There were a few questions last chapter about Bella losing her virginity. Reminder: Pete, Ch. 24
Word Prompt: Hurt
Dialogue Flex: "I made an interesting discovery."
Using the provided snippet of dialogue, explore what comes to mind, be it a scene, a thought, or something else.
Something True
Hurt
This Winter into Spring
Whenever Edward or Bella say the word "walk," Biter jumps up from wherever he may be and prances over to the one who said the word.
He waits with a wagging tail for his leash to be clipped on.
Sometimes he gets to run around without his leash. Edward gives this loud, high-pitched, double-whistle to keep Biter from getting into the lake. The dog preoccupies himself with bugs and critters in the dirt. He's more often than not trotting around with his nose to the ground, his tail high in the air.
He is certainly the cutest dog Bella has ever known. Sometimes she hugs him around his neck, and Biter will tolerate it for a little while before squirming away.
"Remember when you used to try to bite my face off?" she asks Biter, sitting on the wood floor nose to nose with him.
"Be careful with your face that close," Edward says. "He's still a puppy."
Bella stands and puts her arms around Edward's waist. She's only stopped by here on her way to Mrs. Cameron's. This is their last weekend before the deadline. Deliveries go out in three days.
Edward and Bella kiss a little, stopping before things get out of hand. They can do that later tonight, let things get out of hand.
Sighing, Edward relaxes his forehead against Bella's. He grabs his keys and Biter's leash, and they all go to his car. He'll drive Bella to Mrs. Cameron's, and stay for pastries while Biter chews on his dog bone out back
"I love having kids around again," Mrs. Cameron says, serving them apple fritters and milk. "I thought maybe one of these days Jared would give me a grandchild, but looks like he and his wife are going to try a separation instead." Joining them at the table she gives a shake of her head. "You two remember this: keep the ones you care about close."
"Maybe someday I'll have a baby you can spoil as a great-grandchild."
Bella doesn't realize the implications of what she's said until she looks at Edward's reddened face.
She kicks his foot under the table. "Shh."
"What? I didn't say anything."
Mrs. Cameron and Bella start laughing, Edward joining in a second later.
"That's nice," Mrs. Cameron says, patting Bella's hand. "Keep smiling at each other. Look each other in the eyes when you do it. Show you mean it."
Edward and Bella take a moment, locking eyes, and do just what she says. They're already smiling when their eyes meet, so all they do is maintain the smile.
Edward sticks around through some of the knitting, up until he gets tired of Little Lulu episodes. Kissing Bella, he says he'll be back for her later.
...
Enough kids have seen Edward and Bella together around town that talk at school has finally abated from the subject of teachers. Sometimes Rose's brother is mentioned, or a college guy, but that is fine with Bella. Because Paul likes to be an ass he does slip in a cheap shot, asking Bella how she can fuck around on Mr. Holt, the oldest teacher in the school. Then he shakes her shoulder like he's kidding and like they're friends. Bella yanks away from him.
Heading for her next class, she wonders about the rumors and their affect on her. Would she have been as affected if they hadn't been true? She thinks back to her old self, herself before Riley. She probably would've laughed the gossip away. She definitely would not have let herself fall victim to it.
If she had known then what she knows now her whole junior and senior years would've been so different. And that's only considering it from her end. How much differently would everyone else have reacted when their taunting didn't have the effect they'd hoped for.
She will not miss high school when it's over.
Though it has been weeks since she last marked a line at the base of her wall, maybe more than weeks. She doesn't take the time to count back or to fill in her missing tallies.
Because of a group project for Government, Bella meets Lauren and Bree at Lauren's house.
Bella is acutely aware of the fact that of anyone at school, Bree is the closest to knowing the truth. In Lauren's room, on her bed, the back of Bella's neck starts to perspire when Bree spills in her quiet voice how jealous all the girls are of Bella.
With narrowed eyes and creased brows, Bella tries to silently plead with Bree not to mention Mr. Biers.
She doesn't. She mentions Edward.
"Any girl who's ever seen him wants him."
"Not me," Lauren says. "He's all Bella's." She squeezes Bella's knee and slides her hand up her thigh until Bella slaps it away with a laugh.
...
Over breakfast on Wednesday, Bella's dad's face brightens and he sits taller. "U-Dub? Is that so? Thought you had your heart set on California."
He's in his uniform, due for work in less than thirty minutes. Bella chose this exact time to ask his permission to be excused from school on Friday to tour the University of Washington with Rose and her family. Bella's hope is that without much time to mull it over he'll answer in her favor.
"That was before."
"Before Edward?"
