Darthemius: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Trish: AAAAAAAAAHHH! Why the fuck are you screaming?
Darthemius: What are you doing in my bed?
Trish: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm sleeping, you asshole. And you just woke me up.
Darthemius (Sarcastically): Yeah, I can see that much. I meant WHY are you sleeping in my bed?
Trish: Because I'm tired from last night.
Darthemius (Clutching his head): Oh… How much did I drink yesterday?
Trish (Rolling her eyes): Before or after we ran out of vodka?
Darthemius: Shit… Still, why were we drinking last night?
Trish: Simple, we celebrated my new apartment!
Darthemius: What apartment?
Trish (Smiling sweetly): Take a guess.
Darthemius (With wide eyes): OH NO! It's enough that I have to put up with Naruto and…
Naruto: And FINALLY! Naruto has come back to… Shit, you started without me! Now that ain't fair!
Darthemius: Wha…? Why are you in your EHD outfit?
Naruto (Readjusting is sunglasses): Hey now! I wear different crap in this story, yeah. That doesn't mean I have to be another person right now! This is AN, not the story.
Darthemius: Oh, right… By the way, shouldn't you be at work today, Trish?
Trish: Nope, I quit yesterday.
Naruto (raising an eyebrow): What about money?
Trish (Smiling brightly): I received my first paycheck for EHD 2 from Darthy!
Darthemius: Since when am I Darthy?
Trish: Since you made me cum three times in a row.
Naruto: Shit, that's a feat… Remember when we did it in EHD?
Trish: Yeah, those were good times…
Naruto: Say, which one of us was better?
Trish (Deep in thoughts): Shit… You just asked what's better between a spear and a sword…
Naruto: Heard that? I've got a spear!
Darthemius (Shrugging): Well, I'm fine with my sword.
Trish: That was just a metaphor, you morons.
Naruto: Umm… well…
?: Cola delivery!
Nauto: AT LAST! (Running to the door) Come to me, my precious.
Darthemius: Hmhmhm… Thanks for setting him straight.
Trish: You're welcome. Just make me pass out from orgasm again.
Darthemius: Fine, fine… Now go and stop him from drinking everything, I want some too.
Trish: Alright.
Darthemius: Okay, now that I'm finally alone, let's masturbate… I mean, let's do the actual AN, ahehe…
Actually, there's nothing much to tell. You know I love you all and… Oh yeah!
Claimer: I own Naruto!
Darthmius: There, done!
Naruto: What the fuck? You don't own me!
Darthemius: Oh yeah? Then get the fuck out of my place!
Naruto: Umm… Okay, you own me.
Darthemius: I thought so. Also, to a guy who pointed me to that Harry Potter story. Man, that's not EHD, he simply inserted The Rock's catchphrases. But thanks anyway, I almost shit myself from laughter when he said: "…the Harry has come back…" I couldn't fucking stop myself!
Oh, and nothing happened to the update. I simply got called for work. Now enough of my shit. Let's do it!
...
Chapter seven: Master and the Rattlesnake, or when traitors collide.
"Shin-ne!" – talks.
'Nah!' – thoughts.
...
Training ground 44…
"Welcome to the training ground 44, also known as the Forest of death!" Anko stated. "Now in order to take this exam, you need to sign these forms…"
"What for?" Someone asked.
The Kunoichi smirked. "Killings are allowed in this portion. So, by signing these forms you relieve Konohagakure of any responsibility for your possible injury or death."
"Thank God! Some action at last." Naruto stated. "Let's get this over with. Where do I sign?"
"Here, take one."
"Someone's eager." Tsubaki grinned.
"Of course!" Naruto replied. "I hate paperwork! I just need to kill something right now."
The girl paled.
"What?"
"My father always says the same thing…"
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? I'll buy him a drink then."
"So, umm… What's your strategy?" Tsubaki asked. "Cus you know… You're on your own and all…"
"I think I'll have some fun…" He replied. "Oh, and don't try looking for me."
The girl huffed. "Who said I would?" She said, turning away from him.
"Uh-uh." Jin exclaimed, putting his hand under her chin and turning her head back to him. "Don't lie to me. I can see through you."
Tsubaki sighed. "Am I that obvious?"
"Yep."
"Asshole."
"I know. Don't miss me too much… and…"
"What?"
"…Don't die."
Tsubaki's nodded reluctantly. "Okay… I promise."
Timeskip…
"BEGIN!"
