Please do not deplore yourself.
Even if the world does not forgive you, I will forgive you.
Please do not deplore yourself.
Even if you do not forgive the world, I will forgive you.
So please tell me.
What will it take for you, to forgive me?
-Frederica Bernkastel, When The Cicadas' Cry
Chapter Nine
-The UNIX Home Base-
This was it.
The final confrontation.
Andrew felt nervous. He should feel nervous, Chelsea said.
But then... why wasn't he scared? Chelsea was scared. She said she was. But him... he wasn't. Should he be... scared?
"If I can rip open a hole in the fabric of space time with that screwdriver, then we can reach the Doctor." She rambled on about quantum physics and the like, while Andrew simply sat in silence pondering where they were now.
He and Chelsea... didn't belong in the same universe. And if his universe had it's own counterpart of her... would he still like her? Obviously being pulled through to another universe changed her. Just like it changed him, from an asshole to a more reserved person.
But... had he actually done anything at all? No. He had been utterly useless in the situation before. But now... he could change that. He could help save the Doctor. Now, instead of him chasing them, they were chasing after him... to save him. Unlike the Doctor's original motive, which was to capture them and hold them hostage in his TARDIS.
But without the Doctor, every universe will die.
"Andrew, hold the screwdriver in your hand tightly." Chelsea ordered him, holding the silver tube up. He grabbed onto it, breath hitching when he felt a tiny pulse resonate through it. It's... alive?
Chelsea narrowed her eyes and ground her feet into the floor, tiny beads of sweat collecting on her forehead. She moved her hands and their eyes widened when the entire room seemed to disappear from around them.
Andrew gazed around the nothingness from around them, the utter darkness surrounding them on either side. How were they still alive and breathing if there was nothing there?
"I see you have found my lair, lower beings." An ancient voice echoed around them, as sharp as time and as melancholy as death.
"Step closer into the darkness, and I shall feast upon your lovely bodies of meat and bone." The voice called out warningly, and Andrew gulped.
Chelsea seemed indifferent. "I'm flattered you think so highly of my body. Say, what an attractive voice you have!"
Andrew gagged. She was obviously trying to please the Old Man so that they would live... or something. But... where was the Doctor?
"Flattery will not work against a being as ancient as me, foolish mortal! I see you are wondering where the Doctor has wandered off to... I have lost him somewhere in the dark. But I will find him, and once I do... I shall devour his Time Energy and erase him from his pitiful existence! And you shall watch me rise from the ashes of this forgotten world, and I shall bring chaos to this reality!"
Chelsea glared at him. "And poetry won't work against us "foolish mortals" either, Old Man."
Andrew felt his ears bleed as that horrible screech filled his eyes, and he gasped in pain.
The Old Man seemed to take notice of this. "Yes... Andrew... feel the harsh caressing of my hands as it grazes the very outskirts of your mind! Andrew... and Chelsea. Oh, but there are still so many possibilities! I could pull anyone out of their realities! All of you are my... Instruments of Reality. I can play you which ever way I choose, and you can't stop me!"
Andrew squared his shoulders and finally spoke out. "Look, I don't care about this anymore. We will find the Doctor, and we will defeat you. You won't be able to change reality anymore!"
The Old Man's laugh rang out, deep and depressing across the infinite black. "Why don't we play a game then, Andrew Evans? Find the Doctor before me, and I might give you a chance against me. But, fail to find that pathetic soul, and I shall smite you from all of time itself!"
Andrew nodded. "It's a deal, Chelsea-"
She was gone. Andrew spun around, anger marring his features. "What did you do to her!?"
He could feel the leer even without looking at it's face. "Oh, I simply can't have her be in the way of our little game, now can I? So, I simply hid her away for a bit. Oh wait... I have an excellent idea! Think of this as a little motivation to find the Doctor, hm?"
Andrew was horrified as the anguished screams of Chelsea filled the room. He could hear something slamming against her, and his breath almost stopped when she let out a horrific sob.
