"-I don't want to see you waiting, I've already gone too far away. I still can't keep the day from ending, no more messed up reasons for me to stay. Well, this is not for real, afraid to feel. I just hit the floor, don't ask for more, I'm wasting my time, I'm wasting my time... You can't stop the feeling, there is no reason, just make the call and take it all again... whoa, again..."

-Default: Wasting My Time

"You're alright, aren't you?" Rod questioned gently, watching her face with caution as though he was expecting her to break down into tears at any given second. Michelle kept a straight face. She didn't look particularly sad, but she didn't look at him, either. Upon receiving nothing but stony silence, the man sighed and scratched his head awkwardly.

"...I'm not gonna lie," he started up again after some hesitation. "I know you like him a lot... but what that guy of yours did back there... was pretty... mean."

Mean. That was the nicest word he could have came up with, considering the whole situation.

Again, there wasn't a given reply and Rod let his hand drop from his head limply, planning to drop the subject entirely since it looked as if Michelle wasn't ready to say anything just yet. When she did, he was faintly surprised so he quickly straightened up as she spoke.

"I know." Those two words sounded both heavy and thoughtful at the same time as they flowed out of the girl, who continued refusing to look at Rod. Just when Rod was about to reply, she spoke again.

"There were a few people in my life that I was really, really close to and most of them ended up hurting me badly before. I've already dealt with this before I even met him. If you're worried about me, don't be. I am hurt, really. But I'm sure as hell not going to cry over him."

Michelle tucked her hair behind her right ear and exhaled a good, long sigh. In a way, she nearly seemed carefree as she hooked her fingers together and stretched her arms high above her head, an unfitting humor now riding in her words.

"...Because, like you said, what that guy of mine did back there... was pretty mean, wasn't it?"

Finally, she looked and half-forced a grin at her boss; just as a simple form of reassurance, before the silver bell at the door tinkled on cue when a customer walked into the shop and forced the conversation to come to an end.

Hey, Near.

I've thought about it over and over again. About you. About me. About us.
And this is what I have to say...

"You know, some things in life just aren't fair.There are some things that seem very, very fair and satisfactory, as well as things that can very easily hold you by a leash just because it can. A very good example of how just unfair life can be would be something like the matters of the heart.

Sometimes you can control people, and sometimes you can't. That plainly shows the limited extent of how powerful a person can be. Emotions are nasty, cruel overlords living inside of your heart, who can control you any time, in any place, through any way they want to. You can choose not to show your emotions, and there are people who turn out to be very good at hiding them, pretending that they're completely in command. But in the end, you will always, always somehow lose to your emotions in one way or another. You will find that they play a very big influence even in defining what is logical too, if you think about it. This is simply the truth reality holds. We lose to our emotions hands-down.

Emotions have 'personalities', you know. Anger is unreasonable and chaotic, happiness is pleasing and warm, sadness is lonely and tiring, jealousy is stubborn and overpowering... and... would you consider love an emotion...?

Because love is never, never the same. I would say that love is actually every emotion stirred into one big soup. Love is unreasonable, chaotic, pleasing, warm, lonely, tiring, stubborn, overpowering..."

Michelle digresses from her train of thought, and shifts abruptly over to the next one.

"Human beings are natural-born liars. It doesn't matter if you say you're not a liar, because, undeniably, you are one. Everybody lies. At least once. From kids to parents, from your most hated rival or your next door neighbor; we all do it. The simple difference that varies is that not everyone is aware of it.

A person can lie and know that they are lying, and not be bothered by it, but the person standing next to the first, might lie and not even know what's happening.

And I.

I have been lying to myself for so long. That's the problem with me, you see? From the very start, even way back when I was still back at home, I had a bad habit of lying. To the people around me, and to myself most of the time. Sometimes, I would do it on purpose, and sometimes it really isn't my fault, because my emotions, being the fucking overlords they are, make me do it without me realizing.

Lying comes hand in hand with denial, and denial leads to downfall. Maybe I can even call them the same thing. They probably are. I denied that I needed to work harder at my studies. I denied the suspicions that my relationships were not really what I thought they were. I denied that I needed to change myself. I denied, lied, to myself that I was fine the way I was. And all of this has destroyed me from the inside out.

But let's not dwell on depressing details like that, because it's all in the past. Lying or denying is now considered a form of 'running away' to me. I refuse to run away anymore. I am getting sick of it. I need to work on changing myself. There have been so many things that I let go wrong that I've got to get at least this one right no matter how much effort it takes. I just have to. I need to fix it. Now that I've learned my lesson and opened up my eyes a little, I'm going to find a damn way to fight the urge to run away. I'm not going to stop. If I do, then the answer will obviously, without a doubt, always be 'no'.