All gates opened simultaneously.
"Uwaaaah…" Naruto yawned and entered the forest. "Now where is this snake imbecile…?" He closed his eyes. "Ahh, there… And looks like he's speeding up towards Tsubaki's team. Hmm, what to do…?"
Deep in thoughts, he hadn't notice when…
"Halt!" Three Ame genins landed around him.
"Wha…?" Naruto asked in confusion. "How did you get here so fast?"
"None of your business, loser!" One of them stated. "Now hand over whatever scroll you have, or we'll kill you on the spot!"
Naruto scratched the back of his head. "Umm… okay." He took out his scroll and threw it at Ame genin. "Catch!"
The genin did so and smiled. "Smart thinking, but we'll kill…" He however was not able to finish…
SLASH.
…Because his head was separated from his body.
"Kenji!" The only girl in Ame team screamed…
Apparently it was the last thing she screamed.
"Hishouken!"
"You…" The last Ame nin backed away in fear. "Please don't kill me!"
Jin rolled his eyes. "Okay, give me your scroll."
"S-Sure!" The genin replied hopefully, taking out Heaven scroll.
"Well, what do you know! Just the scroll I need!" Naruto exclaimed.
"Y-You'll let me go now, right?"
"Wrong. Hishouken!"
Ame genin could only gasp when another ice blade pierced his stomach.
"Never trust a Rattlesnake." Jin stated, turning around. Only to…
"Jin Kisaragi!" This time it was a team from Iwa. "My revenge is here!"
Naruto slapped his forehead. 'I wonder if Orochimaru is enduring this annoyance too…' He thought, walking toward his next victims.
With team seven…
"What did you do to Sakura?" Sasuke asked the imposter under Sakura's henge.
"Hmhmhm…" The impostor chuckled and dropped his disguise. It appeared to be some Ame shinobi with breathing mask. "She's alright… for now. But you'd better hand over your scroll, or…"
"Now, Tsubaki!" Sasuke interrupted.
"Fuuton: Daitoppa!"
"Guah!" Ame nin yelled as he was thrown backwards by a strong wind blow.
"Sasuke!"
"Got it! Katon: Goukakyu no jutsu!" Uchiha added his fireball to Tsubaki's jutsu, creating one massive destruction.
"Looks like we got him." Tsubaki stated, looking over Ame shinobi's scorched dead body.
"It appears so…"
"Hey, someone untie me!" They heard a familiar voice.
Two genins sighed. "Will you, or should I?"
"I'll do it." Sasuke responded. "You search this one for a scroll."
"Maaan…" Tsubaki crouched in front of the corpse. "I wonder if Jin-kun's enduring this annoyance too…"
With Naruto…
"Ahh! The scenery looks much better now!" Naruto stated, sitting on a rock.
Suddenly…
"Jin Kisaragi! You… Holy shit!"
Jin rolled his eyes. "Thank you very much for the nice comment. Anyway, are you here for my scroll, or do you want some revenge?" He asked, looking over the forest clearing he was in… which now had about twenty dead bodies lying around. "Well, if you want a scroll, just take one and leave. But if you want revenge…" The blonde glanced at dead bodies again. "No one's waiting."
"A-Are you sure about this, Tanaki?"
Kumo genin gulped. "Y-You killed my father! I can't back down now!"
Naruto sighed. "Damn, another avenger…" He hissed, standing up. "Well, what are you waiting for? Attack and die."
"I-I…"
"Fine, I'll do it for you." Jin blurred out of view and appeared between three teammates. "Sekkajin!"
"AAAAAAAAAHHH!" They screamed as Naruto started slashing around himself with his sword.
CLICK.
Jin sheathed Yukianesa. "Enough of this shit. I have a reunion in my schedule!"
With team seven…
"Who are you? What do you want?" Tsubaki asked.
"Kukukuku!" Kusa shonobi chuckled. "Pretty silly to ask that on a battlefield, ne?"
"You want our scroll then!" Sakura said.
"Not quite…"
"Then what?"
"I'm simply here to kill all of you!" Kusa nin said, unleashing his Ki.
Team seven immediately gasped and fell to their knees after seeing their own death.
"Weak." Their enemy said in disappointment. "I was expecting more out of you…" He stopped when Tsubaki started to slowly got up.
"I… can't die here! I made a promise!" She shouted, glaring at him.
"Oh? Now that's determination!" Enemy shinobi said, clapping. "I actually came here to test Sasuke-kun, but I guess I can spare some time to test your skills too."
