A/N: If you have a certain character you want to see next or an idea for Jackie to use, leave it in a review. Oh, I wanted to tell you guys something really freaky. I dreamt I got a review from someone and the shocking thing is I remembered what it said. It was actually some good advice.
Ren Rika: Thank you for the thousand zeni, hopefully I can pay him off before the time limit. When I can, I'll buy you a Bubbles plushy!
glittergirl73: Aww, you guys are the best. I might actually be able to pay him off. I'll have Jackie tell him during this very story. Glitter's character only gets her name from you; I completely made up her personality.
Disclaimer: If only I owned DBZ….then Akira would be the one paying ME a million zeni! But it doesn't matter, I still get to play with his characters while he doesn't even know!*smirks*
THE REAL DBZ: VEGETA
"Why would our school have a spirit week anyway? We have no spirit!" Jackie said into her iPhone, sitting on the desk in deep concentration.
Her single black leather glove looked wrinkled, as if she were nervous about today's show. But that shouldn't be possible. She had stood up to Piccolo and lived to tell the tale. What could have made THE Jackie Tanner nervous? It should have been the other way around, with the next interviewee being the one filled with nerves. Sadly, no one in that building (besides the next victim) knew how to sense ki. That mystery would have to be solved by itself. Everyone else would have to learn to be patient.
That was rather hard to do in Hollywood.
"And our school colors! What is it, Christmas?" Jackie complained. "Come on! Ugly Sweater day! I might as well stay-"
"CAN'T WE GET THIS BLASTED THING OVER WITH?" A voice yelled from behind the entrance door, pounding on it hard enough that all of the dust came down from the ceiling.
"Talk to you later, Megan," Jackie said before shutting off her phone and slipping it quietly away in her pocket.
Jackie started her intro. "Welcome back to-"
"I SAID CAN WE GET THIS BLASTED THING OVER WITH!" the voice yelled again, pounding even harder on the door. A small dent appeared in it.
Fearing whoever was behind that door, Jackie took a calming breath and closed her eyes. She was scared witless, but she knew not to show it. If she wanted the viewers to enjoy watching her, she would have to make them know that she was nobody's fool. Or at least, that's what she had learned from watching far too many episodes of Shark Tank.
Jackie Tanner tried again, plastering a smile on her face. "Welcome-"
"I'M STILL WAITING!" the voice shouted.
Jackie then noticed the small, yet mostly insignificant crack in the door. She would have to announce the show and her next victim fast, or she would have to buy a new one. Her contract said that she wasn't responsible for any damages done during the show. It said nothing about prior to the show.
"WELCOME BACK TO THE REAL DBZ," Jackie shouted at the top of her lungs. "MY NAME IS JACKIE TANNER AND I'M STILL YOUR HOST! TODAY, WE HAVE A REALLY INTERESTING AND FRIGHTENING GUY!"
Whoever was on the other side of that door kicked it open, somehow leaving it sizzling against the wall. Clad in white armor and blue spandex, there was only one possibility of who this could be.
It was Vegeta.
Vegeta strutted inside like he owned the place and took a seat on the victim chair. When the ropes came out to restrain him, he snapped his fingers and they lay limp, dangling from the sides of the chair. Jackie couldn't help it: her mouth dropped so low it almost hit the floor. Vegeta then motioned for her to come over as if he was in charge, not her.
Jackie was prepared to give Vegeta a verbal lashing but was stopped by her phone ringing. How odd. She could of sworn she turned it off after talking to Megan. Usually, she would have let it ring but some unknown force was telling her to answer it. Knowing that Dende had fallen asleep in the greenroom, Jackie knew this force must have been Mr. Popo.
Jackie reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone. She had a call from her friend Glitter. Her name wasn't really Glitter but it seemed that absolutely everything she wore had some glitter on it. Besides, who wants to be called Marge? Even the teachers called her Glitter and she was registered for school under Glitter Sabrowski. She might even be married as Glitter one day….
The same unknown force was prompting her to put it on speaker phone. Normally, she would have never done that with Vegeta in the room. But this was a very persuasive force. It must of payed attention in Kami School. Jackie decided that just this once, she would let everyone hear the call.
