You know the episode called silly love songs? And Quinn and Finn has mono even though none of the writers of glee seemed to be familiar with just mono? Awesome! You remember it, great! Well then. This is set in Carole's point of view, and is set not long after Rachel have in the nurse's room talking to Finn… Okay, here we go.

X is for XOXO

"Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it." I repeated swearing to myself while rushing through the hallways of William McKinley high school towards the nurse. How on earth did I let work get in the way when my son was ill? "Nurse?" She looked up when I came to the door. "Fi…" I barely even had the time to open my mouth before the nurse pointed to one of the curtains. And I could tell she wasn't happy with me. But forgot about it when I came around the curtain and spotted the tall frame of my son on one of the bunks and he barely even had the energy to lift his head and open his eyes when he heard me coming.

"I am so sorry honey." I walked over to the bunk and kneeled down to his height. "I got caught up at work. There was this huge car accident and…" I stopped talking when Finn moaned and his head slumped back towards the pillow. "Okay, let's get you home and to bed." Finn moaned again when I had to half pull him half push him up into sitting position. And then sit by next to him so he wouldn't tip over to the side.

"Mum."

It didn't really seem to have hit Finn until now who was actually talking to him. And I had to give a few seconds onto how exactly I would get both Finn and myself out to the car. But I had to start somewhere, and with that I mostly forced Finn onto his feet and let him lean against me (with the conclusion I almost fell) while we first made our way through the nurse's office and to the hallway.

"Finn, Carole."

I didn't get as far to a conclusion about how I was going to get Finn in his state all the way out to my car before I heard a voice behind me and turned around so fast that if Finn hadn't been so big as he was. I would probably have sent him flying across the hallway like a glove. I had to turn towards Finn again, but before that I knew I had caught a glimpse of Mr. Schue's curly thatch.

"Oh dear." Mr. Schue held his bag back with one hand and with the other he took Finn's hand on the other side from me and lifted Finn's arm around his shoulders. "How you're doing body?"

"Ugh."

Finn didn't seem to have any energy to speak and just moaned at Mr. Schuester's question. Then- with one arm around my shoulders and the other around Mr. Schue's we slowly started making our way through the hallway and towards my car.

"What happened?" I asked, turning to Mr. Schuester. "The nurse seemed mostly grumpy about having gotten so late before I could pick Finn up so she didn't tell me anything. And when they called they just said that Finn wasn't feeling well…" I looked up at Finn who was just moaning and seemed to be half asleep. "…And honestly that part is just obvious." Mr. Schue let hear a short chuckle.

"Sorry, it's not funny at all. But during glee club I noticed Finn and Quinn seeming a bit… well, tired and not too well. Then Tina got a bit emotional over singing to Mike. And while Mike and I went to comfort they started stating they were going to the nurse. When I came on again and Tina had calmed down they were gone. But somehow I got a feeling that Santana just might be behind this. She said something about the kissing disease."

I frowned at him- how on earth would Santana be able to behind this? Oh well, if this was mono- as they called the kissing disease, we would have more important things to worry about and don't ask me how- but somehow we got out to my SUV and pushed Finn into the back seat and I somehow managed to get the seatbelt around him before he fell to the side and seemed to almost fall asleep as soon as I had let him go and closed the car door.

"Thank you Mr. Schuester." I said and walked around the car to the driver's seat. But it seemed like Mr. Schuester wanted to say something so I stopped with the door open. "Was there something you wanted?"

"Not the right time but… you're not a student, so just call me Will." I didn't get a chance to answer that before he started walking backwards towards his car. "Tell Finn to get well as soon as he is… well, alive again. Bye." I raised my hand in a wave- but even though it didn't seem like he had even seen it I got into the car and turned the key- now we just needed to get home as fast as possible. And I prayed to God that Burt would be home- there was no way I was going to get Finn up the stairs on my own. And I doubted that Finn would be any help of himself.

When we came down the road I could see Burt coming from the other side. He was still laughing when we came close enough to see it and we pulled over on each side of the parking lot at pretty much the same. While Burt seemed to be finding this very funny and I just got out as fast as I could- so fast I had to go back and pull up the keys.

"I…I…"

"Burt, I need your help." He silent, stopped laughing and frowned. "Finn's ill, I think it's mono, he can barely stand on his feet and I need you to help me getting him inside and to bed." Burt didn't waste time answering me. He rushed over and opened the door on the side Finn laid and already before I was around the car he had reached in to unbutton the belt and more pull than anything else to get Finn out.

