Author's Note: I'm back! I'd like to thank southerngirl1, phnxgrl, MaineCastle, and TORONTOSUN for their reviews. We are moving on to the next "episode" of this "season". This chapter is in Alex's POV. Enjoy!

Chapter 21

Alex was concerned. Sloan had left the safe house to buy groceries almost an hour ago but had yet to return. She knew she was being paranoid, but The Gentleman had made it very clear that he was a ruthless man. The calm with which he had executed Viper almost a year ago had been unnerving to say the least. Finally, the door open and Sloan's cheerful whistle could be heard. Thank goodness. Alex let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and stopped pacing the closet of a bedroom she was in. She glanced at the clock on her phone and saw that he'd been gone one hour on the nose.

She left the bedroom and made her way to the kitchen. "Did you get lost?"

"Nope, I just had to take an alternative route back. There was a fender bender on the corner of 9th and 59th. A few cops were there. I figured it would ruin my day to get pinched while buying groceries, so I had to reroute just in case they might recognize me. Why?" His voice took on a teasing lilt. "Did you miss me?"

"A little." She smiled as she helped him unpack the groceries. "Anything else exciting happen?"

Sloan stopped pulling things out of the bag. "Alex, what's going on? You've been really tense these last few days. Does it have something to do with your employer?"

Alex finished putting away the milk and shut the fridge. She hated this. The longer they had worked and lived together, the better they had become at working together. And the better he was at reading her. Normally, he just brushed it aside, knowing that she preferred to shoulder most of the burden herself. But it obviously was becoming too much for him to bear the lack of information from her end. She knew he had seen how much stress she'd been under lately. And she knew that he was tired of letting her deal with it alone. I have to tell him.

He was still waiting for a response. "Hello? Alex?"

"You have to leave."

That was not the response Sloan had been expecting. "What?"

"You have to leave."

He crossed his arms. "Why?"

Finally, she turned around to face him. "Because it's not safe for you here. Not anymore."

"Because of the contract The Gentleman gave you? Who is it? And don't lie to me this time."

Alex hesitated, almost afraid to tell him the truth. "Kate. He gave me a month to kill Kate, and now that month is almost up."

He leaned against the kitchen counter. "It doesn't matter if you don't kill her. We don't need the money. We have plenty to live on without completing that contract."

Alex fell silent. He wasn't getting it. She wasn't trying to send him away because of the money. It was never about the money. Sloan was watching her closely. He could tell that there was something she wanted to say, but the words just wouldn't come. She looked like she was close to tears, but he knew that those tears would never fall because that was the way she had been raised. Alex did not cry easily, which meant that whatever she needed to say, it was probably going to be the hardest thing she had ever needed to say in her life.

He tried again. "Alex, what is going on? I've never seen you like this and it is kind of starting to scare me."

Alex lost her cool and raised her voice. "I'm trying to scare you because your life is in danger! Don't you get it? I'm not getting paid to kill Kate. If I don't kill her, I'll lose you. If I don't kill her, he'll kill you!" It was easier to speak now that she was using her anger at the situation to convey the message.

He was taken aback. "What do you mean?"

Alex sighed and it looked like she deflated a little. "The Gentleman wants Kate dead, but he knows that no amount of money could possibly entice me to kill her. So he used the only thing that might make me do it: you. He's using you as the incentive."

"How much time is left?"

"A week."

"And you're not going to kill her."

"I can't bring myself to kill someone so good. You know me. How could I bring myself to do something that horrible?"

Sloan pulled Alex into his arms. "You couldn't. I don't blame you. You've been put in a tight spot. But love, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

Alex couldn't bring herself to look Sloan in the eye. "I don't know. I guess I'd hoped I could find a way out of it. A way to save the both of you. But I'm beginning to realize that isn't possible."

"Hey." He tilted her head back until he could look at her eyes. "I love you. I've promised myself to you and you to me. We've been talking about someday finding a place to live where we don't have to worry about any of this. Let's just get out of here now."

