What the hell? My Mom has a Top Secret mop journal hidden under a loosened floorboard? Check this out, I was shocked once I snuck a peek and read it. Here's a glance at the first entry I stumbled across:
Dear Mop, I'm sick of always cleaning up after these assholes. All they ever do is make messes. They always complain about me mopping all of the time. Well, I wouldn't have to if the lazy jack asses would only learn to clean up after themselves! Sometimes I think nobody will ever quite understand me the way that you do Mr. Mop. These last 10 years cleaning floors and mopping up messes together have been some of the best years of my life. Please do not become jealous if I sometimes use the Swiffer Sweeper, I have been in love with you since the moment I first laid eyes on you in the cleaning supplies aisle at Shop Rite. When my gaze fell upon your amazingly discounted price tag, I knew that we were meant t be together.