Thank you everyone for your reviews! Soon enough we'll be at the climax of the story. But don't worry, we still have up to five to seven chapters before all of that happens. This chapter I got a little lazy with so I know it's confusing and rushed and needs to be revised. Sorry!

Oh, and my good friend, Nightstorm is going to do the disclaimers from now on. I think it sounds kind of weird coming from myself.

Nightstorm: Born of True Destiny does not own Warriors.

Chapter Forty-One

Since their argument, Ice as not seen Nettlepaw.

She guessed he must have been at his oak tree, trying to think things through. Maybe he was wondering what to say to her when he returned. Maybe he was wondering if he should speak at all.

Why couldn't he just understand? He felt the pain she had, when his family treated him like he was weak and useless and didn't matter compared to anything else. They knew how each other felt back then. Why should now be any different? Perhaps he couldn't see through her eyes because he had run away from his problems before they even were able to scar him. Ice had made a mistake waiting for the agony to come crashing down. Now thinking about it, was it her fault they could no longer see eye to eye?

She looked on glumly. And it hurt even more knowing that she no longer loved him.

Now she continuously gazed out at the alleyway entrance, searching for any sign of shining amber eyes peering from thick gray fur.

"C-commander Ice?"

Ice turned her head to look at Pine who stood uncomfortably before her. "Yes?" Her on-edge voice made the orange-golden kit flinch back. "W-what is it?"

"Did I perform the move right?" he asked.

"Erm..." she muttered. "I wasn't paying attention. Show me again!"

He dipped his head and got into a starting position. With a brief wave of his tail, Pine leaped and sunk his claws into an invisible enemy. Hind legs raked an imaginary flank while his front paws took him around so he could throw a strong blow to the opponents head. The force of his paw carried him forward to pin down the enemy.

Ice nodded. Pine had been improving on his battle skills, but he still had a fearful attitude. "Looks pretty good, though don't get too comfortable with sticking the landing. Remember, there will be a cat there and you have to keep a sharp eye out for where it will be positioned.

Pine bowed his head respectively. "Ye-yes, Commander I-ice."

"Are you cold?" she asked, growling.

"What?" Pine said. "No."

"Than why are you stuttering?"

"Well...I..."

"Are you scared."

"Uh..."

"Are you a coward?"

He backed away. "No! I can be brave!"

"Prove it," she snarled. "Fight me."

Pine blinked at her, surprised. He looked as if he didn't believe her. He couldn't believe her. There was no way that she would make a small kit in training fight a big, mean scary cat right? "Commander Ice...please...don't make me."

She stared at him for a while. His shivering body, his fearful eyes. Something inside her broke. She slumped down on the ground. "I'm sorry, Pine. I never thought I'd say those words again, but I'm sorry."

"Commander Ice...are you crying?"

It took a moment to realize that she was. Ice closed her damp eyes and lowered her head to the ground between her paws. Pine inched closer, like he didn't no whether or not to comfort her or just walk away.

"Commander Ice, don't be sad. Why are you sad? You're big and strong! You could kill any cat here! Did one of them hurt you? I thought no one could hurt you!"

"I am not sad, Pine," she said through sobs. "I am afraid."

"Afraid?" Pine exclaimed, surprised at her words. "But...but you're Commander Ice! You've killed all cats that challenged you! You took over this alleyway and made it stronger than it ever was before! You're afraid...but everyone's afraid of you!"

"I know," Ice said and she raised her head and looked Pine deep in the eye. "But I'm afraid of myself as well."

He was bowed down before her so they were equal in height. "Commander Ice, you're strong. You'll be able to get through fear. Why are you scared?"

"I wish I knew. Maybe I'll see it when someone shows me," she murmured. "Pine, you have really improved in your battle skills. I know that I can sometimes be brutal, but remember this now: no matter what, even if I deny it in the future, know that I am only cruel because I need to hurt others to make myself feel better. I realized that it is not because I just want to, it is because I have to, or I'll completely lose my sanity."

Pine didn't look like he fully understood, but he nodded. "Okay, Commander Ice. Whatever you say."

"Go find you mother," Ice said. "And eat. You deserve a big meal."

The kit looked at her for a while before nodding. "Yes, Commander Ice. Do you think you'll find out why you are afraid?"

"Maybe," she said. "Run along."

Pine got up and bounded away, looking for Flower.

She sat up. What was wrong with her? There was something inside that made her find friendship within a tiny, cowardly kit.

Or maybe the bravest of them all, she thought, remembering how he spoke to her. He still called her by her title. He still obeyed her, but he now talked to her like a friend without any fear. No one did that. Not even Bolt, her second in command.

