Hello, I've been so bad with updating all of my stories lately so I've decided on doing something where I update all of my stories at the same time. So well… that's kind of it.
TamJaspie: Thank you. I liked the part about the blanket as well. Well the thing is he doesn't really believe it's a dream he just hopes it is and tries to tell himself it is not to have to deal with harsh reality. But thanks for reading and reviewing. I'm glad you liked the chapter.
Gleekforever12345: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
K is for Kidney
"Hello" I shouted as I came inside the house late Wednesday night. "Ugh… I am so tired. Is there any dinner left or should I make something?" The house stayed silent. "Honey? Honey where are you?" I half shouted but there was still no answer and then I got worried. "Honey? Burt? Are you here?" I looked into each room to find out if Burt was in the kitchen, in his office or in the living room and then continued towards mine and Burt's bedroom.
Just as I took the door handle to our room I heard Alice whimpering from inside the room and I quickly pushed the door open to find Burt lying on his side in the bed with his head in his hand and sleeping tightly with the other hand wrapped into Alice's fur as she laid with her head on her front paws on top of the bed right by Burt.
"Honey…" I walked over and sat down on the edge of the bed lying my palm against his back rubbing his back. "Honey…" Burt groaned and looked up while he turned around, then turned again, and again, and again… "Honey are you okay?" Burt grimaced and pushed himself out of the bed and then started to walk back and forth sleepily.
"Honey." I stood up and grabbed his arm to have him stand still. "What's going on?" He sighed with one hand pressed towards the side of his back. "Is it your back that's hurting?" I walked by him and laid a hand slightly under his hand and rubbed it. "Do you want some painkillers?" He shook his head, then took a deep breath and finally started answering me.
"Yes it's my back." Burt pulled away and started walking again. "No, I've already taken some but they didn't help. And I don't really know what's going on. I suppose I sprained a muscle or something, it feels better when I'm moving." I frowned and asked if there was anything I could do. Burt shook his head. "No I don' think there's anything you could do honey. You just grab something to eat and go to bed- it's late. I'll move to the kitchen or somewhere.
I frowned, stood up and rubbed his arm before walking out of the room, hearing the pitter patter of Alice walking after me and her whimpering. "Hey girl." I kneeled down and scratched behind her ears but she only whimpered more and looked towards the bedroom door. "Daddy isn't feeling very well today. But you'll see he'll be fine in no time okay sweetie?" She whimpered slightly again and then walked downstairs and jumped up onto the couch where she laid with her head on her front legs and sighed deeply as I walked by. "Is it a hard life huh? Is being a dog quite exhausting?" She only looked up at me with her big, brown eyes as I let hear a short chuckle and walked into the kitchen to grab something to eat.
When I walked upstairs again Alice came after me and I heard the pitter patter of her claws towards the floor as she slowly walked after me up the stairs, through the hallway and into our room where I sat down on my side of the bed and watched Burt as he walked slowly back and forth leaned forward and with a hand towards the side of his back- and for a long time I would be amazed by the fact that I didn't realize there and then what it was Burt suffered from.
I warmed my hands holding them around my cup and blew on the hot tea to cool it down before I could drink it. "Maybe we should go to the hospital honey." I stated. "If you're in so much pain- there might be something seriously wrong." Burt moaned silently and shook his head.
"No I'm sure I just sprained a muscle…. You just go to bed honey. Don't worry and don't stay up for me okay? I'll get you if it gets worse." I nodded and took another sip from the cup. "I would kiss you now but one I don't think I should stop moving and two I don't think I can bend down that far." I frowned and felt another gust of worry with what this might be. "Don't worry honey. I'll come to bed when it gets better, I'm sure it will be in just a few hours at the most." I put my cup at the bedside table and stood up to kiss him before he walked out of the room. "And don't stay up for me, goodnight honey."
"Don't stay up for me" Well that was easier said than done. More than anything else I just wanted to stand up and walk after him down in the kitchen and then continued hearing his footsteps as he walked back and forth in the kitchen. I looked around for Alice but realized she had walked after Burt when I heard her claws towards the wood in the stairs and for the first time in so long- thank God- I was all alone- and felt all alone when I laid down and pulled the covers up to my chin.