Never. Give. Up."

That was her final conclusion. She wasn't going to let everything end just like that yet. It was far too late now for her to back down, but way too early for her to give everything up. Near could throw everything and anything he wanted at her, and she knew she was still going to be there. No more running away from difficult matters. She could take it all.

Because, to her, he was more than worth it.

Was she finally out of his life for good? And if she really was, did he even care?

Days dragged by awkwardly and all forms of contact between Near and Michelle ceased to exist. No meetings, no phone calls, no text messages from cell phones, no nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.

It was as if they never even met.

Near sat in his bedroom, building impressive structures out of thousands and thousands of pieces of dice as usual, trying furiously to keep himself occupied with at least something, after being tired of freaking out all by himself. It was the fourth day of returning to being alone again, and while he was slightly relieved, he had a bland feeling of uneasiness hanging over his head.

Honestly, you can't expect to feel normal once you got used to something, spent almost two months with it and then to have it unexpectedly cut off and removed from your life. It would feel... weird. And that was exactly how Near felt.

He took a short glance at the clock and noticed that it was about a little pass noon, usually the time where Michelle would give him a ring or a text and pester him with some sort of invitation to go out and 'play'. He looked away and begun stacking dice faster.

He was glad that he didn't have to face her only because he wouldn't have known what to do or how to react. Especially if she were to start crying or something, because isn't that usually what girls did when they were hurt? He was about sure that he had wounded her feelings from that brutal rejection. After he had calmed down, he had replayed the scene back in the park over and over again mentally, analyzing the situation with every bit of seriousness he would apply to a murder case.

So many questions whizzed through his mind so many times, and to his frustration, he couldn't answer them on his own. To make matters worse, the only person who could probably quench his the thirst for answers was the very one whom he dreaded to see.

Clack, clack, clack...

...It used to be so noisy when she was here, he couldn't help but notice. Now the only sounds that were left were the sounds of dices clicking together into place as the towers came to life. He used to enjoy this silence, but now it just felt so wrong. All because she wasn't here with her deafening thunder.

Why didn't she call? She wouldn't have lost his number, unless of course, she had decided to delete it, but Near decided that wouldn't have been very Michelle at all. In fact, he had more expected her to pop up by his doorstep loaded with words and awaited emotional drama, and he unconsciously waited for the time a maid would interrupt him, saying that a 'strange girl with black hair' was requesting for him. She knew where he lived. She would do it.

But when she didn't, Near started to rethink that maybe he didn't know her as well as he thought he did. Her out of the blue confession was probably enough proof to back that up. That girl was something he could not yet comprehend.

Clack, clack, clack...

Vaguely, he recalled the first and only time he had allowed her to come inside. It was about a month ago, when he was still wary about becoming too attached, and didn't want her going anywhere near his house. That day had been an exception, because it started raining and his place happened to be thankfully a stone's throw away.

Michelle followed him like a puppy with a master around the house, never leaving his side and eventually they arrived at his room. She had sat backwards on the swivel chair as he settled on the floor, and observed him with childlike awe as he built a ginormous, towering house of cards without any trace of difficulty at all. Near had made sure that his hands were particularly steady that day, and that the design of his creation was more complex and complicated than usual.

It only occurred to him now that he was unconsciously trying to impress her. That was the only time he had ever put in effort to impress someone before, and it made him wonder.

When she praised him over and over again for his prowess and skill, for once, he felt proud, even though he never showed it. He only ever felt that way the first few times he had continued to top the rankings at Wammy's, and even that feeling of achievement grew dull. Why a couple of exaggerated compliments he heard a million times from others before, now coming from a girl he once labeled a pest made him feel gratified, was beyond him.

Near shifted a little to begin on the other half of his masterpiece. He grabbed a large handful of dice in his left hand and the clicking of construction continued.

Clack, clack, clack...

...It was too quiet...

Clack, clack...

Hmmm...

Suddenly, a terrible thought crossed his mind and made him knock over a small portion of his building by accident. She couldn't have committed suicide, could she..?

Near's eyes expanded as he contemplated and weighted out the possibility. Michelle was so emotional... and rash. What if she chose to do that because her misery had been too overbearing? Would she have killed herself because of... because of him?

He forced himself to mash up those thoughts and burn them to little ashes. No, even if Michelle was emotional, suicide was a very serious decision and he doubted she would go to that extreme. Besides, even if she did kill herself, it would be all over the papers, he reasoned.

Best not to dwell so much on it...it was none of his business what she did with her life. His hand reached out to fix the part of building he messed up.

Clack... clack... clack...

Barely a minute passed and the insane thoughts revived on their own and started attacking him in every possible way at the speed of light. His fingers moved fast to try and chase them away.

