Whoops! I actually forgot to update this! Man, I really need to be reminded sometimes, it's a good thing someone on tumblr asked me when the update was happening. Here's the next chapter!
Carbon Monoxide
A toxic gas, odorless and colorless, that is produced when substances are incompletely burned.
When Natsu arrived at Lucy's home the following day, looking both cross and happy, she had a feeling they were going to be in for an interesting evening. He stood tall and casual, a pack of toiletries and a change of clothes slung over his tattooed shoulder. Hands were jammed in his pockets by his sides and he was staring at the manicured flower boxes hanging from her neighbor's window with an odd expression of disgust.
For all intents and purposes, this was part of their 'cover.'
Natsu would be staying at her place tonight, playing the role of a dutiful boyfriend who would be staying at his girlfriend's place. In reality they would be getting him ready for the plan to trap Jackal with his own ego.
Lucy was struck by the intimidating picture Natsu made as always. Wild pink hair, spiked into disarray fell over dark eyes. They were framed by even darker, long lashes. His head was turned, giving view to the industrial piercing through his left ear. The fiery tattoos skating along his throat jumped when he swallowed, making it look as if the flames were dancing.
As usual he donned cargo pants and a tank top. Untied combat boots hung open, but he didn't seem to care as his eyes caught Lucy's.
Then he smiled at her, and her heart did a backflip so hard Lucy thought it might have fled into her spleen for refuge.
Everything about this man should have been illegal.
However as striking as he was, it wasn't the look the police wanted to show to snag a response out of Jackal. Which was why Natsu was here.
And to borrow Lucy's shower of course.
Maintaining her cover, she stood up on her toes, reaching out to him and tugging his head down to peck his cheek. Lucy did not miss the way his adam's apple bobbed, swallowing hard at the feel of her lips pressing against his jawline.
"C'mon in," Lucy grinned at him, pulling away just enough to guide him into her apartment. He stepped into the cool interior, his pack slung over his shoulders as Lucy closed and locked the door behind him.
His eyes seemed to be appraising her home again. Which Lucy thought was strange since he had been here plenty of times before. It was as if his gaze were sweeping over the clean lines and truly looking at them for the first time.
She didn't know what was up, but something seemed to be eating at him. Not wanting to bring it up unless it became an issue, she dropped a hand on the back of his arm, feeling the muscles tense under her hand and then relax.
"We got the clothes ready for you," Lucy walked up the stairs with him. Up three floors in the winding corridors. The home was a bit on the lavish side, with a guest room on the second floor, where Natsu would be staying tonight and her room on the third floor. The bottom floor was mostly a seating area and the kitchen.
While the second floor did have a bathroom of its own, Lucy did not actually invest the time in cleaning it before Natsu arrived, so again she was going to have to relinquish her shower to him.
"You can go ahead and get clean in my room," Lucy huffed up the stairs and turned into her room, "You have the phone Gray gave you?"
The dull grunt she received was affirmative enough. Her intuition struck, and she wondered if Gray had said anything to put Natsu in a foul mood. Probably, her gut confirmed.
Whatever was between those two was enough to set either of them off on a good day. Much less one that would be filled with stress.
Natsu looked like the odd man out standing in her room. Clean white carpet and pristine walls, rich dark furniture and the couch she and Natsu often liked to fall asleep on. The couch Happy was currently hiding under, his blue tail swishing through the carpet.
"Thanks," He grinned, his expression seeming to brighten at the thought of a fresh shower. He crossed the room without another word, Happy darting off after Natsu's feet and following him into the bathroom. The door swung close with a quiet snap and Lucy laughed.
It seemed like Natsu didn't want to meet Jackal smelling like her feminine shampoo again.
She got up while he was occupied. She cleaned the downstairs bathroom, made the bed in the room Natsu would be staying in, and fussed around her house. They still had time until Erza arrived with the motorcycle Natsu would be using.
Lucy supposed she could have lent Natsu her car, but Natsu insisted on the bike.
Apparently, while the police wanted to dress Natsu up, he still had to look convincing enough like he wasn't operating under the commands of the police. And there would be no way Natsu, fresh off the streets, would drive something like Lucy's car.
Speaking of which. She heard the shower running hot through the pipes, and figuring that he was almost done, she went outside to grab his pressed suit from the car. She folded it over her arm and jogged back inside, twisting around the stairs back to her room.
