Woah! You guys thought this story was long gone huh? Welp, so did I... But I have taken a few English and writing classes so Hopefully my words and grammar has changed slightly. And, yeah! I shall get back in the groove since I remembered what the hell Ima do with this sucker! So sit down grab some ramen and tea and enjoy! And and don't forget to give me some lovin with reviews!
~BINGO!
How did this happen? I asked myself as I sat on my couch while Isane and Hisagi roamed around my place searching and going through everything defining what is mine and what is Yoruichi's. After awhile of them making a pile of Yoruichi's belongings, I soon completely forgot about Yoruichi and her moving out. I was now fixated on Harribel. She has super glued herself to my brain and there is nothing that can get rid of her.
I felt bad for leaving the way I did, so very rude and really no thank you for the wonderful night, no thank you for feeding me, taking me to her home, giving me clothes and a place to sleep. And thank you for listening and caring. And a sorry for not remembering things after the kiss on the dance floor. I'm now afraid to call her or make any communications with her, for she might be mad and turn me down or ignore me. I wouldn't blame her.
Hisagi soon brought me out of my little daze and was soon brought back into reality. "Soi, what do you want us to do with Yoruichi's stuff?" he asked pointing to a small pile. It was mostly purple and girly things in a small pile on my table.
I just shrugged not really giving a shit. "If it's not too much of a hassle, just go to a good will instead of just wasting it by throwing it away. And I don't want to deal with her or have any of you feel obligated to deal with her." I smiled as Isane and Hisagi nodded proud of my answer.
Hisagi went to grab a trash bag to haul the objects down to his car. Once he left Isane sat down next to me at the table wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "You are very strong and brave person Soi. And even I look up to you for your bravery for standing up for what you actually want. I am also proud that you delt with things pretty well. I'm also glad that Harribel didn't end up being a mass murderer and kidnap and kill you." She sighed showing her relieved.
"actually, Harribel has showed me something that made me act as I did to Yoruichi." I looked down at my wounded hand which might I add no longer has a stinging feel and as I unwrapped it earlier, it was just about healed.
"what did she show you?" Isane interrupted my thought as I tried to go back to what I was saying.
"she showed me how to live. She showed true care and trust. She showed me the difference in how Yoruichi 'cared' about me and how you even care about me. Also I realized that I can really go to you or Hisagi with anything and feel safe with you guys. But Yoruichi always made me feel worthless and pathetic when I went to her for things. She treated me as if I was a child."
I felt anger as I compared my friends to my ex lover. "you know, I treat you like a child." Isane noted as I looked up at her. She was smiling with true care. "I treat you like a child because you act like a brat sometimes. But I don't put you down. I may kick your ass and nag. But I would never put you down or make you feel worthless in anyway. I just want to protect you from people like Yoruichi." She then suddenly hugged me tightly. "I want you to be happy. I worry about you all the time. You are such a strong person Soi, but you do have your weaknesses. I just want you to be safe and happy."
Isane's voice choked for a second then she broke the hug clearing her throat looking away guilty. I couldn't help but smile and hug her back. "you were always like an older sister I never had." I hugged her tight as I placed my forehead against her shoulder. We hugged for awhile in silence until the door opened the Hisagi walked in as if he just accomplished something huge.
He stood in the middle of the living room and looked around my place. "you know, it actually looks a lot cleaner and more Soi if you as me." He nodded as if he just given the house his stamp of approval. "so who wants pizza?" he asked as Isane jumped up running to his side. Before they left I stopped them.
"don't worry about drinks, it's about time we start to use my alcohol reserve." Which then got a laugh out of both of them as they left to go get pizza. As my friends went to get pizza, I was left to wonder around my house to realize that Yoruichi is no longer apart of my life or my house. I was somewhat refreshing, but also a little hard. We have been together for 4 years, and to suddenly cut cold turkey like this. It kinda does sting and make me wonder, is this really ok?
But then I was suddenly reminded why I did what I did. Those 4 years, were 4 years of unhappiness. Sure I was in love with Yoruichi, I enjoyed being around her and we got along. But then when things got serious, we didn't truly know one another. We couldn't have real serious conversations without one of us getting defensive. And I know more about Harribel (which isn't a lot) than I do with Yoruichi. And 4 years and just a few hours is a really big difference for knowing someone.
Same goes with sharing, Harribel knows more about me than Yoruichi dares to even ask or even wonder to know about me. I guess that's the thing, Yoruichi isn't attracted to the mental or emtions of a person, but of physical traits. Things just piled on against Yoruichi which made me want to just puke. And I in the end, fell for such a disgusting thing.