He clasped his hands together. "What... what are you doing to her?"
There was a chuckle. "Does eternal torture ring a bell, Andrew? Of course, I can't really put her in for eternity, that's impossible. But instead, every second for her feels like a lifetime, every minute the life of a Time Lord. Every hour... no use on talking about that when you'll probably be dead within ten minutes, right?"
Andrew gripped the sonic screwdriver in his hand tighter. "No. I'll survive, I know I will. And I will save Chelsea!"
He slammed his foot into the ground as he took off on a mad sprint into the darkness, blind and without a path.
Chelsea... he had to save her. The Doctor... he also had to save her. He thought he was useless... this was what he got. The responsibility of all of reality. If he failed in this task, then nobody would be able to live again. They would all die.
Which was why he had to make sure that he won. It wasn't just a matter of pride anymore, this was a matter of life and death. Black and white.
The shadows around him seemed to taunt him with every step he took, and he swore he could see the anguished faces of those who vanished staring back at him. He could see his mother as well. His father. Shelly. Joel. All of the people he loved. Chelsea. Even his old dog who had died two years before. They were all there, joined with him.
Perhaps... they actually were watching over him? Cheering him on. He could almost feel the gentle caressing of their hands against his skin, their whispered compliments.
"We will always love you, no matter what..." His mother's voice echoed around him, undertoned by his own father's.
What if... this was just hell? What if he actually had died in that plane crash, and this was really just the afterlife? A more personalized afterlife.
He didn't want to be here anymore. He wanted to feel loved. He wanted to feel safe. But now... he was most likely going to die. And nobody would bat an eye, least of all the Doctor. His parents already thought he was dead, because of the plane explosion. He wouldn't even be able to die in a pleasant location. He would just be surrounded by the eternal darkness, lingering at the edge of his consciousness like a knife cutting into a steak.
This was his punishment, perhaps.
This was his way of atonement.
Was that a light up ahead? He was ready, he knew it. He was ready to save the Doctor.
Oh wait... that was a trick of his eyes. A simple illusion. Caused by... his dying brain?
No. he couldn't be dying.
That would be a horrific lie... but what if it was true? What if he actually was being melted by fire, as his brain graudually turned to mush? What is this darkness was just him losing the ability to conjure up memories of places?
But... that couldn't possibly be true. He was still thinking such vivid thoughts, he was still so lucid.
No. All he could focus on now was the Doctor. Only the Doctor. No other thoughts could exist at this moment. He must win.
...
So why did nothing feel real?
"Andrew." The Doctor's voice echoed behind him, and Andrew spun around to face the grim sight of a spirit, fading away from the universe.
"I was too late!" Andrew cried out, his hands slamming against his forehead.
The apparition simply smiled sadly. "Actually, no you weren't. Or I should say aren't. I always get those two mixed up..."
Andrew blinked in confusion. "But... what do you mean?"
The ghost of the Doctor sighed. "I am simply the projection of a future version of me. And I must say... you did not fail."
Andrew rubbed his hands. "I... didn't? That's... that's good."
The ghost shook his head. "I'm warning you though. That victory... comes at a terrible price. And I must say, in advance... because I was too late to say it before... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Andrew felt his heart stop. "What is that even supposed to mean?" He whispered to the spirit infront of him.
The Doctor's projection only frowned in sorrow. "You'll know soon. And I just want to say... I tried to stop him. But... it didn't work."
Andrew felt like screaming when the vision faded, and he stomped his feet down onto the ground. "No. This... can't be happening! It can't! A terrible price!"
He sprinted off into the dark, again.
Yes. That was what he was meant to do all along!
He was always travelling. He knew it that whole time. Travelling... towards the dark.
A terrible price. He died, then. Or maybe his universe vanished. Something horrible was going to happen.
...