"We can't." Alex could barely speak. The picture he was painting for the both of them was wonderful, and she couldn't be a part of it. Not yet.

"Why not? We'll leave, get married in a small town in Mexico, or wherever we end up, and just start over. We won't have to kill anyone anymore."

Anger was taking over again. "Sloan! We can't. I can't. If we leave now, Kate will still be in danger. The Gentleman will just hire someone else to kill her. I can't leave because she won't be safe. I've got to stay. I need to protect her. And in order to do that, you need to leave New York. I can't protect her and worry about protecting you at the same time."

Sloan took a step back and shook his head. "I don't understand. I know you see in her the life you could have had, but why does that mean that you can't have your fiancé near you? Why do I have to leave? I could help you!"

Alex's lip started to tremble. "I love you. More than I think you realize. I know I've always seemed so strong, but that is only because I never let my emotions out. I keep everything inside and ignore my own feelings. That's why it took me so long to realize I loved you too. I was afraid of admitting my feelings to myself because I knew that as soon as I got close to someone, that's when they'd leave. And now that fear is coming true."

"I'm not leaving you."

"If you don't, you'll die."

"I'm not leaving you!"

"Sloan, I was terrified today. I thought you might not come back. That The Gentleman would kidnap you and hold you hostage until the end of the month, just like he did with Viper's son. And then he'd kill you because I didn't kill Kate. I have never been so relieved to hear your whistle come through that door. I can't take living with that kind of fear. Until I know you're safe, somewhere The Gentleman can't find you, I'll be living with that fear. Every moment I spend away from you would be filled with that fear."

"But we're in our safe house; one of many. He can't find us here."

Alex shook her head. "He's too connected. I don't think it would take too much for him to find us here or at a different location. Even if we were to go to a different safe house every night, he'd find us."

Sloan walked over to his computer chair and slumped down in it. This was his sanctuary, his comfort zone. Give him a cave that had several computer screens and a couple high efficiency servers, he'd be a happy man. What Alex was telling him was shattering the feeling of security he always had here. The Gentleman scared her; that was for certain. And he'd known Alex long enough to know that most other killers didn't scare her. She was always capable of using her brain to achieve the upper hand. Looking at her now though, he could tell that she was out of options.

"I'm sorry." Her whisper fractured another piece of his heart. She really was terrified for his safety. And he could tell that she was hurting about this just as much as he was.

"I know. I just wish you had told me sooner."

Alex approached him slowly. "I should have. Then you would have had more time to get away. You could be far away from here by now."

"Did you not trust me?"

"No. No, that's not it at all." She took a seat near him, set her elbows on her knees, and looked down at her hands. "It wasn't a lack of trust. I was being selfish. I didn't want you to leave yet. And now it may be too late."

"What do you mean?"

"I think we're being watched. Every time I've left the house, I've felt like someone has been watching me. But I never see anyone. The Gentleman is just as good as you are when it comes to computers. It wouldn't surprise me if he's using the police department's surveillance cameras to keep tabs on the both of us."

Sloan sighed. "Okay. I'll leave. What do you want me to do?"

"Make it look like you're simply moving from one safe house to another one. Take only what you can carry. I'll do the same. We'll get to a black zone and separate. Hopefully, he won't realize you're gone until it's too late."

"No. It'll be better, easier, if I just leave." Sloan stood. "I should pack." He walked past her and closed the door to his room.

Alex stayed where she was. Her heart was breaking and it was taking everything in her not to fall apart. What am I doing? How have I gotten like this? She was used to killing people for a living, but here she was risking the life of her fiancé while trying to protect a cop who was trying to arrest her. Conventional wisdom said that you protect the people closest to you first, but she wasn't. Kate Beckett was an extraordinary woman, there was no questioning that, but a different question still remained. Why am I so determined to protect the cop who shot me twice and is still trying to bring me in?