No matter how many times she tried to distract herself with menial tasks though, the concern she had for this whole plan was astounding. No wires, no taps. Jackal would have measures against it.
Natsu insisted on going in there alone and blind. Two facts Lucy was not okay with. They had been partners in this for so long, the idea of Natsu doing it solo bugged her.
She hated to admit that maybe the 'fake girlfriend' thing had gotten to her.
"Natsu, I don't like this plan. You're moving out of a place we can protect you," Lucy huffed at the bathroom door where she heard Natsu banging around in her shower. Really, did he have to move around like he was trying to break dance in there?
"Of course you don't like it," Natsu's cheerful voice rang out over the steady stream of water. She watched a billow of steam seep out from under the door.
"You just want to go to the party too!" He called, the timber of his voice carrying through the tile and the closed door.
"Hardly," Lucy shot back. She didn't have to worry about Natsu hearing her or not, the man seemed to have picked up the senses of a bloodhound somewhere along the way. He could pick up smells and sounds better than anyone she knew.
She wondered if those were skills he picked up before or after prison.
Minutes ticked by, Natsu's distracted humming rang loud in the shower. Impatience got the better of Lucy so she took to laying out the clothes picked out for Natsu by Lucy, under the steady eye of Erza. For whatever reason, the redhead had jumped on the opportunity to find something for Natsu.
Lucy suspected she liked to play dress up, and would do so for anyone at any given opportunity.
She just hoped Natsu liked it.
...If he ever came out of the shower.
What was he doing in there, swimming?
It was strange to think of how often Natsu had taken to showering at her place. Although she supposed he had an excuse in this case as he was now under police supervision during his undercover operation. So her shower was sacrificed to Natsu.
Not that she was complaining. Especially not with his tendency to walk around damp and shirtless with either a loose towel or baggy sweat pants hung low on his hips. It was hard not to stare at the pink trail that disappeared beneath his waistband in those moments.
Even harder was trying not to imagine what was underneath it.
A flush of heat darted across her cheeks and flowed down her back, filling her lungs with the taste of cinnamon, smoke, and mint toothpaste.
The memory of corded muscle and trim hips sprang to her mind. Powerful thighs mantled over hers, his strong chest sliding against her flushed skin and pushing into her breasts. She imagined the sharp skating of his teeth across her stomach and his clever mouth brushing kisses into the sensitive skin.
The memory of Natsu, naked and crouched over her, that dark look in his eyes which promised her a good time. The hesitation but desire she saw clear on his face had made her bold, pulling his towel away so she could see what she had been imagining with greedy eyes.
What she had almost-
Lucy crossed her legs tightly as she cut that thought off before it could finish forming. Her pencil skirt suddenly feeling much too narrow and constraining around her thighs, heat warming her limbs and settling into her lower stomach.
A steady burn hummed in her belly and she clenched her legs together, a shuddering breath coming from her. A familiar ache began to make itself known, a distracting sense of emptiness just itching to be filled pulsing through her body.
The sigh of delight escaped Lucy before she could subdue it.
One she choked on when Natsu flung the door to the bathroom open and marched out in his sweatpants. It looked like he finally remembered to bring underwear into the restroom with him.
"Man, that was great!" Natsu stretched out, rubbing a towel through his wet hair and making it stick up in a disarray.
Seeing Lucy just sitting at the bed and gawking at him, he gave her a curious look and drew in closer. Which was fine.
It was totally fine.
It wasn't like he was half naked or anything.
Sometimes she wondered if Natsu even knew what the word 'modesty' meant. If he had it at one point, whatever scraps of it were long since gone now.
"What's the matter?" He asked, picking up on the odd expression on Lucy's face. He slid down next to her, his weight causing the mattress to dip down under his additional weight and causing Lucy to bounce a bit. Pink hair shook, scattering droplets of water on her white blouse.
Sighing, she fought for patience and counted backwards from ten. She had no idea how a man as confusing as an anomaly as Natsu could throw her for so much of a loop. He was strange, somehow still innocent, fierce, and dangerous. So many different facets of his personality rolled into one fiery man.
She wished he would put on a shirt.