"Andrew! Finally, somebody that I know!" The Doctor moaned infront of him, and Andrew lifted his eyes to be gifted with the sight of the Oncoming Storm dressed in nothing more than filthy underwear.
"What the hell are you doing in only those?"
The Doctor winked at him. "Oh, the Old Man simply made my clothes vanish! A mad old feller, that thing is!"
Andrew scrunched up his fists. "I walked through hell to get here, and I have to see you standing there practically naked!?"
The Doctor sighed. "Actually, this feels quite nice on the skin. I didn't know void energy could feel so enlightening!" He sniffed.
Andrew gasped. "We're in the void? How is that possible? How are we still alive?"
The Doctor grimaced. "The Old Man manufactured a portion of it to his liking. He is able to manipulate void energy. Basically, manipulate matter that shouldn't exist!"
Andrew rolled his eyes, and crossed his arms. "Talking about the Old Man... what is he, exactly?"
The Doctor sniffed. "I'll tell you and Chelsea later."
Andrew groaned. "I will punch you in the face if you don't stop keeping secrets about him!"
The Doctor raised his hands as if to tame a wild animal. "Okay. I'll tell you then. But beware... I don't know why I just said beware, that was just a spur of the moment thing. Tell you what, why don't we have nice sit-down and talk this through?"
Andrew rubbed his hands through his hair. "Yes, yes. We can just put on a nice cuppa' tea and dress up in our fine clothes. We don't have time for that shit right now."
The Doctor shoved his hands into his pockets.
"Okay then... the Old Man is a being from before the universe was created... though I'm sure you already suspected that. But... he is even more powerful than even the Great Intelligence. The Old Man... he was only a legend on Gallifrey. The Old Man's real name is Hishtus. His name is carved through the time vortex, and if you even speak his name in another reality... he will know. He is the most omniscient being in all of creation... except for in his domain. You see, this part of the void is an eternal prison for the Hishtus, but it wasn't the Time Lords who sealed him away."
"Then who was it?"
The Doctor's face was grim. "The Ancient Ones. They had locked him inside here to fester in his own misery for all of eternity, but something went wrong. He was omniscient for everything. He knows everything about everyone, every secret, every story ever told. He knows about every timeline in existence. All he had to do was gaze at the prison from the outside, and he could see the cracks. So he broke through. He already knew about me. You see, the thing is... The Time Lords are connected to Hishtus."
Andrew spat. "What?" This was never in the lore for Doctor Who. This was entirely made up... right?
"All things in the universe have remnants of Hishtus in them. But... there was also his opposite brother. His brother was the one you humans called Yahweh, or God."
Andrew shook his head. "But... all the scripture. The Bible. It-"
"-Still has some truth in it. Satan and God. Except, in this, Hishtus could be considered the fallen angel. And yet, he is still the most powerful being in all of creation."
...
"So... Hishtus could be considered Satan?"
"Exactly."
"But he doesn't exactly have fire and pits of lava."
The Doctor shook his head. "Andrew, the worst thing about this is the simple fact that we cannot destroy Hishtus, because all of reality shall unravel if we do. He is connected to every single strand of time, every single atom of our existence. To even cut him would have disastorous consequences."
Andrew scratched his head. "But... if he is so powerful... why did he need to erase you from existence in order to take over everything?"
The Doctor glared down at the floor. "Because... I am the only being capable of stopping him. He perceived me as a threat to his victory, and so he conspired against me. Tricked every one of you into walking into your demise. You probably saw him right before you were pulled through, right? He may have created some lie, saying he was a grandfather or something."
Andrew nodded. "That was exactly what he did. I said he looked like a wizard the first time I saw him."
The Doctor smiled weakly. "The sad part about that is that it actually does hold some truth. He could be considered a wizard in some aspects."
"And you could be considered a horrible person too, Doctor!" Hishtus' voice screamed out around them, and Andrew glanced behind him to finally view the true form of Hishtus'.
What was that?
