94. Conclusion

548 Words

Satsuki sat on a chair, resting her chin on her hands, and watched as 'Sesshoumaru' and 'Kagura' battled it out in front of the cameras. It had been a week since they had come back to Tokyo and continued shooting at the studio. A week since she had thoughtlessly spilled her guts to Ken, bared the wounds of her past that still were fresh. It had been quite pathetic, actually, and she had later felt embarrassed over the whole episode. But Ken had not brought up the incident since, as if sensing that she did not want to talk about it. He did not treat her any different, he was still polite to her, he still sought out opportunities to spend time with her, he still appeared to be interested in her.

And none of those things irritated her, rather, she felt glad and relieved. Was she already losing the battle? Had he managed to slip past her defences?

"Why such a deep frown, Satsuki-chan?"

The actress started and turned to look at the actor sitting beside her.

"Morikawa-san! Uhm, it's nothing."

"Nothing?" the older man questioned kindly, then glancing at the scene being acted out in front of them. "And this nothing is in no way related to Ken-san?"

Satsuki's cheeks flushed slightly and she slumped on her seat.

"That obvious, huh?" she muttered in defeat.

Morikawa shrugged.

"I've been watching you both, this little cat and mouse you've been playing for so long. Do you still hate him?"

"No, I haven't for a while now. It's just that he is so well… smooth and it makes me feel so small. Someone like him and then me who has never even dated anyone… The gap between us feels so big and I'm at a loss."

"Would you want to experience those things then? Dating, relationships, love?"

Satsuki bit her lip and nodded. Of course she wanted those things; she was sick and tired of watching from the side how all her friends found someone that made them happy.

"I do, I just… I don't know what I should do." Satsuki sighed and stared at the floor.

Morikawa smiled gently, his eyes shining with understanding.

"You have to be confident, Satsuki-chan. You have to be ready to fall."

"I don't want to fall," the actress said in a small voice. "I don't want to be hurt any more than I already have."

"You can't fall in love or have a relationship with someone as long as you stay safe behind your wall and shelter your heart. It is scary to stand before someone, to lay your heart bare for them, but without taking that leap of faith, nothing serious can begin."

She raised her gaze, found the old man's kind eyes. His words really stuck her and she recognised the truth in them.

"You can't trust another person as long as you protect yourself, and trust is a cornerstone for a relationship."

"I suppose that's true," she replied slowly. Somehow she felt like her eyes had opened, like now she could see what she needed to change.

"Do you trust him, Satsuki-chan?" Morikawa prompted.

The actress didn't answer, but her gaze once more settled on the battling 'Sesshoumaru' as her budding feelings and insecurities warred in her heart.