*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much!
JOHN..
2 weeks later.
I wake up in my bed to see that my wife Ashley is gone. I get out of bed and slip on my boxers. As of last night my wife and I are on good terms. We had a talk and worked out our problems although I did fail to tell her my work schedule is increasing beginning when I leave today. I know she's not going to be happy but it's my job to go out week after week and entertain millions of people. It is what puts the food on our table. Ashley just fails to understand that. I walk downstairs to the kitchen to see Ashley in her white cotton robe covering her bra and underwear. Her curly brown hair is pulled into a loose ponytail and she is at the stove cooking breakfast. "Good morning," I say with a smile as I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her waist and give her a soft kiss on her cheek.
"Good morning," she says with a smile of her own.
"It smells so good. What are we having?" I ask just to faze her.
"Spinach and cheese omlets," she says with a smile. "I hope you're hungry."
"I am," I say with a smile. "Would you like me to make some coffee?"
"Please," she says. "I love this," she says as I head over to the cabinet to get out the can of coffee.
"Love what?" I ask.
"You being home," she says. "I just want a normal marriage where I can see you every day."
"Ash, you know my job entitles me to be away," I say. Here we go again. I know a fight is coming before it even begins. I thought we were both over this. I was obviously wrong.
"I know but can't you ever take some time off. You know take some time off to be with me."
"Ash, I gave you a whole month. Now I'm back to work. I don't know why we're having this fight again," I say.
"We're not fighting. I was just saying," she said.
"But you're walking a thin line," I say. "You know this is how our fights start 99% of the time."
"I'm not trying to start a fight, John. It seems like you're trying to start a fight. Is that what you want?" she asks slamming the spatula on the counter.
"No. I never want to fight with you, Ash, but you're making it impossible. You always have to start with me not being home. I know I'm not home like you want me to be but I love my job and I need to do what I have to in order to bring money into this house and put food on the table. You don't work."
"And what is that supposed to mean?" she asks. She is a wrestler's wife. She gets the perks of my job but complains about it. In other words she loves spending the money I make but she doesn't like the way I make it. She has no problem going out spending the money on expensive lingere, jewelry and whatever else she has bought especially her expensive Pomeranian puppy she just had to have but she doesn't like the fact I have to be out of the house so much to earn that money.
"Nothing," I say. I know how to pick my battles and that is one battle I do not want to start.
"You obviously meant something so what did you mean, John?" I guess I should remove my foot from my mouth right now because Ashley is pissed and when Ashley is pissed it makes my life hell. "Are you calling me lazy?"
"I didn't say that," I say.
"So you think I'm lazy?"
"No, Ashley, I don't. I didn't mean anything by it."
"Well, to me it sounded like you meant that I don't do anything to contribute to this house and you do all the work."
"I told you, Ash, I didn't mean anything. Why do you have to read into things to start an argument?"
"John, I know what I heard. I know how to interpret things. If you think I don't do anything to contribute to this house you're crazy. I cook, I clean.. I take care of this place. I do my fair share of work. It's not like I sit around eating bon-bons all day."
"Okay, Ashley. I know you take care of the house."
"All right so then what did you mean?"
"Nothing, Ashley. Why do you have to make a fight about EVERYTHING?"
"I'm not, John," she says. "You can make your own breakfast."
"Okay," I say. I don't know what all she expects me to say. I didn't mean to upset her. It seems like I have to walk on egg shells around her because I never know what's going to upset her and what isn't.
"I'm sorry," she says. "I just let my emotions get the best of me."
"We all do sometimes. It's okay," I say. She tends to let her emotions get the best of her all the time. "I think I should tell you something."
"What?" she asks.
"Last night when we were talking about me working I failed to mention something."
"What?" she asks. I can hear the annoyance in her voice and it is so bad that I am almost afraid to tell her that I am working more and will be gone longer.
"Well, I talked to Vince a couple weeks ago," I start to say before she interrupts me.
"And you're getting time off?" she asks.
"Not exactly," I say.
"Then what, John? What could you have possibly talked to Vince about?"
"Well, I guess Randy is in some type of trouble and they needed someone to fill in for him while he's out."
"That's their problem," she says, "not yours."
