeling the horsehairs scrape my butthole from the sheer power of poop - AWESOME. The violin stick shot out of my butt and got little Roddie all poopy. Eew. Kesese...

An event such as this calls for a celebration! And what better way to celebrate than with Bier!

I pour myself a tall glass of Fucking Hell (kesese) and sit down to share it with little Roddy.

"Hey, Specs, would you care for a tall one?"

"No zank you, I much prefer vine, because it is so much fancier."

Kesese... Now's my opportunity to turn boring old Roddy into the MOST INTERESTING MAN ON EARTH! (asides from me kesesese...)

"I do not alvays drink beer, but vhen I do, it's Austrian beer, and certainly not Prussian beer."

"Oh but the beer will wash that shit right off of you! Look!"

I spill some of the beer onto him, and the diarrhea stain comes right off. Kesesesese...