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Chapter 7

At first, I didn't think I could really be of much use to the rebels. But as the mission became clearer, I knew why they needed me. I was the only person who had access, besides my husband, to all parts of the mansion with no questions asked. There wasn't much going on inside its walls that I didn't know about or couldn't find out about it with a little digging.

Everything was sent through Plutarch to make it harder to trace back to me. Although I still don't know how to feel about him personally, he's been reliable as a source of information so far. Despite never wanting to return to the forgotten room in the back of the library, it's the only safe place in the Capitol for us now, so we meet there at least once a week.

Time is passing quicker now. Although I understood that what I was doing was very dangerous, it made me feel more alive than I had in nearly 20 years. I had a purpose, something worth believing in. Before I knew it, the reunion tour was finishing and Katniss and Peeta were back in the Capitol. And I was face to face with the ones who had started all of this.

"Congratulations." My voice seems shaky. Am I…nervous? Yes, I am nervous, although I don't know why. I am the wife of the President of Panem, and yet I am nervous to meet two teenagers. They both smile politely and shake my hand.

"Thank you. We are very excited," Peeta answered, his grin spreading across his whole face. He seems honest.

"When will the wedding be?"

"We just got engaged, we haven't really had a chance to discuss wedding plans," Katniss answered quickly. Her smile is forced, her politeness with a sharp edge. She doesn't like me.

"Yes, of course." My smile seems weak, and I understand why she doesn't like me. It's because she has no reason to. She believes me to be one of them. I am the wife of the man who is holding her in this star-crossed lovers act on the belief it will quell the growing rebellion. I wish I can tell her the truth, but there is no way. Not now, maybe not ever.

"It's a pleasure to finally get to meet you. They show you all the time on the television, and you are even more beautiful in person," Peeta said, still smiling, still holding tightly onto Katniss' hand. She gives him a look out of the corner of her eye.

I laugh. "Well, my stylists do a great job. I don't look like this in real life."

"Yeah, well, our stylists do a pretty good job on us, too," Peeta laughed as well.

There are many other people at the party who are clamoring to talk to the victors of the most recent Hunger Games. I can see them staring at me jealously as I talk to them by myself.

"How is District 12?"

"It's nice…" Peeta started.

"It's the same," Katniss interrupted.

"The same? Haven't you moved into the Victor's Village? I've heard how wonderful those houses are."

"You asked how District 12 is," Katniss said, her voice steady, her eyes staring into mine. "and it is the same. Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change."

I glance around at all the onlookers to our conversation, all the cameras recording and photographing every step of mine and the two winners. I smile calmly, knowing it will make an enemy of the symbol of the rebellion but possibly save the rebellion itself. "Well, of course. The Capitol is so gracious to its districts. Why would you possibly want anything to change?"

"Dance with me, Mr. Sunderling."

Ian looks over at me, his eyebrows raised. He shakes his head and silently mouths the word no before returning to his nightly duty of checking over my bedroom, bathroom, and closets for anybody or anything suspicious. The rumors of how badly the President wants to dispose of me have resurfaced, and Ian has become even more cautious in the last few weeks.

The party finally dwindled after nearly five hours, but I think it only moved onto the streets. Although it's shortly after 3 am, the sounds of thousands of people outside the mansion drinking and dancing filters up to my room.

"Everything's clear," Ian said curtly. He looks tired, the bags under his eyes heavy. "Good night, Mrs. Snow."

"Don't call me that," I replied harshly. Probably too harshly. I guess I am tired too. I get up from the chair where Valeria has been helping me out of my shoes. My head starts to swim and I stumble sideways, almost losing my balance. Valeria helps balance me and starts taking the pins down from my hair. It falls down my back in waves.

Ian nods, staring at me. "Then good night, Analeigh."

"Ian, please dance with me."

He has already made it halfway to the door. "You know I can't do that." His back is stiff. I can see his muscles flex under the tuxedo jacket.

"Valeria thinks you should dance with me."

Valeria smiles so brightly it lights up her whole face. Ian turns slowly, and she nods eagerly, but Ian's face is stern and cold.

"I think you have had too much to drink tonight, Mrs. Sn…Analeigh. You should get your rest."

He's right, I did have a lot to drink tonight. After the incident with Peeta and Katniss, I just hated myself so much and wanted to forget about it. So I had a few glasses of wine. But there is nothing wrong with that. Who's not entitled to a bit of wine every now and then?

"Please," I continued, walking towards him, feeling dizzy with my own steps, "nobody has danced with me in so very long."

I'm so close I can feel his breath on my cheek. He looks down at me and turns up his nose. "You wreak of alcohol." He grabs hold of my shoulders and I lean in with a slight smile, thinking I am getting my way, but he is only steadying me as I lose my balance again. "Please get her to bed soon," he asks Valeria before turning to leave again.

"They hate me, you know."

Ian sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping as he turns to face me for the third time. He is annoyed with me. "Who hates you?"

"Peeta and Katniss. They hate me."

"They're teenagers. They'll get over it."

"No! No they won't." My speech is slurred even to me. "They will never forgive me. Not for tonight. Not for anything." There are tears in my eyes that I haven't even noticed. I wipe them away clumsily.

Ian's eyes soften. "They will."

Valeria comes up behind me and gently puts her hands on my upper arms. I let her lead me to the bed and I sit down. Fatigue from the night and the drinking finally sets in. I barely notice Ian leave, and soon Valeria has helped me out of my dress and into my silk pajamas. She pulls back the covers and I slide in gratefully. Before Valeria can reach the door and turn out the light, I am asleep.