Her gaze skimmed past Natsu to land on the clothes she set out for him. Paid for by the police and tailored to his specific measurements. How Erza had his measurements was the true mystery, but it was one Lucy was content not solving.
Lucy was certain the answer would make her even more terrified of the woman.
"Nothing's wrong aside from the obvious," Lucy hastily tucked an errant lock of hair behind her ear. She avoided looking at him and his very defined torso to better ignore the heat still coiling in her stomach.
Flustered, and probably not making much in the way of sense, Lucy jabbed her finger towards the bench at the foot of her bed where she laid out Natsu's new outfit.
Curious but not finding any reason to ignore a new investigating opportunity, Natsu moved over to the pile of clothing and scoffed.
"No. You cannot be serious."
How had she known Natsu was going to react like that? The man was so comfortable in just a tank top, a pair of cargo pants and combat boots, what she had picked out was going to seem like a completely foreign concept.
He held up the dress shirt and slacks in different hands, flapping them through the air like flags even as Lucy cringed over the fact she had just gotten through pressing them.
Although she supposed it was a miracle if Natsu even knew what an iron was.
"You want to stick me in a monkey suit," Natsu scowled, his expression growing petulant as he eyed the three-piece suit with disdain. He dropped the shirt and pointed at a twisted mess of elastic rolled up onto the suit jacket.
"Are those suspenders?" came a hot demand.
Lucy sighed and gave him a patient look, "Yes they are."
"Well those suspenders are going to stay right where they are," Natsu grumbled sourly, his thumbs dropping into the waistband of his sweatpants. His fingers, rough and hot, from what Lucy remembered, ran along the sharp V narrowing down his hips. His eyes were dark and introspective on the suspenders.
"Why," Lucy scowled back at him, wondering why he was being so difficult about putting on a damn suit. Could Natsu Dragneel be that much of a fashionista?
"Because they are stupid, that's why."
Pinching the bridge of her nose, Lucy suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. She didn't understand between the span of time between him getting out of the shower and him eyeing the clothes, but whatever he had seen seemed to have put him in a mood.
Although now that she thought about it, when he arrived earlier that day, she noticed how distracted he had been. Sure he had brightened up again at the prospect of a boiling hot shower, but there was something off about him even through his joking. She didn't understand what happened to go wrong.
"They aren't stupid, Natsu, you'll look good with them on. Just trust me," Lucy sighed, catching the way he turned and glanced at her with flinty green eyes over his shoulder. The phoenix tattoo shrugged with his movements, the spiraling and curled ink following him.
He turned away, his back facing Lucy as he shrugged the dress shirt on, the bright white of the crisp shirt stark across his tanned skin. She watched him button it up, leaving the top two undone as he straightened his collar.
A squeak left her as he dropped his sweat pants, her head whipping away even though he was in his underwear and she had already seen rather intimate parts of him before. Flushing red, she peeked out of the corner her eye to see Natsu snorting and rolling his eyes at her embarrassment.
For a moment, amusement seemed to twitch over his face before his expression darkened. Normally Lucy's cries of flustered shyness left him feeling proud and amused, but not even those could lift his mood once it had settled in.
Natsu could feel Lucy's eyes on him, at least in the moments they briefly ran over him before sliding away. Where he had once felt a sort of lifting in his chest, now it felt like a lead weight was pressing down on his lungs.
Gray's words had settled into his head and burrowed deep into his skull like a type of disease. Doubt and worry surged through his veins like venom, and for a moment Natsu wanted to get off this ride where he was left feeling from one extreme of shittiness to joy in the matter of moments.
He couldn't deny there was an attraction between him and Lucy. Really, he would have to be as braindead as Gray liked to suggest he was if he couldn't see even that.
Gray would never suggest Lucy was anything but resolute in her affections. But eventually, Natsu knew he was going to step in it. He was going to mess up so badly that Lucy's hopes and dreams were going to be crushed. Sure, what they had was a physical attraction.
But once she realized the kind of man he was, there wasn't going to be room for anything else. And like what Gray said came back to his mind.
'I know what kind of fuck up you are, and Lucy is going to realize that too and get her heart broken.'
He wasn't wrong.
Once they got whatever was between them out of their systems, what would be left? A man with no future and a woman with actual direction in life. They really had nothing together.
It was all physical.
And Natsu was angry at himself for thinking it wasn't. How much of a moron could he be? The answer was elusive even to him.
