Chapter 60 - You're My Reason to be Brave

"...And that's why the monument was created. So that we can be thankful for having a city to live in," finished Shego sarcastically.

The couple was taking a tour of Go City Hall with Shego commenting on the history behind each of the monuments in place, along with the various architectural histories about the city. Kim had noticed that Shego had remained slightly irritated throughout the whole tour but chose to remain silent on it. What she did try to do was to try to get her girlfriend on camera, but that also turned out to be a bad idea since Shego ended up frowning in a majority of the pictures.

Good job, Kim. Your girlfriend probably thinks you think she's abusive. Way to try to talk to her about anger management... You've only irritated her more, Kim thought. Maybe we should've gone shopping instead...

But they didn't. When the tour was over, Shego merely asked Kim what they should do next.

"Are you cold? Maybe we should head indoors?" asked Shego.

Kim shook her head. It wasn't cold enough to warrant them to wear mittens or toques, but it was still nippy.

"Maybe let's just take a walk in the park we passed by earlier."

"Sure." Shego took Kim's hand in hers and put it into her coat pocket.

They walked in silence before Shego audibly sighed. "Sorry, Kim. I'm still a bit agitated about my dad bringing up me slugging Horace in the jaw. It's not who I am and I hope I never will be someone like that."

"I'm sorry I brought it up after we left the study... it's not right of me to pry-"

"-You weren't prying, you were just concerned about me. I get it. It's just that bringing up that incident just brought on a whole set of emotions that I did not want to revisit. If anything, I'd much rather have slugged Morgan in the face when we broke up. But, whatever. It's only been two years. I have to let things go to move forward in life." Kim gave her hand a light squeeze. "Don't worry, Kim. I'm fine now."

"Ok... but to be honest, I did enjoy how you were sarcastic about the monuments... it made Go City's history more colourful."

Shego looked up at the sky for a moment and mumbled, "We all strive for some sort of colour in our lives every now and then."

Not letting go of their hands, Kim stood in front of Shego and looked her in the eye. "You're the colour in my life now, Shego. Don't forget that. No matter how much bad memories continue to hurt you. Know that I'm here for you."

The older woman more or less bear hugged Kim and held onto the redhead for a good five minutes before finally speaking. "You know you have a way with words, Princess... But, thank you." She let go of the now flushed redhead and gave her a kiss.

"Come on, let's go back to the car so I can grab that book to give to Martha..."

"Who's Martha?"

"You'll see..."

Wow. This is one huge library," whispered Kim as they entered Go City Hall's library. "I'm surprised it's open during the holiday season."

"Martha would never close it during a holiday season... she says it's because she knows there are people out there who still prefer the peace and quiet of a library to the bustling sounds of a shopping mall," replied Shego as she walked towards the centre desk in the building.

The elderly woman sitting at the desk smiled as she saw Shego approach. "Sheridan! What a pleasure to see you! You must thank your parents for sending me that sweater and homemade Bundt cake. It was wonderful... Your mother's recipes never cease to amaze me."

"Haha, I'll pass on your thanks to them. Did you get my card? I'm sorry I couldn't stop by yesterday since that was when I got home but hopefully I mailed it to you in time?"

"Oh, yes, yes, indeed. Such a lovely card. How is life in Middleton?" asked Martha. As Kim approached the desk, she could see that Martha was knitting prior to noticing Shego in the library.

"Well, I have a friend I'd like you to meet," said Shego as she put an arm around Kim. "This is Kim, Martha. Martha, Kim. Martha's been the city hall's librarian for many, many years."

"Oh, come now, Sheridan, you flatter me. I've only been working here for forty years."

"That's still many, many years," said Shego. Turning to Kim, Shego explained, "I've been going to this library as a child... And Martha's always been so helpful with making sure I checked out the right books for school. Oh, speaking of which, here's something to add to the catalogue." The pale woman handed Martha a book and much to her amusement, Martha simply laughed.

"Another one of those books from your brother?"

Shego nodded. "He thinks I need these... To, you know, 'fix' me."

"I'll list this as a donation then... So, Kim, have you ever been to a library like this one?"

The redhead shook her head.

