Title: Because He Died

Author: Devlyne (Originally posted as BelleAngeli)

Published: 07-14-10 (Re-Posted 9/3/2015)

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

A/N: Re-Post of Part 2: Because He Died. A few edits to sentences and structure.

Part 2: Because He Died

Pam did not like change.

While she had nothing to look forward to but an eternity of a constant changing world, Pam was unwilling to accept change. Fashion always changed, of course, but that was acceptable. It was so much easier to deal with than people, especially humans. While the colors and cuts might change, the way Pam felt in an exceptional pair of heels never changed. She had never been a great, classic beauty in life. Pam's carriage and taste in fine clothes and fashion had made her beautiful. Then death had given her that ethereal sort of beauty.

Godric had always made her feel beautiful. He had never leered at her the way others had. And despite her insubordination toward Eric, Godric had always had a smile and kind word for her. For this reason and this alone Pam always kept him in mind on shopping trips. There was a shirt that Godric might admire noticed while she picked up a new suit coat for Eric and that Brighton necklace for herself. Those sandals looked comfortable for him. He would appreciate a pair and the woman showing them didn't look half bad a gift either. Though, she might keep the woman for herself. This had become routine to Pam.

Pam did not take kindly to changes in her routine.

It was with an odd sort of detachment that she had taken the news of Godric's departure. Eric had stood still and silent with his fists clenching and unclenching as he gazed down into her eyes. "Godric is gone." Then he had turned from her, his suitcase rolling along behind him as he disappeared in to the club. The sound of his office door slamming was hard enough to rattle the walls. Gone; the way one might say that a person had taken a vacation. Oh yes, he stepped out into the Sun. Don't worry, Godric will return in just a moment; a wave of a phantom hand in her mind in dismissal. Gone.

Later, when the bar was again closed for the day and when Pam had a chance to settle into her own day-proofed home, it hit. Godric was gone. Eric's anguish and despair were hard to ignore when Godric had been only lost, but now she found it overwhelming. A tug brought her walk-in closet open, rummaging in the back for the few bags she had stashed there. A sweater laid out across her bed, a pair of comfortable shoes, a ring. Pam stepped back gazing down at these things, arms folded across her midsection. Godric would have liked the ring; the smoothness of the metal and how warm it would be against his cool flesh. The sweater was just the right sort of color without washing out his already pale complexion. The shoes would have been well used, well worn, as every pair she had given him had been.

Now they had no home to go to.

Pam sat down hard on the bed in the room with elbows resting on her knees as forehead rested in the palm of her hand. Eric had changed. She could feel it; anguish, despair, loss. Love. Her eyes closed to ward off the burning that threatened them; the bloody tears which would spill and ruin her makeup. That would not do. 'Thank you, Pam. I will treasure them.' An image flashed through her brain; Godric's small smile. Rage built within, despair, loneliness, until she could not separate her feelings from Eric's. The sweater torn, ripped in her hands as she acted at last. Anger, that he should leave Eric behind; leave her behind. The ring tossed; the dull echo of it hitting the far wall, bouncing away to disappear in the plush carpet. Fear, that Eric would follow. Shoes hitting the wall, the mirror shattering as one veered too close. Grief, that now they belonged to no one.

Pam did not like change. She did not like the churning sensation it left in its wake. She did not like the way it felt to have to start anew. But she would; they had to.

Because he had died.