Andrew couldn't exactly tell what the thing infront of him was. It looked like a large snake, but it was constantly shifting and moving. Like a corrupted video. From it's jaws dripped black poison, and it's eyes were a sickly red colour.
"I see you have finally discovered what I am, Andrew!"
Andrew scoffed. "Hardly. I'm still confused about so many things."
The Doctor coughed behind him. "It's better that way. You don't want to know how this thing devours it's victims."
Andrew kept his mouth shut about how the Doctor had killed people in other timelines. It wouldn't do good to antagonize him at the time.
Hishtus' eyes narrowed. "Aren't you worried about your dear friend Chelsea? I'm done playing games with you, Andrew. All this eternity, I've been festering in my own guilt. My own blood. My own depression. Why did I draw the joker of this world, the complete evil card? Since I can't change it... I'm going to take my anger out by killing her. And you will be able to see. Every. Second. Of. It!"
Andrew cried out. "No! Please!"
...
Chelsea appeared infront of them, bound by chains. She simply lied on the ground, her eyes wide with terror.
"Andrew," She whispered, glancing over at him.
Andrew tried to respond, but he found he couldn't open his mouth. Chelsea simply frowned at him.
"It's okay if you can't speak, Andrew. I just want... I just want you to know... you were the best friend I had in a long time."
Hishtus slithered it's way over her, long knife-like claws pointing out. It leered at her, it's eyes turning black with excitement.
"Yes..." She whispered. "This is how I die. Disembowelment. Fitting, since I saved so many people from that very same fate. But... I must be strong. I will be strong. I will watch the face of my enemy as he carves his name into my very soul. I shall die with the thought of you in my face."
Hishtus growled. "Foolish girl. I shall simply rip out your intestines and hang them above you like sausage! I shall sink my teeth into your flesh and devour your energy of time, I shall eat your ability to rip through reality."
Andrew covered his mouth and screamed when it's claws ripped into her chest, Chelsea letting out a bloodcurdling scream. He could see... he could see... the inside of her body. Her lungs. Her stomach. Her intestines slowly being lifted out-
"So this is how you get your anger out?" The Doctor asked through gritted teeth. "By murdering a girl? That's your way? You know what I think? That's the cowards way. The real man would talk it out."
Hishtus rumbled. "I am a great monolith of strength! I am the great symbol of all existence. This girl shall only be the footnote to my magnificence. Pathetic creatures, humans are. Sacks of meat and bone. I could rip through them at the speed of an incoming train, could tear through the flesh with the strength of a wolverine."
The Doctor pursed his lips. "So, then. How does it taste?"
Hishtus grinned wolfishly. "Like victory!"
Andrew narrowed his eyes. "Not if I can help it. You just... murdered Chelsea." He swayed on the spot, glancing over her still body.
Best friend she had in a long time. He was going to stop Hishtus. He was going to avenge Chelsea's death now.
He spun around to face the Doctor. "How do we seal him away forever?"
The Doctor blinked. "Er... we could... seal off the void permanantly if I reverse the polarity of my quantam data-matrix and re-route it to the primary time valves located at the bottom..." He kept going, having his techno-babble speech.
Andrew waved his hand. "Can we do it fast?"
The Doctor nodded. "Of course. All we need is the TARDIS."
Andrew scrambled to get the screwdriver out of his pocket. "Will this work?"
The Doctor grinned. "Yes. All you need to do is hit that switch on the top there, and we should be back in the facility. My TARDIS is in there."
Hishtus roared above them. "Going down without a fight, Doctor? After giving a grand and formal speech about cowardice? Sealing away your opponent instead of fighting him properly like a man? Oh wait, but is it that guilt?"
The Doctor froze in the spot, his eyes slowly turning towards Hishtus. "What?"
The demon leered. "That ever present guilt, hidden at the back of your mind. The genocide of your own race. The delusions of grandeur you faced after the fact, telling yourself it was okay. While in reality, you were a horrible coward. Killing your own race in order to stop the enemy? Pitiful."
