Darthemius: WHAT?
Naruto: I'm telling you, man! Wrestlemania is near! People are choosing sides already!
Darthemius: How bad is it?
Naruto: Just walk on the street! The first mob you'll meet will surround you and ask…
Darthemius: Ask what?
Naruto: Are you with "Ukenation", or "Team Dattebayo?"
Darthemius (Raising an eyebrow skeptically): Well, I could understand "Ukenation", but why Dattebayo?
Naruto: Don't look at me, man! It wasn't my idea, believe it… (Slapping his mouth)
Darthemius (Even more skeptically): Are you so sure about that?
Naruto: Yeah I'm sure! It was Hinata's idea!
Darthemius: …
Naruto: Yeah, I totally agree…
Darthemius: By the way, care to see my newest idea?
Naruto: Sure, what's cooking?
Darthemius: Well… you are in fact.
Naruto: What?
Darthemius: Do you remember that "Naruto Ultimate Ninja Storm Generations" will be released soon?
Naruto: Yeah, so what?
Darthemius: Well, do you remember all versions of you they put in previous games? Like "Taijutsu Naruto", or…
Naruto (Shivering): Yeah, I remember that one! They managed to put that fucking spandex on me… two spandex to tell the truth…
Darthemius: Why two?
Naruto: Well you see… They put the first one on me. Then I walked by the mirror, glanced in it and shit myself…
Darthemius (Slapping his face): Thanks for telling me that… I was about to eat something, but I don't feel like it anymore…
Naruto (Shrugging): You asked yourself… So, what's the idea?
Darthemius: Oh yeah! What I meant was… They put many non-existent characters in those games, like "Taijutsu Naruto", "Hokage Naruto", "Namikaze Minato", "ANBU Kakashi" and hey, there was even "Lars Alexandersson"! Whatever the fuck he was doing there?
Naruto: Yeah, I remember that. So?
Darthemius: So if they put all those pieces of trash in the game… Well, I just have one character I think people would like to see…
Naruto: What character?
Darthemius: How about "EHD Naruto"?
Naruto: Shit! That would be great! Hell, even if they made me non-playable, like Sephiroth in Kingdom Hearts for example, that would be still badass!
Darthemius: Too bad it can't happen…
Naruto: Yeah, a real shame…
...
Chapter four: Ghosts of the past.
"Fuck!" – talks.
'Shit!' – thoughts.
"Fucking shit!" – Jutsu.
...
Some time later…
"Shin-ne!" Naruto shouted, lashing out with his sword.
"You missed again!" Anko screamed.
"Fuck, it's getting away! Anko throw a kunai!"
"How many?" The kunoichi asked.
"All of them dammit! I won't let this piece of shit get away!"
"Roger!" Anko exclaimed, throwing one kunai after another. "Dammit! It's too fast! Help me!"
"I don't use kunais!" Naruto stated and waved his hand. "Hishouken!" Three blades of ice flew at their appointed target.
"It's close! Senei-ta jashu!" Snakes appeared from Anko's hand and got a hold of her target. "Yes, we did it!"
"MEOW!"
"Quiet, you little shit!" Anko tightened her grip. "What do you think we should do?" She asked with an evil grin on her face.
Naruto grinned back. "I think I have an idea…"
Hokage's office…
THUD.
"Wh-Wh-What is this?" Yondaime Hokage yelled in confusion, when a cube of ice was placed on his desk…
A cube of ice with one frozen cat inside.
"It's our objective." Naruto replied, as if everything was normal… Well, to him it was.
"I can see that much!" Minato shouted. "But why is it frozen?"
Naruto shrugged. "Safer that way…"
"Excuse me?"
The genin shook his head. "You should thank me by the way. "
"And why is that?"
"Well, it is alive after all." Naruto stated. "A little heat and everything will be fine… Anko though wanted to flay it…"
"And I still think it was the right thing to do!" The kunoichi responded.
"No it's not!" Naruto countered. "If we did, then it would've been a failed mission! Do you want another set of D-ranks?"
