Thank you so very much to Luke777, sghope16, and CJstoriesandobsessions for reviewing, your thoughts, and your encouragement. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was one of my favorites to write.

I guess I'm going to pull a Stephanie Meyer and tell you that I was listening to a certain song pretty much the whole time I was writing this story: Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine. It seems to fit the mood I was trying to evoke. Enjoy!

Chapter 6

I don't really know how I ended up in the park, or how long I was there. The next moment after leaving the basement that my brain captured was of Ian walking towards me, the sun setting as he came to sit beside me.

"You've caused quite the panic in the mansion, you know, with your disappearance act." He has a gentle smile, and I know he is not mad at me even though he should be. I look up at him, my heart heavy. I don't have a smile to return and instead turn away.

Ian sighs heavily. He follows my gaze to the children who are still playing in the coming twilight.

"So innocent, aren't they?" he asked. He's not one to make small talk, and I know he is only trying to make me feel better.

"If only they knew, huh?" I replied. My voice sounds foreign to me.

Ian looks over at me again. His face is sympathetic, caring even. "I read the letter open on your desk. I figured I knew where you might go if you wanted to write back and found the open boxes in the basement. I…I'm sorry, Mrs. Snow."

I nod numbly. "She was too young to die."

"Yes, yes she was."

We sit in silence for a long time. The sun continues to go down and the children all go home. It is just the two of us out here now. Usually Ian would be pushing me to get home, to "safety", but tonight he says nothing. We watch the stars as they come out. It's a beautiful, clear night with a warm breeze.

"Where are you from, Mr. Sunderling?"

"I'm from the Capitol, Mrs. Snow."

"No, I mean…before. Before you were a Peacekeeper. Where were you from?"

He doesn't like the question, I can tell that. He's never once talked about anything from the past, but he doesn't object. After a long pause and a deep sigh, he speaks.

"I'm originally from District 4."

A small smile creases my lips. "Same as Finnick Odair. I wouldn't have guessed."

"Yes, well, Mr. Odair and I are a little different." Ian smiles in return, looking at his hands. "And I am quite a bit older than him."

"Did you live by the ocean?" I stare into his eyes, the dark green catching a bit of the light from a nearby street lamp and dancing lightly. They are not sea-green like most from District 4, but no less beautiful.

"Yes, we lived very close. My dad was a fisherman, like most others in the district."

"Is it wonderful? The ocean?"

Ian is looking into the distance, smiling as the memories come racing back. "Yes, it's as wonderful as you have heard. Waves crash against sandy beaches where you can walk barefoot for miles. The water is clear all the way to the bottom and a blue green that can't even be put into words."

"When did you last see it?"

His smile fades and he starts to shift uncomfortably. "When I was eight. That's when my parents died and I was shipped off to an orphanage."

Sadness fills me for him. "Oh, I'm so sorry," I said, my face falling. "How did they die?"

"Pneumonia."

I think of all the medicine we have to treat pneumonia here in the Capitol. I start to ask him about it, but I understand now that the medicine would never be readily available to the districts. And even if it was, it would probably be too expensive for a commoner to buy it.

"I'm sorry," I said again, knowing my words would never do anything to help heal the wounds.

Ian shrugs. "It was a long time ago."

"How did you become a Peacekeeper?"

"It was decided in the orphanage. Easiest way to get rid of me, I guess."

"And you were sent to the Capitol after that?"

"I spent some time in District 6 before being shipped here."

He won't look at me. I wonder if I pushed him too far, asked him too much, but I am so happy that he shared bits of his life with me. All those times I felt alone, I now understood that he had felt the same way.

"Thank you for sharing," I said, hoping he can feel the honesty in my voice, but he only nods and continues to stare into the distance.

"Our stories are not all that different, I guess," I continued, just wanting to fill the silence.

"Oh, trust me, our stories are very, very different, Mrs. Snow," Ian laughs. "I am not the man you think I am. And you…you are the wife of the President. Our lives have always been on different paths."