It can't have been ten meters in between the car door and the porch steps. But I couldn't remember or imagine a time where it had taken us, or anyone as long to get those few meters. Finn was mostly hanging on our shoulders and about every other step- and they were short and slow. We had to stop and help Finn so he got steady on his feet again.

"Okay, there you go." It felt like ages before we were there but at last we could let go and Finn fell into his bed. "And now you're lying on top of the covers." I signed to Burt to just get out and helped Finn get his shoes off and under the covers instead of over. And when he after that was all asleep instead of half-asleep I got the ear thermometer and put it on the bedside table before I headed downstairs again.

"I need you to go to the store for me." Burt just nodded. "Honey and lemon-strepsils, chicken and noddle soup, orange juice." Burt nodded at everything I told him to buy. "And you know that apple shower gel that Finn always says smell good while I thing it smells monkey?" He nodded. "And you know how after being ill you shower and get all of that Yuk off." He nodded again. "Yeah, that is the only gel he will use then." Burt just raised an eyebrow. "Would you really think he'd care about if it was for men and women?" now he just shook his head. "Exactly, all of that, straws and vanilla ice cream. And seriously, do not try and change anything. Do you want a list?" Burt shook his head. "You do know if you forget anything I'll send you back to the store?" He just laughed. "You think I'm acting crazy right?"

"No." Burt came closer and laid his arms around my neck. "I think you're acting like a mum who wants the best for her son when he's ill. Ain't nothing strange about that." He hugged me tighter and rubbed my back. "Tell you what! You let go of all of that control and don't give me a list. It should be another while before Kurt drives from Dalton so if I forget anything we'll ask Kurt to stop by and buy it on his way home. Okay?"

"Fair enough." I leaned in to kiss him but right before we heard Finn coughing loudly upstairs and I pulled away. "Okay, now you do think I'm acting crazy." Burt shook his head slightly and reached for the jacket he had hung over one of the kitchen chairs.

"Nope, still acting like a mum."

Finn was coughing so his whole body shook. And seeing him sitting hunched over and barely able to breathe wanted me to pull him out of the bed, take him to the hospital and then not leave again until they had found a way for me to take all of these symptoms instead of my son having to do that. But for now, and for real there wasn't anything else for me to do than to try and calm him down.

"Sch, sch, sch." I rubbed his back while Finn's coughing seemed more and more panicking. "It's okay honey. It's okay. Try and breathe in. That's it! Deep breath…" The sudden breath only made another cough attack start wrenching his body and with the hand that I wasn't rubbing his back with I held onto his hand. And for every cough that went by- especially when he was almost losing his breath he gripped tighter and tighter- until I knew for sure I was going to get bruises. I didn't say a word about it though. Whatever it would take!

At last, the coughing stopped, and Finn slumped back towards the sheets while I draped the covers over him again. His breaths were still short and shallow but while I stroke his hair and shushed gently they got slower and deeper by each and every one. And at last Finn relax and seemed to sink deeper into the sheets and didn't even flinch when I put the thermometer into his ear. Which I knew he hated otherwise.

"104…" I felt a frown form in between my eyes while I brushed my hand over his forehead again after pulling that thermometer out of his ear. "Oh, you poor thing. You're burning up." Finn didn't reply to that. But I felt his response in the way he pushed himself up and leaned heavily against my shoulder and snuggled his face into my shirt. "It's okay honey. You lay down again okay?" Finn seemed half asleep already and it almost hurt that I had to push him away to lie down. I did not want him sleeping against me.

If he would sleep against me the most realistic end of it would be that we both ended up on the floor. And if we didn't I wouldn't be able to get anywhere without waking him up. But at last, I could have him lie down and I spread all of those blankets over him. Finn was so gone into unconsciousness he didn't seem to notice, but then grabbed a corner of it and started snuggling up against his chin. Oh my- in moments like this he was more than ever reminding me of that baby I had been cradling. And with that I had to leave the room for a short moment when I heard Burt came back from the grocery store. And it would be best I searched through them fast so Kurt could drive by and buy whatever Burt had forgotten this time.

"Honey." I rubbed my temples after unpacking the groceries. "How is it that you remember everything except the most important?" Burt raised an eyebrow and pulled up his phone. "Strepsils, honey and lemon." He just nodded. And then started dialing his son's number while I went upstairs where my son laid on his stomach, his head still on the pillow but awake, and with a thoughtful look in his eyes.

"Mum?"

"Yes honey?"