"Dad." Edward is part of it, of course, a huge part. But the main reason California looked so good to her was because of its distance. She wanted to put miles between herself and Forks. Now she has reasons not to run so far away. Edward, her dad, Mrs. Cameron, Rose. She would even add Alice, Lauren, and Jessica to the list if each of them weren't putting miles of their own between themselves and Forks. But they will be going away for the right reason. For school choice, not necessarily escape.
"Hey, you won't find me talking you out of my alma mater, you know that. Just make sure you think your decision through. Think about how you'll feel if something goes wrong between you and Edward."
"They have a high ranking fine arts program," Bella says. "And Seattle has all kinds of art communities."
"All kinds?"
"A lot. And Rose will be there, too. And what about you? Aren't you a good reason?"
"You know I'd keep you here in this house if I could."
"Plus," Bella says, "it's more affordable. I won't have to take out as much in student loans."
"All great arguments."
"So, can I go?"
"When is this?"
"Friday."
Scratching his chin, he raises his gaze to the ceiling. "I'd like to take you. I want this experience with you. Got room for one more?"
He wants to experience this with her? Bella is unprepared for how his declaration fills her chest. She doesn't lament how this will cut in to alone-time with Edward, or how it might hinder her freedom for Friday night. All she can feel is touched and elated, and even some kind of relief from something she wasn't aware she needed relieved.
"That would be the best thing," she says.
...
They leave before five on Friday morning.
Bella rides with her dad. Edward and Biter ride with his family.
Throughout the drive Bella keeps turning around to look for the Cullens' SUV, but even if she spots it, she can't see Edward. She imagines Biter resting his chin in Edward's lap while Edward strokes him.
Bella and her dad talk about his experience at college, a conversation that dwindles when he comes to the part where he met her mother. At some point Bella gets brave and talks her dad into letting her go to Emmett's party later. In fact, it doesn't take much convincing at all. She's somewhat shocked at how easy it is.
"Bella," he says, "as much as I'd like to deny it, you're eighteen years old. You'll be out of the house in a few months. As long as you're safe and not breaking the law, I trust you to go out, have a good time, and make the right choices."
"But my curfew," she says. "I thought..."
"Your curfew is set because I don't want you having sleepovers with your boyfriend. Not while living in my house. I'm a father and I have my limits when it comes to you. But I'm not naive to this thing called life. I'm out in the real world every day, witnessing—sometimes in a week—more than most people will witness their entire lives. The less I know about what's going on in your, um, romantic life, the better."
"Dad, that's enough of that."
"Thank you." He pretends to wipe sweat from his forehead. Or maybe he is sweating. Life experience, or police chief experience, evidently doesn't make it any easier for a father to discuss his daughter's sexlife with her. "But it's just a party tonight. You'll be sleeping in our hotel room."
Bella has to laugh at the way he treats her like an adult and a child in the same conversation.
...
During the campus tour Edward puts his arm around Bella in front of her dad, he holds her hand in front of him, and he even kisses her in front of him, but not on the lips.
Bella's sure Edward must be bored since he has no need for a tour. Maybe that's why he keeps toying with her fingers and pulling the back of her hand up to his lips.
The third or fourth time he kisses her hand in five minutes, Bella's dad clears his throat, and both Edward and Bella try to stifle laughs that become impossible to hold back when they look at each other.
Rose turns to Bella. "Pay attention," she says sternly, followed by a giggle of her own.
Edward points out quiet places to study and shortcuts that Bella won't remember. Her dad points out things that have changed around campus since he was a student. He seems excited and ten years younger.
After the tour they have time to do some shopping before dinner. Edward doesn't come along. He heads to Emmett's apartment to check on Biter. No dogs are allowed in their hotel.
"Having a dog is like having a kid," Esme said just before Edward left.
Downtown, Bella finds a clothing sale and her dad buys her a couple of new shirts and dresses. She's slowly building a new wardrobe for herself. There are dresses hanging in her closet that she'll never wear again.
Rose finds a couple of vinyl albums at the music store Edward told them about. He used to teach piano lessons to kids in the back room. Bella tries to peek back there behind the guitars lined up against the wall, but the door is closed.
After a break and changing into more formal attire, they all dine together at a nice Italian restaurant, dark and lit by candles. Carlisle and Esme have met Bella's dad plenty of times, but this is the first time they're hanging out together without Bella's mother. It could get awkward if someone mentions her, but for Bella, it also gets awkward when nobody does. In a different world, Bella wouldn't mind having both her parents here with her for this experience the way Rose has hers.
She doesn't dwell on that, though.
She dwells more on Edward dressed in his white button down and black pants. The waves in his hair look like they're waiting for her to run her fingers through them.
"You two girls," Esme says, after wine for everyone but Rose and Bella is poured. "Should talk this one into joining you." She motions to Edward. "Finish up his last year of school. One more year." She shakes her head. "One more."