Anko gritted her teeth. "No, I don't…"
Jin nodded. "Good, that was our last, right Hokage-sama?" He asked, smiling innocently… or as innocently as he could at least…
Minato sighed. "Right…"
Indeed, at first Minato foolishly decided to follow Anko's advice and threw the two of them right into the heat after just two missions. Yugao's ANBU team requested support and he decided to send them. It happened not exactly as he expected…
Flashback…
"A warehouse. About two hundred mercenaries inside." Yugao explained.
"Do we need something from there?" Naruto asked.
"No."
"Any shinobi there?" Anko asked.
"No."
"So we are just to kill everyone inside?" Naruto asked again.
"Yes."
"Then what the hell are we waiting for?"
Yugao sighed. "You're not working solo now, Kisaragi. Konoha is the strongest of five shinobi nations because of our great teamwork capabilities." She stated. "We work as a team and casualties are not welcome. Now here is the plan. Two people infiltrate through the back door, quickly neutralize the guards and open the gates for others. Then we split in three groups and…"
"I'm sorry, Yugao-san, but I see some problems with your plan…" Naruto suddenly said.
Woman's eyes narrowed. "Really? And what problems are those?"
Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Well, how should I put it…?" He started. "How about this?" And with that his body turned into ice and crumbled."
Being on a mission with him earlier, Anko understood immediately what that meant.
"Son of a bitch!" She screamed in anger.
"What? What did he do?" Yugao asked startled.
CRASH.
Everyone turned to the warehouse… only for their eyes to widen in shock… and even fear. The warehouse looked more like a hedgehog now… a hedgehog with ice spikes instead of needles. Many of them had blood stains, and some even whole human bodies.
Needless to say, everyone inside was dead.
Silence remained for some seconds; then ice slowly crumbled, leaving absolutely unharmed and very smiling Jin Kisaragi, who was walking towards his team.
"I guess the mission is completed." He stated smugly.
"Asshole!" Anko shouted, bumping him on his head.
"Ouch! What was that for?"
"You didn't leave any to me!"
Yugao shook his head. 'I don't think Hokage-sama will like it…'
End flashback…
And he didn't. Naruto couldn't understand why, but he didn't.
'Teamwork freak.' Jin concluded.
So what Yondaime did? He sent them on a couple of D-ranked missions as punishment…
Punishment that expired today.
"So, what's our next mission?" Anko asked happily. "Should we kill someone? Rob someone? Rob someone, then kill him and then rape his wife and children?"
Naruto grinned at this. 'Man, I'm happy she's my sensei!'
'Guh, I can't stand them! I need to send them away somewhere… anywhere!' Minato thought. 'Of course! I know just the place! It will keep the two of them away for a while.'
The Hokage smiled. "Yes, I do have a mission for you. It's…" He was about to explain, when the door opened.
"Team seven reporting for mission." Kakashi said, entering the office.
"Oh, hi Kakashi!" Anko greeted.
Naruto said nothing… until…
"Jin!" Tsubaki ran into the room and hugged him. "How have you been? I haven't seen you in ages!"
"AHEM!" Minato cleared his throat.
"Oh, hello father…" The girl blushed and stepped away from Naruto.
Yondaime rolled his eyes. "Alright, team seven… yes, it will be easier to deal with you first. Now you can choose between weed pulling, babysitting and…"
"No!" Tsubaki stated.
"What do you mean no?" Minato asked in confusion.
"No means rejection, father." She explained. "I'm tired of doing someone's chores! Give me some real mission!"
"Ho?" Naruto exclaimed.
"I like this girl!" Anko added.
"Not you too…" Yondaime slapped his face. Two other genin cells already bitched about better missions. "Wanna mission higher than D-rank, then why don't you go with… wait, that's actually a good idea!" He stated. "Team seven; you will now receive your first C-ranked mission! For this you will be accompanied by our special genin cell of Mitarashi Anko and Jin Kisaragi."
Tsubaki beamed…
Sasuke glared…
Sakura squealed…
Kakashi and Naruto showed no emotions…
And Anko… yelled.
"Damn!"
"What's wrong?" Naruto asked.
"We are going with a genin team. No killing… damn!"
