*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much!
John:
I get back to my hotel room after having my talk with Natalie. I am still in shock that I am a father. I have a daughter. A real life daughter, I sit down looking at her pictures of her when she was a baby. I wonder if she slept to the night or if she was one of those kids that woke up every hour or every two hours. I feel horrible that I missed all those days. I feel horrible that I never got to watch her grow up for the last 7 ½ years. If Natalie would have told me I would have been there every step of the way. I would have helped her out. I would have been a father. I probably would have given up wrestling for her. 7 ½ years is a long time to not know the truth. I never expected this. I am angry, I am sad, I am happy and I am scared. I have so many emotions running through me right now. Is Angelina going to like me? I am in a daze when Zach comes out of the bathroom. "So did you talk to her?"
"Yes," I say. "I did. I just got back from her house."
"And?" he asks.
"She's my daughter."
"I knew it! So what happened? Why didn't she tell you?"
"Because she was worried about my career. She didn't want me to give up my dream to be a father. She felt that it was best if I never knew."
"And how do you feel about that?"
"I don't know. I'm kind of upset. I would have liked to have known that I got her pregnant and that I had a daughter. She was going to put her up for adoption."
"What happened there?"
"She said she changed her mind but she still couldn't tell me because she didn't want me to ruin my career but I wish she would have told me. She actually changed her mind at the very last minute. The couple was waiting in the waiting room for their baby when she chose not to give them the baby. I'm kind of glad she kept her. I just wish I would have known sooner."
"So what is going to happen now?" asks Zach.
"I'm going to be in her life. I'm going to be a father. Natalie, Angelina and I are going out for dinner tomorrow and we're going to tell her the news. Apparently she doesn't know I am her father."
"I see," says Zach. "There's just one problem."
"Yeah?" I ask not realizing what he's talking about. I don't see a problem with me being a father. I should be a father. I had a part in making that little girl. It is my job to be a father.
"Are you forgetting about your wife; Ashley?" he asks.
I have forgotten all about Ashley. I know she isn't going to be happy. I don't see a point in telling her anything just yet. She doesn't have to know. I don't want her to know because then everything is going to be blown out of proportion. She will definitely go ape shit when she finds out I have a daughter. I don't even know how I am going to break the news to her. I don't' have to until the time comes. "I know. She's going to go ballistic."
"That's an understatement," says Zach.
"I know. She's crazy."
"That's an understatement too," he says. "She's jealous she's going to think you cheated on her now. Are you ready for that fight?"
"We fight all the time anyway. I'm ready for any fight that is going to come along. I didn't cheat on her though. Natalie and I made Angelina WAY before I even knew Ashley existed but she does hate Natalie already so I don't think this is going to turn out well."
"Why does she hate Natalie when she doesn't even know her?"
"Because I often compare the two."
"That's stupid, John. Of course she's going to get upset."
"Oh and she wants to have a baby. If she finds out I have a kid with Natalie she's going to be livid because I told her I don't want to be a father."
"John, you don't have to be a father to Natalie's kid you know that right? If you don't want to be a father all you have to do is walk away. Natalie seems to have done fine without you."
I thought about it. IT would have been easier for me to walk away and not acknowledge my child. Natalie made it seem like she never wanted me there anyway but with my moral background I just can't do that. Angelina deserves a father not some dick that's sleeping with her mom. I have some strong feelings about Natalie's fiancé even though I don't know him that well. I just didn't like the way he was yelling at Natalie. I hope he doesn't yell at her like that in front of Angelina. "I know I can but I won't, Zach and you know why?"
"Why?"
"Because I'm not that kind of guy. Just like God forbid I would get Ashley pregnant I would be a father as much I don't want to be."
"I see," says Zach. "So you're really going to be in this little girl's life?"
"Yes," I say. "Is it crazy?"
"No. I don't think it's crazy. I just don't know how you're going to make this work with being gone all the time."
"I will make it work."
"And what about Natalie?"
"What about her?" I ask. I don't know why he's asking about Natalie. He seems to have some type of obsession with Natalie.
"Are you two going to be able to get along to make this work?"
"Zach, believe it or not I am still in love with Natalie. I have never stopped loving her. I have loved her all this time and now that I know she's the mother of my child. I love her even more. I plan to be civil with her so that I can be a good father."
"So you are still in love with Natalie?"
"Yes," I say. It's true. I am still in love with Natalie. I never stopped loving her. I think that if I wasn't married and she wasn't engaged that I would try again with her but our circumstances are keeping us apart.
"Do you think she's still in love with you?"
"I'm not sure. I can't tell. I don't know," I say.