Edward shifts beside Bella. She feels his index finger trace back and forth on her thigh through her tights.
"School isn't for everyone," Bella's dad says. "Renee never finished either."
Now Bella shifts. Edward's finger stops. She wraps her hand around it. It's nice of her dad to speak up for Edward, not so nice to compare him to her mother.
"Sure, sure," Carlisle says, maybe for no reason but to relieve the tension. It doesn't really work. For a time after that all that can be heard at their table is the tinkling of silverware on plates.
Bella can feel Edward's leg bobbing beside her. His index finger she's holding curves around all of hers. He leans down toward her ear. "You look beautiful."
"I just got this dress today," she says, grinning.
"The dress is beautiful, too." He doesn't take his gaze off hers.
Her grin fades and her eyes fill.
"You're beautiful," she whispers, and she hopes he hears it because she means it. She can't look into his eyes, though, to be sure he heard because she knows her tears will fall, and this is not the place.
...
Emmett's apartment is decorated in mint. Mint curtains, a mint sofa, mint cushions on the two stools at the counter facing the kitchen cut out. Even mint lampshades. It doesn't look like a college guy's apartment at all. Edward explains that Emmett's mom decorated the place. Since she was paying for it all, they let her do what she wanted.
"You can always tell when she's been here," Edward says, " because she leaves green apples in a basket on the counter."
It isn't really a party yet. It's a small gathering of friends at this point, so Bella can't miss it when Angela walks into the apartment. Over by the balcony door, Bella automatically leans back against Edward who circles his arm around her waist and whispers, "Sorry" in her ear.
Bella steps out of Edward's embrace. She doesn't want to look this dependent on him.
"Hi, Angela," she says. With a small smile, Angela waves and then practically jumps on Emmett's roommate, hugging him.
Bella turns to face Edward who drops his hand to her waist.
"Drink?" he asks.
"Beer," she says. While they plan on taking a taxi back to their hotel, she still won't drink anything that will leave a strong smell on her breath.
Edward veers around the corner to the refrigerator for two beers and they take them and their coats out to the balcony with Biter. They remain out there, playing with the dog until he seems relaxed enough to go inside with the crowd, which has grown considerably.
Biter sniffs at legs and gets plenty of attention, his tail wagging.
Bella notices that Rose has been by Emmett's side since they got here. With a huge, but dangerous looking grin, Emmett lifts Rose over his shoulders which makes her shriek, which makes Biter bark.
Rose is holding the end of her skirt tight to her legs.
"Hey, dude," Emmett says to the dog, settling Rose back down on her feet. "You're on my turf." He scruffs Biter's throat and the back of his ear.
Bella walks over to them by the sofa and gives Rose an elbow bump and an eyebrow raise. Rose just smiles back.
When Emmett steps outside for a smoke, Rose turns to Bella as if questioning what she should do. Bella motions for her to go with him.
"I can't just follow him."
Through the balcony door, Emmett calls back, "Coming, Rose?"
Bella watches Rose's smile grow like a weed.
Biter follows them outside.
Her beer now empty, Bella heads to the kitchen for a new one. The entire kitchen can't be seen from the living room. The cut-out over the counter reveals a bit of the cabinets and part of the refrigerator, but Bella can see enough. Edward is in there with Angela.
She walks around the corner, standing behind Angela who is in the middle of asking Edward to do something he clearly—judging by the near-disgusted look on his face—doesn't want to do.
"It's over," Edward is saying. "It's been over. I don't know how many more ways there are to make that clear."
"It's clear," Angela says. "It just doesn't seem right for me to graduate without you there. We started here together, it only seems right to end with you here."
Edward shifts his eyes to Bella and Angela turns around. She brings her hand up to her chest like she always used to do when she fiddled with her necklace. But there's no necklace there now.
"Would you let him come?" she asks Bella.
"To your graduation?'
"You could come too."
Bella frowns at her and has to hold back a sarcastic laugh. She knows there is no way Angela wants her there. "Do you want to go?" Bella asks Edward.
In the sliver of the moment between her question and his answer, Bella hates the feeling that comes over her. She recalls what Lauren said about Edward being all hers, but right now, he doesn't feel all hers; it's more like she's borrowing him for the time being and is expected to give him back.
"Not even a little," Edward says.
"Okay." Angela nods. "I get that you don't care about me anymore. You've made that very obvious no matter what I've done or how much I've apologized for hurting you. But you really want to spend your time with a high schooler? When we were at your parents' house and she was with your sister, you used to-"
"Fuck off, Angela." Edward reaches past Angela, takes Bella's fingers and pulls her over to him. "Whatever I said about Rose and her friends last year is nothing compared to what I've said or thought about you. I mean, we can stand here and compare notes if you want."