...What if she decided to kill herself, but hasn't yet? What if she's on top of a skyscraper this very second, writing her last words on a piece of paper and is getting ready to take the plunge? What if she's locked up in her toilet and downing pills? What if-

ClackClackClackClackClack-

THUMP!

What was that? Near stopped his rapid construction and listened for that interfering noise. He raised his head and looked around the room, blinking and wondering if it had just been his mind playing tricks on him again.

Thump! Thump! Thump!

There it was again. It was coming from the window. His eyes swiveled over to the window and he stared curiously at it before a pebble flew up and conked the glass. Someone was downstairs and throwing stones at his window.

Thin eyebrows raised with a sneaking suspicion. Near stood up from the floor and shuffled over to the window and peered down, gray orbs keenly searching for the culprit.

...looks like she's still alive and well, after all.

Michelle, already impatient with the lack of response, was about to bend over and pick up another pebble- a particularly big one- when she looked up and saw a familiar white face glaring down at her like how an eagle would stare down at its prey.

She flashed a bright smile, waved heartily before dusting her hands together and stood up straight as he carefully unlatched and opened the windows.

Before he had the chance to say or ask something,- such as; where the hell have you been for these last few days?- she pointed passionately at him and grinned like a Cheshire cat, reaching behind to grab the acoustic guitar laid on the ground behind her.

"Yo! Near! This one's for you!"

The albino detective frowned, not knowing what she meant at first when she reached into her pocket and took out a guitar pick. The music of the guitar filled the air, and was even loud enough to hear clearly from where he was.

...Dear God. She's not going to start doing what I think she's going to is sh-

"Hey, boy!" The first two words of the song were sung, confirming his fears and his already pale face looked even paler than usual. "You've got a smart way about you, that makes me... wish that I was smart enough for you!"

"What on earth are you doing?" Near hissed, actually sounding bewildered for once. The guitar playing and a girl lingering in front of his house was starting to attract stares and whispers from random passerbys.

"Hey boy, you've got a fine laugh and I think that I could get used to that!" She continued singing, ignoring the attention she was getting, as well as the horror evident on Near's face. "And you're already used to laughing at me..."

As if on cue, a few snickers were heard behind her and Near felt like hiding himself. He didn't leave, however. He had to watch. It was like being there to observe a speeding vehicle heading straight for a tree, and then crashing and burning.

To make matters worse, a few of the members of his staff were gathered downstairs and peeking through the front door to see what all the fuss was about. Some of them looked amused, but most of them were shocked. How was Near going to explain this embarrassing event later on?

"So what if your friends think I'm crazy?" the Asian girl pointed at every male staff gawking at her and the male passerbys standing a distance behind her watching her perform. "Well, I wasn't trying to impress those guys, anyway! They're all theory, no action, and where I'm from, we live like it's the latest attraction!"

Near twitched when some people actually started to cheer encouragingly and wolf-whistle, shouting out comments like, 'Yeah! You go for it, girl!' and 'That girl's got guts!'. He couldn't take it anymore and tore himself from the window to stalk out of his room and down the hallway as quickly as he could.

He pushed aside the small crowd of his staff members irritably and squeezed through to get in front, shooting her death glares from his doorstep. Michelle didn't even flinch, a sheepish grin on her face as she waltzed forward.

"Michelle..." He started off quietly but angrily, trying his best not to show too much of it.

"Hey, boy, you've got a short fuse, and I've got designs on lighting you up, and setting you off... " She deflected his words once again and kept on singing, making a daring move to tilt his chin upwards with her finger, at which he hastily pulled away. "Watching you burn for me..."

And yes. Near was burning. There was red flooding his hot cheeks, and he wasn't sure if it was more from embarrassment or anger. He clenched his fists lightly by his sides and stared at her coldly with acid. Then, when that didn't work, he switched to closing his eyes and waited for her to finish her ridiculous serenade.

"Go on, go on, your cruel intentions won't solve your problems, everyone's gotta get bottom, bottomed out in the long run and those are the times you need love..." the words of the Dashboard Confessional song faded away together with the sweet tunes of the acoustic guitar.

Near took a deep breath and exhaled quietly, inwardly relieved, albeit still annoyed, as Michelle slung the instrument over her shoulder and looked around, grinning and looking pleased with herself. The people who stayed to watch eventually departed and the staff retreated back inside to give them some privacy after a sharp warning glance from Near.

He turned back to her with an expressionless face that definitely stated how unamused he was with her little stunt, arms crossed unfavorably over his chest.

"...Are you quite done?"