"Is it true that they call this the kissing disease?" Finn raised his head and looked at me and I just nodded. "Well…Then you could kind of call it the XOXO disease. Since, you get it from the X. Kissing. And now I'm ill. And you keep on giving me the O's. With hugging. Like you always do"

Someone that didn't know Finn as well as I did might have thought those weird thoughts meant that he had gone delirious. But I knew that his thinking was just… Finn! And I smiled, and while thinking for an answer I brushed my hand through his fringe again.

Towards the evening, I had almost fallen asleep in that chair. I had been expecting to wake up within ten minutes though, or at least as soon as Finn had another coughing fit. And maybe the expectations of that drama was the cause to why I flinched when I woke up by a hand tenderly stroking my cheek and a voice that sounded low and loving.

"Honey?" I looked up and my eyes met Burt's who were green and distressed. "Come on, it's late. You should go to bed."

"I can't leave Finn."

"You need to sleep too!"

"I need to stay with Finn." My voice sounded more forced and demanding than what I had planned. Burt sighed. "Don't sigh like that. You don't know what it's like okay? You… You don't know so if that was everything you wanted then just leave." I didn't mean to snap at my husband. But for a moment I had just been too overwhelmed by… Well, by everything lately. And with that, Burt nodded. And then turned around and with heavy steps he continued towards our bedroom. While I lifted my pager from the pocket in my jeans and checked it so it hadn't been beeping. It hadn't. So I just put it at the bedside table, and hoped that it wouldn't light up again tonight.

It didn't. Not once, which was lucky. Because every time Finn was coughing his lungs out I knew and felt that I had to be there, rub his back and gently sooth him with my voice. Every time he was cold I had to be there with another blanket. And every time he was warm I had to be there again and pull it off and dab his forehead with a wet cloth.

This had happened so many times though, so I almost did it all on automat.

"Morning Carole." When Burt came out of bed in the morning I had moved from that chair down to the floor where I sat leaning my back towards the dresser. Too tired to answer him- and too stubborn to admit that something was wrong. And on top of that too caring to leave my son. Even though he hadn't had another coughing fit in a while and was now sleeping deeply.

"Hey." I decided to ignore the fact that I had snapped at him. Burt came walking and sat down on the floor next to me. And while he sat down I couldn't help but to put my head in my hands and while I tried not to make a sound my body shook while I couldn't help but to let a few silent tears run down my cheeks.

"Hey. Love…" Burt laid his arm around my shoulders and rubbed my arm. "Talk to me. You know you can tell me anything?" I breathed in and tried to answer, but before I had had the time I broke down into even more sobs. "Hey. It's alright." He pulled me into his embrace "Sch, sch, sch it's… Oh, honey." He had run his hand over my forehead like I would do for Finn. But he didn't stop and laid his hand towards my forehead again no matter how I tried to push him away. "You're burning up. I think you're ill too."

"Burt, I'm not." It was hopeless, he had already reached up and grabbed the thermometer that he had stuck into my ear before I had the time to protest anything else. "I'm not ill, I'm just…" At the signal, he pulled it out and held it to me. "97, 8" He just raised an eyebrow and I sighed- I couldn't lie to him. "102, 8" He laid the thermometer to the side. "No, I can't leave Finn here I…" As on a given signal Finn started coughing again, without waking up this time and I crawled onto my feet. "It's okay honey, it's alright… Whoa."

"Hey, hey, hey." I was hit by a dizziness spell and Burt quickly caught me when I swayed- even though the spinning was over as soon as it came. "It's okay, I've got you." He tried to lead me back and into the chair again. But before he had the chance I had pushed him away again and he sighed. "Carole, how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

It was a lie- I wasn't fine. Damn it, I didn't dare to figure how many hours I had slept since the beginning of the week because it would probably have me fall over. But even though I knew it was a lie, I kind of hoped Burt wouldn't. Even though one part of me hoped that he would and was happy when Burt gently forced me to turn towards him.

"Now." He took each of my hands in his and looked me straight into the eyes. "How are you really feeling?" I didn't get a chance to answer. Suddenly I was shaking with sobs again, that I really had to fight to keep silent and Burt pulled me back into his embrace. "It's alright. It's okay." He held me tight while one tear after the other rolled down my cheek and down onto his shirt. "I'm right here."