"Okay," says Zach. "So where are you guys going tomorrow night?"
"I don't know some place here in PA. I am really nervous for this dinner though. How easy can it be to tell a little girl that I am her father and have missed all this time of her life? She's not going to know me. What if she doesn't like me?"
"I'm sure she's going to like you. You two share the same DNA," says Zach.
"I know but she's a little girl. I know nothing about little girls. If she was a boy then yeah I would know a little more or have an idea of what to do with her but she's a girl and I have no idea."
"I can't help you there. Maybe Natalie will help you out with that."
"Hopefully," I say.
Later on in the afternoon shortly before I have to be at the arena I go down to the lobby to check out the scenery. When I step outside I can smell the chocolate in the air. It has such a sweet smell. This is what I love about Hershey. I am standing outside taking in the sweet smell when I hear her voice. "John," says Natalie.
"Hey, I thought you were going back home?" I ask. I thought that was her plan to drop me off and then go back home.
"No. I decided to stay," she says. "What are you doing out here?"
"Just thinking and taking in the sweet smell of chocolate. Does it smell like this all the time?"
"Almost all the time," she says. "But since I live here I'm kind of used to it but it does smell good."
"Yes it does," I say. I feel so nervous around her although I'm not sure why. It's not like I haven't known her for years. There is just something different now about her. Maybe it's because she's a mother; the mother of my child or what I just don't know.
"So what are you thinking about, Cena?" she asks with a smile. She always used to call me Cena. I have to admit that I miss it.
"Nothing, Morgan," I say in return with a smile. "It's just wow. I can't believe I am a father."
"Yeah," she says. "You're a father."
"I feel like my life has so much more meaning now."
"That's how I felt when I decided to keep her. Becoming a parent is a big deal. You just get this feeling that your life means so much more because you have this little person depending on you. I love being a mom. I wouldn't change it for the world."
"Do you think I'll make a good father?" I ask.
"I'm sure you will," she says. "You're a good guy, John. I'm sure you'll be a good father but just promise me you won't come in her life and then leave. I can't set her up to be hurt."
"Natalie, I would never do that. I will be in her life and stay in her life. I would never hurt her. I am not that kind of guy. Do you think she'll like me?"
"I think she already does," she answers.
I'm not even sure what that is supposed to mean. She met me for 10 minutes last night there's no way she has any judgment about me besides that was before she knew I was her father. Things could be different now. "What does that mean?" I ask.
"It just means I have never seen her so open to anyone she didn't know in my life like she was with you last night. It took her a while to warm up to Max but last night she took to you instantly," she says.
"I can see how it can take her a while to warm up to Max," I say. It's not my intent to start a conversation about Max but I really don't like the guy.
"What's that supposed to mean?" she asks looking at me with her beautiful brown eyes. I have always loved those eyes.
"Max doesn't seem like a friendly guy," I say.
"Max isn't that bad," she says. "He's a good guy."
"Good guys don't yell at their fiancés the way he was yelling at you earlier," I say. I can't help myself I still care.
"He's just under a lot of stress right now. He doesn't mean it. He's still a good guy."
"I don't know," I say. "So he treats you well?"
She's quiet for a few seconds before she says, "he treats me well. He treats Angelina well too if you want to know."
"I do. As long as he treats you well," I say but there is something about her body language that tells me different. She's shifting back and forth. She just has a nervousness about her when I talk about him and how he treats her. "Are you sure he treats you well?"
"I'm sure, John," she says.
"Well, that's good because you deserve the best," I say with a smile. She does deserve the best. I have no anger toward Natalie because I know her heart was in the right place when she kept Angelina a secret from me but I do wish she had told me sooner. I would have been there I would have liked to experience everything from the beginning with her. Not to mention if she had told me about Angelina we would probably be together and I wouldn't be with Ashley and she wouldn't be with this Max character. "You know I care about you right?"
"Yes," she says. "I know."
"And I just want to make sure you're happy."
"I am happy," she says. "I'm very happy."
"Okay," I say but still there is something off about her behavior. Something is telling me she isn't happy.
We are soon interrupted by a young girl no older than 21. "I'm sorry," she says, "but Natalie I need you."
"Okay. I'll be right there," she says.
"Thank-you," says the girl before she goes inside.
"John, I have to go. I'll talk to you later and if not I will see you tomorrow evening."
"All right," I say. "Take care of yourself," I say as I pull her in for a hug. "I really do care about you, Nat."
"I know," she says. "I know."
"Okay," I say before letting her go. I watch her walk inside the building and I know I will never stop caring about her and not just stop caring about her. I will NEVER stop loving her.
*A/N: So what did you think? Please review and thank-you for reading.