XVII

~ Summertime Sadness ~

Flash! Flash! Flash! The camera didn't seem to go easy on its flashes. They were repetitive, as if the model in front of them were lying on a long hospital bed being X Rayed before the operation, a surgery perhaps to save their life or to simply make them more beautiful. For Kurt, it was not as if he felt like he were in a hospital or even in a private clinic where New York, L.A. and Miami's wealthiest came to rid themselves of cancer or get a boob job, it was as if he were in a blank white abyss that stretched on for eternity with no one around but him, no one to come and keep him company, or to even save him should he die. For he was currently in a photographer's studio, modeling for something he couldn't actually remember. All he knew was that he'd arrived, and before he knew it, he was being immortalized in pictures.

The photographer operating the camera was one energetic ball of fire, handling his camera as if it were a kid's plaything or a dog's chew toy, the man was everywhere. The stereo was ringing loud throughout the room, the jazz like vibrations of Frank Sinatra swamping everyone with 50s club glamor and the crew in the form of stylists and other magazine representatives had in their hands champagne flutes full to the brim with overpriced champagne. It was as if Kurt were on a stage. Everyone was watching him, their faces anticipating his next pose, what he was doing well, what he was doing not so well, not a single twitch of his body was left unrecorded. His legs had been clad in skin-tight jeans, his feet were bare, his upper torso was bare and all he had to shield his body with was an opaque red scarf that revealed more than it hid.

Perhaps this was just what Kurt needed, to feel bare and to have little to no obstacles blocking his body from shining in front of the camera. It was in this state he could set free his emotions in high glosses pictures, though Kurt knew that the camera wasn't the person he should have been presenting them to, but Noah. At the thought of them man, Kurt winced. That Hampton Holiday had been so wonderful. In fact, for the majority of the time he'd been modeling during this session, he'd been revisiting various tit bits from the vacation. The Devil's Food Cake fight, watching Howl's Moving Castle, Noah confessing his love for him... except that was something he shouldn't have been thinking about. That was the one thing that Kurt had prayed not to think about since what it conjured was almost too much to bear.

After those life-changing words had been uttered to him beside a roaring fire and underneath a heart ready to engulf him with another thunderous beat, Kurt had merely gaped back at Noah. He hadn't known what to say. Well obviously, the thing to say was 'I love you too'. It's what you said whether you meant it or not, just as you said 'yes' to a proposal of marriage you were not ready for despite your love for the other person. Yet, Kurt had replied in no such way. He liked Noah, he respected him, and he hadn't wanted to spit in the face of such trust by lying to a man in such a vulnerable position. Kurt didn't... he didn't love Noah. His crush on the man was crazy hot, but it wasn't love. It just hadn't reached that beacon, one he knew would be stoked into a great fire some day, but that day hadn't been then. It just hadn't.

As a result, Kurt had replied with an unfathomable kiss that had lead on to instigate a series of fireside romps far too inappropriate to be thinking about in front of a camera. The jeans really were that skin-tight. However, even the images of him softy crying out for mercy from the touch of Noah's love raging body were tainted by what had followed afterwards. Once they had finished, Noah had non-verbally given Kurt another chance to say the words, as if he had been persuading the boy to do so in the wake of the sex, but still nothing was said. Nothing. Kurt just couldn't say them. As a result, Noah's once affectionate face fell into once of steel, unshifting, unmoving and ever so cold. Kurt knew there was disappointment, anger and possibly slight heartbreak swimming under the mask, glimmering in Noah's hazel eyes, but no, all masked.

They had packed their belongings and had driven back to New York in Noah's Bugatti Veryon in record speed. It had been an improvement to the BMW they'd original traveled in and it was one of the fastest cars ever made to date. However, whether that was just to show off the car or to get rid of Kurt as fast as possible before an awkward conversation could begin, the boy didn't know. All he had received had been the face, the grunt and the face again. Then, in no less than an hour after they had left the Hamptons, Kurt had been dumped on the sidewalk outside his apartment alongside all his things whilst Noah had sped off into the city, leaving behind a cloud of exhaust fumes and a roaring engine which had seemed to do all the needed talking for the man. No wonder men loved cars so much; their vehicles did all the talking for them.

Since then, Kurt hadn't received a single call, text, anything. However, he hadn't made to contact Noah either. The last time he'd seen the man had been that day and Noah had been in no state to talk in case a huge explosion of frustration for released onto Kurt. For the boy, he knew he'd done something, but also arguably, something good. Oh, but who cared? Everything with him and Noah sucked about now. It sucked, and he'd just have to wait until it blew over. He wasn't going to storm all the way to the man's penthouse and demand an explanation. In fact, he now wasn't going to concern himself with Noah at all. If the man was still seething, then it was only best to leave him be until he had calmed down. Let Noah talk anymore with that sports car and he'd been running Kurt over with it.

With a final flash of the camera, the photoshoot was over. Kurt didn't actually know it had all ended until Charlotta, his makeup artist, came up to him to let him know. It was rather embarrassing, but as he was offered to check out the pictures of the photoshoot on one of the Apple iMacs installed near the lights, he shuddered. God knows what he must have looked like, with his head in the clouds, dreamland not that far behind, completely unaware of what was going on. However, much to his surprise, attempting to rocket to cloud nine had just about done the trick. As he looked down at the screen, he noticed rows upon rows of him looking happy, vivacious and free to contemplative, nostalgic and melancholy. The camera had captured his thoughts of his Hampton stay in the lights, and it was, according to the photographer, beautiful.