A part of Alex knew. It was apparent in Richard Castle too. Kate was an amazing influence for good. Once she'd made her presence and influence known, the people around her couldn't help but be their best. Alex knew Castle's reputation and had done her research on the rest of the team. Before Castle had started working with the Twelfth, he'd been well known as a playboy and general goof-off. Now he was a responsible man who took care of those around him. Esposito had been a rule breaker and a soldier; the all-around tough guy. Now he was more relaxed, though still fiercely protective of his friends. Ryan was the awkward one of the group. But after having worked with Kate for so many years, he was much better at empathizing with the victims. Kate's strength in the midst of tragedy brought out the best in those around her.

And Alex knew that she was no exception. When she'd first been pulled in as Jessica Gardner, she'd resorted to the years of training Rathborne had given her and played her part. Then came the moment when she'd realized that this was no ordinary cop. Kate had revealed that they knew Jessica wasn't her real name. The thrill of the chase was sparked and Alex decided right then that she would need to gain this cop's trust to remain in the loop. Alex had been delighted by the idea of having a worthy opponent, the same cop who had managed to catch and kill her mentor, chase her. But the longer she'd stayed in contact with Kate, the harder it had become to lie to her. Not because the lie was becoming so hard to maintain, but because she could feel herself changing.

She felt a sense of having a kindred spirit. Kate had suffered through the same tragedy Alex had. The difference? Kate was nineteen when her mother had been killed and she still had a father who loved her despite his own difficulty in dealing with that loss. Alex had been eleven and had no one else to turn to when her father had been killed. If she had remained in foster care, there were a million possibilities regarding how she could have turned out. Maybe she would have been like Kate. But she never got to see that outcome. The man who killed her father had adopted her and started to train her as his replacement. That one decision made by someone else had defined Alex for years until she met the one other person who truly shared the pain she felt. And that had made all the difference. Alex could no longer think like the cold blooded killer she had been before. That chapter in her life had officially closed.

Sloan walked up behind her and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I'm packed."

Alex registered the cold, detached quality to his voice as she stood. "Good. You should put on a coat, it's still cold out there and you might need it when you get wherever you're going."

Sloan dropped his bag and pulled Alex into his arms, crushing his lips to hers. At first, she stayed stiff, still trying to suppress her emotions. But she just couldn't. This might be the last kiss they ever shared and she wasn't about to let Sloan's last memory of her be cold and detached. And with that thought, she melted into his embrace. The kiss deepened, tongues battling for dominance as passion overtook them. She tangled one of her hands in his hair and the other held onto his shoulder as he crushed her body to his. This isn't fair.

Eventually they parted to catch their breath. "You have to go."

Sloan chuckled as his arms loosened their hold on her. "You've been holding out on me."

Tears threatened to escape her eyes. "I was only trying to protect myself."

He took her chin into his hands again. "It's okay to cry you know. Normal people do all the time."

"I'm not normal." She pulled herself out of his arms. "Go."

He picked up his bag and handed her a cell phone. "If you need it, the password is 'furtive'. I'll call you tomorrow. Just to let you know I'm safe and where I am. That way, when you figure out how to get through all this, you'll know where to meet me."

Alex nodded. "Be safe."

He walked out the door and Alex sank to the floor, finally letting her emotions out. Silently, tears ran down her cheeks as her body racked with sobs. Eventually she made her way to a window and looked down at the street in time to watch Sloan get into a cab and pull away from the building. She wished she could call him back, to tell him once more that she loved him, but if she did, she knew she could never let him leave. This is for the best. Now he has a chance to live. Alex watched the cab until she lost it in the mass of cars before she turned from the window and went back into her room. Sorrow claimed her once more and she cried herself to sleep for the first time in years.

A/N: As you might have noticed from this chapter, this "episode" will be very Alex centered. As always, reviews would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!