A/N: If you have a character or idea you want Jackie to use, leave it in a review
Ren Rika/Danielle/Basil/Paprika: All right, I'll let Yamcha go on the show. In fact *smirks* I have a feeling he won't be the only person added to the show…..
Jokermask18: I would love to do her this chapter, but I already agreed to let Yamcha go on. I promise she is next in the queue.
Arien Desol: I like the way you think! They have just been added to Jackie's agenda!
glittergirl73: Be careful, if my ego get's too big it could rival Vegeta's! I might write that into a one shot…..hmm….
DFKJR: She has been added to the list. I agree with you, but I have to be fair *pouts* and go in order of the requests.
Disclaimer: I have 4,000 zeni! WOO HOO! I might be able to avoid going to jail!
THE REAL DBZ: YAMCHA
Jackie was walking down the long hallway that led to the studio. It wouldn't have been as creepy if she didn't need to cut the electricity so the show would have more funds. Some of the people she interviewed were pretty expensive, especially today's victim. You would think that he'd not care that much about things like mountain spring water and pure gold tuxedos, like he said in Off the Bat magazine. Never trust what someone says in a magazine.
Never.
The hallway was ideal for kidnappers, thieves, fan girls, and other kinds of criminals to conduct their activities without being noticed. It was a good thing they hadn't had Gohan or Mirai Trunks on the show yet. There would have been tons of fan girl's hiding in this hallway, trying to get some Demi-Saiyan booty. And then there would be fan girls who would kidnap Jackie, impersonate her, and leave her locked in a closet.
"So what do I have to do again?" A young, childish voice asked.
"Stay quiet!" An older voice said. It sounded like a high schooler to Jackie, but she wasn't exactly sure.
Jackie was no fool; she knew that someone was following her. But she was confident that she could beat them without even trying. Vegeta had given her a private lesson yesterday after she inflated his ego some. Most of it was true, since he was her favorite guest. She had greatly improved her fighting skills, yet maybe that's not the only thing that improved….
Her ego had swelled even more.
"Oops," the first voice said. "I'm sorry Danielle."
"Whatever. Let's get this over with so we can talk to Scarface," Danielle replied, sounding vexed at the other person.
Suddenly, three girls jumped in front of Jackie. She only had time to memorize their faces: short blonde with braces, tall frizzy haired brunette, and a freckly redhead. Before she could even start asking the blonde about where she got her braces, the redhead took out a large black sack and slid it over her head.
"You'll never get away with this! I'm Jackie Tanner for crying out loud!" Jackie said as she kicked the inside of the bag.
"Can it, girly," Danielle said. "We don't need any lip from you."
Jackie wasn't exactly happy to start with today. She had broken up with her boyfriend, Alejandro, a month ago. Then she sees him with that new girl Rebecca, acting like she never existed. Then, Mr. F had given her an A on her science test; not an A+ like usual. Finally, some old guy keeps stalking her and calling her…inappropriate things…..
Jackie shuddered inside of the bag. Recalling those names made her want to hurl…again.
"Paprika, give her the rules," Danielle commanded, causing whoever was holding the bag to halt. They must have been right outside of the studio.
"You do exactly what we say, and you won't get hurt," a new voice which Jackie guessed was Paprika said. "If you don't…..You figure it out,"
"I don't wanna hurt her!" the childish voice from before said.
"Paprika! Tell your sister to be quiet!" Danielle ordered, her voice stern like a commanders.
"Basil," Paprika said. "Zip it!"
Jackie heard the doors creak open as her captors walked inside. She heard someone gasp, which she thought indicated that her victim was already there. If only he wasn't so weak, he might have been able to help her! She'd have to get on his case about training again next time she could….
"Now, I want you to announce the show," Paprika instructed her. "We're going to let you out of the bag,"
The bag opened up and Jackie caught saw the ever so familiar desk waiting for her. Her homework, hastily hidden inside one of the draws with the corner peeking out just enough to let her know it was for history class. Her agenda for who goes next on the show was taped onto the top right hand corner.
She was never so glad to see that desk, that beautiful, beautiful desk. Jackie picked herself up and sat down on top of it, getting ready to do her task. Looking around the studio, Jackie saw that only the crew was there. Her victim must have still been outside the door, waiting for his queue.