With a stupid-looking smirk on her face, Michelle nodded and started to rub the back of her neck with her left hand. "Yeah... hi, Near." She greeted and fluttered her fingers sheepishly at him.

"What is the meaning of all of this?" He avoided beating around the bush and went directly straight to the point, demanding an explanation, gesturing to her guitar by glaring at it. "What merits do gain from embarrassingme like this? I don't appreciate you making me look like a fool as well as yourself, Michelle."

Michelle winced slightly at the sternness that was evident in the way he was speaking. She hadn't expected him to get so riled up over it. Feeling a prickle of disappointment, she dropped her hand from the back of her neck and pursed her lips together.

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry-"

"Kindly leave." The request was more of a command, and it was apparent that Near wanted her out of his sight immediately. She was not down with that.

"No."

"You are trespassing on private property," warned Near, the icy tone never wavering. "Please leave before I report you to the authorities."

"I'm not leaving until we fix everything between us," The reply was twice as stubborn and matched up strongly with his strictness. Michelle had squared her shoulders in determination now and raised her chin a little in defiance, and for a fleeting second, Near was at a lost of what to do. He didn't really want to call the cops on her, but he wouldn't stand by watching her march her own parade like this.

And what was she blabbering on about? Fix everything between us? Near snorted at the thought. Yes, she completely vanishes from sight for a number of days and then shows up like this, uttering garbage once again. So typical. This was to be expected. In his head, he was blaming her again, suddenly forgetting that it was his fault that she pulled a disappearing act in the first place.

He still couldn't argue with the fact that he was just the slightest bit glad that she reappeared once more, and looked to the side to avoid it showing as he pulled at some of his hair and pretended to be interested in a bird preening itself on a tree branch. "...What do you want? There is nothing to fix... and where did you go to these last four days?" He couldn't help but ask. "I thought you had died."

"Yeah, right!" Michelle cried, actually stomping her foot temperamentally, her guitar nearly slipping off the slope of her shoulder with the violent movement. "It's just so like you to say that! You're such a cold-hearted jerk, Near! When a girl gathers up enough guts to tell you that she fancies you, you don't just run away from her! I poured my whole heart into that confession, you know! The least you could do was REJECT ME LIKE A REAL MAN! That was the first time I ever confessed to anyone and you just... you... ughh! Goddammit!"

Her emotions were spilling out from everywhere; her actions, her words, pretending to be hysterical and treating the whole thing with as much causality as possible. Her eyes reflected irritation, disbelief, anger and just a bare hint of hurt- Near noted with a small pang of guilt that he quickly shoved off- but she still managed a wry grin on her face. At least she wasn't bawling her eyes out.

He listened to her ramble on for a few more seconds before cutting in to stop her, his tone a little softer than before, his agitation subsiding.

"...I understand where you're getting at Michelle, and I accept that you're upset. But you have to understand... that I can't... do that with you..." His volume was growing lower and lower as his eyes snapped back to the bird he was looking at earlier, following it as it flapped its wings and flew away.

There was a short pause. Then Michelle spoke up again.

"Do what? Get into a relationship with me? Why not, Near? Do you hate me that much?"

Another pause. Near shook his head after thinking it over carefully.

"...That's not it." He mumbled. "I... consider you to be... okay company." Despite the agony and unwanted stress you bring me, I cannot lie about that fact.

Michelle clicked her tongue and sighed, her brown orbs turning to the other direction as she shifted on her feet. She glanced down and nudged a small pebble here and there with the front of her shoe and continued.

"...After you rejected me that day in the park, I went back home. Obviously I was confused, saddened and more than just a little disappointed. So, I sat in my living room and contemplated everything... about who we where, what we were and where we stood. Then, I realized, just because I have this huge, major crush on you, it doesn't mean... that you might feel the same way. It was wrong of me to force my feelings on you like that. So, I'm... sorry... for that, I guess." She said everything slowly in a low tone, and Near listened to each word carefully, his fingers fumbling through his hair as he stood at his doorstep awkwardly and watched the pebble being kicked around.

She heaved a long sigh and adjusted the instrument properly over her shoulder before kicking the pebble sideways, sending it rolling off into the distance. She spun on her heel and started to leave.

"I'll see you again tomorrow. I'm not going to give up so quickly."

"I don't believe in love," Near said, feeling the need to declare that in case she got the wrong idea again. "Michelle, I would advise you to drop it before you fall even deeper into this. I won't press charges against you if you insist on pestering me like this, but you're going to end up hurting yourself if you chase after something that you cannot achieve."

"I'll make you believe in love!" she snapped fiercely, glaring over her shoulder for his attempt at putting out her fire. The girl proceeded to make her way off his property and left without saying anything else.