Beautiful wasn't really the word he would go for, more like dazed, as if he, the photographer and Frank Sinatra had been the only ones in the studio with no one to hold them back, no orders, just complete surrendering to the moment, improvisation. If only Noah had been the one behind that camera, then I would have only posed for him. One click of that button, and flash! I'd be his forever, thought Kurt as after having changed back into his own clothes and signed out, he took the elevator down several set of floors to the large café slap dunk on the middle floor of the skyscraper. It had been a near rooftop photoshoot after all. Stepping out and taking a number of small steps into the high tech café, Kurt looked around. It was back to the black, suits and cigarettes, metal, polished wood, and high-class ladies, now. Bye bye, Hamptons.

He was due to meet up with Lola for lunch. He hadn't seen the girl since he'd been invited by Noah to the Balencia Ball, and although they had remained in loose contact through texts and the occasional call here and there when he wasn't shutting out the world, it just wasn't the same to seeing her. He needed to see all his friends again. That's what he needed. So ordering himself a Hot Chocolate, raspberry and white chocolate chip muffin from the cashier, Kurt turned around attempted to seek Lola out. Not a baby doll lookalike anywhere. No playground pigtails, no Barbie smile and no summer skirt to speak of amidst high-powered workers on their lunch break. He sighed. It was typical Lola to either be early, fashionably late or appear at some random event she hadn't been invited to.

Sitting himself down by the tall wall length window overlooking the city, Kurt made himself comfortable, rested his chin on his up propped hand lazily and looked the window, his reflection catching his attention. He wasn't wearing any makeup, not even a scrap of it except for ever so light contouring. The photographer had wanted to be 'creative', something Kurt had opposed since his skin was still tired from what had happened with Noah, but eventually with a little coaxing from Charlotta, he had relented. After all, they were going to edit them until he resembled someone entirely different anyway, and speaking of someone else, in came his lunch date, Lola, jogging her way over to him as various nerds in suits eyed her with both ridicule and lust. It was an odd combination but only Lola could pull such reactions from her Lolita style.

"Hey Kurt!" exclaimed Lola loudly, reaching his table and bringing him into a big hug whilst Kurt's eyes blew wide as he awkwardly patted the girl on the back. He didn't think she realized that they were in a corporate café where even bear claws and doughnuts were laughed at. He couldn't actually recall they had chosen this place. They could have gone elsewhere like Starbucks or Mangia, but no, this place had been the nearest one to the photoshoot and besides, Mangia would always be a place Noah and he would share together. No one else. "It's been too long, how have you been?"

"I'm well Lola. I would ask how you are but you seem to be as happy as Angel Cake right now," giggled Kurt nervously as eyes all around them pointed their way, looking at them in that snotty judgmental way that only office like them knew how to perfect right down to the very last sneer. It was very disconcerting but he ignored them as Lola took up the chair opposite and smiled happily. "Though Lola, do you mind keeping it down a little. People are looking and after having spent a whole morning having people looking at me, I'd rather not have any more attention than I already have.

"Why do you care?"

"Because they're people."

"But people you don't know and most likely won't ever see again."

"Yes, but still they're people with… eyes."

"Did something happen at the photoshoot? They didn't ask you to do nudes did they?" asked Lola worriedly as Kurt shook his head, a slight smile begging to escape but in the end couldn't. He had been the one to suggest going topless. The prop manager had brought along a range of different clothes and Kurt had been allowed to pick and choose from them all. The see through scarf had just called out to him and he had after Charlotta had encouraged his decision, he'd let creation happen with the lens. That lens. Oh how he wished it had been hazel eyes. "Then Kurt, what is it? What's wrong?"

"Noah Puckerman is in love with me," muttered Kurt as he lowered his face to stare deeply into the cocoa depths of his cooling hot chocolate. However, after not receiving a reply, he took note of his friend's unforeseen expression and sighed. "I don't know if Carlson told you this, since that guy really can't keep secrets, but I went back to Lima some time ago to see my dad. Whilst there, Noah came knocking and wanted to talk, we did, but instead of returning to New York as planned, he invited me over to his house in the Hamptons, and it was on the last night there that he said he... loved me."

"Wait a minute, why would he go all the way over to Ohio just to 'talk to you'? I mean you're just friends, right?" inquired Lola as she eyed Kurt carefully for any kind of confirmation. Sure, Carlson had blabbed that Kurt had returned home but there had been no mention of Puckerman anywhere. She desperately wanted to know about it all, yet all she received in response was a look that clinched it all. "Oh my God... you're having an affair? Kurt, how long has this been going on for? You only met the guy like, two months ago. I didn't even know Puckerman was into boys."

"Most people don't, but what I've said as effectively outed him."

"So he... I mean he goes-"

"Both ways yes, but that's not the point."

"Are you sure he didn't just say he loved spending time with you?"

"No, it was a very clear and distinct 'I think I've fallen in love with you', followed by a very clear and distinct round of 'I love you, Kurt''s," recounted Kurt, cradling his hot chocolate for comfort as he gulped at the memories. Lola's face had since morphed into one of utter concentration, giving him her full attention to a story that sounded so unbelievable and farfetched that it might just end up being genuinely believable. "You may doubt what I'm saying Lola, but I know what I heard. No one's ever fallen in love me... that I know of. He's the first, and I'll remember that moment for the rest of my life."

