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They're Always After Me Lucky Charms

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Buffy had managed to talk Spike into going into the trailer together to wait out the headache, but Buffy could see Spike was still wigged by Buffy's new body. "Need more blood?" Buffy asked, resolved to try harder and show Spike how still the same Buffy was. "Could run to the butcher to get some more blood. Or maybe bring a nice, juicy, tender animal full of blood to eat? Or... or whiskey? Want whiskey?"

"No, mate," Spike said with a sigh. "Just stop, okay? Tired, here. Got a big performance later, and long days on the road aren't helping matters."

Buffy watched Spike stare out the window. Spike looked so tired and sad, Buffy's eyes welled with tears. Buffy couldn't understand not wanting to Riverdance, but Spike obviously didn't. Standing, Buffy said, "Buffy will destroy the contract and save Spike. Have no fear."

"Appreciate the thought, Slayer. Right kind, in fact. But the contract is sealed in blood. Doubt the contract can be broken."

"Buffy will find a way!" Buffy said determinedly. "Just wait and see."

Spike leaned back, eyes closed, as Buffy stormed to the door. "Good luck, then. And... thanks."

Buffy paused. "Happier now?"

Spike nodded.

Lower lip caught between teeth, Buffy-in-Riley stepped closer to Spike and looked down, shy. "Maybe a kiss for luck?"

Spike jerked backward, sporting a look of horror. "Sorry, mate, don't swing that way!"

Buffy harrumphed. "Did not expect a vampire to be so prejudiced! Did not expect rejection from a vampire for being a Slayer stuck in a man's body! Catch up to the 1990's!"

"Not the issue. Male, female, female stuck in a male's body – makes no nevermind to a vampire. Just ask Angelus," Spike said, with a bit of a leer. "No, being with the Slayer is the issue. Have a rep to think of, here. Slayers are for killing, nothing more, and wanting to do any actions other than killing with a Slayer would be wrong."

"Spike doesn't like Buffy?" Buffy said in a small voice.

"Mortal enemies, don't forget!" Spike said, exasperated. When Buffy's lower lip wobbled, Spike sighed. "Oh, no. No, no, no. Don't cry, pet. Nothing wrong with Buffy, all right? Spike's just cranky." Spike patted Buffy's large and manly hand. "There, there. Gonna be okay."

Buffy gave Spike a watery smile, shoulders straightening with newfound determination. "Everything will, just as soon as that contract is voided. Be back soon!"

"Don't rush," Spike muttered.

Outside, Buffy strode forward, enjoying the ability to cover ground quickly with such large strides. Humming, "Where the Streets Have no Name," Buffy headed for the show director's trailer. Before Buffy could get there, Buffy was distracted by a squeaky voice shouting, "Buffy! Buffy!"

Buffy stopped and looked around.

"Buffy!" the voice shouted again, and then Buffy felt a tug on the pants.

Buffy looked down. And gasped. "A leprechaun? A leprechaun for Buffy? How a-dor-able!" Buffy scooped the leprechaun up and cuddled the leprechaun close. "Buffy will cherish this leprechaun forever!"

"No!" the leprechaun squeaked. "Buffy, listen closely, dammit. Not a leprechaun. Angel!"

Buffy held the leprechaun at arm's length. "Tiny green suit, tiny buckle shoes, tiny beard, tiny green hat... and no wings. Nope. Leprechaun, not angel. Poor, confused leprechaun. Don't worry, Buffy will take good care of the poor, confused leprechaun," Buffy said reassuringly.

"No, no, no. Angel the vampire, not an angel with wings. Just like Buffy looks like a man, but is still Buffy. A curse!"

Buffy peered more closely at the leprechaun, and was surprised to see the leprechaun did sport a resemblance to Angel beneath the beard and the clothes. "Leprechaun Angel! How a-dor-able!" Buffy shook a finger at Leprechaun Angel. "Not a curse. Good fortune!"

With a headshake, Angel insisted, "A curse, Buffy. Dru's curse."

"Dru is a genius," Buffy said. "How did Leprechaun Angel know where to find Buffy? Now Buffy can kiss Angel's sweet Irish lips!" Buffy tried to suit action to words, but ended up drenching the tiny Angel leprechaun with saliva.

"Please stop!" Angel wiped away the slobber with a grimace. "Angel went looking for Buffy at Giles' house and found Willow. Willow explained how Buffy became a man, and showed a photo of the man to look for. Trying to find Spike too, but found Buffy first. Have a solution for Spike's problem, and for the leprechaun problem."

Buffy perked up. "Spike? Spike is easy to find. And Spike is a Riverdancer," Buffy said breathlessly. "But Spike doesn't want to be a dancer... Spike says to dance is a punishment."

"Dru's punishment," Angel agreed. "Buffy, don't doubt that being a Riverdancer is the ultimate in torture for Spike," Angel said, expression turning guilty.

"But why?" Buffy said, perplexed.

Angel's head hung low. "Because Angelus used to enjoy torturing Spike... by forcing Spike to dance Irish jigs."

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