A/N: Whew, this is it. *wipes brow* Challenge requirements at the end of the chapter. Thanks for coming along on this ride!
.
.
All's Well that Ends Spuffy
.
.
The glowing green ball of energy zipped from one end of the warehouse to the other, leaving a trail of knitted stockings in the ball's wake. "Oh no. No, no, no. Everything is terrible!" the ball hummed, louder and louder, until the hum reaching ear-splitting levels.
The monks shoved fingers into ears.
The ball stopped zipping to stare into the scrying glass, where an image of Xander and Giles had formed. Giles was sitting on a couch with Xander, Xander's head in Giles' lap. Giles stroked Xander's hair, and said, "Continue, please."
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine..." Xander sang.
"Change it!" the ball screeched.
The monk shook the scrying glass, and a new image appeared. Joyce, still in a lime green pantsuit, bent over to take a dish out of the oven. "Riley's favorite," Joyce said proudly, leaning in to smell the Lucky Charms - Irish soda bread - potato - corned beef casserole. "And now for the final touch..." Joyce poured a healthy dollop of Bailey's Irish Cream over the top, and carried the concoction out to the dining room. "Dinner is served," Joyce said to Riley.
"Smells delicious, Mrs. Summers," Riley replied.
"What?! How does he even know her?" the balled shrieked. "No! It's all wrong!"
The monk shrugged, and shook the scrying glass again. This time the glass showed Willow and the English professor together, surrounded by white candles, holding hands and chanting. "Perhaps the pronoun curse was a silly idea," the professor said. The professor leaned closer to Willow, and squeezed Willow's hands. "Never realized magic could be so sexy," the professor breathed in Willow's ear. "Must've been doing magic wrong all this time."
Eyes reflecting the candlelight, Willow shivered.
"Arghh!" the ball screamed.
"More yarn?" a monk asked.
The yarn disappeared into the green glow, and the sound of clacking needles accompanied the discordant humming. "Fine. I'm ready. I'm calm. Totally calm," the glow said. "Show me Buffy."
The monk shook the scrying glass, and a new scene appeared.
The clacking stopped. "The world is so fucked," The Key said.
.
.
Meanwhile, in a trailer on the other side of town...
.
With Angel tied up in Spike's bathtub, pending verification that no souls had been lost in the process of the curse reversal, Spike and Buffy passed the time in the bedroom in new and increasingly creative ways.
Spike spooned marshmallow creme onto Buffy's stomach, and then licked the sticky mess clean.
"Mmmm," Buffy hummed. "Curse reversals are fun."
"Get no arguments here."
"Spike." Buffy sat up and looked Spike in the eye, fully serious. "And after today? Planning to go back to a life of mayhem and violence?"
Spike shrugged. "Don't rightly know what the future holds for ol' Spike, pet. Other than no more bloody clogging."
"Oh," Buffy said, disappointed. A moment had been shared – more than a moment. Much, much more than a moment. And now Buffy couldn't imagine going back to being enemies with Spike. "Planning to go back to Drusilla?"
"No," Spike said. "After the curse Dru did..." Spike shuddered. "Dru's punishment was over the line. Unforgivable. Think things with Dru are done for good."
Buffy felt a thrill of hope. "Angel will be going back to Los Angeles," Buffy said. "Once untied."
Spike searched Buffy's face. "No more Buffy and Angel forever?"
"A future is hard to imagine," Buffy said. "Especially when Angel has to be tied up afterwards every time, just in case. Probably would get old really fast."
"Could just keep the lout tied up," Spike said. "Permanently."
With identical expressions of interest, Spike and Buffy contemplated Spike's proposal. Then Buffy sighed. "Pretty sure good guys don't keep boyfriends chained up in a bathtub."
"But what about bad guys?" Spike said with an eyebrow waggle.
Buffy giggled, then turned serious again. "Angel has a new life. A life without Buffy. Angel has to leave. But... bad guys could stay in Sunnydale. And... maybe not be so bad? Maybe... maybe even work with the good guys?"
"Hmm," Spike said, decorating Buffy's stomach with another swirl of sticky goodness. "Have to think on this proposition. The benefits package is mighty tempting."
"Better than Riverdancing, right?"
"Much, much better," Spike agreed, and leaned down to lick Buffy clean.
.
.
.
A/N:
Challenge Requirements, as given by Puddinhead:
Due to a spell gone bad, Buffy is placed into Riley's body. Also, she has a serious fixation for all things Irish. Lucky Charms, Irish Spring, U-2. Spike comes to town as an understudy for Lord of the Dance - those Irish Clogging/Stomping people that make you want to hurt yourself. Buffy, as Riley, tries to charm him. This will culminate in a freaky 3-way with a leprechaun.
Must have: side story with a Xander-Giles love connection, Joyce needs to wear a lime green pantsuit and Dawn will become proficient at knitting.
Cannot have: pronouns.
Should be 7 chapters long with an epilogue that features marshmallow creme.
.
Check, check, check and check!