Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or any of its characters. I also do not own the song featured in this chapter. All rights go to the producers and the musicians.
Authors Note: Thank you to everyone for the 5,311 Hits! Here is the next chapter it took a little and it's a bit sad, but I still hope you like it!
Chapter twelve, Becky's perspective:
I ended up staying with Ziva the entire time Dad was in hospital. Gibbs always offered to take me in, but Ziva insisted that she was fine and loved looking after me. When Dad finally was allowed out of hospital, much to his relief, Ziva and I were getting along like two peas in a pod, but much to everyone's annoyance neither Dad nor Ziva told each other how they truly felt.
The time passed and I had many conversations on the phone with Mum, my English accent was becoming less obvious, which made it easier for me to fit in. Eventually it was the middle of October and Dad and Ziva kept on avoiding the subject of their feelings…
"Becky can I talk to you for a minute?" Dad says after hanging up the phone.
"Yeah, what's up?"
"Look sweetie there is no easy way to say this but…"
"It's about Mum isn't it?" I ask and Dad nods in response.
"None of the treatment has been working and the Doctors don't think she got that much longer left." Dad tells me and burning tears start to run down my cheeks.
"Baby, come here." Dad says and pulls me onto his lap and hugs me for what seems like hours. "She wants to say goodbye properly, so if you want I'll take some time off and fly with you to England." I nod into his chest, glad that he is not going to let me do this alone. Dad calls into work and gets the time off, and then books us a flight for the next day.
"I guess that we'd better start packing." I say and head to my room after my eyes can produce no more tears. Dad nods and heads towards his own room to pack some of his things.
That night I toss and turn in my bed, unable to get a wink of sleep knowing that my Mother was dying and I could do nothing to stop it.
After the tediously long flight we landed, and we were met by my aunt who was going to take us to the hospital…
"Mum?" I ask as I walk into her hospital room.
"Becky?" she answers in a weak voice.
"Yeah, it's me Mum." I say holding in tears; she looks so weak and helpless. Dad rubs my back trying to comfort me but it doesn't really work, I feel … there are no words to explain it, but inside I'm empty, and it hurts so much. A single tear falls from my eyes, and I know that I've lost the battle, so I let the other tears fall.
"I love you so much Baby girl." She whispers, and squeezes my hand for a moment and closes her eyes.
"Mum, MUM!" I yell, but she's gone. "Dad" I turn to him and he pulls me in, and hugs me so tight that I feel like he's never going to let me go. "She's gone." I whisper "Dad, she's gone." I say with my voice shaking, and tears form rivers as they flow down my cheeks.
"I'm so sorry." He whispers into my hair and pulls me closer. "She's in a better place now."
"Why did she have to go?" I ask.
"She was in pain, you know that, and she fought it all just to see you one last time." Dad says as nurse came in and covered my Mum with a white cloth and then gave us her condolences, but it really didn't matter to me, it wouldn't bring Mum back.
I stand there in Dads arms for hours in Mums hospital room after they take her away to the Morgue, trying to let everything sink in, my heart is broken I know that for sure, but I don't know what else is shattered. I want to run away from it all, to hide from these emotions, but my legs feel like they are stuck to the ground and I know that even if I wanted to they wouldn't let me go anywhere. Eventually we head to Aunty Jane's house, where we just sit in the living room and mourn over our loss.
A week after Mum's death is the funeral…
As I watch Mum's body being lowered into the ground, the tears consume me once again, as I think of all our happy memories and how there will never be any more. I feel my Dads hand wrap around mine and give it a slight squeeze. I glance up at him, and his eyes are glistening, but I know that he won't let them fall, 'cause DiNozzo's don't cry. But I don't care about that saying anymore; I just can't keep anything bottled up at the moment. Before the coffin disappears into the ground I place a Lilly, my Mums favourite flower, on it and whisper shakily "I will always love you Mum." The priest says words as the coffin continues to be lowered, but I don't hear them, well at least not properly.
After the service, we head to one of Mum's favourite places, the Rosetta Inn where the wake is being held… after I have been hugged and squeezed by everyone possible I go and talk to my aunt…
"Jane, I was wondering if I could sing for Mum?"
"Becky, darling that is a wonderful idea, your Mum loved your singing so much." She says and kisses my forehead, and so I make my way to the raised platform.
"Excuse me, I was wondering if I could have you attention?" I say into the microphone. When I feel everyone's gaze burning on me I continue, "My Mum was an amazing person as you all know, and I would like to sing her favourite song, as a tribute to her memory. The song is called 'I want to hold your hand' and was written by the Beatles." I tell them and nod towards a man named Philip as a signal to start playing, and I begin to sing…
"Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something
I think you´ll understand
When I say that something
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand
Oh, please, say to me
You´ll let me be your man
And please, say to me
You´ll let me hold your hand
I want to hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy inside
It´s such a feeling that my love
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide
Yeah you, got that something
I think you´ll understand
When I say that something
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand
And when I touch you I feel happy, inside
It´s such a feeling that my love
I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide
Yeah you, got that something
I think you´ll understand
When I feel that something
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand
I want to hold your hand."
Throughout the song tears fall from my eyes and sometimes my throat catches and I stumble on a few words, but once the song is finished I run over crying to Dad who tries to comfort me.
Some people like stories with songs in them, while others hate them. I will try not to use so many songs in the future, unless people ask for it of course, but I couldn't resist adding this song into this chapter, because it really is a beautiful song. Oh and by the way if you want to listen to it, listen to the Glee version as it is much closer to how Becky sings it.
Thank you for all the reviews I have received, they have all been fantastic and have managed to keep the writer's block away. Please keep on reviewing because it makes this writer very happy! =)