"Hi Glitter! You're on speaker phone," Jackie said, setting the phone down on a stool that appeared just for Jackie's use.
"Hey JT! Is Vegeta there?" Glitter asked.
"JT? What kind of name is that?" Vegeta asked from his 'throne'.
"Oh, he doesn't know what JT is? JT is her initials, silly wily!" Glitter laughed. "It's kind of funny because there is this guy named Jason Trent and his initials are JT and JT likes-"
"GLITTER!" Jackie complained.
"So you found a potential mate?" Vegeta asked Jackie.
If only the ropes would have restrained Vegeta, Jackie then would have been using every dirty trick in the book One Thousand and One dirty tricks. Alas, the ropes remained limp on the floor, refusing to obey her wishes. She'd have to complain to Capsule Corp. and order some new ones, ones that not even Vegeta could control. Saiyan proof just didn't work when dealing with the Prince.
"NO!" Jackie shouted, before returning her attention to Glitter. "Can we get back to the reason you called, Glitter?"
"You need to calm down, JT, you're going to get stress lines," Glitter reasoned. "I actually didn't call for you."
"Then why did you call?" Jackie asked, confused with her friend's behavior.
"I called to talk to Vegeta," Glitter broke into a trademarked fit of giggles. "I wanted to tell him I had fun last night!"
Jackie was shocked. Wouldn't you be if your friend basically said she….she….with Vegeta. She would never have pegged Vegeta as a cheater. Sure, he was a jerk, but not a cheater. Poor Bulma, Jackie thought with pity, real princes must only be fictional.
"But….but….You were in love with Bulma at first sight!" Jackie protested, "How could you do this to her?"
"What are you talking about, girl?" Vegeta asked, "Did someone force you to watch GT? Let me guess, you enjoyed it! Didn't you?"
"You cheated on Bulma! Glitter just said so on national TV!" Jackie stuttered. "And this is a GT free zone!"
"JT, you always jump to conclusions! Vegeta just helped me with my hair gel last night," Glitter explained.
Jackie was speechless. She didn't know which was more shocking; Vegeta cheating on Bulma or helping Glitter with her hair gel. But she knew which one she preferred to have had happened. Luckily, it just so happened to be the one that actually did occur. Not wanting to talk to Glitter any longer, she shut off the phone and threw it as far from the set as she could. Glitter would understand, she hoped.
"Can we do this 'interview' now? I have training to do!" Vegeta snapped, slightly miffed that his co-torturer of Jackie had been hanged up on.
"Right," Jackie said uncomfortably. "When did you get the idea to write the popular little kid's book, The Three little piggies and the big bad woof?"
"I made a bet with Scarface that I could do anything he could do better," Vegeta said like it didn't matter.
"WHY DON'T YOU CARE? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Jackie screeched, upset that Vegeta was taking this so calmly.
No one could take her questions without being a little shaken up. Then there's Vegeta who just admits it without even a second thought; he must not be human….Wait…..he wasn't human…..Jackie would just have to use the most powerful fact in the box, the one that made people in need of a shrink.
"It must have been hard being the only Barney fan, growing up on Frieza's spaceship," Jackie baited, hoping for a reaction from the proud Saiyan prince.
It worked like a charm. His face turned red from either anger or embarrassment; hopefully the viewers thought it was the later one. That one would make the ratings sky rocket!
"I'm right, aren't I?" Jackie asked. "Just admit it. You do know that your face is turning red?"
"I AM NOT A BARNEY FAN! I DESPISE THAT IDIOTIC EXCUSE FOR A DINOSAUR!" Vegeta yelled, breaking the armrests off in the process.
She'd ask for a Vegeta proof chair when she bought the new rope. Should she buy a dark red one or a black one? Jackie decided that she would have to ask the interior decorators their opinions. Or she could get neon blue, her favorite color. Yeah, that's what she would do. It was a sound decision.
"So you're a Dinosaur expert?" Jackie asked, acting more like her usually self.
"I AM NOT!" Vegeta yelled, "ONLY A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A SAIYAN WOULD BE!"
"So you're pathetic?" Jackie questioned, loving every second of it.
"NO!" Vegeta yelled, "I AM NOT!"
"Pathetic."
"NOT!"