"It's alright Kurt, I believe you. It's just a little hard to digest is all, and I haven't even ordered anything to eat. Gee, I could kill for a bear claw right about now," admitted Lola, turning her head around to eye the counter at the far end of the café. Kurt would have smiled and broken it to her that the only thing they'd served here was anything that wasn't 'brown food'. They weren't on the Upper East Side as far as he knew but the imitation of the place in this café was reek worthy. Turning around, Lola lowered her voice, her eyes soft. "So... after he said he loved you Kurt, what did you say?"

"Nothing... I said nothing. Oh God," sighed Kurt sadly as he brought his hands to his face, his breathing laboring as Lola heard the sounds of sniffling. Kurt didn't want to shed a tear in the midst of others had acted like robots but he couldn't help it. "You should have seen him. There he was, waiting for me to say it back and I just couldn't. There he was, the kind of guy I always imagined myself loving but I still couldn't say it. I don't love him, and he just... he just looked so broken Lola, as if I'd made him fall in love with me and broken his heart at the same time."

"Shh, Kurt it's okay. You weren't ready. It happens."

"I know, but I didn't know it would happen to me. I really like Noah, but now... he resents me."

"Oh Kurt, I don't think he resents you. He's just upset."

"Well he was upset enough to speed all the way back here and dump me on the curve like I were trash."

"Oh Kurt, we'll sort this out. Don't you worry," comforted Lola as Kurt removed his hands from his face, his eyes watering and slightly red rimmed as he used his napkin to dab at them. It hadn't been a full on bawling session, just a little leakage, and as he sniffed once again before thanking the lord he'd ordered such sweet confectionery for lunch, he brought his attention to Lola. The girl was so good. She hadn't freaked out at all but then again, judging others wasn't her style. "Do you want to leave, go somewhere more private, or do you want to stay here and talk about it?"

"I think we'd better leave. Coming here was a mistake," nodded Kurt as he finished of his cocoa, wolfed down his muffin and stood up, both of them collecting their things before hurrying on over towards the elevator. For Lola, she had always sensed Noah had been interested in Kurt. Whether it had been in the form of fondness or something more, she hadn't known. Now, the answer had been revealed, the love of a handsome heir was in the picture and she just hoped that what Kurt had entered was shallow enough to wade out of. "Come on Lola, I'm going to tell you everything."

.

Glee

.

"I mean, people called that art? I could have totally made that," scoffed Carmen as both she, Kurt and Lola descended the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art before turning left and making their way into Central Park. None of them had been planning on going to ogle at art for the afternoon, but after taking note of an ending popular exhibition featuring the work of some abstract painter none of them had ever heard of, they'd decided to check it out, mostly to make themselves more intellectual and mostly because the weather outside had the heat of a furnace. "I mean a tower of bricks. Seriously."

"I guess you're not a fan of avant garde art then are you," smiled Kurt as Carmen shook her head. "That's okay, I'm not either. I mean, you'd think people who were are interested in the performing arts and fashion would look at that and not even bat an eyelid, but I'm still trying to come to grips with that... um... you know that white canvas we saw and all it had was black paint splattered across it? Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out whether it was supposed to signify something or if it was nothing more than the artist's disguised arrogant message for those too dim witted to decipher."

"Oh please, they're the dim-witted ones," snorted Lola, Kurt turning to face her as they all journeyed further and further into the park. Kurt had to bless the number of tress around. They were offering him plenty of shade, especially since he'd skipped out on the sunscreen today. Damn New York and its unpredictable weather. "They study for three years at expensive art colleges, learn all the techniques, research all there is to know, everything, and to what, recreate their finger painting days in Kindergarten? I mean, what's the different between an artist who paints like a child and a child's painting?"

"Believe me, only kids could create an endearing 'work of art' of that caliber and pull it off at the same time, but an experienced artist? It's like mutton dressed as lamb but for art," ranted Carmen, "but I guess you can't expect anything less from New York City. Intelligent authors, emotional poets and pissed off playwrights. They all run in the same circles, always trying to squeeze their way into the wealth circuit with the Upper East Side millionaires and Hamptons bachelors who've all sold their souls off to the devil... crap, I'm sorry Kurt. I spoke out of line. Sorry."

Kurt could only flash the girl a forgiving smile in response as they all neared an Tasti D-Lite cart nearby, the need for something sweet almost powering the boy's legs. That's all he ever seemed to eat today, confectionery. After finishing off his muffin and hot chocolate at the café, Lola had invited Carmen along on their New York strolling day to raise his dampened spirits. Kurt hadn't initially planned to for it to be a whole confession like affair but in the end, not only had he let both girls in on everything that had happened since the Balencia Ball, but also on the crush he had once had on Noah back in high school, a secret he'd kept under wraps for years. However in the end, his teenage puppy love hadn't been hard believe. It was what had happened at Noah's penthouse, Kurt's apartment, in Lima and in the Hamptons that had left his friends slack-jawed.

"Why don't you go for French Vanilla, Kurt. You've always struck me as... that kind of flavor," suggested Lola as they ordered their ice creams, Kurt looking over at the girl with a frown as they all made their way over to the Great Lawn. "I'm sorry Doll face. I do believe everything you've said, it's just... I don't know. I'm finding it a little hard to comprehend that you entered an affair with an engaged man behind everyone's backs, and with a man whose as high profile as he is, and in a town you've only lived in for three months, and again with a man you've known for less. Seriously, I could go on forever. The list is endless."