"And yet here we are…sitting together on a park bench."

Ian cocks his head to the side, thinking, before laughing again. "I guess you have me there."

Clouds slowly cross over the moon, and a soft wind blows my hair across my face. I hadn't even fixed it this morning, and it hangs in wavy strands down my back. I push a few locks behind my ears.

"Why did Coriolanus kill my family?" I asked softly.

"I thought you might ask me this one day," Ian smiles grimly before turning his attention to his hands. "Your husband likes to have complete control. As long as you had your family to run back to, he couldn't efficiently control you." Ian's voice is monotonous, no emotion running through it.

"So…they were just in the way to him, huh?" It's something I had always guessed but never allowed myself to dwell on.

Ian nods slowly.

I look up at the night sky, the hot tears slowly sliding down my face. "I've been so stupid."

"No, you can't believe that," Ian said quickly, turning his whole body to face me. "You are not stupid."

"How am I not? I'm married to a monster, and yet I have defended him for all these years. I could have done something to stop him..."

"You did what you needed to do to survive."

"I did what I needed to do? You make it sound like I'm heroic," I laugh, wiping the tears away. "No, it was not about surviving. It was about denial. And fear."

"You are stronger than you give yourself credit for," Ian said.

I shake my head, giving him a small smile. "I am not the woman you think I am," I replied, reiterating his words from earlier.

"You are every bit the woman I think you are." The words seem to escape before he can control them, and Ian turns away, his face a bright red even in the darkness.

There is a long pause, and though several thoughts flash across my mind, I do not allow them to take hold. I simply can't. I am a married woman, and Ian is my bodyguard. Nothing more. He is obviously ashamed he even allowed such a slip of the tongue, and we both know it's best to ignore it.

"You think I should join the rebellion," I said.

"I don't care one way or the other. I only care about keeping you safe." His voice is soft.

"Then why did you arrange the meeting with Plutarch and Finnick?"

"Plutarch came to me and asked me where you hide out sometimes. He only told me that he and Finnick had some things to talk to you about."

"You trust him, then," I said.

Ian glanced over at me. "Mr. Heavensbee? Why do you say that?"

"Because you let him come to meet me in a dark room without knowing what he wanted. Or else," I chuckle, "your skills as my personal guard have severely diminished."

He smiles, thank goodness, seeing the joke for what it is. "I don't know if I trust Plutarch."

"Then why?"

"I trust Finnick."

I can't believe what I have just heard. I furrow my brow and frown. "Finnick? Really?"

Ian shrugs. "He's a good guy."

"You can't honestly believe what he said that day…" I start to say, but the look on Ian's face tells me that he does. I lean back thoughtfully. I don't trust Finnick, but I do trust Ian, so perhaps I should give Mr. Odair another chance.

"Ok, fair enough," I nod my head. "So, in your honest opinion, what is the best way to keep me safe?"

Ian laughs, running his hands through his hair. "That is a very good question."

"It sort of seems like die here as loyal to Coriolanus or die as a rebel trying to take him down," I sigh, my shoulders suddenly feeling very heavy. "Sounds to me like it can't be about staying safe."

Ian is looking at me, his head cradled in his hands, a thoughtful expression on his face. He knows I have made up my mind.

"It can't be about me anymore. I've been selfish for too long. It has to start being about all the people of Panem, like it should have been all along. I can't sit here and do nothing anymore." I said, my voice firm but apologetic. "I understand if you resign your position tomorrow morning."

I wish it could be different, but this is not a decision that affects only me. If I am ever found out, Ian would die also, and most likely suffer a harsher death. As a Peacekeeper, he has sworn an allegiance to the President…not to me.

"My job is to protect you, Mrs. Snow, and that is what I will continue to do."

His voice is unwavering, his face is calm, his eyes are determined. He is just as ready as I am. And although I am still frightened by this new direction, I feel much better knowing that Ian is by my side.

"Well then," I said with a slight smile, rising slowly to my feet, "I guess I will see you tomorrow."