"Come, I'll give you a quick tour. The design of the building is unique in itself too. How many libraries are circular in nature? Not too many." She pointed to a wall to her right. "The Dewey system starts here and ends," she pointed to her left, right above the library entrance, "right there. We stick with what works in such an interesting building - all the shelves are aligned in such a way you might think it's a maze... But, it's much easier to find things compared to the Universal Decimal System."

Kim smiled. "I'm sure it is... Did you know Sheridan sorts her books by-"

"-publication date, yes, I know," replied Martha. "Sheridan's an oddball-"

"-Hey!" laughed Shego. "You should be telling Kim my redeeming traits!"

Martha chuckled. "I'm sure you have many, Sheridan, but it's more of a hoot to poke fun at you instead."

Martha led them around the library for about half an hour before leaving the two near the stacks.

"I've got to go back to work-"

"-There's hardly anyone here, Martha. Besides, what work do you have?" asked Shego.

"Well, you just donated a book, so I have to fill out the paperwork on that. Enjoy the library, Kim. Sheridan, it was great seeing you, please give my regards to your family."

"Sure thing, Martha." Shego gave the woman a hug before she walked back to the circulation desk.

As they silently walked around the stacks, Kim asked, "I bet you used to come here all the time as a kid."

"What are we betting on?"

"Uh, nothing-"

Shego kissed Kim by surprise. "A kiss, then." She chuckled at Kim's startled expression. "I came here a lot with my dad as a kid. Martha is very much like a grandmother figure to me... The first time I checked out a book, she gave me candy and sweets and would even read to me when she was on break... When I was a bit older, I used to volunteer here on weekends..."

Kim watched Shego recall a childhood memory before she smiled bitterly. "Sadly, we drifted a bit when I was in high school... Martha had really old-fashioned views and when she found out I was dating her niece, she was anything but kind to me."

"I'm sorry..."

"It was so strange, to not be welcomed in a place I used to find solace in. I admit, she found out about us right here." Shego pointed to a space between two shelves. "She caught us kissing and it was, uh, more embarrassing than anything. She told me that she had never been so disappointed at anyone in her life... We were young and foolish, I guess... It took Martha a while to forgive the both of us... And we broke up right then and there because we didn't want to do any more damage to our relationship with her. I guess you can say it was a classic case of just simply caving into social pressures and expectations... Something I only realised long afterward."

Shego pulled out a book from the shelf as Kim was unsure what to say. The older woman flipped around the book before putting it back on the shelf.

"Sometimes, I honestly think it hurt me more that Martha was upset at me. My parents merely said they were ok with me dating girls, but you should've seen the disapproving looks Martha gave me when I came back to volunteer that summer. It was awkward... There was so much tension that I wasn't sure if things could go back the way they were... But, in due time, it did. We never discussed the subject again. Her niece actually went off to New York City to be a counsellor for parents of queer youth. I'm sure Martha's come to terms with it all, but we just don't talk about it."

Kim chose her words carefully. "I think, wherever we go, there will always be opinions, some of them more hurtful than others, but we just have to accept the fact that not everyone understands... It's... tough."

Shego smiled sadly. "That, it is..." Taking Kim's hand, she led the redhead through a meandering set of bookshelves. She stopped at a set of shelves and sat down. Kim followed suit and looked quizzically at her girlfriend.

"I used to sit here and read whatever books that I could pull off from the shelf... It just so happens that a majority of the books I found here were all history books." Shego self-consciously pushed up her glasses on her nose before Kim leaned over to brush hair from her eyes.

The redhead murmured, "Forever a bookworm."

"Hopefully a cute one," commented Shego before Kim kissed her on the nose.

They sat on the floor holding hands for a little while before Shego asked, "What do you want to do for the rest of the day now that I've given you a tour around?"

"Maybe grab a bite?" On cue, Kim's stomach growled as Shego laughed.

"Sure." As Shego got up, she saw that Martha was walking toward them. Unsure of whether the woman saw their public displays of affection, she gently tugged Kim's hand to let the redhead know Martha was headed their way. Kim let go in response as Martha approached them.

"I'm going to be closing up for lunch," said Martha. "Would you care to join me?"

Kim gave a nod when Shego looked over at her in response.

"We'd love to."

"So, tell me, Kim, how long have you and Sheridan been together?" The elderly woman looked at the redhead and laughed at Kim's surprised look. "Oh, don't be so surprised. I could see you both care for each other from a mile away."

