It's not what it looks like

Author: Natascha2Tata

Words: 1,330

Disclaimer: I don't own Chicago PD or the characters all rights go to Dick Wolf and NBC

Authors Note: My first language is not English, so sorry for any mistakes.

Uploaded: 06.09.2015

It's messy

"It's Madeline", he answered with a growing smile on his face "She's the best thing that ever happened to me, Erin"

"Yeah I didn't dope that a second", Erin quickly responded "You can clearly see that on your smile on the pictures"

Jay didn't say anything, not sure what to say.

"How old is she anyways?" Erin wondered.

Jay smiled again

"She's two and a half."

"So if the woman isn't her mother, who's she and were is Madeline's mother?" Erin asked curios.

"The woman, her name is Heather, is Maddie's nanny. She's taking care for her since Maddie's birth." Jay stopped for a second "The birth mother… well that's a long story." He let out a sigh.

"Oh I have time." Erin said a bit hesitated.

"All right but it won't be beautiful; it'll be messy." Jay said.

"How worse can it get?" Erin laughed quietly.

Jay looked at Erin for a second; he opened his mouth but closed it again. He shifted on his seat and moved his body, so he wouldn't face her while talking.

"Maddie's mom, birth mother, and I never really had a relationship; it was more just the fun part. One day we both had a bit too much to drink and didn't think about any protection, Jenny, that's her name, was on some antibiotics because of a stomach bug that's why she couldn't take the pill." He stopped for a second to gather his thoughts. "Anyways when we found that she was pregnant she wanted an abortion as soon as possible, she said she wasn't ready to be mom. Nor was I, I just finished the police academy, I didn't thought I wanted kids, our world is pretty messed up, not the best place to raise a child, you realize that pretty quick in our line of work. But that was still my child, my flesh and blood; I couldn't just give it up like it was nothing." Jay took a deep breath "So I begged, I begged Jenny not to get an abortion and after hours of begin she gave up, under one condition. As soon as the baby is born, she's of the hock, I will get all parental rights and need to care for that baby, how, she didn't care." Jay said with an angry tone is his voice.

They were silent for a while. Erin taking in what Jay just told her not wanting to believe that a person could do that to her own child but then, her mother wasn't the best either.

"Where is she now?" She wanted to know.

"Well like a week after Jenny gave birth to Maddie she moved to Spain with some scumbag she meet while she was pregnant." Jay leaned back on the couch and took a sip from his beer. "I haven't heard from her since and I'm glad I haven't."

"And why did you never told anyone? It's not like we would judge you, you fought for your child, you are mainly raising her by your own, you deserve some kind of award."

Jay chuckled.

"Seriously, Halstead, why haven't you told us? What if something happened to you?" Erin asked serious.

"Like I said I don't know. And Maddie got Heather and I have a brother, Will, he lives in New York City, He might be a party boy but Maddie is a soft spot on him." Jay answered.

Again they were silent. Until Erin spoke again.

"But I don't get one thing," she started "you said we should go to your place, if you knew Heather and Madeline where there why did we go?"

"Ah well every time after we solve a case we go to Molly's," He looked in her eyes "and sometimes we get drunk so I always call Heather and tell her that Maddie is going to sleep at her place that specific night. You know?" Erin nodded "Well this time Heather came home earlier then expected. But Maddie got a fiber and she forgot her favorite blanket at my place so Heather decided to go home earlier and then she crossed us." Jay finished.

"Oh... Okay." She said.

Jay was still facing Erin, they both smiled at each other but hesitated to make a move, again just like the last couple months, until Jays phone rang. He took his phone out of his pocket and answered.

"Hey... Okay... No I'll come... Yes... Alright I'm on my way, see you in ten... Bye."

He put his phone back in his pocket and looked at Erin "C'mon, I need to go, Maddie's temperature is still high and like she said she wants her daddy to cuddle." Jay chuckled and put his hand out to Erin while getting up from the couch.

Erin just looked at him with a questioning look on her face.

"Oh I guess I should ask first... Erin would you like to meet my daughter. Although she is sick and will be grumpy?" Jay smiled.

Erin had a smile on her face that reached both her eyes.

"I would love to meet your daughter. Although she is sick and will be grumpy." Erin took Jays hand and stud up from the couch.

They made it save to Jays apartment complex, Erin driving Jays car while her car staid at her place.

As soon as she put the car in park they stepped out and went into his apartment. It was mostly silent expect for a whimper that came from down the hall. Jay put his keys and phone in the bowl next to the door and made his way down the hall with Erin close behind.

"Hey sweet pea." Jay said softly while entering his bedroom, spotting Heather laying in his bed with Madeline on top of her. He bed down and ran his hand over her back.

"Thank you for staying longer tonight." Jay said while picking up Madeline and Heather climbed out of his bed.

"Sure thing, always for that little princess." Heather smiled and gave Madeline a kiss on her forehead and started to walk out, she stopped in front of Erin "I hope Jay could explain everything," Heather looked behind her where Jay was bouncing up and down comforting his young daughter "Maybe we can catch up some time."

"Yeah I would like that." Erin said and watched Heather walk out.

Jay was now laying in his bed with Madeline on top of him just like with Heather a couple minutes earlier.

"C'mon you can lay down next to me. She's pretty tiered but at least you can get a good look at her now." He whispered.

Erin slowly approached the other site of the bed and made herself comfortable. One of Jays hand was running down Madeleines back while his other one took a hold on Erin's. After a couple minutes he bought their hands to his mouth and kissed Erin's knuckles.

They both didn't know where they were standing but it didn't matter right now, they would face that the next day.

A/N: So that's basically it, what I had in my mind when I got the idea for that story. Is it realistic? Who knows I don't really care. Tell me what you think and if I should continue, I have no idea how just a few bread crumbs but maybe you got an idea. J

Thanks for reading -N