"Lola be quiet, we are in a public park. For all you know the ice cream man may have overheard you," warned Carmen, Lola shrinking slightly into herself as they continued walking along the vast lawn, several baseball games in practice as they spooned their ice creams. "I'm just glad no one else knows about this. I mean, to have done what you and Puckerman have done. You're just lucky that anyone who does know is on your side, otherwise this whole thing could have gone down as the second most scandalous affair in history after Kennedy and Monroe, and we all know how that ended."

"Well then I sure as hell hope Noah doesn't hire the Mafia to come and chloroform me into unconsciousness, strip me naked, administer a deadly enema and then position me to make it resemble a probable suicide," replied Kurt, reaching the other side of the lawn and sitting on the hill, glimmers of sunlight flickering through the leaves of the tree above as they all settled comfortably on the grass below. However, as predicted, Carmen looked over at him in confusion. People always did when they learned of Marilyn Monroe's correct cause of death. "That would be one lousy way to die, that's for sure."

"What are you talking about? Marilyn overdosed on Barbiturates, no one killed her."

"Oh please, everyone suspects the woman was murdered. It's the worst kept secret in the White House."

"Why would they kill her?"

"After she was dumped by Kennedy, she decided to blab to the press about the affair, so they silenced her."

"Well I heard she didn't even have sex with either of the Kennedy brothers because she didn't enjoy having sex with men at all," began Lola, Carmen scoffing yet again as Kurt turned to look at her with interest, his eyes wide. "Something to do with her suffering from bad bouts of endometriosis, and even if she did sleep with men, it would be in the day, standing up because she was afraid of the night or something. That and she had a lifelong fear of pregnancy due to the fact that insanity ran in her family and she feared she would go mad as well."

"Well that's irony for you," smirked Carmen, raising her eyebrows slightly as she looked back over the Great Lawn. Diving her spoon deep into her ice cream tub and cleanly licking it off with one smooth motion, Carmen savored the taste of Dulce De Leche, or at least the whipped flavored air version of it as they went about eating their assorted flavors, Kurt with Strawberry Shortcake and Lola, New York Cheesecake. "Marilyn Monroe, famous for inflaming the libidos of every man on the planet as Hollywood and America's most celebrated sex symbol didn't even like cock."

"I also heard that she slept with other women like Joan Crawford, Barbara Stanwyck, Marlene Dietrich, her two acting coaches, the 16 year old female leader of her fan club and even Elizabeth Taylor," continued Lola, who to Kurt seemed fully engrossed in the conversation. He'd by this moment in time forgotten how on Earth they had come to talk about the late actress. After all, he had called them out to talk about his affair with Noah, not Marilyn's with a collection of her female film rivals. "And I think she may have stalked Judy Garland at a party."

"Ok Lo, you know way too much about Marilyn's fluid sexuality," emphasized Kurt as he lodged his plastic spoon into his ice cream and fixed Lola with a look. It could have worked as well if the girl had actually been paying attention. It seemed as if she'd become so absorbed in the thoughts of lesbianism of a super starlet degree that not even the hot baseball players on the lawn, let alone Kurt, could pull her out of it. Curse you Marilyn and your sexy sexiness. "To be honest I don't think she was really a lesbian more like a... free spirit, but anyway can we just go back to my problem?"

"As I was saying," continued Carmen. "Kurt, I know you said Noah claimed he was going to tell his mom about you, he was going to leave Quinn for you and he was prepared to go public with you, but even if you do succeed in all of this, how do you think everyone else is going to react? Mrs. Puckerman may be a democrat but most people in business aren't. They have friends in high political republican places including the Puckerman's very own investors and partners. Announcing this thing you have with Noah might do more harm than good, even worse than when he was playing 'Man Slut of the City'."

"Yeah, Carmen's right Kurt. As much as I want to see this thing work out between you and Puckerman, you've got to think about what's best," nodded Lola, bringing an arm out to pat Kurt on the back reassuringly. "You're both so young and this is all going so fast. Look at Noah, he's already in love with you. It's new, it's exciting and the way you've kept it behind closed doors is like... a dirty little secret. I mean, I get it, it's thrilling, and no doubt for Puckerman it's the greatest thing since his first orgasm, but both of your eyes are blind to the outcomes of something that both of you could regret for years to come."

"I'm not blind to the outcomes, I just don't want to think about them," replied Kurt. "God, this is why I should let people in more often. By outcomes, I've always thought that they would result in Noah and I never being allowed to see each other again. It never even crossed my mind that it could affect his company or come to think of it, my job. See, if we'd had this discussion before I returned to Lima then I'd never have got back together with him, but I can't do that now, because the freaking man has fallen in love with me. Urgh, why does this whole thing have to feel so good when it's so bad?"

"Oh honey, they design it that way. It could be even worse if you yourself returned his love."

"That's the problem though. At the rate everything's going at, I'm going to soon."

"That's why you need to slow down, take a breather and think exactly about what you want from all of this."

"I just want to be with him."

"Well then, I say you stick by your man and just face the outcomes together head on, whatever they may be," smiled Lola comfortingly, Kurt returning the expression as they all looked over the Great Lawn. It was a beautiful day, and the boy could only think that if he'd said the right words that night in the Hamptons, maybe he'd be with Noah right now, just like old times. "If in the end everything works out well, great, but if not, at least you've had a good time with him. You have all those great memories to remember him by, outside Lover boy's Love-nasium and in."