"Sasuke." Tsubaki started. "Take Sakura and run."
"B-But what about you?" Uchiha asked.
"Don't wait for me, go!" Hokage's daughter ordered.
Sasuke held a pause. "I… I'll return for you!" Then he grabbed Sakura and jumped away.
"Kukuku, now that's noble!" Kusa nin stated. "Sacrificing yourself for your teammates. Pure Konoha style! Morons never change."
Tsubaki tilted her head. "You're speaking like you're from here…"
He smirked. "Maybe because I am."
"Oh really? And who do you claim to be? Orochimaru himself?"
Kusa nin looked at her in slight shock. "How did you know?"
"Haha, pretty funny." The red head replied… only for Orochimaru to tear off his own face. "Holy hell, you are Orochimaru!"
"That's right, girl. Do you understand now that you're no match for me?"
"Of course I do." She nodded. "But I sure as hell won't go down without a fight!"
Orochimaru grinned evilly. "You know, I like you…"
"Well, sorry, but my heart belongs to another." Tsubaki responded.
"Too bad, then I'll have to kill you. Senei-ta jashu!" Orochimaru shouted, shooting several snakes from his arm.
"Shit!" Tsubaki exclaimed, hiding behind a tree.
"You can't hide from me." One of the sannins stated.
"Who said I was trying to hide?" Tsubaki left her cover, slashing at him with blade of wind.
"Oh? Kaze no Yaiba? A pretty advanced technique for your age." Sannin stated. "You have to be commended, but… It won't be enough to defeat me!"
"Damn!" The girl cursed. Orochimaru was simply too fast for her to hit. In fact, he was so fast that she could barely spot him.
"Gah!" She didn't even notice how he punched her in the gut.
"You are very skilled for a genin." Orochimaru admitted. "Come with me, and I will give you more power than you can imagine!"
Tsubaki glared at him. "Never! If I do that, Jin will never forgive me."
Orochimaru's eyes widened. "Jin? As in Jin Kisaragi?"
"Yes."
"Hahahahahaha!" The sannin laughed hard. "He wouldn't even care if you defect! That guy is a traitor to the core! He betrayed everyone he knew in his worthless life! Believe me, girl." He moved closer and looked her right in the eye. "No matter what you tell yourself, Jin Kisaragi does not care about you."
"DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT JIN-KUN!" Tsubaki suddenly screamed and Orochimaru was surprised yet again when her eyes changed color.
"Wha…?" His eyebrows rose. "But that's impossible…"
Tsubaki's eyes were now red, with slits instead of pupils.
"I thought he was the only one… Hmm." He wondered. 'Killing her might not be the best idea…'
"I'll tear you apart!" The girl yelled and lunged at him.
"Wow, she became faster." Orochimaru said, dodging her punch. "But not fast enough!" He then grabbed her wrist and threw her into a tree, pinning red haired girl by the throat afterwards.
"Let me see…" He muttered, lifting her shirt. "Ho-ho! A C-cup! Nice… Damn, what the hell am I thinking?" He looked lower. "Ah, here it is, damn seal! Why I wonder… Well, no matter. Unfortunately this development makes you useless to me. So… Gogyo Fuin!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH…" Tsubaki screamed in pain, when Orochimaru slammed his hand in her stomach.
"Well, that'll take care of you for now…"
"Tsubaki, no!"
The sannin smirked. "Ah, so you really have returned…" Orochimaru released Tusbaki and turned around. "...Sasuke-kun…"
With Naruto…
"…I'm a roller, I'm a rider, I'm number one motherfuckin' survivor…" Naruto sang to himself behind his cover. "…So move over, I'm the driver, and I'm high and I'm gonna keep getting higher, yeah, yeah, yeah!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH…"
"Ouch!" He muttered as Orochimaru hit Tsubaki with… something. He didn't hear… Okay, he wasn't listening at all. "Poor Tsubaki! How could he hit such a pretty face? Sadist!"
"Tsubaki, no!"
"Oh-ho! Uchiha to the rescue again!" Jin exclaimed. "This day just keeps getting weirder and weirder… I think I should buy a lottery ticket…"
Meanwhile, Sasuke and Orochimaru were about to get the shit on…
"Bah, I don't care…" Naruto leaned on a tree. "Where was I? Oh yes… Move over baby, get on your knees. I'm gonna drive this little red love machine!"