"I know but Vince asked me to fill in for him."
"I hope that you told him no," she says with anger. "Did you tell him no?"
"No. I didn't. I told him I would."
"Why would you do that? John, why would you do that?"
"Because I want to, Ashley. I am not going to tell my boss no."
"And what about your wife? What about being with me?"
"I will still be with you just not as much," I say.
"And what about our marriage? What about us?"
"I don't know, Ash," I say.
"John, you're 35 years old and I am 30 years old. We aren't getting any younger and I wanted to have kids. With you gone all the time we will never have kids."
"Ash, when I got married to you I didn't sign on to have kids. I don't want to have kids. I am not a kid person." I'm not really into the kid thing. I have no problem with kids or entertaining kids but having kids of my own is a different story. I mean if it would happen then I would be okay with it but I am not going to actually try to have a baby. Ashley is right. I am 35 years old. If I was going to have kids I would have done it 8 years ago not now; not this late in the game. But I didn't have kids and I don't plan on having kids. Like I said if it happens then it happens if not then it doesn't; not a big deal for me.
"That's what married people do, John. They get married and have babies. So you don't want to have kids?"
"Honestly?" I ask.
"Yes, Honestly," she says.
"No I don't want to have kids. I told you I'm not a kid person."
"But you go out and entertain kids every week but you don't want any of your own?"
"That's a different story, Ashley and you know it."
"How is it different, John? You want to entertain kids but not have any of your own."
"Ash, it is different because those kids aren't mine. I wouldn't even know how to be a father and how can I be an effective father when I work all the time?"
"That's why you would quit to be a dad," she says.
"That's a stretch," I say. "Ash, we're not having kids unless it happens by mistake."
"Mistake?" she asks.
"Yes, by accident. I'm not purposely trying to get you pregnant but I do know sometimes situations happen and a baby gets made. If it were to happen then okay but I'm not going to try for it to happen. If that upsets you then I am sorry but I just don't want to be a father."
"Your career always comes first, John. It always comes before me and us. I hate it. You need to choose what you want and choose what is more important, John. It's either your career or me."
"Ash, that's not fair."
"How's it not fair? I am your wife. I should come first."
"But you're asking me to choose between you and something I have dreamed for all my life."
"I think it's very fair. I am your wife, John. Marriage is about commitment."
"I know but if I was with…"
"Don't even say if you were with, Natalie in this argument. I get so tired of hearing about Natalie. She went out with you for a month. She obviously didn't want you to be a wrestler or she wouldn't have broken up with you."
"I don't know why she broke up with me but I'm sure she would have supported me."
"Whatever, John," she says. "You have a choice to make. Either me or wrestling; it's not a difficult decision."
"I can't choose," I say.
"Then I'll choose for you," she says storming out of the kitchen. I don't know what that means but at least the fight is over; for now anyway. I don't know how she could expect me to choose between her and my career they are both big parts of my life. Ashley just overreacts sometimes and this is just another one of those moments. She will come around. We have been married for 4 years so I know her well enough to know that she will calm down and everything will be okay but this fighting has to stop at some point. I don't know why we have to keep fighting about the same thing over and over again but it happens. She really hates it when I bring Natalie into an argument. I met Ashley just after Natalie broke up with me. Ashley just seems like the rebound girl but I still love her. I just wish I had some answers from Natalie. I don't understand why she broke up with me so suddenly and every time after that I tried to reach her and talk to her but she never took my calls. Then she left Mass and never came back. I have no idea where she is these days and even though I talk to her brothers still they never tell me where she is but I just want that one chance to run into her and get the answers I've been looking for since 8 years ago. Maybe it's pathetic of me but every city we go to; and I've been to a lot of cities, I just hope one of them is the city where Natalie lives and I can run into her. She's got to be a CEO somewhere by now. She is a smart girl and always has been. She is goal oriented and nothing ever got in her way from reaching her goals. Maybe that's why she broke up with me because I was in her way. I don't know but what I do know is I don't think I have truly gotten over her or maybe it's just because I need some answers. It doesn't matter. I will never get those answers. I just need to make things right with my wife now and stop worrying about someone that didn't love me like I loved them.
*A/N: So what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.