"Okay Lola, that was inappropriate. Can't you sense the tone of this conversation? We're trying to figure out what do here not start wondering what the two of them got up to in Puckerman's 'love-nasium'," whispered Carmen harshly, Lola rolling her eyes in frustration as Kurt returned to eating his ice cream with maybe a little more force and concentration than was necessary. He needed something to cool him down fast because he'd been dreading this question. Answering it once to Mercedes was quite enough. "But just out of curiosity Kurt, how was he? You know, in his... humble chamber."

"Guys!" exclaimed Kurt as he made quick to swallow his latest chunk of ice cream before looking over at both his friends in an incredulous fashion. Sure, if he'd been in the mood, along with being heavily alcohol intoxicated, he might have revealed the various bedroom antics he and Noah had taken part in, but with various mothers pushing strollers nearby and kids screaming and running around all over the place, their innocent faces shining bright, now was really not the time to be talking about his sex life. "This is not a suitable conversation. We are in a public park for heaven's sake, where is your sense of decency?"

"Screw decency, I want to know whether he lived up to his reputation or not," dismissed Lola, putting down her ice cream tub and turning her whole body to face him, Carmen annoyingly doing the same. There Kurt was, being caught in between these two horny girls, wanting to know if the man he'd been secretly seeing was really all talk or not. However, the truth was, there was so much more to it all. Women abusing Noah's position, Noah's impressive endowment, everything. "Does he have a big dick? Oh, did you ride his big cock and fuck him till both your eyes rolled back in your heads?"

"Was it all sweaty from the constant writhing?" giggled Carmen, Kurt pulling a pained face before burying it into his hands, both girls laughing with other as he groaned. Yes, it had been sweaty many a time. In fact, sweat had been the main giveaway to their first romp in the first place. Neither girl had any idea how much sweat had gone into every sexual encounter both he and Noah had engaged in, yet how many a time exactly was that? Kurt couldn't recall. "Was your headboard fiercely knocking up against the wall till the thought of it breaking actually crossed your mind?"

"Stop! Seriously guys, just stop. If you must know, Noah and I haven't... slept together that way yet."

"Really? Then what have you been doing?"

"Well we've... um... I mean, I've beat him off and er... I've blown him and-"

"Has he reciprocated, or has it just been you doing all the work? I thought it was supposed to be the other way round with this man."

"Well, it's not like he's not attracted to my body, it's just that for many years he's slept with women, and so he knows how to please a woman, but when we first did it, he was faced with something completely different. He didn't know what to do and it was embarrassing for him, especially since he was a self acclaimed pro before hand," replied Kurt. "It'll take time. He's in the midst of embracing his bisexuality and he is learning. I have been showing him what... pleases me and he's taken it all in. In fact, the last couple of times we did it, I wasn't the one who initiated it, he was."

"No kidding. I bet as soon as he got the general gist of it, he went full steam ahead," giggled Lola as Kurt ducked his head and smiled down into his lap, his fingers cradling his ice cream tub. "Kurt, I'm telling you now, that man is a keeper. You must have done something right if he's fallen for you. I mean, now that he has, he'll be pretty much open to do anything you want. Not that I'm encouraging you to take advantage of his feelings but you know, if you want to go a little deeper into the bedroom, I'm sure it won't take long to convince him."

"Like that's ever going to happen," snorted Carmen. "Now that Puckerman knows Kurt doesn't return his feelings to the same extent, he's probably reverted back into a self conscious and unsure state of not knowing what to do. You know what happens when the other person doesn't say 'I love you' back? The relationship is reduced to a thread like lifeline, or at best, trapped in limbo. Either the second person confesses their love in the space of about a week or they don't and they break up. With Puckerman, it might be different considering how insatiable he is, but who knows."

"Thanks C, that's really helpful right now. The worse thing about all this is, I don't know what he's thinking. I haven't been able to contact him since that day, I have no idea what he's doing. For all I know, he could have moved on from me and I wouldn't even have a clue," replied Kurt. "You know, ever since I came to New York, I've used my head instead of my heart. I used it to help me decide to do modeling, I've used it on three separate occasions against Noah when he's wanted to start things up, but the one time I should have used my heart, even if it wasn't true, was then, and I didn't."

"Don't blame yourself Kurt, you're only hurting yourself," soothed Lola, looking at Kurt before allowing her eyes to drift once again over the Great Lawn. However, she gasped in shock as what she saw before her was far from convenient. On the other side of the lawn, strolling nonchalantly along the green, was none other than Noah Puckerman, hand in hand with his blonde fiancée Quinn, his siblings Sarah and Jake Puckerman following closely behind them. Wasn't it always the way? You talked about someone and they showed up. "Kurt, you've finished with your ice cream right? You want to go?"

"Well, I thought we could just stay here and... oh," trailed Kurt, finally catching sight of his wealthy lover in the company of his blushing bride to be. His heart dropped. If what he was seeing before him was correct, then so were his predictions. Noah had returned to Quinn, to his family and everything else whilst at the same time, shunned Kurt aside, all made known with just a casual outing in the park. There they all were in the New York sun, Jake and Sarah bickering as the kids they were whilst Noah and Quinn engaged in a light hearted conversation, whispers in the ear, the tracing of the thumb, everything. "Get me out of here."

"Yeah, let's do that. We can leave without them noticing."

"Well we're going to have to be quick, they're coming this way."

"Crap, okay... um... let's take the pathway behind us down to the Delacorte Theater."

"What about out our ice cream tubs?"