Mechanically, he finished zipping up his pants, buttoning them around his waist. Idly, he wondered how Lucy knew his size, because they fit weirdly well. He attached the suspenders to the waistband and rolled them in the right direction, shrugging the elastic straps on over his shoulders.
Everything was kept snug in proper form, not even a fold of fabric out of place.
Natsu didn't feel like himself, dressed so sleek in a borrowed suit and tie.
He caught sight of himself in the full length mirror Lucy had on her closet, feeling like he was looking at a stranger. He swallowed as he fingered the flaps of his cuffs, not yet buttoned. The suit jacket and vest went untouched on the bench, he couldn't bring himself to even consider dressing in them. If he did, there would be nothing left of Natsu, smothered under rich fabrics.
His hand grasped around his neck, aching for the familiar weight of a scarf long since lost to him.
Even a small shred of his past he could identify with that didn't bring back bad memories.
Resentment for the police boiled in Natsu again, the loss of his most precious keepsake still an open wound.
His eyes lifted to the mirror where he saw Lucy watching him, a smile on her face and looking so pleased.
"Wow, Natsu!" She said, a bright grin on her face as her eyes dragged over him, lingering across his back where his flaming tattoo peeked out from under his collar. He almost expected her to get up and smooth it down to hide it from view, "You look great!"
Great.
Natsu hated the weird flip in his stomach he felt whenever Lucy looked at him like that. Normally he loved it, but right now it was just distracting. His thoughts were twisting in all kinds of directions he knew weren't going to be good for him. His heart thudded in his chest as he bent for the tie, looping it lazily around his neck to rest there but not having decided whether or not he would put it on properly.
Or hell, if he could even remember how to tie the knot right.
The first and only time he had ever even worn a tie was for Igneel's fu-
His hands fell away from his neck, his eyes locking with Lucy's in the mirror.
He looked at the bitter man in his reflection, wondering what happened along the way to turn him into this. Because right now he couldn't even recognize himself, his thoughts dark and gloomy, his smile all but gone, and old pain resurfacing like an old reminder.
But in this suit, he looked like someone else. Someone in charge of his life and with options. The man who wore this looked like someone deserving of a woman like Lucy. Someone who could offer her something beyond the physical. That wasn't him.
"It's okay you know," Natsu slid his fingers against the buttons of his shirt, turning around like he was wearing a suit of armor instead. His eyes fixed on the confused look on Lucy's face, reaching over to the pocket of his sweats to withdraw the police issued phone and his lighter. He dropped them both in his right pocket. He didn't even have to check for holes in the lining, because these pants weren't actually his.
"What is?" Lucy asked, her eyes wide without understanding.
"This," He gestured between the two of them, frustration making itself known on his face. He tried to understand what was so confusing about this conversation. They were doing this back and forth thing, but he was the only one being haunted by the memories of her lips, her smile and her laugh. The spark of brilliance that shone behind chocolate eyes, the dark wit that glittered with mischief, and her fierceness that rivaled even the hottest of his flames.
This one-sided game that was threatening to consume him, "The attraction between us I mean."
"I'm not following," Lucy's cheeks flushed, her gaze averting guiltily.
Liar.
"Sure you are," His eyes flashed, anger and impatience burning in the back of his eyes. He advanced a step towards Lucy, only one of his suspenders buckled on right. Lucy had to fight the impulse to flip it over and smoothe it out over his shoulder.
Instead she was curious over his sudden change of mood.
"I know the way you're looking at me," his voice dropped to that rough growl he sometimes used. Low and enticing, with that undercurrent of danger that somehow did nothing to frighten her.
He was talking about something important now, and she had to pay attention to his words otherwise she thought she was going to lose something crucial to the way their… partnership would end.
"It's a physical attraction," Natsu clarified, pressing into Lucy's space but stopping when she made no steps of retreat. They were close to one another, his fierce eyes burning into hers. And she realized at that moment, his guard was up.
When had he thrown up his barriers and walls again, just when Lucy was confident he was beginning to lower them, inch by inch?
"It's fine if you just want to fuck to get it out of your system," He shot at her, slinging his words like the razor edge of a whip. A muscle in his jaw clenched, the defined muscles in his throat flexing as he swallowed. His tongue darted out to lick his lips, his eyes a threatening green and fierce on her.
