Whenever we have exams the following week, Morrie would take the dogs to his parents' place. Aside from allowing us to focus on studying, the dogs can also run free at his family's farm. I have not been there myself though, but my dogs seem quite happy and well-fed when they return after a week. Though none of us had exams after that weekend, Morrie had taken the dogs with him perhaps as recompense for last night. I wish he did not take the dogs, though.
When I woke up that morning, I realized what I had tried to do the night before. The knowledge that someone else knew of me shattered my psyche and sent me on a murderous rage again.
That night, I dreamed of what I did ten years ago. I dreamed of beating those two familiar heads to bloody pulps that turned the green grass red. When I was through with them, I looked up to see the third one, wearing a prison jumpsuit and hanging from a tree with his lifeless foot grazing my cheek. I ran to the same brook where I washed the blood off of me. The brook was a dark brown colour. As I bent to look at the water more closely, I saw my reflection—it was the same menacing reflection I saw on Joey Estrella's eyes. Something fell onto the surface of the water and it made a splash that got to my face. That splash woke me up, as it turned out that I was hyperventilating in my sleep and Tristan had woken me by licking my face.
With Morrie and the dogs gone, I was all alone in the apartment. There was not a sound of barking or wagging of tails and the presence of another person. There was nothing to distract me from the darkness in my mind. I was all alone with my thoughts and repressed memories free to haunt me. I knew I could go out and take a walk like I usually do on fine Saturday mornings, but the sunlight that I would usually think warm seemed prying that morning. I locked the door, closed the windows and made sure that not even a ray of sunlight or anything else can get in or out of the place. I was certain that if I had stepped outside that day, my feet would bring me to Joey Estrella and my hands would kill him, and I would prove once and for all that I am my parents.
I had worked so hard to fulfil my dream of becoming a part of law enforcement—to break the pattern that my family had set. If I were to kill again this time, I would be taking a step further away from that goal of mine. People would know of me. People would know that I am the son of the Chesapeake Ripper. The world will speak my name with fear and loathing. I could imagine Chiyoh's reaction if she were to find out what I did. She would look at me with the same stoic glare that says I did what was expected of me. All my life, I had avoided that glare of hers. All my life, I had tried not to be my fathers' son.
"Do not break, Abiel," Will Graham said, as he sat on the couch, looking at me with blank eyes.
"To hell with you!" I screamed, throwing my coffee mug at the couch from where I sat by the dining table. "You don't know anything of what I had to go through because of you!"
The ceramic crashed against the wall, coffee had spilled all over the furniture, but Will Graham was nowhere to be found. I sighed and pressed a palm on my forehead, but I flinched at how cold my hand was. I was losing it again.
I stood to clean up the mess I made. It was absurdly difficult to do with my hands shaking uncontrollably. My rage still possessed me. I made sure that I had left no trace whatsoever of my outburst before getting my phone and calling my godmother.
"Abiel," Dr. Du Maurier said upon answering. "I was just about to call you."
"I..." I began, but I heard my voice shake and I had to swallow to calm myself. "I'm breaking."
Author's Note:
Hi! It really flatters me that you've read up to this point, considering how inconsistent Abiel is. Yeah I know how inconsistent he is, I'm doing this deliberately. Sometimes I think, if Abiel and I go to the same university, and I know him personally- say we were classmates on a subject or something-I would surely hate the guy. Honestly, I'd be better friends with Morrie.
That aside, I really hope you're enjoying the story. We're getting there sooner than I expected, so leave a review and/or follow!