"There's a trash can nearby, come on. Less chatting, more moving! Let's go!" ordered Carmen as all three of them launched themselves up from their sitting positions on the ground, and joined the pathway behind them. Dumping their Tasti D-Lite tubs in the trash as Carmen had indicated, they all but power walked down the park. However, they would have made better time if only their route hadn't been riddled with obstacles in the form of strollers, runners, slow moving couples and general midday mayhem. They were everywhere and it was last think Kurt needed. He was already finding it hard to breath. So hard.

As they journeyed, and as both Lola and Carmen eyed him with worry, Kurt stole another fleeting glance over the Great Lawn. The Puckerman clan were still there, happy as ever, but now they were all engaging in a fun game of tag, running around, their shouts of excitement blending into the cries of the baseball players all around them. They truly looked like the perfect family, and it was tearing Kurt apart every second he allowed himself to look. He was glad he did though. The pain he was feeling was not in vain, because as he took notice of Noah chasing Quinn, her screams of laughter loud and beautiful, he realized that all that stood between them was only now several meters of grass, trees and various other assortments of foliage. How had the distance closed so quickly? Yet despite this, Kurt had never felt more far away from Noah. Ever.

"Quick, behind this tree," instructed Kurt, grabbing a firm hold of both Carmen and Lola and pulling them over to the nearest tree by the pathway. Both girls' eyes were wide as they looked back at him intensely, as if asking what the hell was going on through sight. Signaling with a nod of the head, Kurt directed their eyes to where they'd just come from on the path, and as predicted, both Carmen and Lola peeked around the tree and withheld their shocked gasps. Noah and his Puckerman posse had indeed reached their side of the Great Lawn, not quite reaching the pathway, but definitely too close for comfort. "Fuck, what do we do?"

"We'll just to wait it out until they go away, or we can try to walk up this way and through the trees until we reach the road up ahead, something I really don't want to do. I only bought these cute shoes yesterday, See?" voiced Lola, motioning with her head down to the admittedly adorable pair of white stilettos on her feet. They weren't exactly the traditional form of footwear for a heatwave like day in October, but it was Lola. She had an excuse. "Besides, what is Puckerman doing back with Fabray? I thought you said he didn't like her, plus didn't you say he was going to leave her."

"Leave her for who? Kurt? After what's happened in the Hamptons Lola, you really think that's going to happen now?" replied Carmen as she neared her head to those of the others. "Look I have to say this and this may hurt you Kurt, but what did you think would happen? He's already skydived off a cliff with saying 'I love you' only to crash land on some rocks when you didn't say it back. He's not going to want to take any more risks if he thinks you are not going to there with him, feeling for him as he feels for you. To be honest, what we've seen is only to be expected."

"Skydived off a cliff only to crash land on some rocks, Carmen? I know you're telling me how it is with your freakishly accurate psychological thinking mind but please, ease up on the all too colorful language. I'm hurting here enough as it is," moaned Kurt as Carmen threw him an apologetic smile, all three them forever cursing the ridiculous situation they were in. Talk about a lovely afternoon gone family movie type wrong. "Instead of getting all analytical on me, why don't you help us figure out what the hell we're going to do. We can't just wait it out; they're probably setting up picnic camp near us as we speak."

"I know! I've got an idea," cried out Lola suddenly, as Kurt and Carmen hurriedly shushed her with a finger. They couldn't risk anything giving them away right now, and though it was high time both Kurt and Noah had a little heart to heart talk about everything that was going on, the appearance of Quinn had shaken everything off its axis. The boy just wanted to be elsewhere, anywhere where else but here, where the sight of the future Puckerman couple wasn't as potent to the mind. "Carmen and I will just run past them playing tag which will divert they're attention giving Kurt a change to escape."

"He's met us before, Lola, remember? I met him outside Creed and you met him here in this very same park, and unlike him, we're not wearing shades," replied Carmen dryly. "Besides, we're too old to play playground games. It's just childish and immature. Plus I can just imagine a fed up dad filming it on his phone and uploading it to YouTube where it will become viral with the title 'Hot Girls Playing Stick in the Jell-O' or something equally degrading that will have audiences ranging from either hormonal teenage boys or creepy old men pleasuring themselves to. My God, it's too sick to even say it."

"Well unless you can come up with a better plan, you're just going to have to go with Lola's."

"Yeah, go with mine, it'll be so much fun. We can play Cops and Robbers. I'll be the Robber and you be the Cop. "

"How about no."

"The old clock's a tickin' C. What's it going to be?"

"Oh God, now she's rhyming," moaned Carmen, looking around the trunk of the tree. Noah and his entourage hadn't moved since they'd last checked up on them, but their tree was slam-dunk in perfect view, not they were looking this way. Though, it would only be a matter of time. However instead of updating the others of the family, Carmen couldn't help but notice the happily chatting couple, Quinn's face full of life as Noah looked down at her with warmth. In her opinion, the look wasn't nearly as warm as the one given to Kurt outside Creed. Nothing could recreate real love after all. She could see it.

"Just go already. I'll meet up with you guys later," ordered Kurt harshly as he shoved Lola from behind the tree, the girl nearly tripping over her heels as she screamed in delight, her theater skills coming out in full force as if the curtain to an opening night's performance had just been raised with her as the leading starlet wowing the audience with just a million dollar smile. Pushing a hesitant Carmen with a little more force than he had with Lola, Kurt smiled apologetically back at the girl as she flashed him an irritated look before running after the blonde, the two actresses laughing in the sun's spotlight.