Near waited until she was really gone before stepping inside and shutting the door a little too roughly. He was miffed. Who did she think she was?Nobody could change his mind once he had made it up. Not even her. He headed for the stairs, ignoring the stares from two of his maids hiding in a corner.

Fine, then. Let her try if she wants. The challenge is on.

I won't lose.

It was like a battle. A war of who could hold out longer than who, and it was utterly ridiculous.

Michelle wasn't kidding about not giving up, and she proved this by coming to his house and loitering below his house every day after the first. Near wasn't kidding about not giving in, either, so he tried his best to ignore her and leaf through some of the new documents L had sent to him instead. Now that Kira was slightly more active, it meant that Near was slightly more involved.

She would literally sit down in the grass, occasionally with a book or with her acoustic guitar, and waited for him for hours on end. For five whole days she kept this up, before she got bored and took it a step further and started to do 'things'.

Near deadpanned when he found his front door covered with colourful post-its in the shape of hearts, telling him how 'pretty', how 'smart', how 'attractive', how 'stubborn and fucking irritating' he was. He ordered his staff to take them off at once and dispose of them.

On a particular windy day, she sat on his front lawn, constructing a homemade kite out of paper and used a red permanent marker to write the words, 'TAKE A CHANCE ON ME! GO OUT WITH ME!' on the front and flew it in front of his window on purpose.

Near merely opened his window, armed with a pair of scissors and proceeded to snap off the strings and destroyed the kite without any remorse. "You're getting on my nerves, Michelle Chua," He raised the tone of his usually dull voice to state how displeased he was before throwing the tattered thing down, shutting the windows and drawing the curtains close.

Another day, she couldn't afford to be there to try and 'woo' him because she needed to be at the shop to take care of something, so instead, she hired someone else to do it for her. When the maid came up to his room and handed him a bouquet of twelve red roses, stating that a delivery man had arrived at the door and said it was for him, he didn't feel so bad... they were beautiful flowers.

He was only annoyed when he came down to search for a vase to put them in, only to find out that Michelle had also sent him lilies, carnations, sunflowers, daisies, tulips, tiger lilies, orchards, lilacs, chrysanthemums... the list was endless.

For a few days, his living room had transformed into a mini flora garden. It was tough clearing everything away once the flowers started to die out and left ugly, useless, wilting petals laying everywhere.

I might want to reconsider reporting her to the police, Near scowled as he peeped outside his window and saw Michelle squatted on his lawn with a stick, poking at a poor, defenseless, innocent beetle trying to scurry away from her with it. I don't know how much more of this nonsense I can take.

He was about to return back to his work when a flash of silver lightning slashed across the overcast sky and a clap of thunder boomed dangerously after. Not more than ten seconds later, it started raining cats and dogs, the cold raindrops pelting like a shower of gravel on his window.

...Good. Maybe that will chase her off today. He thought as he shuffled back over to his desk and began typing on his laptop with one hand, the other in his hair.

An hour later, the rain still wasn't letting up and Near wondered if it was going to last the whole day. He pushed himself off his seat and shuffled back over to the window to take a look at the gloomy, dark sky curiously. When he looked back down, he was taken aback.

What does she think she's doing..? He pressed his hands up against the glass and blinked harshly to make sure he wasn't seeing things. He squinted his eyes and saw through the slightly fogged up glass that it was her. Apparently, Michelle was still out there, despite the heavy downpour, and was currently dancing shelter-less in the rain. Stupid girl! She's going to fall ill if she stays out there in this kind of weather!

He went out of his room and headed downstairs, showcasing no emotions apart from his eyebrows being knitted together under his bangs as he grabbed an umbrella from the stand in by the front door. A middle-aged maid, Caroline, who had been worriedly watching Michelle from a small window downstairs, glanced over to Near in concern.

"She's been out there for quite a while now. I tried to convince her to go home, but she said she was fine." Caroline hesitated before averting her hazel eyes nervously, unsure of how Near would react. "She... she said that she wasn't going to leave until she got to you..."

Gritting his teeth a little at what Caroline told him, Near rolled his eyes and unlocked the front door, being unpleasantly introduced to a gust of chilly air as he stepped outside and opened up his umbrella.

"Hey! Near!" Michelle spotted him as he stepped onto the porch with the umbrella shielding his head, keeping him dry for the most part except for a few stray rain droplets flying with the wind, creating barely noticeable damp patches on his clothes. She danced up to him, still as cheerful as ever, and grinned. He scowled even more.

"Have you really lost it?" He scolded, gripping on tighter to the handle of the umbrella so it wouldn't get stolen by the increasing wind force.

"Nah," She calmly told him, looking up at his umbrella. "Cute umbrella. Why is it blue and has yellow rubber ducks on it?" She asked, amused by the design of the thing.

