You all happy now? You all love me? Keep Nettlepaw in mind, because you probably won't be very fond of what Ice tells him in this chapter. I'll make you a promise. Nettlepaw never dies in this story. So don't worry about that! Thanks so much for reviewing! I hope you enjoy this next chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Spike- or Nettlepaw -flinched back at the complete shock in her voice. She looked just as frightened as he did, if not more. She was gasping in something that was either horror or astonishment, or a mix of the two.

He was trembling. "How do you know my name?"

Ice was speechless now. No words, not even a sound emitted from her mouth. She was now holding her breath, waiting for him to realize.

Nettlepaw narrowed his eyes at her. "Am I supposed to know you?"

Now she was speaking, "You just spent many moments talking about the one cat that understood you, the one cat you truly loved, and you can't put this to place?"

He looked down. "But you can't possibly be...She was just so...she was just so sweet, so lively. I knew things would get better for her."

"And they did," Ice whispered.

"Funny how it all looks different when you're different."

She winced as he spoke the words, the words he shared while standing on the Thunderpath the night he escaped, gazing up at the stars like they held everything important. But they didn't. They were wrong.

"Can't...can't you recognize me?" she asked him.

He studied her with a look on his face that made her feel like she was growing another head, and then he spoke. "...When was the last time you saw your reflection?"

She closed her eyes at his question. What did she look like? Was she really so different than she was before? She answered honestly. "I have no idea."

"Come." Nettlepaw turned and padded off away from her. Hesitating, Ice followed, fearing where he was leading her.

After minutes, a small pool came to view. It was a dip on a stone floor, cold and clear, and she was afraid to look in, but Nettlepaw coaxed her to. She gazed at him painfully and leaned over the water, to look at what it was giving her.

A cat was staring back at her, but this wasn't just any cat. It's eyes were carrying a look so horrific that even Ice couldn't stand to see them any longer. Her shoulders and flank were covered with scars, though she had never felt it when she was in a fight. And a long, deep scratch ran from the side of her head to the skin protecting her ribs. It was the scratch that she had given herself before discovering who Nettlepaw was. And by the looks of it, it was a scar she would have forever. Other than those big things, some fur on her tail was missing, half of her right ear was torn off, and her chin had a scrape, probably from sleeping on the rock-hard surface of the ledge every night.

She pulled her eyes away from the pool and looked at Nettlepaw. "That's why you didn't recognize me." she said gravely.

He nodded. "Tell me what happened. It's your turn to share, Frozenpaw."

"Ice," she hissed, startling Nettlepaw. "My name is Ice. Frozenpaw was a helpless creature of pain and misery. I'll never go back to her. Ever."

"Fine," he replied gently. "Just tell me your story."

"Very well." She sat, wrapping her tail protectively over her paws, feeling that if she got angry, she'd use them, and at that moment, that's the last thing she wanted. "Well, from the day I was born, Nettlepaw, I was treated lower than Lionkit. All I ever wanted was to be a warrior, so...I don't really know why. Everything in my head is still kinda foggy right now."

"That's okay," said Nettlepaw. "Please continue."

She sighed. "Well, I think it was because I wanted to prove myself as an equal to Lionkit. Just because I was smaller doesn't mean I couldn't be as good as he was...or so I thought." She but her tongue, not wanting to say more, but knowing she had to. "Oakshade, my father, if you don't remember, said something about me never being good enough, and that was the reason I wanted to be a medicine cat. Not because I was interested in it. Because I felt that I needed to, that it was an escape from the all.

"And then Lionkit and I became 'paws. Nothing much was really happening, but on that first night." She paused, feeling it all come to her. "A white cat came to me, and she scared me, but that was all there was to her." I can't tell him the truth. I just can't... "And then when you and your siblings and Lionpaw were out training, and you told me we needed to escape, I didn't know it, but I fell in love with you, and then I helped you and you told me if I were a warrior, you would have stayed, and I felt like I was just a big mistake!

"But then, it got worse. Lionpaw was the best of everyone and your siblings got their warrior name and everyone forgot you except me, Nettlepaw. I never forgot you." That was another lie. She had not remembered him until he had told his own story. "And then, something horrible happened. Oakshade started a battle between ThunderClan and ShadowClan, just so Lionpaw could be a warrior." She spat those last few words.

