I suddenly woke up. I was breathing very heavily and felt very wet. I sat up looking at my surroundings to notice I am perfectly safe in my own bed. It was quiet inside the room, aside from the body breathing quietly next to me. I looked down to see Yoruichi sleeping happily next to me. of course I envied her for her nice dreams she was having while I had nightmares of my family's death.
It is somehow mysterious that this memory just wants to haunt me till the day I die, and there is nothing I can possibly do to avoid or stop it. Even excepting the dream still makes me wake up in the middle of the night all sweaty and out of breath. And just having the flashbacks are hard enough, but reliving it almost everynight is a really hard thing to live with.
I slowly got out of bed trying not to disturb the peaceful goddess sleeping next to me. knowing sleep will not overtake me again, or just afraid of dreaming again, I made my way from my small room to the small living room in my apartment. There was a nice 32" flat screen handing from the wall of course I turned it on to watch the news. It was my way to help me cope, with my nightmares.
It seems as though I am trying to find my family's killer. So in hopes I watch the news to hear if there were any sort of hairy beasts around the country who massacre any people recently. But of course, I find nothing. But I don't plan on giving up, I just refuse to let the killer go happily free.
I layed on the couch thinking about the dream over and over as I listened to the news in the background. Of course the dream is the same every night. A tall dark haired cat monster eating away at my dead mother's body as I come home catching the monster in the act. And each and everytime, right before the monster slashes at me, it goes blank and I wake up. Of course what happened was just an old memory from 4 years ago. But I cant remember anything after the beast trying to attack me. all that I can remember after that is waking up lying in the living room floor soaked in blood, both mine, and the doctors wouldn't tell me what else it was. they just always told me with my injuries I am lucky to be alive.
The police were shocked at the sight that they found me and my fmaily in, they too couldnt believe that I am alive. when i saw the criminal evidence of the photographs i saw of my brothers, father, mother, and me. still 4 years later, i can't understand why I'm alive and they are all dead. if only they could be alive with me, of jsut be alive in my place. 7 innocent people died for me to live. Tears started to form.
"that mother fucker just tore their bodies apart splattering their blood and gutts around the walls." i whispering putting my hands up to my face. "in my fucking room! just seeing all their heads not on their bodies and their eyes and mouths open with some sort of fear. the forensics team even had a hard time discovering which brother's body was on the certins, on my floor, in my closet, or just a mess splattered and thrown everywhere.
I then leaped up grabbing the TV remote throwing it across the room letting my anger flow out. i couldnt barely even see clearly until the remote flew into the kitchen breaking glass. I then flinched at the alarming sound afraid that i woke up Yoruichi. At the thought i rushed intot he kitchen already cleaning up the broken wine glasses on the floor. but just before i grabbed a broom. i instead went into the fridge to find a nice big tall glass of vodka. i opened it up and just drank straight from the bottle. feeling the burn go down my throat and chest to my stomach actually felt good.
i then started to chug the bottle starting to feel a little absent. i felt myself not caring and lossening away from my body and just watch from afar as my body just did as it wished. until Yoruichi grabbed my shoulder from behind turning me around to see that i am trying to get and, and was being very successful! her messy long purple hair was in her face and fuzzy, but her golden honey eyes were wide awake with fear of seeing me in my terrible pathetic state.
she knew why I was doing what i was doing now. i looked into her eyes and felt bad knowing she didnt like me to drink like this. i started to cry again as i took a step towards her, dragging foot it brushed against the glass cutting my foot and feeling it get stuck. but of course, i didnt feel it, so i didnt care about it!
Yoruichi gave me a scared look as i stumbled on the glass, I fell loosing my balance. and just before i would cut myself again on the glass, Yoruichi swiftly grabbed me and picked me up like her bride taking the bottle out of my hands. making her way towards the bathroom to clean me up.
as she was very good as always at fixing my injuries, she wanted to talk.
"so you had another nightmare?" she whispered. my silence and refusal of not even looking at her direction said everything. she got out her medical kit as she was a doctor. she got out some weird objects that i wouldnt dare to know what to do with. but she was taking out the glass in my foot.
"you need to stop this midnight drinking." she said in a very worried voice. i didnt dark look up at her. i just looked down as i was sitting on the toilet as she was across from me on the edge of the bathtub tending to my foot.
i stared at the tile not daring to look up at her. she always had this weird look and i would always feel guilty. just hearing her voice made me feel guilty.
