Chapter 63 - A Place Where I Feel Safe

If Shego was shocked, she hid it well, Kim thought.

She continued looking between the women and wondered how Shego had dated the stuck-up woman at their table for six years.

Morgan smiled smugly. "It's Doctor Collins now."

"Congrats," Shego deadpanned.

"Now, now, Shego, no need for theatrics." Morgan turned to look at Kim and said in a nauseatingly sweet voice, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

Shego's eyes narrowed, surprising Kim. "I don't think it's worth my time or effort to do so for you."

Morgan laughed, smiled at Kim, and then offered her hand. "Doctor Morgan Collins."

Under Shego's watchful eye, Kim shook Morgan's hand with a firm grip. "Kim Possible."

Shego noticed that Morgan remained impassive during the exchange. Perhaps she was unfamiliar with Middleton drama? It was likely since she had finished medical school in Go City and apparently travelled abroad after that.

"Pleasure. Well then, it was nice running into you again, Shego. I'll see you around." Morgan winked and then left the couple to their dinner.

Kim waited until Morgan sat back down at her table before speaking. "Are you-"

"-ok?" finished Shego. She cast a sidelong glance in Morgan's direction and chuckled. "I'm fine."

Kim nodded in acknowledgement, unsure how to dissipate any of the tension - or was it anger? - that Shego felt after her encounter with Morgan. The redhead looked in Morgan's direction and noticed a blonde-haired woman with the brunette. She focused her attention back to Shego and noticed that her girlfriend was looking that way too. Instead of Kim's curious eyes, Shego's were narrowed and it seemed like her jaw was clenched.

Miguel returned with their dinners shortly after and they ate in silence, only murmuring in surprise as they discovered their meals were more delicious than they imagined.

When it was time for dessert, Kim felt the need to break the silence. Shego was no longer looking their way, but Kim knew that the ordeal unsettled Shego. She had never seen the older woman tense up like that, but wasn't too sure whether it was appropriate for her to speak about it.

Kim used her fork to break a small piece of cheesecake. "Try this." She leaned in close and offered the piece to Shego.

The older woman ate it off the fork and nodded in appreciation. In return, she scooped up a fair amount of her (sundae) for Kim.

"Delicious."

"Mm, it is." Kim cleared her throat. "Do you want to go for a walk after...?"

"...to talk?"

The redhead shook her head. She wouldn't pry. "Just for some fresh air."

"All right. It's probably going to be cold though. We'd better get our coats after dinner."

"Sure."

"Fancy seeing you here."

"It's a bathroom, Morgan. Everyone comes and goes through here," replied Shego dryly.

"You know, you should stop being so hostile towards me. Let bygones be bygones."

Shego narrowed her eyes. She wasn't expecting to be harassed by Morgan in the bathroom of all places, but it couldn't be helped. She had to walk by Morgan's table to the bathroom, so it was evident that the brunette would see her going by. What she dreaded was what Kim might be thinking of Morgan following her into the bathroom.

"Was I being hostile?"

"One can interpret your attitude towards me as being hostile, yes."

"I don't forgive or forget so easily."

Morgan smirked as she pulled out lipstick from her clutch. "You know that I wouldn't be where I am today without you." She applied a light layer first and then smacked her lips. "I have you to thank for that."

Shego wasn't too sure whether her ex-girlfriend was being honest or just trying to guilt her into doing Morgan's bidding, so she answered carefully. "That may be true, but I most certainly am not thankful for where you are today."

Morgan laughed. "Are you this hostile to your current girlfriend? She's cute, by the way."

Shego rolled her eyes in response but said nothing. She would not give into Morgan's satisfaction and knowledge that Kim was her girlfriend. She preferred that the redhead would not be involved with whatever Morgan was scheming.

"What do you want, Morgan?"

The brunette laughed. "Let's talk later in the evening. I'll be at the bar at around eleven." She winked at Shego after making sure her makeup and lipstick were fine before leaving the bathroom.

They walked in silence through the streets of Paris. Kim pulled up her coat collar as a cold breeze blew past them.

"Here." Shego took off her scarf and put it onto the redhead. "Don't want you to catch a cold."

"Thanks." Kim let Shego wrap the scarf around her neck. "Are you sure you'll be fine?"

The older woman nodded.

"Ok." Kim reached for Shego's hand as they resumed walking. "I didn't realise it'd be this cold..."

Shego nodded. "Good thing I brought the scarf."

Kim squeezed Shego's hand in response.

Shego stopped walking and sighed. "Sorry, I have a lot of things on my mind right now."

"I know."

"I'm sorry."

"What for?"

Shego paused and fiddled with her coat. A couple holding hands walked by them as Shego furrowed her brow in thought. "I figured that since it's been so long that I wouldn't really be affected by Morgan's presence, but I'm not."

"I think," Kim said thoughtfully, "we both might not feel that way for a long while... I mean, we've both had pretty nasty break-ups with our exes and that's normal. We just have to get through it in our own ways."

"Yes, but I don't want it to affect us." Shego made a gesture between her and Kim. "It just bothers me that I'm so bothered by it."

Kim took Shego's hands in hers. "I'm bothered whenever Eric is mentioned, so you're not alone there. You don't have to be alone in this."

"I don't want to drag you into whatever mess I was involved in the past."

"You don't think I feel the same?" Kim laughed bitterly. "Wherever we go, I'm afraid whatever you hear about me will affect how you see-"

"-I told you before that I won't believe what they say."

"I know. It's an irrational fear that we both share, but I know we'll be all right since we..." Kim faltered. She wasn't sure whether this was the time and place for this sort of talk.