"AH" Even though I hadn't believed I would be able to fall asleep I obviously had- but only just fell asleep when a shout from down in the kitchen woke me up and I jumped out of the bed and ran out of my room and down to the kitchen where I found Burt lying curled up on the kitchen floor.
"Honey." I sat down on my knees by him and rubbed his head- feeling his forehead sweating cold. "Honey what's going on?" Burt turned his head away from my head and turned again and continued rolling over, over and over and over again. "Where does it hurt honey?" Burt still didn't answer but I sprung in action and grabbed the phone to call nine, one, one.
"Emergency services what's your emergency?"
"I… I…" Suddenly I didn't really know what to say. "M- My husband… he's in a lot of pain. He needs an ambulance… p- please hurry… we're at- at 415 Whitman Avenue… please hurry." I vaguely heard something about that they had an ambulance in our area but didn't really have vision or hearing for anything else than my husband that laid and turned and twisted in pain in front of me.
"I'm gonna be sick." Burt suddenly moaned and I threw the phone at the floor and reached for one of the lowest drawers, opened it and pulled out a plastic bag that I held towards the floor under his cheek just in time before he started heaving, and just as he was finished I heard the sirens of an ambulance and almost started laughing with relief as I saw the lights of it in the dark and saw it coming up the road to us.
"It's okay honey." I said with my voice almost breaking. "It's okay, the ambulance is here they're… they'll find out what's wrong and make it go away." I sighed and for a moment the thought hit me that it maybe wouldn't be that simple- it hadn't been that simple when it was… I shook the thought off and forced myself to think about Burt just as I could see the paramedics coming up the driveway and stood up to go and unlock the door.
"Carole?" The paramedics knew me from the ER and the one speaking was the paramedic- and my good friend Lara McKellar. I nodded and stepped away, all of my senses seemed to be turned off during the next while as suddenly the only thing I could see was from the morning Finn died, I did my best to pull myself back to reality but for some reason it just wasn't possible before Michael- the other paramedic spoke my name as them two took stern grips of the gurney and lifted it up. I started following them but as we came into the hallway I heard Alice whimper behind me.
"If you want to…" Michael began. "…My son lives only a block away from here so I can call him and ask him to come over here and take care of the dog." I looked over to Alice standing below looking up at me pleading and back to Michael and then nodded, answering him that that would be very kind and probably the best thing to do for the moment.
As we came to the ambulance I had to ride in the front with Michael while Lara rode in the back with Burt. My husband was still groaning and whimpering, groaning worse than ever when they had to lift the gurney up to lift it into the ambulance and then whimpered when I had to let go of his hand- even though I felt just a tiny bit relieved of getting to do that for just a little while and started moving my hand and fingers to get the feeling back in them.
In the front of the ambulance I sat and twisted my hands around each other, wiping the sweat off my palms on my pajama pants and hadn't noticed how fast, short and shallow my breathing was until Michael spoke up and clapped my back. "Calm down Carole, you need to breathe." I did my best to take deep breaths but as soon as I heard Burt shouting again I just couldn't help to start freaking out again.
"Carole you need to calm down." Michael lifted one hand from the steering wheel and stroke my shoulder. "You freaking out is not going to help anyone. I'm sure your husband's going to be just fine. Hold on." He lifted his hand and pulled the litter between the front and the back of the ambulance open. "You can talk to him now."
"Burt?" I said and looked to the side to look as close to the litter as possible without having to take the belt of. "What's going on honey?" No answer. "Lara what's going on?" My voice was getting weaker without me actually planning it, I just couldn't let go of the feeling that something might be seriously wrong with my Burt.
"I've given him some quite strong painkillers and they're just kicking in so Burt's here but quite drowsy. I'm afraid I don't know much else. But it might be something with the kidneys as the area where he's hurting seems to be around there" Burt groaned again and this time we could actually hear what he was saying as for every time he said it seemed to get clearer and at last it was almost all clear.
"Carole." I didn't have the time to answer before he continued. "I love you."
"I love you too honey." I wiped away tears from my eyes as I hoped that this wasn't going where I thought it was.
"I love Kurt… and Blaine….. and Alice… "
"Burt stop it" I tried to make my voice sound strict but it was hard when it was almost breaking.
"And Finn of course."
