I'm soooo sorry for the long wait, you guys ;_; I feel terrible, but I just haven't had much motivation to write lately. Hopefully you can forgive me!
Rage burned through my body like a wildfire, and I was barely aware of Baragma pounding after me calling my assumed name. "Luma! Stop, please," I begrudgingly did as he asked and spun on my heel to stare him directly in the face.
"Where'd you learn to fight like that?" I thought he would scold me for taking the sparring too far, or tell me he never wanted to see my face again, or just look at me and shake his head like a disapproving parent. But he did none of that, and if I wasn't mistaken there was a hint of admiration in his voice.
"Blackreach. There was nothing to do most of the time down there so we would practice fighting a lot. I guess the Falmer take their spars more seriously than humans do, though." I leaned to the side to peer back up at Jorrvaskr, which was rather quiet despite the chaos that was probably going on inside. He crossed his arms and gave me that look, and I sensed a lecture coming on. Suddenly I felt very small, like an insect under a magnifying lens.
He didn't lecture me, though. "Well, now you know. Take it easy on people next time, unless it's for real of course." I noticed for the first time I had been clenching my jaw so hard it hurt, and I considered going back up to the mead hall on my own and apologizing to Farkas for getting so carried away. Pride wouldn't let me, though, and instead I waited outside the door while Baragma went in and spoke with them. There was no screaming or crashes, which was good I supposed. When he came back out, his face was bright and happy. I forced a smile, trying to be happy for him, "So, you're in?" He nodded and my smile faded.
"They said that you might be a tad too fiery for them though," Baragma shifted uncomfortably. "Sorry Luma-" he said that name funny again, "You can come up and visit sometimes though, nothing wrong with that. Maybe I'll even sneak you along on a job or two." I thought about how humiliating that would be, to be the rejected member of the Companions tagging along with their newest whelp, but nodded slowly just to appease the man.
"I'm supposed to go visit Eorlund Gray-Mane and get a new weapon, too." He looked to be growing more excited by the minute and had already set off at a jog toward the small hill that led to the Skyforge before I even had a chance to reply. I shook my head and followed after, at a slightly slower pace.
Baragma had settled in nicely at Jorrvaskr and they'd kept him busier than he normally was, much to my displeasure. I didn't quite know the word to describe the feeling that grew in the pit of my stomach and that nagging thought at the back of my head that wailed he's forgotten about you over and over until I wanted to cave my own head in, but I knew I didn't like it. We rarely got even a moment to speak anymore, and I was beginning to grow restless waiting around at the Bannered Mare for him to come-a-calling. I sat at the bar on a stool nursing a tankard of mead and listening to Mikael strum his instrument and sing, and I wanted nothing more in that moment to just cleave the heads from everyone in the room and set the building ablaze in the name of boredom. At least that'd be something to do, I thought.
The tankard drained of its contents, I sat it down on the counter and dropped a few septims next to it before nodding to Hulda and striding tartly toward the door, head held high and jaw set like someone who had a plan. In truth, I didn't have a plan other than going and retrieving my horse from the stables and going on a ride to quell the absolute boredom of the town that was beginning to feel like a prison.
Crisp air bit at my pale skin and turned my nose and lips bright pink, but I didn't let it bother me as I brushed out Starling's coat a bit more roughly than usual. He pinned his ears and snapped his teeth at me several times, but received an elbow in the nose and a bit in his mouth instead. I decided to forego the saddle this time, as I wished to save a bit of time and effort, and mounted my haphazardly groomed stallion. Immediately he broke into a quick canter, clearly eager to get out of the stall and stretch his legs for once, and I wasn't about to argue. Scattered snowflakes fell from the otherwise clear sky and melted on my skin and in my tightly braided hair. A young stag and its mother shrieked and bolted away from us, and I could hear the chittering of the birds that lived in the nearby forest more clearly than ever.
Before I knew it, Starling and I were farther away from town than I'd anticipated going. Uneasiness knotted in my gut at the realization that I was lost and fairly far from 'home', and my horse sensed it as well as he slowed to a walk and began twitching his ears about nervously.
"Easy, it's okay." I stroked his neck and murmured to him quietly, trying to reassure myself more than him. The treeline had grown closer to the path than back around the plains of Whiterun, and I found myself unable to tear my eyes away from their dark depths. Something was not right at all, and apart from trying to retrace my path I had no idea how to get back to Whiterun. The horse made a deep rumbling noise that came from his chest and stared intently at a particularly impassable thicket, nostrils flared and muscles so tense one might think he himself were made of Skyforge steel.
The bushes rustled a bit and out popped a small brown elk, looking rather frightened itself as it seemed to try and decide which way to turn as it skittered around on the cobblestone path. It seemingly chose to head farther up the road, away from us and whatever had spooked it. Starling was now backing up quickly, half-rearing and snorting hard as he did so. I tugged on my reins, trying to get him to come to a halt and wondering why a simple elk had caused him to act in such a way when I heard possibly the most frightening, ear-piercing noise I'd ever come across in my life. It sounded like the twisted, mutated howls of a wolf or dog but I'd never heard any creature make such a noise.
Suddenly I knew what was frightening the horse so badly, but it was too late. He let out a frantic shriek, reared straight up and dumped me off before taking off at the hardest run I'd ever seen him. I lay there on the ground, without a horse or any means of escape, and I accepted my fate in that moment as I rolled about trying to learn how to breathe again. Whatever had roared just moments ago was going to kill me.