Shego picked up on Kim's indecision and hovered her face close to Kim's. "Love each other," she finished in a whisper. Kim nodded before Shego kissed her on the mouth.

Shego placed her forehead on Kim's and looked the redhead in the eye. "I know this is an inappropriate moment to bring it up, but Morgan asked me to meet her at the hotel bar to have a 'talk.'"

Kim closed her eyes for a moment and opened them again. "Are you going to go meet her?"

"I... Don't know." Shego stared at Kim's olive eyes and answered truthfully. "There's a part of me that wants to so I can verbally berate her, but that would be beneath me."

"Not really. She was the one who wronged you..." answered Kim.

"And then there's a part of me that doesn't want to because the past is the past and I shouldn't dwell on it."

Kim wrapped her arms around Shego's neck and gently kissed her girlfriend. "You do what you think feels right."

Kim had tossed the ball back into Shego's turf since she knew she didn't want to meddle in old affairs that she might not understand. That being said, however, she didn't want Shego to be the only one to bear whatever burden or pain that her girlfriend was going through.

Shego seemed to understand the subtlety in Kim's answer and nodded. "All right. I'll figure out what to do when we get back to the hotel." She took Kim by the hand. "Come on, we have a city to explore."

"I thought you wouldn't come." Morgan swirled her martini in one hand and ate the olive in the other.

Shego watched her ex devour the olive and the finish off the drink in one swig.

"Slow down there," commented Shego.

"I'm surprised you even bothered to care," said Morgan. She gave Shego a rather apologetic look. "After all, it is me you are talking to."

Shego shrugged as she sat beside Morgan at the bar. "I'll have a rum and Coke," she said to the barkeep.

"So you and Kim are an item?"

Shego shrugged again.

"Is that all you're going to do? Shrug at me because you're still mad?"

"You're the one who wanted to talk," said Shego coolly.

Morgan turned in her seat to give Shego a long hard look.

"You've changed."

"How so?"

"You used to bend over backwards for me and now you're just acting like you never cared."

"Why dwell on things that happened in the past?"

"Why, indeed," murmured Morgan as she signalled the barkeep for another martini. "I want to ask you something, but you need to answer truthfully."

"All right."

"When did you stop loving me?"

Shego was taken aback by the question. Of all things she expected Morgan to ask (a majority involved questions about Kim), she didn't expect this. She gave it a moment's thought before speaking.

"Probably the same week you upped and left."

"You were that angry, huh," said Morgan as she nodded at the barkeep when he placed a fresh martini in front of her. "No, I don't believe that. It must've been when you met Kim."

Shego sipped on her drink, deciding it was better to not acknowledge or deny Morgan's claim.

"I think," Morgan swished the martini around, "That it took you so long because you honestly loved me."

Again, Shego remained silent.

Don't fall into her tricks and sweet talk again, Shego thought. She's just trying to guilt you into doing her bidding - whatever it may be.

Morgan took another sip of her martini. "And all I needed to do to shatter whatever paradise we had by giving into something simple like lust."

Shego laughed bitterly. "What are you trying to do by telling me all these things? I think it's too late for repentance. The damage has been done and I don't see why all of this warrants a conversation."

Morgan tilted her head to the side and chuckled. "You're missing my point."

"All you're doing is just telling me things I already know."

"So you did love me back then... If what I am saying are things you already know."

Shego blushed. Morgan always had a way with words, she thought. She could go from one topic to another seamlessly. Maybe that's why I was so oblivious to the cheating. She talked her way out of me finding out.

"It's all right, Shego. I'll be frank. I loved you at a point in our relationship."

"But that point must've been really early on for you. How many women did you sleep with during your late night 'study' sessions in medical school'?"

Morgan opened her mouth to answer but Shego cut her off.

"I don't want to know. I don't think I ever want to know." Shego downed the rest of her drink. "You failed to realise that your selfish actions made me very miserable and angry for a very long time. Part of me was thinking we had it good but I was just so oblivious to what you did that even my parents had no idea whether I'd be able to bounce back. I hope you're happy now, but you know what? I'm happier now without you than I've ever been."

With that, Shego left several Euros for the barkeep and simply said, "Good night, Morgan" and walked away.

"Hey."

Kim put down her magazine and looked up at the clicking sound of the door closing. She had changed out of her dress after Shego left to talk with Morgan and was reading a magazine to settle her nerves. While she trusted Shego with all her heart, she was still nervous about the outcome of their meeting.

"How'd it go?"

"I... feel like crap, to be honest."

"Oh." The redhead patted on the couch and Shego sat.

"I mean, I said what I wanted to say but I sort of feel horrible after."

"Maybe you just need to let it sink in that you said what you wanted to say, no matter how overdue it may be."

"I guess."

"Come." Kim took Shego by the hands and led her to the bathroom. The lights were turned off but the glow of candles surrounding the jacuzzi illuminated the entire bathroom.

"Wow. What's this for?" Shego noted the wine glasses and a bottle of wine next to the tub.

"I figured you could do with some relaxing, so I asked the restaurant to send up the rest of the bottle."

"You didn't have to-"

"-it's never easy trying to forget past pains, much harder when we face them in the present."

Shego smiled. "You're very thoughtful, you know that?"

"I try when I can."

"Come on, let's just get naked and-"

"-Shego."

"Ok, ok, let's get ready for a bath..." Shego waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"Shego." Kim rolled her eyes.

The older woman laughed. "Wine and a hot tub with my favourite woman in the world? Sounds like fun!"

Kim simply shook her head in amusement as Shego more or less lifted her into the tub (clothes and all).

Author's Notes: The shitstorm has passed...?

Chapter title is from "In Your Arms" by Kina Grannis.