Hook, Revenge, and Baited
Author: GleekShip
Spoilers: Up until Season 2 There will be aspects from each. And Puck and Quinn never slept together, she was never pregnant.
Summary: Santana wants revenge on Puck. She enlists the help of Kurt in this delicious, sexy plot.
Pairings: Puck/Kurt
Hook, Revenge, and Baited
Kurt groans as he hears his phone blare into the otherwise silent morning.
Don't tell me not to live,
Just sit and putter,
Life's candy and the sun's
A ball of butter.
Don't bring around a cloud
To rain on my parade!
Don't tell me not to fly-
Kurt cuts off the increasingly annoying ring tone as he puts the phone to his ear, but not before glancing at the time.
"It is five thirty in the morning." The venom in his voice could easily melt through Rachel Berry's vocal chords. "It is a Monday. I still have a few-"
"Kurt." Rachel's loud booming voice cuts him off. "I have something to tell you."
"Can't you wait until morning?" Kurt arches his back and lets out a shaky breath as he hears a small chain of pops.
"It can't. It's very-"
"And why are you even up so early? You still have a good two and a half hours before the school even opens." Kurt is genuinely confused, fuel by his current sleep shortage.
"I always get up this early to start my day with a well-balance breakfast and a cardio workout, but that's not the point." He can hear Rachel's bushy hair shake and a few loose strands scratch the phone. "I have something to tell you."
"Then it can wait from my normal wanting to listen to you hours of noon to a minute after noon. Please call again then." Kurt can't help but smile.
Who knew I could be witty so early in the morning.
"But Kurt." Rachel whine makes Kurt hold the phone away from his ear and wince. "This is super important. Super!"
Kurt closes his eyes and forces himself to breathe in, and to breathe out. "Fine Rachel. You have two minutes."
"Have you checked your phone for any texts?" Rachel waste's no time with her time limit.
"No." Kurt says the obvious answer. "I was too busy sleeping."
"Well a mass text was sent out-"
"I'm sure I can wait for some gossip for a couple of hours.' Kurt cuts her off with a sigh. "Just let me sleep."
"But Kurt-" Rachel's voice is insistent. "It's about Puck."
"What about him?" Kurt's morning haze is making him even more confused.
"There was a video." Rachel whispers loudly as if it's some big secret.
"And why would I want to see a video of Puck?" Kurt questions before yawning.
"Because it . . . it shows him receiving fellatio-" Her voice goes soft as if afraid someone is listening to their conversation. "From a guy."
This makes Kurt's ears perk up. "A guy?"
"Yes!"
Kurt narrows his eyes and sits up in bed.
Puck getting a blow job from a guy . . . on video . . . and it was sent to-Oh My God! Dammit Santana. I completely forgot that she was sending that out. Shoot. Stupid sleep.
"Kurt are you listening to me?" Rachel's shrieks blare through his phone.
"Yes." He all but yells back. "And I don't see why this concerns me."
"Well it concerns you because-well. I don't know really. I just thought that you'd want to know that Puck was gay." Rachel suddenly sounds guilty for waking him up.
Kurt chuckles dryly. "Getting head from a guy doesn't make one gay. It makes one in the experimental stage of life. Plus how do you know that it was a guy. It could just as well be a very flat-chested girl. Case in point: you."
Kurt chuckles when he hears Rachel scoff at his assumption. "I will ignore your degrading and untruthful comment since I'm aware that I did wake you up and hour and 33 minutes before you're usual time." Kurt rolls his eyes. "But I do know for a fact that it is a guy because we can see a blurred out, and rather long, piece of . . . appendage attached to the . . . sucking partner." Rachel's voice goes high as she repeats the information that Kurt is already aware of.
"That's great Rachel. Good luck on your project." Kurt cops out of the conversation.
"What the-" Kurt hands up the phone.
He gets a minute of calms nerves and relief before the current situation waves itself in front of his eyes again. "Dammit."
Kurt nearly falls off the bed and flat onto his face in his attempts to quickly get ready for the day at hand.
Kurt's car skids to a halt in the McKinley parking lot. His gaze to the first person that he finds and finds them looking at their phone with wide eyes.
'Okay Kurt.' Kurt shuts his eyes and relaxes his head against the headrest on his seat. "Everything's fine. This is what you wanted, right? No." Kurt opens his eyes and groans.
This is going to end very badly. Dang you Santana.
Kurt scrambles for his phone and puts it to his ear. "Pick up Santana." He mutters into the empty line as he climbs out of his car.
"Hello-" Kurt lets out a relieved sigh as he hears the Latina's voice. "You have reached the phone of Santana Diabla Lopez." Kurt groans at the voice mail. "If you are trying to reach me, please leave a message at the following numbers. Dial a one if you're inquiring about any illegal practices that you may think I'm the root cause of and dial 555-5462 to reach my lawyer, Gloria Alfred. Make sure you have documented papers, back-up papers, a USB drive of back-up papers, video footage with option of audio. Dial a two for-"
Kurt snaps his phone shut. "This isn't getting me anywhere."
His fingers start a nervous tap dance up against the side of his leg. He stops when he sees a group of jocks waiting at the main entrance to the school, almost crushed cell phones in their cum-stained hands as they look out onto the incoming students.
Crap. They're looking for Puck. And this isn't going to be pretty.
Kurt groans and turns around. "What to-"
He is cut off by the sound of a familiar truck pulling into school. His panicked eyes go straight up to the driver, to Puck.
Ta-da. So what do you think? This chapter was fun to write. I loved writing the dialogue. So I'm hoping to have another chapter up by this weekend, but until then, let me know what you think. :)
Also, I have no idea if this is a real number here. I just used the numbers that would be associated with each number of Lima. :)