For a good 30 minutes I walked around my house thinking through all the memories I had with Yoruichi, and how each one just made me hate her that much more and hate myself for being a dumbass. After I thought I was going to start going crazy, Isane and Hisagi showed up to the rescue with pizza. They didn't find me in the kitchen as they arrived so they already started working on the alcoholic drinks. After dinner was all said and done. I had almost a case of pizza, finished 2 vodka bottles between me and Hisagi. Isane just watched for she had to take Hisagi home.
He wanted to stay with me so I wouldn't be alone. Man that fucker always worried about me. He is worse than a mother. Always nagging and worrying, blah blah blah. As they soon left as it was past midnight, I somehow found my way to my bed. It was very nice and cold and with just taking off all my clothes too lazy to put any pajamas on, I just passed out in my bed. And for the first night, in years, I didn't have that horrid dream with the beast or my family. It was the best sleep I had. I woke up to my alarm going off still having to open the dojo today.
Once I sat up realizing I didn't have that dream, I soon started to cry. It's a good thing I didn't have that dream, but I couldn't figure out why it suddenly stopped? Was Yoruichi that bad in my life that her presence gave me nightmares? I hit myself realizing what I was saying was a load of shit. Sure I was mad and upset with Yoruichi, but I am not going to blame her for my stupid nightmares.
I sighed getting out of bed getting dressed for work. Of course it only consisted of a sports bra, tanktop, and shorts. It soon turned into my normal routine going to work dealing with my friends and normal customers. The only thing was different was coming home to my empty house and just chilling by myself. But to my relief it was actually somehow calming and a bit of peace. I found comfort in my quiet empty house.
A week had passed And no sign or word from Yoruichi. Maybe it had to deal with me throwing it and crushing it to pieces. I wanted to be alone, and if anyone truly needed me. They knew where I lived. Isane and Hisagi visited me everyday after work and we just hung out like we used to along time ago before Yoruichi moved in with me. Some nights they stayed the night over. We were like true friends again doing whatever the fuck we want now.
Then one night Isane brought up something that was once not on my mind. "So, have you heard anything from that Harribel girl?" she asked as Hisagi was into playing some weird shooting game. Me and Isane were in the kitchen finding some food to eat.
I looked down at the fridge frozen. "No." was all I said grabbing the cheese from the fridge door.
"why not? You seemed to have a lot of fun with her." Isane was confused, but it just made me feel uncomfortable.
"I don't want to talk about it." I sighed heating the bread up in a pan.
Isane came up behind me. "Did something happen?" she asked gently placing her hand on my shoulder which sent a wave of calmness through my body.
I sighed feeling defeated as I always do with Isane. "you know, I was an ass how I pretty much left without saying sorry, or thank you for being so nice. Plus I can't call her since I no longer have a phone and I lost her number. I don't remember the address and she doesn't come to the dojo. It seems like it's just a lost cause." I sighed watching the bread cook as I slowly put some cheese to make the grilled cheese.
Isane was quiet as she leaned her head around looking at my saddened face. I have been thinking about Harribel nonstop and can do nothing to get her out of my head. Even when I do for a split second, Isane goes and brings it all up again. Making me feel like shit yet again. "well, maybe she was just the one person who had to get you on your feet and start being open again." Isane suggested as I tried to consider the idea.
Was Harribel really only the one to show me to be free and have fun? Was I really not meant to be with her? Not even as a friend? How can you guys be friends when you made out with each other and almost did it. And also find her sexually attractive? My inner voice nagged. I finally gave up talking to myself and looked over at Isane. "I guess you right." I smiled as I finished making the grilled cheese sandwiches for the three of us.
As Isane and Hisagi started playing while eating from time to time I decided to get a breather. "im going for a walk. Be back later." With a wave from Hisagi I walked outside to be welcomed by the nice cool breeze of the night. Maybe this can help me clear my head and just be suck up by the wonderful peace of the moon and clear sky.
The moon had shined so bright, as if it lit everything up and shone down on everything being covered by the blanket the moon had thrown ontop of the town. The street light and cars had disturbed the beautiful light welcoming light the moon was giving to everyone. It was sad to see that everyone just disregarded it as if it did nothing and treat it like trash. Soon it clicked as I just compared myself to the moon. How I did everything for Yoruichi, and all in return I got was just being ignored and thrown away like trash. So I kept changing trying to be big, but each time, I was down graded then slowly trying to disappear each night away from the sky and show the world that I really do matter during the night.
Wow, you are the moon. I guess that means your all high and mighty now. My inner voice was laughing at me, mocking me. Wow, I'm such an asshole to myself. I came to a stop at a park which was completely deserted, or so I thought as I entered the park.