"I'd get it - our lives are different," he continued, but was suddenly unable to meet her eye any longer, "Starting any kind of relationship with an ex-felon like me is going to cause a shitstorm to pile up on your doorstep."
"You don't have to see me again after this if you don't want to," Natsu's remark was scathing in how sharply he said it.
Where was this attack coming from?
Hurt washed over Lucy in a wave and she surged to her stung at her eyes and she blinked them back before he could notice. She was close to slapping the foulness out of his stupid mouth, when she noticed the distant look behind his walled off eyes.
And she remembered, freezing in that moment, that he was a seventeen year old boy the last time he had been outside. Tried as an adult, but still a child. That was the age when identities began to form, and he had been walled off behind four concrete walls, away from anyone he could relate to without a rapsheet. His only company for a long time was barbed wire and steel bars, defending himself however he knew how while inside. It was a marvel he escaped unscathed - if he even had.
She wondered if this was his emotionally constipated way of trying to protect himself from further injury. It shored up her realization that something happened between Natsu and Gray.
As much as his reaction made sense, this had to be stamped out of him. Now. Natsu couldn't be given the chance to backslide - not when he had made so much progress. She crossed the distance between them and yanked her hands around the stiff fabric of his collar, dragging him towards her a few steps. His eyes were startled, surprised by her boldness, but not resisting her manhandling. He seemed accepting.
"Would that make you happy?" Lucy asked harshly, but her voice didn't lift beyond a whisper. She tugged at the buttons of his shirt, finishing the job he had started up until she reached his collar.
The intensity of his gaze followed her as her fingers moved up across buttonholes and fabric. His strong throat swallowed hard under her hands, but she didn't pay any attention to his nerves. His shell had begun to crack the moment he accepted her request to lunch.
She wasn't going to let him start hiding behind it again.
The tie he left loose around his shoulders twisted through her fingers like a ribbon and she began to methodically fix it for him. Once the knot was arranged to her satisfaction, she tightened it up, and with more force than was necessary jammed it against the hollow of his throat.
The terrified sounding squeak he let out was probably not the most masculine noise Lucy had ever heard in her life, but it was still enough to fill her with a sense of pride.
"If you want to fuck me and leave me, then go ahead," Lucy backed away an inch. She raised a hand to her own collar and tugged open her blouse with a fierce glare that left him speechless. Her jaw trembled with emotion and she didn't miss the flash of guilt and horror on Natsu's face.
Or the way his eyes darted down before screwing to her face.
"Lucy- you don't have to-"
"Would that make you happy, Natsu?" She demanded of him, undoing the next few buttons to slide her shirt daringly off her shoulders. Heat burned at her cheeks, but she wasn't going to give him ground. It was too important.
This point had to be made.
"Come on then, lets go. Right here and now," Lucy gave him a fierce glare, "But leaving you wouldn't make me happy. And it's not going to make you happy either."
Natsu's gaze averted to the side again, chastised under the heat behind her words, "I- sorry Lucy. I didn't mean that for you. I just-"
Sighing, Lucy managed to breathe out. She knew what he meant. She knew what kind of self-deprecation he lived with. The self-hatred that burned like one of his flames gone wild in his chest. She returned to him, where the man seemed as if he had been rooted to the floor of her bedroom.
"I don't know who told you you weren't worthy of love, but they were wrong," Lucy gripped the stiff collar of his shirt, pulling him down a few frustrated inches, "But your crimes don't make you who you are."
Natsu's hard suck of air over her words burned through the air as if he were breathing fire. Lucy caught sight of his bitter eyes softening in shock before she realized she was getting through to him. She continued, stepping into his space and not letting up.
"If you don't want to wear the shirt and tie, fine then. Don't. But the way you look and dress aren't the only things about you that keep me up at night," She murmured. The lack of a smile on his face was strange, and it was time it came back.
"...Wait what."
Lucy abruptly let go of him as her words came back to her, as did the implications of her imagination. Mortification boiled on her face and she nearly exploded from the possible thought that Natsu would put it together.
"Oh."
A hesitant grin began to work over his face. It was edged with a sort of openness in his eyes that hadn't been there before. Warmth to match Lucy's dusted over his cheeks and he gave her a boyish smile.