With Sasuke and Orochimaru…
"Kukuku. How selfish of you…" Orochimaru mocked. "She sacrificed herself to let you escape, and now you are wasting her sacrifice."
"Shut up!" Sasuke yelled, activating his Sharingan.
"Oh?" The sannin exclaimed. "Looks like you are ready to fight. Very well then, come!"
"Katon: Goukakyu no jutsu!" Sasuke threw fireball at his opponent, which he easily dodged.
"Oh, come on! That's not all, right?" Orochimaru mocked again.
"Tch…" Sasuke gritted his teeth and attacked head on, using taijutsu.
"Hm." Snake master smirked, blocking all of Uchiha's strikes swiftly. "Nah, you can't win like that." He stated, delivering mighty spinning heel kick to Sasuke's ribcage.
"Gah!" Uchiha gasped as his back hit a tree. He then spat some blood and glared at his enemy. "I knew I couldn't win against you from the very beginning." The genin said, and glanced at Tsubaki. "But I can't leave her…"
Orochimaru grinned evilly. "Win against me?" He asked in mock confusion. "No, I did not mean me when I spoke about winning…"
"Then who did you mean?"
Sannin's grin widened. "Perhaps you heard the name… Uzumaki Naruto?"
Sasuke's eyes burned with rage immediately. "What do you know about him?"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk… I know enough." Snake man stated. "But the most important thing is… at your current level he will crush you like a bug."
Sasuke clenched his fist hard enough to draw blood. "How do you know that?"
"Kukuku, simple. I trained him."
Two Sharingan eyes widened. "Y-You…"
"Yes me." Orochimaru towered over the Uchiha. "He came to me in search for power, also offering his servitude in return. I agreed… but I shouldn't. He's a traitor…"
"Heh!" Sasuke snorted. "Aren't you?"
The sannin glared. "You don't get it, Sasuke-kun. He betrayed everyone he worked with in the past… and he will betray his current employers as well when he gets what he wants… Just like he did with me."
"So what do you want from me?" Sasuke asked.
"From you?" Orochimaru asked back. "Nothing but help you in your quest." He stated. "I know where Uzumaki Naruto is. I know who he is, and even what his main goal is. But even if I tell you all of it right now, you won't do a shit to him. In fact, he'll simply dispose of you, and…"
"Cut the crap!" Uchiha spat. "What are you proposing?"
"Kukuku… Straight to the point, I like it!" The sannin replied. "What I'm proposing is this. I'll give you a taste of my power and give you some time to test it. When we meet next time, you must have an answer…"
"Answer to what?"
"Are you ready to leave this useless village behind to pursue your dream?"
(Starting song: "Kouen" from Naruto Shippuuden soundtrack 2)
Sasuke's eyes widened. 'He's asking me to defect… But he will give me power to defeat him! Might be worth at least thinking it over.'
"Very well." Raven-haired teen nodded. "Give me your power."
"Kukuku! As you wish!"
With that Orochimaru's neck extended. His head moved forward and he bit Sasuke on the neck.
"Kukuku…" The sannin chuckled when Sasuke screamed and started to twitch in pain. "You will survive, Sasuke-kun. Your hatred is too strong, and it will lead you to me!"
"Sure, for what good it does."
Orochimaru's eyes widened and he somersaulted backwards instantly in order to evade ice spikes that erupted from the ground.
"Shit!" He cursed when spikes didn't stop, but instead started to follow him around everywhere he went. The sannin back flipped once again… only for a very familiar figure to appear behind him while he was still in midair.
"Fubuki!"
SLASH.
Orochimaru's torso flew to one side, his ass – to the other.
"Ho-ho! Homerun! Orochimaru is out, Hahahahahaha!" Jin laughed.
But then…
Orochimaru's mouth opened, and out of it… another Orochimaru appeared.
"Yuk! I told you not to do this in front of me." The blonde stated.
"And I told you to never betray me." The sannin responded.
"Touché!" Naruto exclaimed. "But you should be more careful though. I sensed you even at the academy."
Orochimaru shrugged. "Well, no one else did."
"That's because this village is full of losers."
"Exactly."
Both of them suddenly stopped and looked at each other strangely.
"And here I thought we will never agree on something…"
"Exactly my thought…"
Silence…
"Enough, or my fucking brain will explode." Naruto stated. "Let's simply kill each other. Way too easier!"
"I agree… Bah! Let's do it!" Orochimaru shouted and started to pull Kusanagi sword out of his throat.