Andrew pulled on the Doctor's arm. "It's just trying to bait you on..." He hissed.
The Doctor shook his head. "No. This isn't just baiting anymore." He turned to face Hishtus, glaring with all the might of the Oncoming Storm. "This is full-blown psychological warfare. You know, I've never liked the word 'war'".
Exasperated, Andrew slammed his hand down onto the sonic screwdriver. He had enough of the long lectures and speechs. They were cool to watch, but actually being there was a different story. It was too intense for his liking.
They were both transported back infront of the Doctor's TARDIS, and Andrew was immediately face to face with the Doctor.
"What did you transport us back for?" The Doctor spat, his eyes spewing fire.
Andrew glared back at him. "Because we kind of have to seal Hishtus away."
The Doctor opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the entire facility rocking in an explosion.
"In the TARDIS, now!"
Andrew stumbled through the blue doors, still momentarily shocked by the size. Which was odd, since he had been in there only a year before.
The Doctor sprinted over to the console, hopping over a few strewn items. Andrew grimaced upon seeing a medical table just inside the entrance to the corridors.
The Doctor, noticing his discomfort, sighed. "Look, I know how much of a betrayal that was. But please, can you just... forgive me?"
Andrew nodded, his throat sore. "Yeah. I already did, before everybody vanished."
The Doctor smiled weakly. "Okay. Thank you."
"I will not lose this game, Doctor!" Hishtus' voice rang out through the TARDIS, and Andrew cried out as the entire ship shook. He grasped one of the coral struts and hung on tight, glancing around wildly as the lights flickered.
The Doctor was quick at work attaching two cables, and Andrew screamed at him. "Hurry! Before something horrible happens!"
The Doctor gritted his teeth. "I'm as fast as I can. Wait! Grab that brass tube over there!"
Andrew scurried over to the other side of the console, and pointed at the pipe pointing up. The Doctor nodded and gestured for him to hurry up.
Andrew hissed through his teeth and tossed the tube to the Doctor, who quickly pasted it on his... whatever the thing was supposed to be.
"What the hell is that thing?" Andrew blurted out, arms crossed. The Doctor glared up momentarily before clearing his throat.
"This is a device that will seal up every crack into the void. Luckily for us, this facility was already located in void space-"
"I'm sorry?" Andrew clutched his heart. They were... already in void space? How was that possible?
We don't know who built this facility. I could kiss the person who created it, though...
"But... this facility... is surrounded by farmland?"
The Doctor shrugged. "Obviously somebody was looking out for you. Maybe a higher being?"
Andrew felt queasy as he sat down in the jump seat. The Doctor banged around for a few more seconds before finally uttering a final "Allons-y!"
He yelped as the entire TARDIS was thrown about and the screaming- oh God, the screaming -echoed around them.
"No! This cannot be the end! Help! Help! My wingtips have turned to stone, my breath has turned to ice! What is this? What is this... encasement around me? This emptiness... this loneliness. My fears have solidified in this darkness, and my eyes have already grown tired of the absence of light!"
The Doctor sneered in the TARDIS. "Well, too bad!"
With one final push of a button, Hishtus let out an agonizing scream as the TARDIS was seperated from the void, and the cracks were sealed.
Andrew felt his entire being be filled with warmth as the cold left his body. He felt happiness surround him as the comforting lights of the TARDIS blinked around him...
"Ahhhh!" The Doctor cried out nearby, and Andrew lifted his head in concern. The Doctor's entire form was rippling, and Andrew could see his tears streaming down his face.
Andrew understood now. When Hishtus had been controlling everything, their emotions had been suppressed. Not entirely, but still mostly suppressed. Now, he could feel the full tragedy of that days events. Chelsea was gone forever. Dead, in the abyss of the void. She had no corpse. Nobody knew her. Except for him and the Doctor.