One that was laced with impish glee as suddenly he scented blood.
This was not what she meant.
"No go back," interest was clear in his voice, as if he didn't want to let go of that particular train of thought. Much to Lucy's chagrin. A buoyant laugh bubbled from him, his shoulders shaking with mirth. Green eyes closed from view, humor vibrating enough Lucy could feel it trembling through her too.
And it came out to follow his laughter. So together they were laughing in her room. Him, with his tie strangling his throat, and Lucy, with her blouse ripped open. It was as if the laughter chased away the pain from the conversation. It became a healing balm to fresh, raw wounds.
And wounds that never had the chance to heal properly.
They broke off with joined giggles and snorts, Natsu bracing his hands on clean slacks while Lucy bent over to laugh.
Their laughs settled, heavy breathing and smiles all that remained.
Natsu's hand found the curve of Lucy's cheek when she looked up, a smile on his face. Her hand brushed over the back of his roughened knuckles, fingers curling over his skin.
She breathed in a steady lungful of air and returned her gaze up towards his startling green eyes. They were no longer shadowed and hard, as if the tension had drained from his entire body. He smiled at her, a little confused, like his higher brain functions weren't working at full capacity anymore.
That was fine.
Lucy tugged him down to her eye level using his tie as an anchor. Her eyes flicked down to his mouth and she bit her lip in consideration. The motion attracted his attention, his smile softening at the edges.
Slow, and unhurried, Lucy closed the distance between them. Her lips brushed over his, feeling him go very still under the almost caressing sensation. It was gentle, barely there but calming in its simpleness. This time there was no one watching. No chances of their interactions being spied upon.
She had no reason to kiss him aside from the simple fact she wanted to.
She breathed him in, her grip on his tie loosening as the fabric slipped from her fingertips. A shiver of happiness slid over her in a wave when she felt Natsu's hand rise to gently pull sweet fingers through locks of her hair.
They combed soothing patterns to the crown of her head and he swept her bangs from her face once they parted. Lucy watched his eyes close and his forehead pressed down against hers, relaxation and confidence sliding over his face as his hand found hers by their sides.
"I think I want to find out where it goes," She heard him confess.
"Yeah," her breath caught in her chest and she squeezed his hand, "After this case is over. I think I'd be interested in seeing where it goes too."
They stood like that for a minute, silence stretching between them in the quiet of her room.
"So," Natsu broke the atmosphere, his voice cracking at the tail end of the word. Lucy blinked at his red face, seeing a blush grow in awkward intensity on his cheeks.
"You going to button up your shirt at some point or…" He trailed off.
Lucy let out a shriek of surprise, suddenly remembering her rather daring stance. All at once shy, she crossed her arms over her chest and turned around to quickly button herself back up. It encouraged another loud laugh from Natsu over her flustered state.
Luckily, her watch took that moment to beep to remind her they were on a schedule. Erza would be waiting outside with Natsu's ride. Because he had to arrive in style, and the woman had offered to lend Natsu her motorcycle for the night.
It wouldn't do Natsu any good to show up in a suit and arrive on foot to the party.
"Oh shoot! You're going to be late!" Lucy swore and looked back at the vest and suit jacket he opted out of wearing. The man instead decided to roll up his sleeves to his elbows and loosen his tie.
She couldn't help but stare.
Because really, he was almost more distracting clothed than he was half-naked. Especially with the hint of ink that peeked out from under his sleeve and against his collar.
Natsu's hand grasped reflexively through the air near his neck while his other hand dove into his pocket. Lucy observed the action curiously, but didn't comment on it. She had seen him make the nervous gesture more than once before, as if he were used to something being draped around his throat.
"No sweat," Natsu said, jerking his thumb into his chest and giving her a firm grin, "We're going to catch that bastard tonight, and he isn't going to hurt anyone ever again."
"And then maybe later-," Lucy smiled at him, reaching out to straighten his suspenders, "-We can get to know one another better."
He gave her a hopeful smile, a giddy grin catching like fire that was so contagious, Lucy couldn't help but reflect it.
"Then I'm definitely going to get a confession from that bastard," He said smugly, his hand reaching out to squeeze her hand.
Before they could talk further on the subject, a blaring honk from outside the window caught both of their attention. Natsu snagged his leather coat from Lucy's coatrack, the only coat he actually owned, which was a little too snug around the shoulders and arms.