Near sighed. "Go home. You're going to get sick."

"No I won't," She danced away again, twirling around on one foot. "I have a pretty macho immune system, so I hardly ever get sick, and even if I do, I heal really quickly. It's no bother!"

Michelle whipped the wet hair out of her face and used her hand to claw her soaked bangs upwards so they wouldn't stick to her eyes. Raising her face up to the sky, she allowed the droplets to come showering down onto her, sliding off her skin and dribbling down her body, her clothes sticking to her flesh. Today, she was wearing blue. Funny how he only noticed that after he noticed everything else about her, including her expression, actions and the rest of her physical appearance of which the colour blue wasn't coating over.

Near didn't know what to do. Once again, he was caught between one choice and another, and it was causing him agitation. He just stood there on the porch, holding the umbrella and watched her dance, soon forgetting that he was supposed to try and get her home.

It was the way she was dancing around that made the thoughts slip out out of his head. But no, it wasn't that she was graceful or even dancing with a shred of professional skill or anything like that. She didn't posses the prowess of a gorgeous ballerina, gliding on her feet across the yard as if she were skating on ice. Not even close.

Michelle was stumbling over her feet clumsily, carelessly as she ran around in circles, sometimes waving her arms around frantically like a maniac as she shrieked and laughed loudly, trying to balance herself. She hopped in puddles and held her palms high to the sky, trying to catch the falling raindrops before doing the occasional three-hundred-and-sixty degrees spin. It was a chaotic, messy, yet unexplainable happy dance that prevented him from looking away. He couldn't help but watch her brave the elements, finding himself completely transfixed.

She was just so... well...

Near faltered slightly, holding the umbrella closer to him, his long, white fingers wrapping around the handle.

...It suited her. Something this crazy definitely suited her. And in a way... she looks... just faintly... attractive?

Hurriedly in denial, he shooed the last unimportant comment away from his brain and wondered how someone could possibly have so much fun in a thunderstorm, when it was so dangerous and cold and dreadful. He just couldn't get it, no matter how hard he tried.

Different... this was the very reason why they were in two separate worlds.

"You're mad," He wrinkled his nose and told her, still unable to understand her outlandish ways. The silly little grin came to life again at the sound of his disbelief and Near shook his head, catching hold of a wet sleeve and pulling her under the umbrella with him. "...Still, I wouldn't want you to catch ill. If you die from a sickness you caught from dancing like a buffoon under the rain in front of my house, I'd feel rather guilty."

"Awe, you do care!" Michelle gushed comically and Near deadpanned as he tugged her indoors. The girl was in hysterical giggles as she tumbled inside of the house, Caroline quickly rushing forward to hand them some towels.

Near took the towels, thanked the maid, and turned to throw one of them at Michelle's still stupidly grinning face. "Dry yourself," he commanded as he patted himself dry, the bottom of his pants a little wet. "I don't want you dripping all over the floor. In fact, I think you should borrow some dry clothes just in case." He glanced at Caroline and she nodded briefly, briskly walking away to get the spare clothes.

"You do know that lending me clothes ensures that I'll be coming back again, don't you?" Michelle smiled this time instead of grinning, cocking her head to the side in question.

"As if you won't return again, either way."

Soon, she was dried off and changed, prancing into the living room a minute or two later to join Near for some hot drinks in the living room. She sat with a mug of hot chocolate across the table from him on an armchair and he sat on another similar one, sipping tea.

"...You know..."

"-This is ridiculous. How long do you want to keep playing around like this?"

Michelle merely smiled politely back at the demanding question and blew gently on her drink. Near waited a reply from her and she took a few careful sips before actually speaking.

"...I'm not playing around, Near."

"Yes you are," The young pajama-clad boy insisted, lowering his tea. "This is all a game for you, isn't it? This.. this running around and pretending... pretending to have 'feelings' for me. I am not a fool, Michelle. I do not have any desire to partake in your games."

"Pretending? Who said anything about pretending, Near?" The mug of chocolate clinked nosily against the table as she set it aside, looking at him seriously with an intense gaze. "...I like you. I really do. I'm not just doing this for the sake of my own amusement. Can't you see? I really, really, really like you."

Doki-Doki-Doki-Doki-Doki...

His heart clenched and released and Near leaned back, unamused. "I don't believe you. You can't possibly like me as much as you claim. What do you take me for? Some kind of easy mark?"

"Near, if you really think that way of me, then I swear that you've got me all wrong."

"I will not submit to you."

"No one's asking you to submit to anything!" She sounded exasperated now, leaning back into the chair as well and sinking into her seat. "...This is not a game. This is not a challenge. This is my devotion to my feelings for you, Near."