"Come." At last when I could breathe in again without breaking down into sobs I backed out of Finn's room and pulled Burt with me for us not to wake Finn up with talking as I closed the door. "I…" I took a deep breath but couldn't keep my voice from breaking. "I'm so tired... I don't know what to do with myself. There are these stupid bugs going around town and while the ER is jammed with people we are short of staff. Especially the nurses, so someone came up with. Hey, let Carole Hudson have a pager on her, she will come in no matter what. And so they did…"

"So that why you were always gone when I woke up! Sorry, continue…"

"…And of course. I manage to catch one of those bugs at the same goddamn time as Finn needs me and… Damn it." Another spell of dizziness hit me and I leaned back towards Burt's shoulder and there came the rest. "And I feel dizzy and nauseas and cold and… I just need to take care of Finn." Burt tried to say something. "There's no point honey. If he wakes up and I'm not there… Well…" I just looked him in the eyes and hoped that he'd understand. "…I'm sorry. I'm just so… darn tired." Burt nodded, then seemed to have an idea. "What?"

"It wouldn't be weird if you got ill right now with all of that and then Finn and then you haven't been sleeping… How about…" He rubbed his chin. "I know it's late. But I could never get around to give it to you. There is a Valentine's present lying on the table in the kitchen. I think it will help in this very now. And while you… go and get it. And do what you need, you're going to get it when you see it." I raised an eyebrow. "I know honey, but it will make sense. And I've got an idea." I sighed at him understanding that he wouldn't tell me more if I didn't do as I was told. So I just turned around, went to get changed, and then walked down into the kitchen dressed in Burt's biggest and softest pyjamas.

I couldn't help but smile when I came into the kitchen and right away found a present wrapped in red and heart- printed wrapping paper. Even though I was by now so tired it got extremely hard to get all of the tape off and the whole present unwrapped. But then standing there with this soft, hot water bottle teddy bear with a red heart on its belly I couldn't help but smile bigger than ever. Say what you want about Burt's ability- or inability to buy presents. But this was just really sweet. And everything I would have needed right now.

"Good morning." While I stood and waited for water to heat up Kurt came out of bed and into the kitchen. "How's Finn? Sleeping?" I nodded and Kurt poured up a glass of water. "And how are you?" I didn't answer that and used the excuse of that the water had heated up enough to pour it up into that teddy bear and bring it with me to walk back upstairs. I could feel Kurt's vision following me though. And it didn't get off before I was out of the kitchen and walking through the living room.

"Oh honey." When I came into Finn's room Burt had moved whatever mattress to the floor by Finn's bed along with the softest pillows and the warmest, comfiest sheets and blankets he could find. And while I pressed that hot water bottle tight he had more or less forced me to lie down, which I did and pulled the covers around me.

It was warm, and slowly heating up I looked up where Finn's arm was hanging off the bed but I pushed it upwards and back onto his bed. I could hear Burt sigh slightly, and it wasn't hard to guess why. I looked down slightly, and thought about looking up at him. But decided that it was probably the best not to before I started explaining.

"I know what I'm doing. But for so many years it was only me and him. There was no one else there to rub his back or feel his forehead. And money was tight so it just felt like my duty that while I couldn't give him everything he wanted- sometimes not even what he needed. I needed to give him all of what I had to give in love, and in care. And I know that if I let him, Finn would be old enough to be left alone even when he's sick. But I just… he's my little boy. And… you think I'm acting crazy right?"

"No, I still only think you're acting like a mum… A mum that have been very alone for a very long time."

"That means one more thing though. I am sick and tired of sleeping on my own and even more now when I have got you right by my side. But you know, I'm pretty sure there could fit two people into this mattress." Burt let hear a short laugh and kneeled to one knee by me. "Forgot about the fact that we're already married?" He laughed again. "No seriously, I'm pretty sure that with a bit of a squeeze we could both fit on here…. What's so funny?"

"It's actually not funny…"

"Then why are you laughing?"

"Because…" Burt held up his hands to silent me. "I was just reminded of how very lucky I am to have you here." I smiled at him and Burt breathed in before he could continue. "But do you know a great thing about having me here?"

"No?"

"Actually two things, one- I'm pretty awesome. And two…" He smiled at me and while I moved backwards he came and lied down next to me. And then softly kissed my fever- warm forehead. "You'll never be alone."

And for the first time in God knows how long. I actually believed him, and with that. I snuggled into his shirt and fell asleep. With feeling the safety of knowing that the one I loved would still be there when I woke up again. And honestly, only knowing that meant a whole lot more than whatever it was the teenagers called XOXO.

But of course- that XOXO wasn't too bad neither!

Random fact

Did you think about the fact that in the end, what Burt does for Carole are partly the same as what Carole did earlier for Finn? Or at least that was my intention. Too tired to go back and check.