What was it though, that caused all of this? Even more pain than she would ever realize would come to her. Once she figured it out, she would destroy it, so she could continue on with her life. She didn't know how many times she had to say it in her head, but there was no way she would turn back to her old life. At least now, she had no guilt.

"Are you okay?"

She spun around and her muzzle ended up a mouse tail-length from his own. "Fox dung," she whispered retreating back a few steps. "Nettlepaw, what's the matter with you?"

The dark gray tom just blinked. "That doesn't look like the question. What's the matter with you? It looks like...whatever you get upset about."

"Let's not discus that yet," Ice said. "What do you think you're doing, disappearing for days and then turning back up here like there's nothing to it?"

"So what I'm hearing is that you missed me," he teased.

Now she was just getting furious. "Yeah, sure. You know what, back to your question." He smiled with satisfaction. "What do you want to know?"

"Okay," he sat down, putting his weight on a single paw. "I wanna know what's going in with you. Since we met back up again, you've been acting like something huge has been dragging you down. I know that's not how it used to be; I've talked to the cats here. What are you sad about?"

"First of all...how inconsiderate of you to yell at me a few sunrises ago and then come back here and forget about it, and second...I really don't want to talk about it for the second time today."

"So this has to do with killing that cat," Nettlepaw inquired.

"Well...maybe," Ice replied. "But honestly, I just talked to someone else about this, and I really don't want to do it again."

"Not even with me?"

"Not even with you."

"Okay," he said. "Fine. Hey, why don't we change the subject then? Slither was afraid to ask you herself-"

"Slither?" Ice asked. "She was afraid to ask me? That's a lie. That stubborn she-cat would throw herself in front of a monster before she admits to be frightened by me."

Nettlepaw's smug look disappeared. "Ice...come on. Tell me what's wrong...I-I'm so worried for you."

"I don't know," she said. "Something here is just...wrong."

Nettlepaw's eyes dimmed. "Maybe I know."

Ice scrambled closer to him, the fur on the back of her neck suddenly bristling. "What is it?" she demanded desperately. "Tell now!"

"I have to know how you'll react when I tell you," Nettlepaw said firmly. Then ignoring the venomous glare from Ice he added, "Ice, you know very well how unpredictable you are."

She felt tears at the corners of her eyes again. Closing them she whispered. "I know that I'm impulsive and it's hard to control myself. Oh, Nettlepaw, you've made that so clear. But that's when I still have the little regulation inside me that I really do have restraint on. Can you imagine how dangerous I'll be when I lose that part of myself? I'll be hurting myself as well as others."

"Oh, Ice, I know how you got into this fight with yourself. Just promise me that you'll stay where you are and hold my gaze."

She opened her eyes again, allowing the tears to fall, but she looked straight into the amber gaze of her companion.

"This isn't enough for you," he began. "Just hurting others away from where all that pain came from. You are the bravest cat I have ever met, but please don't deny me when I say that all along you have been running from it all along. This murderous attitude isn't a fight with your sanity, Ice." He paused and winced as he saw how much agony she held in her eyes. "It is a race."

She tried to speak but he silenced with. "When you met me again, you remembered the burden that you have carried on your shoulders all this time. I said that this evil was an escape from the guilt of killing your brother." She gasped when she saw where it was headed. "But really you were just ignoring it. That guilt is still trying to poke its way back before your gaze."

"But you don't understand," Ice hissed. "I can't fight that when it's in front of me. It grows too large; it reminds me again and again of what I've done and the more I see it the more it hurts."

But then it came together for her.

It was her future self that changed her into who she was, the guilt. Why would she want to be her own enemy and cause herself pain? That fiendish white cat was all along trying to save her from this pain. She saw it all coming.

She knew what was best for herself.

That white cat had wanted to get revenge on the Clans for causing her so much heartache. Ice now understood. She wouldn't have lived with the guilt and the pain if she hadn't killed Lionfire.

And she wouldn't have killed Lionfire if her Clanmates just had a little faith.

It was their fault. Not hers. And not his.

If they had seen what she they had done...oh, she couldn't even finish the thought.

"Ice..."

"What?" she snapped bitterly.

"You broke your promise."

Ice didn't understand what he was talking about until she realized she was staring at her paws and not into his eyes. With a furious breath, she cuffed Nettlepaw over the ear and ran to climb up onto her ledge where she curled up, and rain joined her tears as they fell from her face.

I know, not my best chapter. :( But please review anyway!

~Destiny