Kim cleared her throat. She hadn't expected to field such a question when Shego told them to grab a spot at the diner while she parked the car. The trio had fetched Shego's car from the city hall parking lot after leaving the library and decided to eat at one of Martha's favourite restaurants.

"Oh, come now, Kim, don't be shy."

The redhead shrank back in her seat. "Since the end of the summer, so four months and a bit."

"Huh, it seems like much longer to me." Nodding at the waiter who came over with cups of hot tea, Martha smiled at Kim. "Relax, Kim, I don't bite. I might've in the past... Not now. Times have changed." Martha looked at the steam escaping her mug. "I realise now that I was not approachable in the past with how I dealt with Shego's 'incident'..."

"I don't think she blames you," said Kim in a small voice. It really was not her place to speak for Shego on the matter, but she did want to speak her mind. "Like you said, times have changed."

"And I realised I can't stay stuck in the past... When I found out about Shego and Marlee, my niece, I did what I had supposed every adult would do: freak out." Martha sipped on her tea before waving at Shego to come over. "When you're as prehistoric as me, Kim, it takes a very long time to slowly adjust to the times."

Shego sidled beside Kim in the booth. "So, Martha, digging up dirt on me through Kim?"

"No, I merely asked about your relationship."

Shego choked on her tea.

"Yes, I figured that would be your reaction," laughed Martha. "Although Kim's was more amusing."

Shego turned a deep shade of scarlet that Kim had never seen before. She must be really embarrassed about this conversation, the redhead thought.

Martha simply burst out laughing. "Sheridan, dear, you didn't think I would notice? You didn't think I would see the two of you holding hands in the library?"

It was Kim's turn to turn pink as Shego bit her lip. She calmly stated, "I guess you caught us red-handed, Martha."

Martha merely shrugged. "It's not a matter of catching anyone red-handed. Sheridan, dear, I was telling Kim just now that times have changed and I can't remain old-fashioned."

Shego rubbed the back of her neck. "I don't think any of this warrants a discussion, Martha. What's done in the past is done."

"I owe you an apology, Sheridan."

Kim interrupted by getting up. "I'm just going to go to the bathroom." She felt that this was a conversation meant for the two women and not herself. She figured she would give them as much time as they needed to sort things out.

"Martha, this isn't necessary... I forgave you a long time ago." Shego leaned back in her chair.

"I wasn't upset with you... It just caught me by surprise that you and Marlee were seeing each other. And given how old-fashioned things are with someone as old as me, it does take time to, uh, adjust."

"You're entitled to your own opinion, Martha. I accepted that a long time ago."

"But I hurt your feelings... Marlee's too."

"We were young, we were foolish. Everyone has those phases."

"But I hardly thought of it as a phase-"

Shego sighed. "Martha, I know things were tense between us for that year or two... But it made me realise how important you were to me. When my parents were busy with work and my older brothers were bullying me, you really showed me the wonders of literature and the library. I can't thank you, and my dad, enough for that. Although I've ended up in a field that is completely irrelevant, I'm grateful that my life took this path." Shego played with the fork in front of her. "Do you remember that time I asked you for career advice?"

Martha smiled. "Of course I do. I had never see you so distressed..." The elderly woman wrinkled her brow as she dug out the memory. "It was a week before I found out about you and Marlee..."

"I made a promise to myself that I would try to make you proud again since you said I was-"

"A great disappointment to me," Martha hesitantly finished. "You weren't, I took out the shock and anger out on you when I shouldn't have."

Shego continued playing with her fork. "Mom told me that you would ring her up some weekends to check up on me... I knew you weren't disappointed in me because you still cared."

"I still do, Sheridan."

"I know..."

Shego noticed Kim was hovering near the diner's bathroom door. The redhead was watching the exchange from afar and had a smile on her face. Shego smiled back before realising that Martha was studying her face.

"You really care about her, don't you?" asked the elderly woman.

Shego nodded in response. "Martha, Marlee and I were... I don't want to say foolish, but maybe we were a bit reckless, in high school... We were on a path of self-discovery at that age. I'm even inclined to say I'm still on that path because Kim is making me realise things about myself I never noticed."