Sasuke glared even more. "We don't need anyone to complete our mission."
The Hokage noticed Uchiha's glare and released a small amount of killing intent.
"Maybe so… but you also don't need to question my orders."
Sasuke said nothing. Yes, he may be arrogant, but he surely was not stupid enough to argue with the infamous Yellow Flash of Konoha.
"Very well. Sent the client in." The Hokage said to his secretary.
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "An escort?"
Minato nodded. "You guessed it."
Then the door opened again…
"What?" Some old drunk asked. "I asked for a real shinobi, not some brats!"
Anko laughed at this. Perhaps only Hokage's presence was keeping Jin from throwing a couple of his Hishoukens at this guy.
"You'd do well not to underestimate them." Minato said. "They are trained specialists."
"Hmm, we'll see about that soon enough." The old man replied. "I'm a super bridge builder Tazuna! You will protect me with your life!"
Naruto's eyes narrowed. 'Sure I will.' "Where are we to escort him?" He asked.
"Wave country." Minato stated. "You are to escort Tazuna-san there, and ensure his safety until he finishes his bridge."
Naruto smirked. 'Wave, huh…'
Next morning…
Jin didn't sleep well last night. Why? Well, Tsubaki was the first reason… and not because he dreamed about her.
The second – he thought about possible troubles during this mission, their probability and possible solution.
In the end it looked like this:
…
1. Meeting Nii-san.
Description: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
Probability: 1/100000000000000.
Possible solution: KILL! KILL! KILL! NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!
…
2. Meeting Mei.
Description: Damn, not again…
Probability: Wave is close to Hidden Mist, so about 1/50.
Possible solution: Do not let her drag myself into something else… again.
…
3. Meeting Yugito.
Description: Fuck!
Probability: Kumo is not too far away as well, so I say about 1/100.
Possible solution: Cast testicles protecting jutsu, run away in fear, hide in some cave and pray.
…
4. Meeting Kirabi.
Description: Double fuck! Better off meeting Yugito.
Probability: He's not as open as Yugito, so I'd say 1/200.
Possible solution: Same solution as in point three, with no protection for testicles, but with praying twice as hard.
…
5. Meeting Orochimaru.
Description: Worst possible scenario.
Probability: Same as point 1.
Possible solution: Too many variables, but none that can really be applied. Better to avoid at all cost.
Konoha gates…
"Try to at least look rested." Naruto exclaimed.
"Uwaaaaaah!" Tsubaki yawned. "Sorry, I just can't help it. Should've listened to you… Glad I didn't though." She added with a smile.
"Yeah, I'm down with that as well." He smiled right back at her.
"Well, I hope this mission will last… 'cus I want more nights like last one."
"My!" Jin said. "What would your father say if he heard you right now!"
Tsubaki rolled her eyes and slapped him on the shoulder.
"Stop it!" Then she gasped.
"What? What's wrong?"
"Hell must be frozen over!" Tsubaki stated.
"Wha…? Why?"
"Look there!" The girl pointed.
"Kakashi? So what?"
Tsubaki shook her head. "No, you don't get it, he's on time!"
"Is it so unusual?" Naruto asked.
"YES!"
He even took a step back after her shout.
"He's late every time for at least two hours! Something must be really wrong!" She ran over to her sensei. "Kakashi-sensei!"
"Huh? Tsubaki-chan? What's wrong?" The jounin asked.
"You tell me!" The girl screamed.
"I don't know what you mean…"
"I mean that you're on time!"
"Well, I do things like these sometimes… Is it that shocking?"
"Pretty much." Sasuke said, walking closer.
"Yeah, quite a shocker actually…" Sakura added, doing the same.
"Okay…" Kakashi said. "Well, everyone's here, except…"
"Down!" Naruto shouted, pushing Sakura out of kunai's way. "Dammit Anko, she's not familiar with your greetings!"
"Bad for her!" Anko stated, appearing in a puff of smoke.
"Don't attack my students, Anko." Kakashi said absently. "Let's go…"
"Let's go?" Sakura shouted. "Are you going to let this slide? She tried to kill me!"