"Burt stop it. You're not going to die" I threw the litter closed and clapped a hand over my mouth and nose doing my best not to start sobbing wildly- it was the last thing any of us needed but I just couldn't help the fact that when I did my best not to cry I started hyperventilating again just as Michael pulled over in the ambulance garage at the hospital.
"Hey Carole." Michael began. "You might want to calm down before you go with him." I sniveled and took Burt's hand while shaking my head at Michael. "Okay then… I'll go call my son and tell him to take your dog. What's her name?" I had to think a minute- it was like with all the worry for the moment I suddenly could barely remember.
"A-Alice." I stuttered at last and held tightly onto Burt's hand while Lara and a doctor I barely knew even by name because he was new here pushed the bed towards the emergency room where one of my colleagues- and also one of my closest friends Mary Jackson- stopped me from following Burt into the trauma room. "N- No" I stuttered tiredly. "I need to…"
"You don't need anything but to sit and calm down. Come on honey, you need to calm down. No one will do better by you freaking out on us." I- exhausted by all the worrying that was still ridding my body- couldn't do anything to protest while Mary- with her arm around my shoulders led me through the hallway slowly and into the staff's lounge in the emergency room.
"I need to get…" I turned around again. "Mary I promise, as soon as I know my Burt is going to be alright I will get here again but I just need to be with him right now." Mary sighed, and seemed like she wanted to protest, but I didn't wait for her to do that before I pushed the door open and- even though I wanted to run- slowly stumbled through the hallway towards Trauma room number one.
"Hey honey." When I came into the trauma room I took Burt's hand in mine and laid one hand on his forehead glancing to Dr. James Dillon who was doing his best to examine. "How's the pain?" Burt was drowsy, but still managed to tell me that it was almost all gone- well- that was until James pressed a certain spot on Burt's stomach and Burt's eyes shot open while he hissed and whimpered in pain. "Sch honey, sch… it's okay." I rubbed his head and looked pleading over to James.
"Can you turn on your side Mr. Hummel? I'm going to check something." I helped Burt to do as James wanted and watched as James leaned over Burt and then slightly- just very slightly hit his clenched fist towards a certain spot on his back, and once again Burt's eyes shot open- but this time he didn't hiss.
James' hit wasn't even hard enough to would have made it hurt if this had been during other circumstances
But during these circumstances it could
Burt wasn't the first to show he was in pain, it would really take a lot for him to do that
But now I was assuming that his wordless screaming in pain could be heard in about the whole of the eleven story high hospital.
"Sch, sch, sch. It's okay honey, it's okay." I rubbed his head and tried my best to comfort him wishing that I could just believe my own words- even though the thought of that I might not be right about that this time kept on coming back to me even though I tried to push it away.
"He's got a kidney stone." James stood up and noted something. "We'll do an MRI to check if it will come out by itself or if we need to perform a surgery" James walked out of the room while I sat down by Burt's bed- too tired to keep on my feet holding his hand and laid my head down by his when I couldn't keep upright anymore.
"You can come and lie down up here." Burt mumbled hoarsely. I shook my head towards his and looked up. "You're half asleep aren't you?" I nodded, James was a good doctor- and he must have diagnosed kidney stones about a thousand times before. Kidney stones were very, very painful- but usually otherwise harmless and as soon as it was out Burt would be fine- so now when the most part of my worrying had faded my eyes seemed to have decided they weren't going to keep open for me.
"Sleep honey." Burt mumbled. I shook my head- weaker than I had planned and then sat up because if I kept lying I would soon be far gone in my sleep. "No really honey, you're tired I can see." I shook my head and told him I'd get some coffee in the lounge and just a little while later came back with a paper- cup in my hand.
"So…" James came into the room a little while later along with Mary. "They've got time at the MRI about right now. So Carole, Mary- can you take him up?" I nodded and threw the now empty paper cup in the trash and pulled out the contacts that attached the bed to the wall to give electricity so you'd be able to rise it and lower it before I got in the end by Burt's head and started pushing it while Mary was pulling in the front steering it.
"You need to hold your breath and keep absolutely still now honey." I said in a microphone so that Burt could hear it where he laid on a bunk in the big X- ray- machine, and when Burt moved I said it again. "No honey you need to keep absolutely still when we take the pictures or they will get blurry and then we will have to do this again. Burt finally kept still and the doctor pressed his buttons to start and take pictures that showed on the screen in front of us.