"At the time, I had thought it was just a phase for you and Marlee... But it never was. I was wrong to think that, I'm sorry. Several years too late for this..."

Shego took Martha's hand. "It's ok, Martha. I forgive you. I've always known you cared."

Martha dabbed her eyes with a napkin and nodded at Kim to come back to the table.

"So, ladies, what'll you have?" asked the waiter as Kim sat down.

"Oh, the usual, Paul," said Martha as she handed him the menu.

"Chicken club for me," said the redhead.

"I'll have the house special," said Shego.

When the waiter left, Shego asked, "So how are your grandchildren, Martha? They're all grown up now, right?"

The woman laughed. "If you count being ten and seven years old as grown up, then sure. They're a handful, I don't remember you being mischievous as they are now."

Kim smiled. "Sheridan was mischievous?"

"Very. Despite being quite the bookworm, she would sometimes play hide and seek in the stacks and have me find her when her father came to pick her up."

"You're forgetting that time I took a bunch of books and made a fort," laughed Shego. Turning to Kim, she said, "Martha was less than pleased with that... But I was five, so it was excusable."

"If you did that now, young lady, I'd have to revoke your library rights," mused Martha. "Sheridan was an active child, Kim. Perhaps she's mellowed out over the years, but she'll always be the little girl who gave me quite the headache... Climbing shelves to get books and playing with her imaginary historical friends, Fig Newton and Gally."

"Isaac Newton and Galileo Galilei," Shego clarified for Kim. "I couldn't say their names when I was a kid, so I made up nicknames for them."

Kim laughed. "Must've been quite a sight."

"Oh, it was. Unfortunately, my grandchildren are not as, sophisticated, shall we say, as how Sheridan was as a child. They don't like to read, but like to play with toys and whatever electronic gadgets are available these days. Technology is ruining children's appreciation for classic pastimes like reading."

"I might have to disagree with you there, Martha," said Kim. "Electronic books are still popular, but I suppose every form of technology has their pros and cons. Hardcovers are bulky, e-readers are portable, but you don't get the same sort of satisfaction when you finish an e-book that is supposed to be three inches thick on paper."

Martha concurred. She proceeded to talk to the couple about declining number of visitors in the library and about how city funding has still managed to keep the library open. When all the food was done, the three women headed back to the library by car.

"Well, it was good to see you again, Sheridan," said Martha as she unlocked the library doors. "And it was a pleasure meeting you, Kim."

"Likewise. Happy holidays, Martha," said the redhead. She gave the woman a hug and headed back to the car, leaving Shego to bid Martha goodbye.

"I hope you do visit more often in the future, Sheridan. I have missed our talks..."

"Me too, Martha." Shego gave her friend a hug and whispered, "I'm sorry about everything in the past. I had no intention of hurting you."

Martha shook her head. "Dear child, it's never your fault for liking someone. Love has no boundaries."

Shego smiled. "Take care, Martha. I'll stop by again before I leave Go City. You should come over for dinner - Mom and Dad would love it if you do."

"I'll give your mother a call. It's been a while since I've seen your brothers."

"Ok."

"What do you want to do now?" asked Kim.

"I'd very much like to go home and sleep," murmured Shego as she climbed into the car.

"Tired?"

"A bit."

"Ok."

Shego backed out of the lot and turned into a side street where there was not too much traffic. "Kim..."

"Hmm?"

"Sorry if Martha embarrassed you."

"Embarrass me how?" Kim patted Shego's hand as they headed back to the Godeaux house.

"There's just been a lot of discussion of our relationship at home and even with Martha-"

"It doesn't make me uncomfortable to talk about us. After all, it's always good to talk about the people who make me happy."

"I make you happy?" Shego have the redhead a quizzical look as the car stopped at a red light.

"Yes, silly, you do." Kim leaned over and kissed her girlfriend on the mouth. "Very, very happy."

Before Shego could respond, the car behind honked at them. The light had changed back to green. Her face remained flushed as she shot Kim a teasing look before accelerating the car.

Author's Notes: Kim has a way with words.

Back story with Martha is mostly filler, I guess.

Probably the last update for 2012 since I will be off for vacation soon. Happy holidays! See you in 2013!

Chapter title is from "Brave" by Josh Groban.