He headed to the door with one last smile at Lucy and slipped out with a backwards wave.
He dropped outside Lucy's house, the keys to his place jingling around a tan finger. He was feeling pretty good about himself now. Which was weird considering how he had arrived in such a foul mood. The influence of Lucy was a frightening power, that was for sure.
Plodding down the sidewalk, tugging at his stiff collar and his too-tight tie, he looked up to see a familiar head of red hair shaking out long locks from under her helmet.
He approached her, tan fingers sliding into the pockets of his jacket.
"Yo, Erza," His grin stretched out across his face, happy to see her even if it was just to borrow her motorcycle.
Her brown eye found his, expression severe and focused on him. Keys in hand, she cut off the engine and extended them through the air. Natsu giddily held out his palm, waiting for her to drop the keys to her baby into his hand.
"One scratch," Erza warned threateningly, "If I see even a solitary mark on my bike, you will not be able to cover yourself in enough tattoos to hide the damage I will do to you."
Natsu gulped.
Talk about scary...
"Don't worry, I won't even scuff the kickstand," joked Natsu, tossing the keys into the air and catching them, ignoring the way Erza followed the motion with her exposed eye like a feline.
He laughed at the scandalized expression that flashed at her face, wishing he wasn't in such a nice suit, because what he wouldn't give to rub messy fingerprints all over her polished ride just to annoy her. Although, he supposed he could still do that if he didn't mind her grinding him into the ground.
Best not to ruin the suit…
He huffed a bit as he felt a gentle touch to his forehead. Immediately, he flinched back, his eyes wide as he saw Erza's hand slowly comb through the pink locks of his bangs. Expecting a strike or swing, he slowly relaxed when he realized it wasn't coming.
Although this was Erza.
He remained cautious.
"You're messing up my hair," He swatted at her hands, grunting at the way she was trying to smooth down the stubborn spikes.
"You always did like your hair to look a mess," Erza smiled in amusement but withdrew her hands when Natsu kept bobbing his head out of her grasp.
"I prefer the term 'stylishly arranged,'" Natsu protested. Erza nodded, her expression distant.
"You don't have to do this. There's still time for you to back out and never look back," Erza tried once more, her eye hesitant. Her hands ran over the seat of her bike, fingers twitching as she seemed to resist the desire to drag him into hiding, "You can stay safe and keep your head down."
Natsu snorted, thinking it was worth the try on Erza's part, even if it had no basis of actually happening. Natsu couldn't remember a time where he ran away from any confrontation with a person.
Besides Erza. But that was totally justified.
"As if I'd do that, I've never been any good at keeping my head down. You know that," He rolled his shoulders, adjusting the leather jacket that was just a little too snug. He'd have to pick up a new one. Which was a shame considering this on was the first jacket he could afford before he was arrested. It had been about three sizes too big for him at the time, but he thought it looked badass and thought he would grow into it.
It still looked cool enough for a motorbike ride, and would give off that impression the police wanted to show while still being distinctly Natsu.
Now Erza's hands were fussing at his collar, yanking the jacket this way and that as she tried to get it to obey her wishes.
"Maybe I do, but that doesn't mean you should do this. What are you trying to prove?" She demanded, and Natsu rethought the possibility he would have to replace the jacket. With as how tight as her hands were gripping the leather, she was doing a great job of stretching it out.
He thought about her question, trying to figure out the best way to answer her. To his surprise, he didn't really have a reason for helping the police at this point. Sure, the money was nice and he desperately needed it. But the idea of spending time with Lucy had become reward enough on its own.
Which was so embarrassingly sappy, Natsu was just going to stick with the money to ensure no one ever had a way to suspect his internal thoughts. So what if he was a bit of a romantic? Lucy had given him more than enough confirmation on her own just earlier.
"Nothing, I guess," Natsu admitted, a grin playing over his face, "At least nothing that you and Jellal aren't trying to prove."
"Natsu, that's different we - "
"Save it, Erza. It doesn't matter. It never did" He cut her off, tugging himself free from her hands. Erza's face fell at how he pulled away and she looked down the street, the guilt on her face too painful for him to look at, "You both have been beating yourself up for leaving me behind in that fire seven years ago. But we all knew I wasn't walking out of there anyway."