He quickly ignored the increased beating of his heart and ran a hand through his hair, staring to the side. "... You claim that... your feelings for me are closely related to those of romantic ones," He set down his cup of tea as he talked. "Even if your feelings are sincere, I cannot accept them."

"And why not? Because you don't believe in love, Near?"

"That is correct, Michelle."

"It's people like you," the pitch of her voice was getting higher now, and her anger level were rising, and she didn't hesitate ascending to her feet to show it. "Who need to be talked some sense into!"

Near remained seated and glared back at her fiercely. "And it's people exactly like yourself who don't posses even a bit of sense."

"What do you have against love?"

"Love is horrible. It breaks you down, tears you apart, distorts your rational thinking and leaves you useless and gasping for breath. If you let anyone get too attached to you, you are bound to get hurt."

"And why do you say that? Have you even been in love before, Near?"

"No. But I have seen more than enough to know what it does to a person. And I must say, I don't find it to be very appealing."

"Love is also amazing. It builds you up, heals you, shows you a new way of thinking and leaves you feeling so much better about yourself and is simply breathtaking, all in all. You have to take a chance and trust people not to hurt you."

"And why do you say that, Michelle?" Near said skeptically, twirling the same lock of hair over and over again while staring at her with a dull gaze. "Have you ever been in love before?"

She moved forward over the small, round table and took his free hand in both of hers, clasping it tightly. He tensed at the action, but did not stop the twirling motion and looked at her awkwardly.

"No, I have never been in love before," Michelle muttered while looking at him dead in the eye. "...But I'm willing to try. With you... and only you. Why? Is that so wrong?"

As much as Near would have liked to yank his hand away from her firm grip, he couldn't move. The touch was an immobilizing one. He sat there, a small blush creeping over his cheeks despite his indifferent features. Snorting, he glanced to the side in pretense.

"...How cheesy..." Near muttered, but let her hold his hand, the warmness between her palms and fingers crawling onto his own flesh and made him feel good for some reason, in spite of his uncomfortableness. "...Did you know, Michelle Chua, that you are my enemy?"

When a look of confusion crossed her face, he explained further, "Anyone who goes against me, is considered my enemy. I do not have many enemies... only rivals. I think it's safe to say that you are the first."

"In that case," Michelle set his hand free lightly and went back to sitting down. Near was almost regretful that the lovely warmth felt his left hand, but of course, mentioned nothing. "...I guess... you might be my enemy as well, if you put it that way. Heh, don't you find that funny? First, from strangers, then to acquaintances, and then to friends, and then to enemies. And yet, for some reason, I feel even closer to you than I did before."

He was quiet for a second as she spoke, contemplating about what she just told him, and finding it strange that he just might have felt the same way as her for once. Was that abnormal?

"Near, let's escalate a level. I don't want to stay enemies. Nor do I want to go back to being just friends, because it's apparent that it's impossible for me. I want you... to be my partner."

"Partner?" Near echoed in slight curiosity and interest at her offer. Michelle nodded in reply.

"Yes, partner. Remember the time I asked what you wanted to be when you grew up? You told me you aspired to be the world's greatest detective, didn't you?" Near paused for a moment, recalling that time, and was inwardly surprised how how much of him he told her about. He was more surprised at how much he trusted her. He contemplated this and nodded to keep her going. "Yeah.. and then you told me once that when you're a detective, you have take all opinions and views in consideration."

"Yes, that's true, but I don't see where you're getting at?" He questioned and tilted his head to the right a little. Michelle smiled lightly.

"I aspire to be a writer. A writer's stories are only as realistic as what she herself has been through, or so that's what I personally believe. One can write a good story without experiencing any of it herself, but if she really wants to improve, she has to know what she's talking about. You know, the genre I work most on is Romance... and because I have never been in love, how can I possibly hope to write a best-selling romance novel?" She stopped shortly and then went on again, "Don't get me wrong. I'm not using you as a guinea pig for an experiment or anything. That's impossible to accomplish even if I wanted to. You can't bluff that you're in love. So don't worry."

Near was starting to catch on quickly with what she was trying to hint at.

"...So what you're implying is that this 'love' thing might benefit us both?" He arched his right eyebrow slightly and she shrugged.

"Maybe? I'm an author, I can definitely reap fruits from this, and you're a detective. Detectives need to prove the truth behind mysteries. Love is the biggest mystery of all, isn't it? No one knows how to define it." She used both her hands to gesture to herself. "I don't know how to define it. And you definitely don't know, either. I'm just trying to say that it's not useless..."

Fair enough, Near thought to himself, but was still skeptical about her trying to convince him like this. But I am not really worried about whether such a thing would prove to be beneficial or not, rather, more on how it will most likely end up as a disadvantageous bane.