After several seconds had passed, Kurt peeped out from around the trunk and observed Lola's plan in action. It seemed to be working for the most part. Not only had they both caught the attention of Noah and Quinn but others around the vicinity as well. No one knew what the hell they were doing with some looking around to see if this was part of a reality TV show or just two young women messing around, because as very much to Carmen's prediction, both girls looked utterly ridiculous, but it was an excellent distraction. Kurt now had the opportunity to flee but whilst he did, Noah continued to eye the girls with a curious expression, the two familiar figures running past him as they ran across the Great Lawn. He knew those girls. He'd met them once before, both in the company of someone he very much knew.

Tearing his eyes away from both girls, Noah scanned the area for that someone, but no sight of him met his eyes. Quinn on the other hand, was still watching the two batty girls garner more attention as they distracted the likes of all the baseball players, boys and men around, including Noah, who had sported a look as if he'd tried to remember where he knew them from. Quinn didn't want to know from where, but she had a clear idea, however as she tore her eyes away to look back up at her handsome fiancé, she noticed his attention was now elsewhere. He was searching the vicinity with intent eyes as if he were now looking for something or someone, and no amount of six inch 'come fuck me' heels or streams of dangerous red hair could deter his attention.

Of course she was happy that Noah wasn't lusting over them, biting his lip and readjusting a certain something down there but yet it was odd of him not to have been even in the slightest bit interested. She was just about to inquire if there was anything wrong or if maybe he'd like some Tasti D-Lite from the ice cream cart coming their way, when Noah's breath hitched. The man had spared a final scan when out from behind a tree ahead bolted a figure. It was running from them both, skilfully dodging the many pedestrians along the way and although Noah couldn't see their face, he knew very well who they were. His hazel eyes were widening, his heart beat faster and his lips were being bitten, but not out of lust, but to prevent himself from screaming after the retreating figure who was hurting him with every step they took, every step into disappearance.

Kurt…

.

Glee

.

Fitting the key into his door lock, Kurt trudged through the threshold and into his apartment. Placing his light blue satchel by the end table in the hallway, he proceeded towards the kitchen, his mouth parched for water. After he had fled from Noah and Quinn in Central Park, he hadn't known what to do with himself. His afternoon had been effectively ruined; he hadn't met up again with Carmen and Lola after their little stunt despite telling them he would, and his body inside and out was just aching from exhaustion. The heat from the sun as well as all the drama had stripped him dry of any energy and he'd spent the remains of his time, sitting on his apartment building steps, fiddling with his fingers and casually watching the occasional car or person walk by with a face that broke out into nothing but an expression of misery.

He hadn't enjoyed running away from Noah. He hadn't enjoyed using both Carmen and Lola as distractions to get away from the man. When Kurt had first seen him from across the Great Lawn, his heart had begun to flutter so anxiously and his hands had been shaking so dangerously that he was surprised he hadn't catapulted his ice cream tub up into the air and allowed the remnants of Strawberry Shortcake confectionery to land messily onto his hair. However, even that sticky thought hadn't been enough to deter him from the picturesque sight that had played before him. Noah and Quinn, again looking like the perfect couple with his siblings, that if you ignored the fact that they were his younger brother and sister, were their children running wild, creating the image of the perfect traditional American Family... and then there was him.

Kurt. Kurt Hummel. The modelling world's angelic new living and breathing mannequin, a pretty human formed clothing rack who was now sweeping their runways, posing within their studios and stunning the world on glossy magazines of Vogue like stature and prestige. This boy, with his virgin white skin, innocent blue eyes and a precious pout that anyone would want to corrupt had already been named 'Most Beautiful Face of 2012' and was buzzing to beat Cara Delavigne's crown of 'Best Model of the Year'. Kurt had had to harden himself to the idea of being worth looking at after so much time as the boy who had hardly been there in anyone's eyes, yet all this attention to his supposedly goody too shoes outside shell was nothing but insignificant in the wake of knowing that the one person he wanted looking at him, didn't want to anymore.

With that in mind, what was the point of being beautiful? It wasn't a necessity in this world, yet it was something society nowadays just couldn't live without, and what was the point in love, when someone nearly always got hurt? Was that the pain was so good that it was addictive or was it merely something glamorized again by society? There wasn't a point in love, that was just it. It was nature's class A drug, intoxicant, and sweet poison that ruined people's lives. Kurt knew he was being bitter but how else was he supposed to feel in his situation? Carmen had been right in thinking that if his affair with Noah was blown wide open; it could potentially end their lives as they knew them, but that was only if there was to be an affair to speak about any more. Revealing anything now was out of the question.

However back in Central Park, whilst Kurt had fled from behind his tree and into the concealment of nature's foliage, he had allowed himself another fleeting look at the man who loved him. Kurt hadn't been expecting Noah's attention to come his way, thanks to the girls, but when it did, he'd almost lost his footing. Ray-Ban shades had descended onto him and although he couldn't make out those hazel eyes, he knew Noah's gaze was upon him once more. It was a gaze Kurt could sense, one of adoration, longing, but above all, hurt. What he had done had really hurt Noah's feelings. A beautiful bludgeoning that hadn't gone easy on the heart, and only seemed to increase his own guilt. No doubt he'd now ruined Noah's afternoon. He didn't mean to flatter himself, but he knew Noah's mind was on him now rather than on Quinn, or anyone else.