The Doctor would be lonely, so lonely. Andrew would probably have to stay with him so-
"Doctor, my Doctor." A familiar voice drifted nearby, and the Doctor's head shot up.
"Is... is that you?"
Andrew gaped as Rose Tyler stepped into the room, her face bright and smiling as if nothing had happened at all.
The Doctor gulped down tears. "But... how are you here? Hishtus had erased you from existence-"
Rose laughed, a sweet angelic thing in light of everything that had happened. "Oh, Doctor. Don't you know the laws of physics? No energy can be destroyed. And certainly..." She stepped closer to grasp his hand. "Not the energy of love."
If Andrew was still in his own universe, he would have scoffed at the cheesy line displayed before him. But instead, he was filled with relief but also despair. The Doctor had somebody. They got their happy ending. So... what did he get?
The Doctor sputtered at the proclamation, and wiped away the dirt from his face. "I guess I forgot that one tiny part," He admitted, blinking away tears.
Rose tilted her head towards Andrew. "And... what about him?"
The Doctor blinked. "What... about him?"
Rose swept her blonde hair out her face and leaned in. "What are you going to do to help Andrew from now on, Doctor?"
The Doctor seemed to straighten himself up and he spun around to face the console, leaving Andrew and Rose to awkwardly stand around and exchange greetings.
"Well... it seems a pathway had opened up, Andrew. One passage back to a certain universe." The Doctor raised his chin, his eyes glazing over.
Andrew felt relief wash over him. "You mean... I can finally go home?"
The Doctor nodded. "Not only that, when you get back it will have only been moments before you got here."
Impending panic filled Andrew, and he grabbed at his hair. "But the plane crash!"
Shaking his head, the Doctor approached Andrew. "Never happened. When we sealed Hishtus away, it affected your reality. He never appeared there. Infact, if my calculations are correct, then you will be in Paris by tonight."
Andrew blinked. "So... Hishtus was responsible for the deaths of over a thousand people in a plane explosion?"
The Doctor shook his head. "That was an aborted timeline. This is the new and improved one. Your girlfriend Shelly will still be alive, your best friend Joel... everything will have been righted up again."
Feeling at ease, Andrew stood up. "Will my memories of everything that happened... still exist?"
The Doctor nodded. "Oh, yes! Like Rose said, no energy can be destroyed. You can't permanantly erase memories, they can only be repressed. Besides, you're a time traveller! You will always have these memories from now on."
Andrew felt his eyes fill up and he shook the Doctor's hand. "Thank... thank you. For everything, really. It's been an honour to work with you."
The Doctor smiled. "It was my pleasure. And remember, Andrew..." The Doctor leaned in a way that reminded Andrew of his father. "You have your whole future ahead of you. Make it count."
Andrew gasped, his hand flying over his mouth. That was the same thing his father had said.
The Doctor made no comment to his reaction, only offering a small smirk as he twisted around and started to work on the controls.
Rose smiled at Andrew as she skipped over to the Doctor. Andrew felt both relieved and also pained at having to leave the only other person who knew about Chelsea. Maybe... he could invest more time in Shelly? She wasn't dead now. That never happened.
Nearby, Rose slowly repeated the verse of a poem he heard only months before...
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
-Dylan Thomas
A/N: Hello! I hope you guys all enjoyed this chapter! Like I said last chapter, this is only the second last one. Well, actually I guess this is the last chapter. The next one is an epilogue, so it will certainly be shorter than this. But still interesting. After I post the epilogue (probably tomorrow or the next day), I will start to work on somewhat of a spiritual sequel to this. Except, it will be more of the inversion to this idea. Imagine: You keep getting increasingly cryptic messages in the mail, all of which have to do with Doctor Who... but you don't know who is sending them. Interested? That one will also be a mystery (most likely a better one, because I'll be able to plan it out more).
Oh! Please leave a review on this chapter! Please! I want to hear some feedback on this one.
Have a wonderful week! ~soultrain21