"I have to say…" The doctor- Jordan said when he saw the pictures. "This is clearly one of the biggest kidney stones I've ever seen- your husband's been in a whole lot of pain." I nodded and looked to where he pointed. "Mr. Hummel" Jordan said in the microphone. "I've got the pictures here in front of me and there is no way this stone is getting out by itself and I think we'd do best with getting it out as soon as possible so I'll just call up the OR and tell them to come here and get you right away."
"It's okay." When the machine was turned off I could walk into the room and my Burt where I sat down by him and took his hand in mine. "You'll be just fine." I squeezed his hand. But by this point Burt was so out by all the painkillers he barely seemed to notice I was there. I just sat there and held his hand until the staff from the OR came when I stood up and helped them get Burt over at another bunk before we pushed the bed towards the OR while I answered questions from the narcosis nurse.
When we came into the OR I couldn't follow Burt any longer, and it would be just less than an hour before he came out again. "I love you honey." I kissed his forehead and then watched as they pushed him into the operating room. I didn't really know why- but I turned around and instead of sitting down outside the OR I walked downstairs, through the emergency room and into the lounge.
Suddenly I realized that I was still pyjamas pants and one of Burt's T- shirt. I knew I had a few sets of clothes in my locker but as I had already sat down I couldn't get myself to stand up again. And as my head fell to the side towards the locker by the couch I fell asleep after the long exhausting night.
"Carole?" The next thing I knew someone was calling my name and shaking my shoulder and when my eyes fluttered open I saw it was Mary. "The surgery went well. Burt's still out." I nodded and stood up while the things that had happened before still was coming back to me. And then walked up to the apartment where the patients were sent after a surgery.
I sat down by the bed and took Burt's hand in mine just as he moved. "Burt?" I spoke. "Honey can you squeeze my hand?" First I felt nothing, then, slowly I felt his fingers grip tighter around mine before his eyes fluttered open. "That's it honey. Hi…" Burt made a quite failed attempt to smile back at me before I stood up and checked his vital signs at a board right by the bed. "Everything looks good and the surgery went perfectly well. Do you remember what happened?" Burt had been so out by painkillers before the surgery I more or less expected him to have lost all of his memories from about a month back in time.
"You had a kidney stone." I stroke Burt's hand with my thumb. "It's not harmful- only very, very painful. They've gotten it out so you'll be out of hospital in a day or two. Honey." I gripped tighter around Burt's fingers. "You must have been in so much pain already before I came home yesterday. Why didn't you just tell me? I could have taken you to the hospital before it got so bad."
"Didn't want… to… worry you" I smiled sadly. And then we both just kept quiet for a long while before Burt spoke again.
"Hey… can you come up here?" I sighed when Burt scooted over a bit to the side and asked if I could climb up and lie by him. "Please?" I sighed again and stood up before I lied down by him and rested my head against his shoulder. "Honey?" I was half asleep but was pulled back to reality when Burt spoke again. "Exactly what is a kidney stone?" I leaned against my elbow while I had to search in my memory before I could answer him.
"Well… it is when these different kinds of salt creates small stones that- if they're big enough gets stuck in the ureter- then the kidney swell and because it haven't got enough place then it hurts a lot." Burt frowned confused and seemed the wonder about something. "What is it honey?" Burt waited a moment before he started speaking again.
"So the stone gets stuck in the ureter" I answered him yes. "So… why is it called a kidney stone?"
"Ehrm… because it comes from the kidney I guess, or because if it gets to the point it can harm you it harms the kidney. And because the kidney swell from it I guess." I was clearly too tired to think because between every part of the reasons it was called kidney stones there were pauses and I had to think hard to come up with what it was that I was saying..
"Can harm you… you said it was harmless!" I glared tiredly at Burt. He clapped my shoulder and chuckled. "I'm just kidding honey. You just sleep- you must be exhausted." I checked my watch- but it turned out I couldn't see the numbers so I just laid my head down on Burt's shoulder again.
I would probably have to leave Burt here again when my shift started- but hey- before that I would have to let the pyjama pants and Burt's old T- shirt fill it purpose once and for all didn't I?
This is the seventh chapter I finish for my update- all- of- my- stories- at- the- same- time- project. Everything left now is Barole A to Z and that new story.