"Welcome back to The Real DBZ," she said nervously, "I'm your host, Jackie Tanner. Today we have someone you should all know and a small percentage of you love. Why don't you come on out, Mr. Mystery Man?"
The door opened and a heavenly choir began to play. Jackie snorted in disgust, as that choir had come out of her hair dye budget. The blonde one, who she deduced to be Basil, looked at the scene in awe. Jackie might have too, if she was in Basil's situation. Yamcha walked out of the door, strutting in his pure gold tuxedo like he was Kami's gift to women.
You thought she was kidding about that tuxedo? Nope.
Yamcha then lowered himself into the Victim chair where the rope, which was painted gold, snugly wrapped around him. A floating bottle of wine flew over to him and began to empty its contents into his mouth. Natasha, their makeup designer, walked over and began to give him a relaxing back massage.
Kami, Jackie wanted to smack that grin off of his face. But she restrained herself, not wanting to ruin the interview anymore if she could help it.
"So Yamcha, what have you been up too?" Jackie asked, feeling the three girls behind her.
Not noticing the other people in the room, Yamcha continued to relax. "Had yet another undefeated season down at the baseball diamond," Yamcha replied with a shrug, as if it really didn't matter.
"Meet any girls?" Danielle asked from behind.
"Not really," Yamcha said, mistaking Danielle's voice for Jackie's.
"You sure about that?" Paprika asked as they slowly walked towards him, "Because something tells me otherwise."
Yamcha finally looked up from his wine and saw the three girls slowly approaching him. He looked like a deer caught in the head lights as recognition flickered through his eyes. Almost immediately he began to struggle against his rope, but it only made it harder for him to escape. This rope was designed to get tighter the more you struggled, yet another Capsule Corp. product. Hopefully, this one would do what it was designed to on each victim.
"Isabelle…..Patricia…..Becca….," he stuttered. "What are you guys doing here?"
"My name isn't Becca!" Basil pouted. "It's Basil!"
"I would have hoped you would remember our names, eh Yamcha?" Danielle said, ignoring Basil's protest. "Wouldn't you agree, Paprika?"
"That would have saved us some time, Danielle," Paprika said smugly.
Yamcha's face went white at their tone of voice. Jackie was slowly writing down possible ideas for torture down on a notepad as she pondered why they wanted to talk to Yamcha. It's not like he was popular or anything; he was just a weakling that gets killed so the real fighters don't have to deal with him anymore.
"What do you want?" Yamcha mumbled, his face getting so white it was nearly transparent.
"You promised us money for what we did last night," Danielle explained, "We are here to collect."
"I didn't like doing it!" Basil cried, "It wasn't nice!"
"QUIET YOU!" Danielle yelled, "Now are we going to do this the easy way or the hard way?"
Yamcha nodded and jerked his head towards his pocket, "The money's in there. But my hands are tied," he said.
Paprika walked towards the star baseball player and ripped his wallet out of his pocket. She patted him on the head and tossed the money to Danielle, who caught it easily.
"Next time you need someone to help you hack into a computer, don't come looking for us!" Danielle said as she kicked the door down and exited the building.
"Yeah! Don't come looking!" Basil squealed, running after Danielle and Paprika.
Jackie grinned evilly at Yamcha. She was in charge once again. Just like it should have been in the first place: she loved it. Plus, the ideas she got from Danielle, Paprika, and Basil were so much better than the ones she had before. This was going to be the best episode yet!
"You ready for the real interview?" Jackie asked the still traumatized Yamcha.
"Yes…," He answered shakily. "Ask me anything….."
"When did you decide to take the role of Winnie the Pooh?" Jackie asked.
"Bulma said she loved animals," he muttered, too far out of it to realize what was happening.
Jackie nodded. She had expected him to be retaining a crush on Bulma, "When did you realize that Bulma was destined for someone else?"
"When I dreamt of her eating popcorn as she watched the Saiyans fight," Yamcha answered, "And acting all relived when Vegeta survived."
"It must have been a good thing because you didn't have to pretend to like her ugly hair style," Jackie chuckled. "It was almost as bad as Mr. Satan's afro back then!"
Yamcha started to laugh, "You should have seen her face when she found out I wear ladies underwear!"
Jackie snickered until she realized what Yamcha had just told her, what he had just willingly told her.
"You wear ladies underwear?!"