None of us spoke for a long while. Though the sun was fairly warm, I was cold all over to the point of freezing. I can almost feel myself shiver. I could not even blink because I know if I close my eyes, I might open them again to see blood dripping from my hands, and that blood would not just be any other blood, it would be that of my own father. It was the same feeling as yesterday, but worse. The man who sat beside me on that park bench was the one who tried to take care of me but couldn't, and when he realized that, he gave me away like he would a dog.

"You hate me," Will Graham said, looking at my fists that were trembling with the tension I felt. "No. You loathe me."

I did not reply right away. I first tried to collect what little I can of myself before saying, "Of course."

I heard a sharp intake of breath beside me. "I do not expect to change that now."

"Or ever." I quipped.

"Abiel, I do not even know where to begin—"

"Then don't." I said, knowing he was about to make an apology. "If apologizing to me would make you feel better, then I'm not even letting you start."

"Alright," He said. "I understand."

"You don't." I said. "You will never understand. You say this is difficult for you too. Well this is more difficult for me. All my life the fact that I was born to a couple of murderers haunted me. All my life I tried not to be like you only to find myself wishing to be just that when I meet you."

He did not speak. Merry has climbed unto his lap to rest and I wanted to yank my dog away from him. However, I cannot let myself snap again; I cannot be violent again.

As a matter of fact, I could have snapped again long ago. I could have sought my parents out the next day after I received those Christmas cards and killed them in cold blood. That was what I planned to do the morning I took my walk, but it was thwarted when I saw Tristan. My dogs are the only reminder that I have warmth, that I too am capable of tenderness, or if I am not, they are the ones that fool me into thinking so.

"Abiel, listen to me." Will Graham said barely above a whisper, as if he was too cautious of driving me to my breaking point. "There is only one thing I want you to know, and I want you to accept."

I looked at him the way I looked at Hannibal Lecter the day before. I wanted my very existence to condemn him and I wanted him to know that.

Will Graham's response was not the same, though. He did not avert his eyes nor clamped his mouth shut. He held my gaze, and I knew that he truly wanted me to realize what he was about to say. "I loved you, Abiel." He said. "We loved you. To this day, my fantasies are filled with teaching you how to fish, with frolicking in the river on autumn mornings, with visiting Hannibal and telling him about your day. I have longed for nothing else but to see you smile at me like how you used to when you were small, but that was the same smile that made me realize I cannot be your father and neither can Hannibal. We do not deserve you. We do not deserve your smile and filial love, we knew that, and you did not deserve to be in our chaotic world."

I did not know why I listened to him. I did not know why or how I had calmed down as Will Graham spoke thus. What I felt when I heard my father say all that was all too alien to me.

"But we loved you, Abiel, do know that." He said, his eyes glossed with what seemed like tears he was trying to hold back.

Instead of snapping like how I expected myself to do, I just shook my head. "Do not tell me of things I do not understand." I said, "I know nothing of love."

Will Graham sighed and turned to the spaniel that was resting on his lap. "I do not believe you." He said as he stroked Merry's fur. He smiled a rather warm smile. "Because if you really know nothing of love, I would not have spoken to you a while ago. I would not have seen how fond you were of these dogs, and thought that this is something you and I have in common."

It was my turn to sigh this time. That was true and I cannot deny it. I bent down to pick up Dawn and place her on my lap. "It's funny isn't it?" I said, letting Dawn lick the face of her playmate who was resting on my father's lap. "How you and I recognized each other just by looking, considering I never saw you except for those pictures when you were younger."

He smirked. "I was once shown the photograph of a young Lithuanian man who seemed to be in his 20s," he said. "And he looked just like you."

"Except for the hair, nose and eye colour." I added.

"Yes. Those are mine." He replied. "But even your voice sounds like his."

I smirked. "The Lecter genes are strong, it seems."

"It seems." He repeated. "You went to the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane yesterday."He said. "Freddie Lounds spotted you."

"I did. I interviewed Dr. Bloom." I replied.

"Did you get to talk with Hannibal?" He asked.

"Yes." I replied and hoped he would not ask about that encounter any further.

As I expected, he did not stop there. "What did he tell you?"

"Well, he did not tell me what you had just said." I replied.

"He would not." My father said matter-of-factly. "At least not on the first time you saw him."

I nodded as I scratched the back of Tristan's ear.

"You had a beard in that picture in Tattle-Crime, though."

I smirked. "I shaved it off." I replied. "The first time she laid her eyes on me, Dr. Bloom looked like she saw a ghost. She thought I was you."

Will Graham chuckled and looked at me. "Grow a beard or even a stubble and you'll look like me. Shave it off and you look like Hannibal."

I chuckled too. "Makes it more difficult for me to ignore the fact that I am your son."

"You're trying to ignore that fact?" He asked in such a way that sounded more like I should not be ignoring that fact. "I know why you do, but I hope you wouldn't."

"And why, may I ask?"

"Because not accepting that is betraying yourself. I should know." He said. "And from my own experience, the more you run away from a fact like that, the more it will drive you to your breaking point. Do not break, Abiel." That last phrase sounded like a plea.

'Too late' I replied in my mind.

Author's Note:

Finally, Abiel has calmed down for once. That is goddamned apt because the tension of his character is taking its toll on me. If you think he's gonna mellow down like butter from here on, then... uhhh, I don't know, keep thinking.

I don't know what happens next either, so just leave a review or follow for the time being.