"And I will do so if you don't shut the fuck up!" Anko responded. "You heard your sensei, shut up and get moving!"
"Tch…"
Some time later…
"Jin?" Tsubaki asked.
"Hmm?"
"Have you ever been in Wave?"
Naruto nodded. "Yep, been there."
"What does it look like?"
He shrugged. "Hell if I know. Haven't been there in… two years?"
"I see…" The red head said. "By the way, did you see that puddle we just passed."
"Sure."
"Two?"
"Yep. Hidden Mist. Chuunins."
"What should we do?"
Naruto smirked. "I don't think we'll have to do anything."
"What? Why? What if they attack?"
"I'll be really surprised if they do." He stated. "We have two jounins with us."
"Yeah, but still…"
"Let's just wait and see. Trust me." Naruto smiled reassuringly.
Tsubaki nodded. "I trust you."
They kept walking and… nothing.
"See, told ya!" Naruto said in satisfaction.
"Hmm… but what stopped them?" Tsubaki smiled.
Jin's smile turned into evil grin. "I wonder…"
Meanwhile Kakashi and Anko, who walked in the back, had their own conversation…
"Did you see that, Anko?" Masked jounin asked.
She rolled her eyes. "Who do you think I am? Of course I saw that!"
He nodded. "And what do you think?"
"Well, they didn't attack, so there are only two options. First is they were not after us, but if my senses are correct then they shunshined right after we passed."
Kakashi nodded.
"I was right then. Then it's the second one. Someone…"
"Scared them off." Kakashi finished for her.
"You're reading my thoughts!" Anko exclaimed. "Do you think it was you?"
Kakashi held a pause. "You are not famous in Kirigakure, so there are only two options. Either it was me, or…"
"Jin-kun…"
"Yes."
"Think he knew them?"
"Maybe, maybe not." Masked jounin replied. "Useless to try and guess right now. They did not attack, so we have nothing but our clues. Let's wait and see."
Unknown area…
"Stop that Gato. The demon brothers should be here any minute." Man with a giant sword on his shoulder stated.
"Are you sure about them, Zabuza?" Small man in expensive suit asked.
"Of course, I trained them myself…" Demon of the Hidden Mist responded. "Ah, here they are!"
"Zabuza-sama!" Two chuunins kneeled in front of him.
"Mission complete I believe?" Zabuza asked.
"N-No, my lord… we're…"
"Excuse me?" Masked man exclaimed. "You are telling me you have failed to kill one old man?" He picked up his zanbatou.
"S-Sorry, Zabuza-sama, but we could not possibly succeed." One of the demon brothers spoke.
Demon's eyebrows furrowed. "And why is that?"
"That old man… he had a full shinobi team with him, and…"
"I don't care about that!" Zabuza shouted, standing up. "You should've died trying to complete your mission then!"
"B-But he had Rattlesnake with him!" Other demon brother stated.
"SAY WHAT?" Zabuza and Gato screamed in unison and turned to each other. "YOU KNOW HIM?"
"You first!" Zabuza pointed his enormous sword at small man.
Gato gulped. "He… He worked for me before… I believe it was when I only started my business here in Wave. It's because of him things went so smoothly for me."
Zabuza nodded and lowered his blade. "We crossed paths before. He took away my dream of becoming the ruler of Hidden Mist…" The man growled.
"How, if I might ask?" Businessman asked.
"He… he killed Yondaime Mizukage and ended the civil war in Kiri. Fifth Mizukage was appointed because of him. I was too late…" Zabuza's fists clenched real hard. "That's why I swore that I will kill him… whatever it takes!"
Gato shook his head. "Bad idea, Zabuza. I saw him in action; he's a tough nut to crack. I suggest we buy him and try to avoid the conflict. It will be really…"
"Shut up!" Zabuza shouted, placing the tip of his sword on Gato's throat. "I will be the one who kills him. Don't worry, I won't ask any money for it. Those you'll pay for the bridge builder will suffice. Besides… it is personal. Gozu, Meizu, Haku!"
"Hai!"
"Prepare, we have a date with destiny…"
"Hai!"