"Hishouken!" Naruto threw a blade of ice at him before the sword was out.
Orochimaru jumped to the side. "A dirty trick…" The sannin said, finally removing Kusanagi from his mouth.
Naruto smirked. "I'm a Rattlesnake."
"Nice excuse. Should write it down…"
The blonde smirked. "Uh-uh! It works only for me."
"Why?"
"Simple, I'm the only Rattlesnake."
"Indeed. Senei-ta jashu!" Orochimaru sent another set of snakes at Naruto from his forearm.
"Reitou!" Naruto waved his right hand, creating a wave of ice that froze snakes in midair.
"Damn!" Orochimaru cursed, cutting snakes off so not to be frozen as well.
"You're losing it, Viper. A year ago I wouldn't be able to do that. Looks like age has finally taken its toll on you…"
Orochimaru gritted his teeth. That was a sore spot for him.
"How dare you! I overcame death, I…!"
"Touga Hyujin!"
"Fuck!" The sannin jumped high, evading massive wave of ice. "Take this!" He slashed with his sword.
CLANG.
"Too slow." Naruto stated, blocking downwards strike. "Try mine!" With that he span around himself and did not one but three spinning slashes. One at each area of sannin's body.
"Don't forget who you're dealing with!" Orochimaru replied, deflecting two first strikes and jumping over the third one. "I'm…"
"Fubuki!"
SLASH.
Orochimaru was cut in half once again… only to do his mouth trick once again.
Naruto sighed and sheathed Yukianesa with a click.
"As much as I hate to admit it, but it's useless…" He stated.
"Oh?" Orochimaru smirked. "Giving up already?"
"Haha! You should know better than anyone that I give up only when I can't possibly win."
The sannin glared. "Do you think you can now? Don't get your hopes high, boy! You might be gifted, but I'm still one of the legendary three! A genius, who…"
"Who got owned, yeah, I remember." Jin interrupted, taking out a Hiraishin kunai. "Say… Can I win now?" He added activating Mangekyo Sharingan.
"Tch…" Orochimaru scowled. "What do you want, Rattlesnake?"
"Hmm, let me think… I want world peace!"
Orochimaru's eyes widened.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! That expression was priceless!" Naruto laughed. "But seriously, I don't really care about you… As a matter of fact, I wish you success."
"Huh, why?"
Jin shrugged. "I love this village no more than you do. So I'll tell you what, go on with your little destruction plan. I won't stand in your way."
Orochimaru glared. "What are you playing at, Rattlesnake?"
Naruto smirked. "All I want is to get to Nii-san. Everything else is irrelevant. Besides…" He looked around. "This is really not the place for the two of us to fight. If we go all out, the entire Konoha will be on our asses in a moment. And that's about 25000 ninjas, mind you! That's too much even for the two of us combined."
"Tch…" Orochimaru lowered his blade. "As much as I hate to admit it, but you're right. I'll kill you some other time."
Jin's smirk widened. "Suuuure! Only after you manage to block that move." He said, making Orochimaru scowl even deeper. "But for now, have a little reunion with another student of yours." The blonde added and disappeared in a flash of yellow.
The sannin raised an eyebrow. 'What did he mean by that?'
"OROCHIMARU!" Anko scremed, landing on the same place Naruto was occupying just a minute ago.
"Ah…" Orochimaru nodded. "That's what…"
With Naruto…
"Well, that felt nice! After several month of playing with genins to fight a normal enemy again…"
Silence…
"Holy shit! I just called Orochimaru normal!"
Suddenly another team landed around him.
"Hand over your scroll, or…"
SLASH.
"Man, I feel good right now!" Jin continued to walk forward, paying no attention to three genins he just killed. "I need to drink something… Wait a second, why am I even still here?" He wondered. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot…"
Team seven's hiding spot…
"Ah-ha! They're still alive, good…"
"You always protected me…" He heard Sakura's voice. "Now it's my turn!"
"Huh?" Naruto glanced at her from his hiding spot. "Ho-ho! The most useless team member is going to protect everybody! I'd almost pay to see that!" He suddenly noticed another team…
"…No, we'll attack at daybreak…"
'Oh really?' Jin thought. 'Well, I'm off to sleep then…'
Timeskip. Daybreak… or not…
"Zzzzzzzz…"
"Hey, Zaku! Let's kill this Sasuke in front of her!"
"Zzzzzzzz…"
"Good idea!"