Another secret not made known to many, or to no one at all, was that Kurt had fallen in love back in high school. It had been young love, an extreme case of puppy love gone wrong as it had shot up through the skylight dome of affection, an experience Kurt hoped never to experience again. It had turned out that the boy he'd liked had been straight, so straight in fact that he had been known primarily for his overbearing heterosexuality, which had carved a way into most girl's hearts, much like his own. After that, he had promised never to allow himself to be so easily carried away, for he may not have known what love was, but if it were anything like he had experienced, it was pain. Pain that he needed to fix right now with a glass of water and good old deep fried, butter covered American comfort food. Lord knew he was in need of it.

"Hi, I'd like to order a Margarita Pizza please. West 98th, Riverside Drive, Apartment 4. Thank you," ordered Kurt, leaning against the counter and scuffing his foot against the other. He'd meant to order from a local Pizzeria since this neighborhood was absolutely riddled with them but in the end, he'd relented to order from Mangia, where the risk of piling on the calories wasn't as high. People were known to gain weight during relationship drama, as well as max out their credit cards on the economy, but he was not going to do that, no. Well maybe shop, but that was about it.

As he put the phone down, Kurt casually sipped on his water before entering the living room. The light from the sun was dimming and the late afternoon was quickly opening its doors to the evening. As he sat himself down on his couch, Kurt stared down at his glass before standing up again and raising it to the ceiling. Here was to another night of being all by himself. No friends to mindlessly banter with, and no Noah to snuggle up against. He sipped at it before sighing and falling back onto the couch, the glass now resting on the coffee table. So he wasn't addressed. Who cared? There wasn't anyone to address him, so who cared? I do, he thought as he continued to wait for his forty-five to sixty minute delivery, his phone suddenly ringing as he did. I do...

"Hey Carmen."

"Don't 'hey Carmen' me Doll Face, what happened to you? I thought we were going to meet up afterwards."

"We were, but I just wasn't in the mood. Not that I'm not appreciative for what you and Lola did for me."

"You better be. I nearly got pinched by some pervert and Lo's right heel broke off before she fell, three times."

"Oh God, you guys I'm so sorry. I'll be sure to buy her a new pair and as for that pervert, well, I'm sure you gave him what for," giggled Kurt as he could begin to imagine how that must of turned out. He didn't know where Carmen got it, maybe it was something only red hot headed babes like herself only possessed, but when someone abused the assets, the girl would bring a whole other meaning to the word feisty. "However, you'll be happy to know that despite the high ridicule factor in Lola's plan, I managed to escape, but I think Noah saw me."

"What? Don't tell me Lo and I mortified ourselves for nothing! We were the ones who had to act as total fools whilst you were the one who just had to run from behind a freaking tree without being seen! How hard is that?" Exclaimed Carmen loudly as Kurt winced at the sheer volume in her voice. She was annoyed and Kurt just didn't know what to say. "I knew it was a bad idea. The reason why I didn't like it was mainly because he would recognize us which would make him think you were around or nearby, and now you're saying he saw you. He's probably caught on to what we were all really doing."

"C, I've just ordered a large pizza. Doesn't that already indicate how terrible I feel," moaned Kurt, planking on the couch as he buried his face into the cushion. Now he felt like having fries on the side, with a burger, and a hot dog and a pie. Oh God, he needed help. "I used to be so good at keeping the carbs at bay but since coming to the city, my barriers are breaking down. Don't be surprised if next time you see me I'll be in the midst of being air lifted out of my crushed bed, being cut out of my own doorway with the Jaws of Life or rolling down the catwalk, flattening every rich bitch out there."

"Don't worry, Kurt. Carlson, Lola and I will all weight watcher you from those dinner lady arms. Just eat a slice tonight and save the rest for tomorrow."

"Good plan. I'm only one tiny person."

"Or you could share it with someone else. Want me to come over? Misery loves company."

"Not this misery C. I need to be by myself and my expanding stomach tonight."

"Alright, you can have tonight Doll Face, but remember, you owe me. Lola gets new shoes, so I want something to. It's only fair since I'm counting the hours it takes for my face to appear on YouTube's most popular videos which for everyone's sakes, I better get paid for," replied Carmen as Kurt smiled, even more appreciative for the girl's attempt at lightening the somber mood. However before he could reply with a comment regarding what kind of present she'd like, a knock rattled Kurt's door. Whipping his head towards the hall, he frowned. It couldn't be his pizza. It had only been ten minutes.

"Got to go, C. Someone's at my door and I'm hoping it's Mangia with my two thousand calorie intake for the night. I'll call you tomorrow, bye," parted Kurt as he hung up before jumping off his couch and into the hall. Swiping up his wallet from his satchel, he pried ten dollars from its depths before opening the door and halting immediately. From loose fingers, his bank notes fluttered to the ground at his feet as his mouth went dry, his eyes grew wide and his legs went numb. For there before him now was him, the man from the park, the man from the Hamptons and the man who loved him unfathomably.

Noah...

~ PLEASE REVIEW ~

(But if you wish to criticize, may it be constructive. I'm not going to learn from my mistakes and improve if you vent.)

Author's Note: I took inspiration from Bert Stern's The Last Sitting (1962) featuring Marilyn Monroe for Kurt's photoshoot, and the bar in Britney Spears' music video for Womanizer (2008) for the café.

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to the characters from Glee since I don't own the show. I'm not earning money from this and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. I mean only to please whoever stumbles upon my Love Story.

~ STAY TUNED FOR MORE BY FOLLOWING/FAVORITING ~