With Naruto…
"No, I won't teach you kenjutsu, Uchiha. Ask your sensei, he was pretty proficient in it if the rumors are true." Jin stated.
Sasuke glared. "Don't you realize what privilege it is to teach an Uchiha?"
"Stop it, Sasuke." Tsubaki interrupted. "He already said no. Accept it."
"Tch." The Uchiha exclaimed and walked faster ahead of them.
"Sigh… he will never learn." The red head stated. "It's in his blood I guess. Stubbornness and pride of the Uchihas are… Jin? Jin? Where are you?"
Indeed, where Jin Kisaragi was just a moment before, he was not anymore.
"What is it?" Anko asked.
"It's Jin! He disappeared!" Tsubaki stated.
"What? I saw him just now talking to you!" Sakura replied.
"But do you see him now?"
"Umm… no, I guess I don't…"
Suddenly…
"Anko… This mist is too thick." Kakashi stated.
Tokubetsu jounin looked around. "True, but what is… EVERYBODY DOWN!"
"Suiton: Suirodan no jutsu!" Unknown voice shouted and a large water dragon crashed right where they were just standing.
"What is this?" Sakura asked, getting up.
"Momochi Zabuza, Kirigakure's missing nin." Kakashi stated.
Anko grinned. "No shit? Demon of the hidden mist himself?"
"I see you know me." Zabuza started, standing on top of the water. "Sharingan no Kakashi… You're in charge of the bridge builder's life I see."
"Indeed."
"That's unfortunate." Missing nin stated. "However I will give you a choice to not fight me now."
Kakashi's eyes narrowed. "If you want us to surrender Tazuna, then we…"
"No, that's not what I'll ask."
"What then?"
"Where is Rattlesnake, Kakashi?" Zabuza shouted. "I know he was with your group, but I don't see him now. Give him up and I will let you go… this time."
"Hmm…" Kakashi paused. "The thing is… we don't know where he is. He suddenly disappeared."
"Well that's really unfortunate." Zabuza gripped his sword's hilt. "Then I guess I'll have to fight you!"
Kakashi glared. "Everyone, protect the bridge builder! This is my fight!" He said and uncovered his Sharingan.
With Haku…
'Zabuza-sama…' Haku thought, observing the fight between Zabuza and that Konoha jounin. "Please be alright…"
"Well, it will be pretty hard I think." Unknown voice said to her left. (Starting song: "Gluttony Fang" by Daisuke Ishiwatari)
Haku quickly span on the tree branch she was standing on and took out few senbons… but stopped, receiving katana's blade at the throat.
"Rattlesnake!" Haku spat.
"Ah, you're Zabuza's little bitch if I remember correctly." Naruto said smugly. "You didn't really think I'd forget about you?"
Haku just glared silently.
"Oooh, scary!" Naruto mocked. "Well, we can't have that!" With that he removed Yukianesa's blade from Haku's throat and stuck it into a tree branch.
Immediately the entire area from below Haku's waist right down to the tree branch became frozen.
"W-What have you done to me?"
Naruto smirked. "Just a little precaution." He stated. "How about this, do what I say and I guarantee Zabuza's survival."
Haku's eyes widened. "Yes, I will do as you say."
The smirk widened. "Great! For now let's just wait and watch Zabuza and Kakashi fight…"
"H-Hai…" Haku stuttered helplessly. 'I have to find a way out!'
Meanwhile, after a few water clone duels, Zabuza managed to throw Kakashi into the water and catch him with Suiro no jutsu.
"Ha! I knew this moron will lose!" Naruto stated.
"Haku!" Zabuza suddenly shouted. "Incapacitate this one!"
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Oppa…"
"Haku?" Zabuza repeated.
"Well, I guess our watch time is over." Naruto stated, placing Yukianesa's tip on Haku's throat once again.
"Haku?"
"Well, it was fun while it lasted. Don't worry, I'll kill him quickly."
Haku's eyes widened in fear. "B-But you promised!"
Naruto grinned evilly. "Never trust a Rattlesnake." He stated and prepared to strike…
"Haku-chan!"
"Damn!" Naruto hissed, somersaulting backwards from the tree branch. "You two morons again?"