"...So. We could both be wrong. Love might be a disaster in disguise, or maybe a miracle sent from heaven, for all we know. It might be a million and one things or whatever. We can't justify what it is. We can only conclude what our theory is by looking at other people. But how can you learn to walk like them and see what it's like if you don't get down and crawl first without worrying about getting mud on your knees, if you get what I mean?"

Near quietly contemplated this as well, sitting there without saying anything at all. Michelle sighed softly and lowered her eyes to her hands on her lap, shaking her head slightly.

"...Having said all of that, Near... in the end, I don't give a fuck about what the benefits of falling in love are. Why I want to get myself into this, is because... well, I know I sound like a broken record right now, but for the six hundredth time; I like you. Get that into your big, brilliant brain. I sound so fucking irritating right now, trying so badly to convince you." She raised her eyes to meet his once more.

"Basically, what I'm trying to tell you is, if you're willing to be my partner, if you're brave enough to do it, I'll hold your hand and we'll go through this together, headfirst. I hate making promises that I can't keep, so I can't promise that I won't hurt you, but I will promise you that if you give me a chance, I'll do my absolute best. We'll be partners, Near. I won't ever leave you alone. If an unhappy ending is waiting for us at the end, it'd probably be just another lesson in life that we have to learn and move on from. But... if you really want a happy ending, I suppose we can achieve that... we can write our own ending. We'd write one of our very own, one that no one else has ever read. Anything is possible with some effort..."

A crocked grin claimed her face and she laughed halfheartedly, pushing the bangs out of her face before looking away. "...Now, I'm just sick and tired of hearing my own voice, believe it or not... I'm blabbering to much. I don't think that I understand half of what the hell I'm talking about myself... I just...want..."

Too... many... things, maybe. You just happen to be one of them.

Michelle pursed her lips together and refused to say more, leaving the sentence uncompleted.

There was a short silence between the two after that. The type of silence that only meant that neither one of them knew what to say next. The thunder rumbled outside like a giant drum and both of them looked outside at the pouring rain through the window with different expressions. Near was grimacing away while Michelle hung her smile loosely on her lips.

Again, Near noticed this, and there were so many things he wanted to say that he didn't know where to start. Look at her. And look at him. Even their reactions showed so clearly how different they were. Surely it wouldn't work out, even if he wanted it? And did he want it...? He didn't know.

Wait. He didn't know? This was getting way too unusual and out of hand. For once in his life, Nate River, really didn't have a single clue. He was stumped.

What should he say? What should he do? The situation had caught him off guard and he was baffled. Logic told him to stay wise and not give in to this madness. On the other hand, his heart was pounding away like crazy and screaming for something else completely different.

He wanted to tell her so many things that were rushing through his brain. He wanted to ask; what if she was wrong? What if he wasn't capable of love? What if they were unhappy together? What if only regret awaited them? What if they weren't right for each other and they ended up hurt and broken? What if... what if... what if...?

Instead, he asked without thinking, "...Why do you like me?"

The light in her eyes flicked thoughtfully at the question and glanced downwards as she searched carefully for the right words to answer him. Why, huh? There were so many reasons, which one was the most responsible for her feelings?

She raised her glance back to him and said to him, "I'm not sure about which reason it is exactly, but I think that it's because you take up a very special spot in my life, Near. You've made me so happy and you probably didn't even mean to. You were the first thing that I ever got right. For someone like me, that means so much. And until you find something like what I've found in you, you won't be able understand how important you are to me."

'Important'...That single word carried so much weight within it. Near had to think carefully again and decide if she telling the truth or if it was just a lie she threw in to convince him. He calmly exchanged gazes with her, curious and unsettled.

And then, all of the sudden, he felt all of insecurities washing away, just like that only because the moment he looked at them, he was sure that those heartfelt, sincere brown eyes could not possibly belong to a liar. Could they?

"Near, do you want to be with me?"

He turned once he was faced with the dreaded question again. Near couldn't hear the logical part of his brain anymore over both the deafening sounds of rumbling thunder and the violent beating of his heart, which didn't die down even when Michelle left his house. She had left him patiently, still awaiting an answer from him.

For countless hours on end during that grueling stretch of that night, the troubled albino laid sleepless, tormented, and alone in his bed. Occasionally, he would toss and turn on his sides frustratedly as he worked hard wracking his brain, trying but without much success to solve the difficult question that so cruelly stole the ability to sleep away from him.

He laid motionless on his back in tiredness and stared with restless, dead eyes at the empty ceiling, wondering hard.

"How can you possibly provide someone with an answer that you do not have?"