Gleekforever12345: I'm glad you liked it and of course Burt is okay- I couldn't be too mean could I. Here is chapter twelve and I hope you like that too.

I know I said M was going to be a Barole- chapter, but I had an idea for another sickfics and I just might use that for M instead- The other M- the one with Barole is probably going to be in either this or Barole A to Z anyway…. I haven't really made up my mind about everything yet.

L is for Lonely

I'll catch the next bus home, I know the day's just started but I don't feel too well. You just stay at work, I'll take care of myself. Love you –Marley

I sent away the text message to my mum and pushed the phone down in my pocket just as the bus pulled over in front of me and I could step onto it and hold up the bus card to pay and at last walked back in the bus and sat down leaning my head against my palm- I didn't want to admit it really- but my forehead felt warm towards my fingers and I was pretty sure I had a temperature.

Every bump in the road that the bus hit and in every turn I felt more and more nauseas and when the bus pulled over right by our driveway I had to stop in the bus stop and hold onto it until the spinning had stopped and I was all sure I wasn't going to throw up I turned around and slowly walked up to my house where I didn't have energy to do anything else than to drop my bag, jacket and shoes in the hallway before I got a bucket from the bathroom just in case I would get sick and then laid down in the living room sofa with my head pounding and the nausea coming in wave after wave.

But sometime in the middle of it all- because suddenly I felt myself waking up as my eyes fluttered open- I must have fallen asleep- and waking up- I knew I was going to get sick. Without a thought of the bucket standing by the sofa I jumped onto my feet and ran into the bathroom where I threw myself onto my knees and just barely had the time to open the lid fully before I lurched forward and threw up.

My throat burned and my stomach cramped as I hung over the toilet just a few seconds later when I supported myself against a cupboard and tried to take as deep breaths as possible- before I lurched forward over the bowl again and coughed painfully gripping tightly around the corner of the cupboard to get to hold onto something.

I retched again just by the sour, terrible taste in my mouth- but knew it was over for this time as I reached up to flush the toilet and then reached for a towel that I folded and laid on the floor before I laid down using the towel as a pillow. I had hoped I would feel better after throwing up- but instead I just felt sweaty and disgusting

And alone.

I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, fighting the urge to call up my mum and tell her to come. For a moment I also considered calling Jake- but then everything from a few weeks before now came back to me- and how could I have forgotten- even if it only was for a second- about everything with Bree- Jake wasn't a part of me anymore- and if there was something I wouldn't be calling it was him.

I closed my eyes and drew a deep breath trying to ease the nausea that was coming back in wave after wave. For a moment I thought back to the days when and after we were doing Grease. Had I really been doing this by choice then? Had I really wanted to cause myself to feel nauseated and in pain- like I did right now?

"Mum" I whimpered. For a moment I thought about calling up my dad- he lived in California anyway so he wouldn't be able to come. But maybe say the right thing and comfort as much as was possible over the phone. But at last it hit me that if dad knew I was feeling bad and home alone- he'd call up mum and tell her to go home- and I didn't want that.

Mum would always worry too much about me- I knew she was deathly afraid of something happening so I would die- like my big brother Jackie had done before I was born- or even though of- and every time I had as much of a cold mum would freak out and do anything to make me feel better- I knew she meant well but sometimes it would be too much when I just wanted to sleep and rest and she kept on coming checking my temperature or whatever every two minutes- it wasn't that I didn't like her fussing it was well… that I didn't really like her worrying!

I suddenly heard the phone in the kitchen ring, so despite how much I just wanted to stay on the bathroom floor I had to get up and slowly make my way out in the kitchen to grab the phone. "Mhm Rose" Because this was the phone that went to both me and mum- the house so to say- I always answered with our last name when someone called it.

"Marley?" Mum's voice seemed sharp in the phone. "Honey are you okay? Why aren't you answering your cellphone?" I had to take a moment to think out an answer. If I told her that I had been throwing up and felt sick she would be pulling over at the driveway in five minutes, I still didn't want her to come home- and why hadn't my phone been ringing.

"I'm alright. Just a bit of a headache… and I don't know- my phone haven't been calling- I'll go check what it is." I sighed slightly. "And as I said I'm fine- so you just stay at school- I'll be fine in no time if I can just take a nap." I lied to her, I knew I had to but most of all I just wanted to break down crying and tell her how miserable I was feeling for real.

"Okay…" Mum hesitated. "Call me if it gets worse or you want me to come home okay?" I nodded even though I knew she couldn't see me and then answered her yes. "Bye Mar, I love you." When another wave of nausea hit me I knew I had to hang up. I didn't answer her goodbye before I hung up and again stumbled into the bathroom and fell to my knees by the bowl trying to breathe deeply again while trying to ease the nausea.

It helped this time, and a couple of minutes later I could lay down and rest my head towards the folded towel, too weak and tired to hold it upright. When I remembered my cellphone and again had to stand up and slowly made my way out in the hallway where I had dropped my phone at the bench when I came home.

It turned out it had shut off with the batteries running out. So I got a bucket and a few towels from the bathroom, and then laid down in the sofa where I could reach my phone that laid on the living room floor where the charging cord could reach. I laid down and laid my head against the towel I had draped over a pillow.

"Mum" I whimpered again and curled myself into a ball when my stomach cramped, I closed my eyes- maybe I could just sleep it off! I slightly opened my eyes and glanced over the living room. Was this really the same room I had left this morning to go to school despite a stomachache- what if I had just admit then I wasn't feeling well- and just told my mum about it- then maybe I would be lying here with her home with me.