"Even if I had managed to get free, I would have just slowed you both down. All of us would have been arrested," Natsu shook his head. That idea was unacceptable, especially now that he saw his two friends happy. Together. They had what they always wanted, and had fought hard to get it for themselves, "I've never regretted taking the fall. Lets be honest, the both of you did a lot better with your lives than I would have."
Erza looked stricken by his words, even if Natsu felt it was true. He was the one who was drawn to fire like it was the sun itself. Erza and Jellal never had that itch, never truly enjoyed the flames like he had. They could escape it much easier than he could. If he hadn't gone to prison and escaped that night, he would have liked to believe he could stop casting fires.
After both Erza and Jellal got hurt, he wanted to believe he would stop at nothing to prevent himself from striking another match. Natsu wasn't so sure he would have been able to.
Erza's hands cradled the sides of his face, drawing his attention up to her brown eye, gleaming with kind warmth, "It would have been better with you in it."
"Well yeah, I'm awesome. We'd have had a ton of fun," Natsu allowed with a grin. His fingers came to wind around Erza's wrist. It was just as strong as he remembered her being, "But you're a hotshot firefighter climbing up the ranks, and Jellal is running a shelter."
He smiled at Erza and found he truly meant it, "I'm proud of you both."
He snagged the helmet from her hands, weighing it between his palms before sliding it over his head, "It's time you forgave yourself and it's about time I forgive myself too."
People were hurt in that fire. And Natsu might have been a bit of a monster, but there was no reason to let it hold him back. He did his time. Maybe Gray could never forgive him, but Natsu could learn to. Never forget it, but find a way to live with that crime.
"And you think the best way to do that is to do this? To put yourself in Jackal's crosshairs?" Erza watched Natsu pull away, kicking a leg over her beast of a bike, pulling its weight up to center under his body. It swayed under his grip as he slid into the saddle.
"I'm not afraid of Jackal," Natsu gripped onto the handlebars, his fingers caressing the throttle. He was ready to go. The sooner he was back, the sooner this whole thing would be over.
"You should be Natsu, the man is a killer. The site of that building was completely torched. I don't see how anyone could have made it out," Erza's hand dropped down in the center of bike, keeping it still while she focused on him, "I know this was his first time killing someone, but I'm certain he was thinking about it for a while."
The warning sent a trickle down Natsu's spine and a tremble ran through his hands.
Not fear.
But anger.
Erza's instincts were rarely wrong about anything like this. When they were younger she saw the signs in Zancrow, and he understood now why she was so adamant on him not doing this. If Jackal had set the fire and messed up, resulting in the death of people in the building, that was one thing.
But everything changed if Jackal wanted the people inside to die. That hinted at something much darker at play.
It was a sickness in Jackal, and it filled Natsu with fury.
"Was that supposed to change my mind? Because now I'm all fired up!" His grip tightened around the handles, his breathing slowing as anger pulsed through his veins. The pictures Lucy showed him that first day flashed in front of his eyes. Blackened limbs and dried out bodies, each one stiffened into a fetal position by the way muscles contracted.
"The bastard is going down," He snarled.
"Just be careful Natsu, please. You don't need the forgiveness of anyone besides yourself." Erza gave him a wary look, her hand drawing off of the bike. Her expression was neutral, but her fist rose to lightly rap her knuckles against the top of his helmet, "Don't be a hero."
"You don't need to watch out for me any more, Erza," He grinned at her behind the visor, "I know I'm no hero, but I don't need to be one. I just need to be annoying enough to make the villain fuck up."
He lifted his hand in a two finger salute, cranking the engine to life with a roar. He snagged his gloves from his pockets, sliding the leather across to protect his fingers from the kick up from the road. Revving the engine, he smirked at the vibration that shook his body.
"I'll see you later, Erza, don't wait up. Your bike and I are going to have some fun tonight," He cackled, letting the bike rev loudly one last time before roaring off.
A few of Lucy's neighbors snapped lights on and glared out their windows from the noise, giving the redhead that remained in the road sour looks.
Erza flushed up to her roots and hid her face in her hands.
"Natsu!"
Man y'all are so bloodthirsty. I've never seen so many people want to kill Gray at any given time. Patience. After this chapter, it's the final 10 count down until the finish :D
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