Angela turns and walks out of the kitchen. Bella breathes easier. Edward spins her around so her back is to the wall and he leans down until they're forehead to forehead. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he whispers.
"I know." She brings her fingers to his scruff-free jaw.
"She was talking about that time I ran into you in the hallway and you were drunk."
"Edward, stop. I don't want to compare notes either. I liked that, when you caught me from falling. I don't want that tainted with the thought of you laughing at me. Even though, yeah, it was probably funny."
"Okay." He gives her a beer-flavored kiss. "But I didn't laugh at you. I just remembered what stupid things I used to do when I was a junior. Not that I thought you were stupid. I was. That's my point."
"Shh."
"Can I just tell you one more thing?"
"What?"
"You're the only person I love."
"What about your family?" Bella smiles.
"All right, you're the only person outside of my family I love. How's that?"
"That's good." She slides her hand from his face to his neck and pulls him to her lips. He kisses her until she breaks away. "She's right about my age, though. Even my dad told me I'm a kid compared to you."
"Yeah, but you're-"
"Don't say mature."
"I was going to say, you." He kisses her again, this time, really kissing her. The hand that isn't around his neck seems to find its own way to the bottom of his shirt and up and under it to his bare stomach, touching, sweeping along the soft hair there. His hand catches hers and he stops his kiss with a breathy laugh and a "Bella, Bella. You make me want all of you right here." He kisses her, pecks her lips, once more before backing up.
Without his kiss on her lips, without his low voice in her ear, and without the darkness of his shadow over her, she's reminded they're in an apartment full of people.
They go back out to the living room, weaving between people to the sofa where Edward pulls her down to sit between his legs. He wraps his arms around her middle, still holding his beer, and with his chin, he nudges her hair out of the way to kiss her neck. She relaxes against him.
Though she isn't looking at Angela, Bella's aware of where she's standing by the balcony and that she's staring at Bella and Edward.
Bella excuses herself from Edward and heads right to Angela.
"Look," she says. "I don't know if you think you're better than me because you're older, or in college, or because Edward was your boyfriend first. But you messed that up. You made a choice for whatever reason, and losing him was a consequence of that. And now he's with me and you have no control over him. So just... let him go. Because he deserves that, but also because-" she lowers her voice "-you're kind of making a fool of yourself."
Zombie-like, Angela walks past Bella. Through the reflection of the glass door, Bella can see that Edward is right behind her. She turns around. He's looking at her with this goofy kind of grin on his face, like he's proud of her.
"Did you just claim me?"
She hooks her finger between two buttons of his shirt and looks down, embarrassed that he heard her.
She can feel him bend closer, feel his breath in her ear. "After that, how am I supposed to get through this night without you in my bed, under me? Or actually, after that, on top of me."
Chills run up Bella's body and she meets his eyes, glassy green. "Edward." She breathes out.
With fingers to his lips he shakes his head. "You don't even know what you do to me, do you? What you just did to me. I have to wait until tomorrow night?"
If it's anything close to what his words are doing to her right now, she has a pretty good idea of what he means.
...
They don't leave until most of the party is cleared out and after they take Biter for a long walk. As Esme suggested earlier, just like he's a kid, they kiss him goodbye, and Bella, Rose, and Edward go down to meet their taxi.
Hands clasped, Edward walks Bella to her room where he kisses her goodbye. None of the feelings they had after her confrontation with Angela have ebbed. If anything, they've intensified. They try for just a peck, as if that's possible. As soon as their lips meet it's like an electrical surge, and their kiss is heavy, deep. Edward's pressing Bella up against the wall, climbing his hands up and all over her dress.
He lifts her leg around him and runs his fingers up her thigh. Moaning into her neck he pushes his hips into hers which makes her stomach jump. Does he know how that feels to her? Is that why he does it? Or does it feel the same to him?
"Shh," she says, and then kisses him. "If my dad hears-"
"You, shh," he says. "Don't bring up your dad at a time like this." He dots kisses down her neck to her shoulder. "Come to my room."
"With Rose?"
"I'll send her to my parents' room."
"Yeah, that's sly... and mean."
He laughs and kisses her. "I know." Still holding her leg around him he rubs himself against her again and again, only amplifying their heart rates, making the torture worse for both of them.
Hands to his chest she pushes him back and lets her foot fall to the floor to steady herself. They stare at each other catching their breath. Bella tries not to think about the ache in her breasts and between her legs.
She straightens her dress and her hair and then crosses her arms over her chest. "I think we need showers."
"You're telling me." He leans in for another kiss but she stops him, again with a hand to the chest. He takes that hand and kisses her knuckles. "Goodnight, Bella."