"Zzzzzzzz…"
"Konoha Senpuu!"
"Zzzzzzzz…"
"Who are you?"
"I'm Konoha's beautiful green beast, Rock Lee! And I will protect beautiful Sakura-san!"
"Zzzzzzzz…"
"No matter, let's take him down!"
"Zzz… hmmmhmmm…" Naruto turned to the other side in his sleep. "Zzzzzzzzz…"
Timeskip…
CRASH.
"Zzzzzzzz…"
BOOM.
"Zzzzzzzz…"
IMPACT.
"Grrrr! Someone's gonna fucking die right now!" Naruto exclaimed, standing up. "Oppa! Looks like I overslept a little…"
"Ahhh!" Sakura screamed as she was thrown away by a strong air current.
"Okay, maybe I overslept a lot."
Apparently while he slept, some green clad clown along with team ten came to Sakura's rescue… and all of them were soundly defeated.
"Damn this village is weak…"
"Did you really think you could beat us? Face it; you ninja are just a bunch of losers."
"From a second rate village…"
Suddenly…
"That's pretty tough talk. I guess that makes your village third grade."
Naruto looked at the newcomer. 'A Hyuga… And the arrogance is there… or not?'
"I wonder if any of you amateurs are ready to take on the real thing." Hyuga continued.
Jin nodded to himself. 'Yep, it's there…'
"Lee…" Nearby standing Tenten muttered.
"You blew it." Hyuga spat.
'Ho! These clowns are Tenten's team! I guess I shouldn't kill them all… maybe… I'm thinking… hard choice… really…'
"It seems like someone used our teammate as a punching bag… No one does that and gets away with it!" Hyuga shouted, activating his Byakugan.
"Oppa…" Naruto muttered.
"Wha…?" The Hyuga suddenly turned his way. "I know you're there, show yourself!"
"Meh…" Naruto slowly walked from his cover. "And all it took is your Byakugan to notice me…"
Hyuga gritted his teeth. 'Damn, he's telling the truth! I never even felt his presence until I activated my byakugan. But still…' "You dare to mock the Hyuga clan?"
"Damn right I am." Jin stated, stepping into the light. "You're just a bunch of overrated imbeciles."
Byakugan user was about to response, when…
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" Sound girl screamed in horror, looking at Naruto in absolute fear. "NO, PLEASE! I DON'T WANT TO DIE!"
"Eh?" Naruto tilted his head to the side.
"Kin? What's up with you?" The guy in bandages asked.
But she just continued to shake in fear.
'Hmm… her face actually looks familiar…'
Flashback…
Otogakure…
"Hey you." Naruto called to a girl, who was using his training field. "This is my place to train."
"Well, tough luck, pal. I got this one already! Find yourself another one." She replied and stared at him defiantly.
Big mistake…
"Mangekyo Sharingan!"
"Wha…?"
"Looks like you need to be taught some manners." Jin stated. "For the next thirty six hours I will cut your flesh with a kunai."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!"
End flashback…
"Ah, now I remember you!" Naruto said smirking.
"P-Please don't kill me…" She pleaded.
"Sure, just get your ass out of here."
The girl looked as if she just won a Kage title in a lottery.
"Thank you! You won't regret this!" She tried to jump away, but got stopped by one of her teammates.
"What the hell are you doing, Kin? We have the order to kill the Uchiha!"
"Fuck you, Zaku!" Kin replied. "If you stay, you will find out that there are things worse than death in this life. Now let me go!"
"Fuck, Kin!" The guy in bandages called. "What is it about this loser that frighten you so much?"
Girl's eyes widened. "You imbecile! Please forgive him, Rattlesnake-sama!"
Two genins' eyes widened. "C-Can't be…" They both suddenly bowed low to him. "Please forgive us!"
Naruto waved them off absently. "Just get the fuck out of here. I'm not in the mood…"
Next second they were gone.
"Jin-kun!" Tenten ran over to him. "Did you know those guys?"
"Yep, met them once…"
"You… What is your name?" Hyuga asked dangerously.
"Are you an idiot? She just called it." Naruto replied.
Hyuga glared. "Don't push your luck!"
"Neji-kun, please!" Tenten tried to calm her teammate down. "I'll handle this. Please, check on Lee…"
"Tch…" Neji turned around and glanced over his shoulder. "This isn't over."
Jin only smirked in response.
Tenten sighed. "Damn him and his Hyuga pride…"
"You alright?" Naruto asked.