"Gozu, Meizu, no!" Haku shouted.
"We'll protect you, Haku-chan!" They shouted in unison and charged at Naruto.
"Wait a second… Haku-chan? So you really are a bitch!"
"Die, Rattlesnake!" Demon brothers attacked with their claws.
"Shut up!" Naruto grunted, sidestepping and kicking them both in their faces.
"Gah!" Brothers gasped as they were sent flying into nearby trees.
"Hishouken!" Naruto waved his right hand, sending two ice blades, which stabbed both brothers through their chests and pinned them to their respective trees.
"NO!" Haku screamed in horror.
Naruto smirked. "Well, as promised! Musou!" With that he created a sharp spear like platform of ice, jumped on it and flew towards Demon of the Hidden Mist at incredible speed.
"ZABUZA-SAMA!" Haku screamed once again.
"Damn, what a loud bitch…" Naruto muttered, getting closer to his enemy.
"Fuck!" Zabuza noticed him, released Kakashi and tried to block the incoming attack with his sword. Yes, he succeeded at that, blocking spear-like platform…
Naruto however jumped off of it over him and was one second away from removing Zabuza's head.
"Senshouzan!" Naruto shouted, performing peerless downward slash.
'SHIT!' Zabuza could only think, before katana's blade connected with…
CRACK.
…Ice mirror…
"Ah!"
Naruto was able to cut through the mirror, but Zabuza managed to escape the critical hit, receiving just a deep cut on his shoulder.
"Zabuza-sama!" Haku shouted, landing near her master.
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "How did you…?"
Haku glared in anger. "You should've frozen my arms as well!" She spat.
Jin nodded. "Great idea! Will do next time!"
"There won't be any next time!" Zabuza stated. "I have waited for this, Rattlesnake! You won't escape from me this time!"
"Ahahahahaha!" Naruto laughed hard. "Me? Won't escape? Look at the situation first, you moron! Your left arm is useless now, your little bitch just stood frozen for about ten minutes, and two other motherfuckers are dead. No, Zabuza, I think you won't escape this time!"
"We'll see about that!"
"Zabuza-sama!" Haku interrupted. "Please, we won't be able to defeat him at our current state, besides he has two jounins as support."
Mist ninja gritted his teeth. "This isn't over, Rattlesnake! I'll be back before you know it!" He screamed and he and Haku burst into water.
"Hmm, they really did escape… oh well." Naruto dismissed his sword and turned around… only to come face to face with a really pissed off Kakashi.
"I think we should talk, Kisaragi." He stated.
Jin shrugged. "If I must…"
"Yes, you do!" Kakashi stated. "And…"
He fell over.
"Hahahahaha! Nice talking to you too, Kakashi! That's what happens when you use Sharingan's power for long! And he doesn't even have any Uchiha blood in him. Moron… still…" Naruto said, picking masked jounin from water where he landed.
With the others…
"Kakashi-sensei, Jin!" Tsubaki yelled. "Are you alright? What happened to sensei?"
"Used Sharingan too much." Naruto stated, placing the jounin down.
"Moron." Anko stated. "I told him to let me help, but no! Teamwork rules!"
Naruto sighed. "You're not helping, Anko. Better give me a hand in carrying him."
Kunoichi snorted. "Ha! You wish!"
"Tch… Sasuke?" Jin asked.
"Hn." The Uchiha replied, but still helped. "I would like to know where he got that eye though…"
Naruto shook his head. "Not my place. Ask him when he wakes up."
Sasuke nodded.
"Tazuna-san?" Tsubaki started.
"Yes?"
"I think all crap with bitching about the lack of money in Wave and the reason for your lie can wait. Your house?"
The bridge builder nodded hastily. "O-Of course! Right this way!"
Tazuna's house…
"Tsunami!" Tazuna knocked on his house door. "Tsunami, open up!"
"Father!" A pretty middle aged woman exclaimed, opening the door. "I'm glad you're alive!" She said hugging him.
"Well, say thanks to these guys." Bridge builder pointed at Konoha group.
Tsunami bowed respectfully. "Thank you for keeping my father alive."