"why wont you answer me?" she stopped looking at me, and i didn't dare look up from the tiles on the floor. that is, until she leaned forward grabbing my chin forcing me to look up into her honey filled eyes. she looked very serious and I felt like the kid who stuck her hand into the cookie jar when told not to. Tears were still forming from my eyes, but no noise cam from me, just silent tears of pain. Yoruichi didn't know what to do, she rarely saw me in tears. i was such a strong person who doesnt like to let anyone in, and alot of the times, that was Yoruichi. I felt bad that I shut her out, but it's just hard to openly tell her things. It's not like I don't trust her, it's just, I don't feel safe? But that isn't possible. I trust her to tend my foot, sleep with her, live with her. Then Yoruichi said something that just made me realize something.
"you know, you never told me about your nightmares." right there. that sentence, made me realize it. I trust her to an extent. I refuse to tell her about my past, or even the shitty things i have gone through. I don't lie to her, I just don't say anything at all. and it seems to be hurting Yoruichi instead of protecting her.
she let go of my chin finally giving up knowing that I wasnt going to budge and went back to fixing my foot. "it never hurts to tell me about your feelings Little Bee." I hated that nickname. it was very stupid and it seemed as though I was just a child when I was a grown adult. now, i could have told her that easily. but, what would that do? Just upset Yoruichi more. exactly what I do not wish. I want her to live a very happy life. and I love her and want to be with her, but in order to be with her, i can't tell her things about my life.
once she got out all the glass, she got up placing my foot where she sat saying she will be right back. just as she left she came right back. but she had a big object in her hand. it took me a second to realize it was the vodka I was just drinking earlier. she sat down grabbing a wash clothe next to the sink. she opened the bottle and before I had time to reject, she was already pour the vodka on my foot having the clothe catch the dripping liquid from my foot. i winced biting my lips starting to feel the pain. she finally stoped as she then retrieved a new object from a bag. this time i knew what it was. i cringed from the needle and she just smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry sweetie, but this has to be done in order for your foot to be fully healed.
the pain was now surging up my leg and i started to feel light headed. "please hurry." i whispered as she smiled at my first words of the night. the i felt obligated to talk to her. "im sorry i drank too much. I was just stressed and unable to go back to sleep." i whispered and she nodded happy that i was finally talking.
"did you have a nightmare?" she asked as she was stitching up my foot.
i looked away avoiding her beautiful honey filled eyes. "yes, but i don't want to talk about it." Yoruichi felt defeated, but was glad to hear me finally talking.
"it's ok, i'm just glad that your not mad at me." she smiled finishing up my foot.
I was shocked. "how could I ever be mad at you? I love you dearly, i couldnt bare to be without you. I would never want to be aprt from you. You are such a beautiful, amazing, funny, caring, smart person. and i still worry that you will just all of a sudden leave me." I couldnt believe what I was saying. I never would have been so openly to tell her about my feelings. but for some reason, she hugged me happy for reasons unknown.
she wrapped her arms around my head forcing my head to her breasts barely able to breathe with those huge things in my face. "Oh my sweet Bee, I would never leave you. I love you too much to ever let you go. and it is great to hear you say those things. I don't think I have ever heard you say such things." I felt tears as she placed her cheek on the top of my head.
I moved my head so we could look into each others eyes as we ended up in a passionate kiss. Move my arms up around her neck. I then moved so I weight on my good foot. I then pushed against her making her hit the wall. she moaned but still kept hold with the kiss. I felt the sting with each step with my bad foot, but it was ignored when all i could concentrate was Yoruichi's lips against mine with her hands exploring my body under my shirt. We then somehow started making our way out of the bathroom trying to get into our room. But in the process we kept on running into the walls hitting forcing me against the wall or forcing Yoruichi against the wall. Each time we hit we would stop the kiss with moans and groans, but would continue wanting each other more. soon thinking about the nightmares and painful memories vanished. What filled my mind was just the taste of Yoruichi's tongue along with her and my hands exploring each others bodies trying to make out way to our room. Eventually we finally made way into the bedroom.
I then forced Yoruichi down onto the bed as I got ontop of her straddling her waist looking down into her lustful golden eyes. she was like me, hungry for each other and wont be satisfied until we have each other. I then growled as i lowered my head down to her neck as she moaned my name.
Well that was an interestingly boring chapter...it was so boring to write I fell asleep twice! But the next chapter should be very upbeat! why? one word... LEMON! yea you know it. Yoruichi and Soi are gonna do it! yey! =P