"And he did. He defeated ShadowClan, and our leader..."

"Flickerstar," Nettlepaw offered.

"Flickerstar," she said, "He gave him his warrior name. Lionfire. And that same day I..." she trailed off, unable to continue. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"You what, Frozenpaw?"

She glared at Nettlepaw. "I killed him."

A look of disbelief crossed his face and he took a step back. "Frozenpaw-"

"Ice!" she yowled. "For the last time, it's Ice!"

Nettlepaw ignored her. "Frozenpaw, I thought you were stronger than that. How could you kill him, he did nothing wrong."

"I thought you'd understand me," she growled. "Just like I understood you. Please Nettlepaw, let it go now. I'm a changed cat. I'm evil because I had to get away from all the guilt and self-hatred. Let me be happy, Nettlepaw, just let me be happy. Don't ruin it."

He stared at her for a long moment.

"We're together aren't we?" she asked.

Suddenly, he came up and rubbed his muzzle against her good ear. She sprang back. "What are you doing?" she snarled.

Nettlepaw looked hurt. "I just thought...since we..."

"No," Ice said, briefly shaking her head. "I'm sorry, Nettlepaw but I simply have no time for a mate. I have to get back to alleyway and continue my reign. I need to bounce back."

"I thought I would-"

"What? Break my evil?" Ice asked. "I thought I just told you, let me have this. Perhaps a moment ago, I couldn't a soul, but now I know what's been troubling me. I can go back to my normal life now."

"Of what? Killing and hurting others? That's just selfish, Frozenpaw."

"It. Is. Ice," she growled. "Look, I lost you once, and I don't want to lose you again. We're together, yes, and I'd like to stay that way, but there is no chance I will have time for you or any tom!"

Nettlepaw threw her a desperate glance. "It's the best I've got, Ice. I thought when we met again, we'd have the love I always dreamed of, but if you don't want the same things I do, then fine. I really do want to make you happy. I'll keep my distance, but at least give me your friendship."

Ice looked at his outstretched paw, thinking. She would see him, and she was happy about that. But a friendship? That'd be dangerous.

Then her thoughts took a turn. He loved her, and they both knew it, and perhaps having the one cat that could stop her actually on her side, then she would be invincible! She smiled and pounded his paw with her own. "You've got my friendship, Nettlepaw," she promised. "Allow me to lead you the alleyway. I cannot wait to see the looks on their faces when they see you by my side."

Ice climbed to the ledge and took her place above the rest of the alleyway. Nettlepaw sat at the base of the Twolegnest, amber eyes following her every move. She nodded at him and yowled for the Alley Cats to hear.

"Attention!" she called, and all eyes snapped to her. "I have an announcement regarding a cat you know as Spike."

Worried murmurs swept through the alley. Bolt widened his gaze and looked away.

"First of all, Spike is not his real name, and if any of you bothered to approach you'd know he is really called Nettlepaw, and that he'd only fight you out of self-defense. Second, though he has decided not to join us, you are to allow him into the alley at any time and tend to his ever need as he asks. You will not question him, as you won't me, because I will know, and then you will be punished." Her eyes shifted to Shadow, one of the alley cats. "And just to show you that I haven't lost my edge..." as quick as a snake, she made her way down to the ground and rushed at Shadow. Before anyone knew it, her claws sliced up his belly, leaving him cut open, dying on the ground.

"This meeting is dismissed."

The Alley Cats scrambled away from her, refusing to make eye contact with Ice. She spun around to look at Nettlepaw who looked quite uncomfortable where he stood.

"What's wrong?" she asked with a fake sweetness to her tone.

"Nothing," he answered quickly, both fear and affection splitting his voice in half. "I mean, we're together, aren't we?"

She grinned. "Yes. We are."

I know this chapter was a little off in some parts, like when she's telling her story and explaining her feelings, and I know that it's kinda sad that she refuses to be his mate but refer to Nettlepaw's line: "We're together, aren't we?"

Review!

~Destiny