"Well, that's pretty touching and all, but can we get inside to lay this son of a bitch down?" Naruto asked, pointing at unconscious Kakashi on his shoulder. "He's pretty heavy, you know…"
The woman nodded hastily. "O-Of course! Right this way…"
Twenty minutes later…
"Well…" Anko started when the entire group minus Kakashi sat behind the table. "Maybe someone will finally tell me what the fuck is going on around?"
"This country looks really bad…" Sakura stated. "What in the world has happened to it?"
"Gato happened." Tazuna spat.
Naruto nodded. 'Gato! Of course, I helped him start here! I might also say he overdid a little… well, not my damn business…'
"He came to this country and took control of all shipment." Tsunami explained. "We are a small island country, so ships are the only way for us to trade…"
"Until the bridge is built!" Tazuna stated. "It will save our country!"
Naruto snorted.
"Jin?" Tsubaki asked.
"What's so funny?" The old man asked.
"Hmm, let's see… well you of course!"
"What's so funny about me?"
Naruto turned his head. "I'm surprised you're not laughing, Anko."
The kunoichi grinned evilly. "Oh, I do! I was just waiting for you! Hahahahaha!"
"Why are you laughing?" Tsunami asked.
Jin shook his head. "Sorry for breaking it to you, miss…"
"Tsunami."
"Right! Sorry for breaking it to you, Miss Tsunami, but your idea is not going to work."
Tazuna's eyes widened. "No, it will! And…"
"Yeah, I can't see any flukes." Sakura added.
Anko started to laugh louder and Naruto rolled his eyes.
"Well how about Gato comes over and blows up your bridge?" He asked with sarcasm.
Tazuna's jaw fell. "Wha…? No, he wouldn't dare!"
"Oh pu-lease!" Surprisingly it came from Sasuke. "If he could do this to your country and get away with it, then what's stopping him from blowing up your bridge?"
The old man gritted his teeth in anger.
"Not just that." Naruto added. "Your economics is so fucked up, that even if you do finish that bridge; it is faaaaaaar too late to change something."
"Dammit!" Tazuna hit the table with his fist. "I don't care! I won't give up and finish it! Even if Wave won't stand up from its knees, I will know that I did all I could."
"Ho, a worthy goal." Naruto commented.
"By the way, is this Gato guy rich?" Anko asked.
"Very." Tsunami replied. "He's one of the wealthiest people in the world."
"Cool…" Purple haired kunoichi muttered. "No wonder he hired someone like Zabuza! With his money, he could probably hire Hokage-sama himself!"
"No, father would never work for a man like that!" Tsubaki stated.
Anko waved her off. "Please! You're too young, girl. If you have forgotten, we are ninjas. We kill people for money! Honor be damned."
"Still… why was Zabuza so focused on you at the beginning?" Sasuke asked Naruto.
The blonde genin smiled sheepishly. "Umm… well… I kind of fucked up his plans…"
"Fucked up in which way?" Anko asked.
"It's a long story, and…"
"Grandpa!" Small kid ran into the room.
"Inari!" Tazuna hugged the kid and smiled. "I'm glad you're okay."
"You're finally back, grandpa…" The kid muttered.
"So, who's the kid?" Anko asked.
"Inari. He's my son." Tsunami answered.
"And where's his father?" Tsubaki asked.
The woman frowned. "His father… He's…"
Suddenly…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Inari suddenly shot up, ran into the farthest corner of the room, crumbled and continued to scream.
"What's up with him?" Anko asked in amusement.
"Shh, Inari. What's wrong?" Tsunami tried to calm her son down, kneeling in front of him.
"Mom! It's him! AAAAAAAAAAH! It's him!" Small boy screamed in fear.
"Who? Kisaragi-san?" The woman asked.
'Never knew I was that scary…'
"He… HE KILLED DAD!"
Everyone turned to Naruto in shock… or in Anko's case with amused smile.
The person in question smiled sheepishly again. "Aha… ahaha… umm… oppa."
...
Aaaaaaand that's it for today.
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And don't forget to kill at least one granny.
Darthemius.