I sighed, and really had to fight the urge to call up mum as I shut my eyes closed- harder and harder as the sharp signal made my ears hurt. "No… stop it… I don't want to wake up now." I mumbled, before the signal suddenly stopped, and before I had the time to realize it had been my phone calling, I had drifted off to sleep again.

"Marley, Marley, Mar can you wake up?" My eyes fluttered open, and the first thing I spotted after waking up was Ryder's distressed brown eyes. "Are you alright?" The nausea came back fast and I rolled out of the sofa and down on my knees on the floor where I hung over the bucket and started heaving again. "It's okay." I felt Ryder's hand rubbing circles on my back. "It's okay Marley, deep breaths."

Deep breaths… Well… that was easier said than done. I didn't get a chance to breathe in between the heaves, my stomach cramped and my throat burned. "It's okay." When I could- taking deep breaths lie my head down towards the towel on the pillow again Ryder reached for the bucket. "I'll be right back." He stood up and walked into the bathroom.

I couldn't remember hearing him come back

And I could just barely remember feeling Ryder drape a blanket over me

It wasn't until a few hours later my eyes fluttered open again. Ryder sat on the floor under the window with one of mum's books reading in the light that came through the window. "Why are you here Ryder?" I asked, Ryder looked up from the book when I spoke and smiled. He stood up and came and sat down on the edge of the sofa.

"I still need to be home because I had that bug two days ago and I'm still contagious." Ryder smiled. "Unique called and said you'd left school because you weren't feeling well. And I guessed that I had passed that stomach bug on to you and- since I know you I knew you would tell your mum and your friends to stay at McKinley but I didn't want you to be lonely." Ryder smiled. "And then I was here."

I couldn't help but smile slightly, and then slowly pushed myself up to sit. But still so weak I had to lean against the arm support to keep sitting. "Do you still feel nauseas?" I shook my head at Ryder's question- well not right now at least. "Do you want something? I need to head away to the store anyway to get Gatorade and crackers and that stuff." I shook my head. "Well…. Call me if you come up with anything." Ryder clapped my shoulder and left the room. "Be right back."

I slowly made my way out in the hallway where my school bag laid and took it with me into the living room where I sat down again. I had a test next week so even if I was so tired and weak I couldn't even sit up myself I had to study math anyway. But I was so tired I could barely sit up- even less hold the pencil and the numbers just blurred together.

At last I put my books on the table by the sofa and laid down again pulling the blanket up to my chin. I closed my eyes- but even though I was so tired I couldn't fall asleep. I heard Ryder coming back and then felt his hand stroking my hair and pulling another blanket over me before I heard him sit down under the window again and pick up the book. Knowing that he was there I just felt that I was safe and so I finally drifted off to sleep.

"Hey Mar." Ryder's voice woke me up and my eyes fluttered open to see him standing there with a bowl and I pushed myself up. "I took the freedom to use the kitchen for a minute and I hope and think you'll forgive me for that. Come on, you need something to eat." I leaned against Ryder, once again too tired to hold my head up. "Or are you feeling sick again- because then I guess you shouldn't eat?"

I shook my head against his shoulder. "I'm fine." I mumbled. Ryder smiled and grabbed a spoon- full from the chicken- noodle- soup and blew on it to not have it being too warm.

"Here comes the chew- chew- train… chew- chew!" Ryder moved his hand with the spoon towards my mouth and- as I didn't want to worry him even further- I realized there was not much other choice for me than to open my mouth and swallow the soup, then I took the freedom to grab the bowl and the spoon and took another few spoon- full's. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I feel kind of hungry actually." I answered Ryder's question and took another spoon, Ryder smiled and stood up, and pulled out his wallet of his pocket and counted his money.

"I forgot to buy something that I needed." Ryder looked up from his wallet. "I'll be right back. Call me if you need anything else okay?" he smiled and then walked out from the living room, when I heard the front door slam after him I placed the bowl and the spoon on the table- the line about that I was hungry was mostly to calm Ryder down- I wasn't hungry- I didn't feel sick- but I just wanted to go to sleep.

I laid down again and the last thing I could remember before drifting off again was the sound of a child shouting something on the street outside the window.

But when I woke up again the first thing I knew was that I was going to be sick again

"RYDER" I shouted, but the house was quiet and I rolled over so I fell to my knees on the floor by the bucket right before I lurched forward and what I had just eaten came up again. "Ryder" I whimpered- because the feeling of being lonely got overwhelming as painful coughing and dry heaves wrenched my whole body and wouldn't stop.

"Ryder." I whimpered. "Mum, dad, I don't, I don't want to be lonely…" I started crying which only made the dry heaves come closer and more painful, just as I heard the door open and slam as Ryder came back. "RYDER" I heard Ryder's running steps come through the hallway and then saw in the corner of my eye how he kneeled by me. "I don't… I don't want to be lonely… don't- don't leave me…" Ryder started rubbing circles on my back.

"Sch Mar, it's okay, it's okay, I'm here, and I'm not leaving. I'm sorry." As the dry heaves finally stopped I leaned against Ryder's shoulders and I heard him continue trying to comfort me with his voice.

"It's okay Mar… you're not lonely. I'm right here!"

I have decided to make a poll on my profile about which chapter you want to be the M- chapter, for the poll- decisions I have written the main characters and the "illness" of the chapter, so please go and vote so I will know which chapter I should start next.