"Y-Yeah, sure. What about you?"
"Had a nice sleep." The blonde stated. "Nothing interesting since then."
"Oh…" Tenten looked around. "These guys look pretty beaten…"
Naruto snorted. "What did you expect?"
"I guess you're right…"
"By the way, are these two clowns your teammates?"
"Y-Yeah, they are…"
"Clowns or teammates?"
"Both."
"Alright, I'll go check on… oppa…"
"What?"
Naruto sighed. "Look there…" He pointed his finger.
Uchiha Sasuke was slowly getting up to his feet.
"I can feel it… the power! I'm an avenger!" He stated.
'More like a pathetic excuse of one…' Naruto sighed again. "Hey Hyuga! Why don't you show us your superiority and knock this moron out?"
Neji glared at him. "Why don't you?"
Jin waved his hand. "I fight only to death."
"Hn…" Neji stood up. "Very well."
"You're the first I'll test my power on!" Sasuke stated.
"Not this time, Uchiha." Neji replied, activating his Byakugan.
"Shin-ne!" Sasuke lunged forward… Only for Neji to intercept him half way and with three precise attacks knock him back out.
"Not bad." Naruto commented.
"You're next, Kisaragi." Neji warned.
"We'll see about that." He turned to Tenten. "Deal with your team. I'm gonna check on Tsubaki."
"O-Okay…"
Naruto was already walking to where Tsubaki was lying, when…
"Can you explain something, Kisaragi?" Shikamaru asked. "Why this sound girl called you sama?"
"You shut your mouth." Naruto replied coldly without even turning Nara's way. "I'm not compelled to answer to you."
"W-What are you going to do?" This time Sakura asked.
"I'm gonna rape her while she sleeps! Idiot! I want to check on her. Do you know what the problem is?" He said and rolled his eyes. "What am I saying, of course you don't." Jin added, kneeling beside his sister.
'Let's see… Good old Orochimaru hit her with…?' He wondered. 'Nah, don't remember. Hmm… He hit her where…? Right, in the belly…" Blonde's eyes widened. 'Oh shit. Now I remember the word fuin. That means he hit her seal… And that means I can't help her even if I want.'
Girl's eyelids slowly opened. "Wha… Jin?"
"Rise and shine, sleeping beauty!"
"Jin!" She launched herself onto him, and hugged him tightly. "I was so scared…"
"Shh, it's okay. Tell me what happened?"
"I…" She started. "We were attacked by Orochimaru the snake sannin! He was here, I swear!"
"Calm down, Tsubaki. I believe you."
"But…" Her eyes widened. "Wait, you do?"
He shrugged. "I have no reason to doubt you."
"Oh, okay…" She tried to stand up and failed. "Damn, what's wrong with me?"
Naruto sighed. "That's the thing." He replied. "Looks like Orochimaru did something to you… something I can't fix. We need to get you to your father."
"But we don't have the second scroll! Orochimaru burned mine and…"
Jin smirked. "No worries here. I got spare scrolls for everyone. Here."
"Holy shit!" Tsubaki exclaimed. "Where did you get this many?"
"Yeah, I'd like to know that as well…" Shikamaru added.
Naruto's eyes narrowed. "Hmm… Looks like I have failed to realize that I gave you some hints about changing my previous answer. Can you tell me what hints were those?"
Wisely, Shikamaru kept silent.
"Smart, shadow freak." Jin said. "And cut down your long nose, or I'll cut it down for you with my katana."
"Damn, that was cold." Tsubaki stated.
"I'm a Rattlesnake. Let's go."
"Wait, what about Sasuke?"
"Oh, him?" Naruto looked at downed Uchiha. "He just got knocked out. Hey, Sakura, would you like to carry your precious Sasuke-kun to the tower?"
"I… Yes, I would…" The girl responded blushing.
"Very well. Let's go then." Naruto replied. 'Nothing more to do in this forest for me anyway…'
...
Aaaaaaaand another chapter is done! Congratulations to myself!
Next time, preliminary rounds! Who will Naruto face?
Here are the options:
Sasuke – the last Uchiha!
Tsubaki – a kind and brave girl!
Gaara – the guy who loves his mother!
Neji – the master of fate!
Kabuto – spy in glasses!
My grandmother – fucking undying bitch!
So, here it is! And please, can some girl invite me for Christmas? I really hate spending it here…
Sincerely yours.
Darthemius.